The Best of Times
by Ozzallos
Summary: Ranma discovers why his life at the Tendo Dojo has been hell and engages in an epic pissing match with Pluto and the rest of the Senshi. A fukufic production, multipart. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1 v2

**The Best of Times…**  
By Ozzallos  
A Fukufics (dotcom) Production

**Part ONE **

**O**h, she is _SO_ going to get it, Ranma thought as another fiancée locked onto his arm. This fiancée had long brown hair, soft eyes and a combat spatula slung across her back. Somehow she managed to not only to favor the pigtailed martial artist with a smile, but shoot corrosive daggers at the woman on his _other_ arm. The recipient, a purple haired Amazon sniffed with contempt, opting to apply yet more of her body to the relentless glomping of her prize. Ranma's brain stuttered momentarily as soft body parts were applied to his person in equal measure, but was quickly rebooted by roiling annoyance. Somehow he managed to filter the sensations that would turn an ordinary man into nothing more than a quivering hormone and concentrated instead on an entirely different concept…

Payback.

He wasn't sure quite yet, but two fiancées had simply appeared out of the blue almost simultaneously and he had since become very wary of such happenstance. There was a reason for that. Now granted, it could be coincidence, Ranma thought if only to entertain himself and bask in the unreality of the idea. And if it was, Akane wouldn't be showing up to—

Sure enough, the girl with a cobalt crop of short, silky hair rounded the corner, her eyes locking on the entwined trio immediately. A bright blue battle aura snapped into existence. "What the HELL do you think you're doing?"

Ranma cringed slightly, but the tactical portion of his mind was already focusing on other matters… That woman was so, _SO_ going to get it. Part of him was actually offended slightly. The least she could have done was something different this time around. If you're going to sabotage somebody's life, at least be creative about it; But instead it the same old catalyst: Fiancées, glomp, Akane, Ryoga—

"NOW WHERE AM I?"

The pig tailed boy nodded. Right on schedule. He would almost be bored with the situation if it weren't so damn annoying. Next would be Mousse, Ranma ticked down the mental checklist as Ryoga launched into his tirade. Mousse should be on scene within five minutes to follow up on Shampoo. Kuno would invariably follow, but not always, followed by the Big One. He paid little attention to Akane's rant now, noting only the pitch of her ever-increasing pyre of rage. Ranma was more concerned with the Big One, which normally consisted of one overly large and obscenely powerful adversary that would drop in during the entire mess to vent his/her/its frustrations out on the world's best martial artist. Sunlight flashed off a mirrored surface as Mousse touched down from the rooftop, blades gleaming wickedly. Ryoga had finished his outburst. Akane had deployed her mallet and now it was Mousse's turn. The fiancées at his arm abruptly disengaged and dropped into combat stances opposite one another.

Ranma sighed wearily. Payback was definitely in order. With _liberal_ amounts of interest following shortly thereafter.

* * *

The long, green-haired woman smoothed out her white-black fuku and nodded with satisfaction, locking the Time Gates before her. Keeping the world's premier martial artist occupied was indeed a full time job, but it was an absolutely necessary one. Sailor Pluto let the key to eternity rest lightly on a shoulder and allowed a self-satisfied smile creep across her face. She thought the giant purple dinosaur showing up toward the end was a nice touch on her part. Granted, the Guardian of Time knew she should have been enjoying her job so much, but when faced with the crushing weight of eternity's passage, one couldn't help but to have some fun every now and then. 

Besides, it was absolutely necessary.

Sailor Pluto had once considered letting Ranma Saotome to lead a normal life, but quickly found that allowing him any sort of free reign was like taking a sledge hammer to all of her carefully laid plans. Without some sort of diversion, the outcomes that led to Crystal Tokyo dissolved into a hectic mass of divergent probabilities, each as likely as the next while only six point five percent favored the future she was so desperate to achieve. Normally the Outer would have just removed him at birth, but the chaos that flowed around him and his family made it all but impossible to track _that_ event and his subsequent childhood. She could almost feel the gates wince whenever she tried as they outright refused to lock onto the boy. It had taken Sailor Pluto sixteen years to devise a counter and once Ranma settled in Nerima, that was all she wrote. While she couldn't track him or his chaos-ridden family, she _could_ track his friends and acquaintances, of which he seemed to have plenty.

The bad news was that once she had finally located him those sixteen years later, his power had grown exponentially. Outright removing him from the timeline had proven all but impossible. After all, you can only direct so many meglomanical kidnappers, Chinese gods and Phoenix people at somebody before giving up in absolute disgust as they failed time and again to bring the target down. But Sailor Pluto was the Guardian of the Time Gates for a reason and she had learned early in her career that which could not be destroyed could invariably be manipulated. In short, she kept one of the world's most powerful martial artists busy. _Very_ busy. He had certainly given her enough material to play with and he was now very easy to track in that quagmire named Nerima. Pluto still couldn't focus on him specifically, but his friends, enemies and acquaintances generally knew enough for her to manipulate and conduct operations against the boy. As long as she could keep it up, Crystal Tokyo stood a ninety-six point three chance of existing.

Sailor Pluto nodded to herself once more. All in a day's work.

* * *

Most people would have killed for a wishing sword. All Ranma had to do was look cute as a girl. He remembered the day quite clearly as family, friends and enemies had taken a pointed interest in exactly what he would be wishing for. 

_"Ranma wish Shampoo and Airen marry, yes?"  
"I say you wish for a few million in cash, Saotome."  
"You are definitely going to wish for a cure, boy!"  
"No way is that Amazon Hussy marrying my Ran-chan!"  
"If you don't wish for cure for all of us, I'll kill you Ranma!"  
"Quack!"  
"Oh my!"  
"What do I care what that baka wishes for anyway?" _

Even the memory was painful, Ranma winced as he blurred through another kata, creating a nearly imperceptible flaw in its flowing precision. The arguing over his wish continued for another ten minutes before his patience exhausted itself and he uttered those fateful words—

_"Ahhrg! I wish I knew why I can't get a moment's peace!" _

He hadn't meant to say that. In fact, he had meant for his actual wish to have more substance, but the frustration of the moment consumed him and the sword activated. That's when the focus of Ranma's entire life changed. The image of a green haired woman imprinted itself into his mind's eye. She was 5'6", had long green hair and unusual purple eyes. The vision wore a modest lavender business suit and was, by all rights, drop dead gorgeous. The visage faded and was replaced by one of the same woman wielding a heart tipped staff. Now she wore a very revealing black and white fuku, showing off generous portions of the woman's marvelous curves. All in all, Ranma would have been more than happy with the vision, if not for the knowledge that crashed into him like a sledgehammer seconds later. She was Setsuna Meiou otherwise known as Sailor Pluto, Guardian of Time. Even if the wish hadn't supplied him with the information, her title said it all and it became clear that she considered him a threat. This, of course was why his life was hell—She was directly manipulating the events around him to _make_ it hell.

Ranma finished the last of his kata and began to slow through the cool-down phase. _Why_ she was so intent on screwing up his life wasn't known, as the scope of his wish hadn't provided that particular morsel of information. What it _had_ provided was awareness, and ever since that vision Ranma's awareness of the events around him had snapped from idle acceptance to piercing scrutiny. Soon, the pigtailed martial artist began to see the patterns of her meddling. They were normally quite easy to spot once he knew what to look for since they invariably had her trademark 'signature' to them. Five months down the road, Ranma Saotome was able to spot a "Pluto was here" event miles away, Even if he could do nothing to avoid it. Now they served only to reinforce those feelings of payback.

The pigtailed boy had now moved from the Dojo to his room, pulling out the aging copy of _Pop Tokyo Now!_ from under his futon and flipped it open to the folded page. Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts generally wasn't one to pick up the latest trendy teen girls magazines, but this one was special. What caught his eye was the group photo of the Sailor Scouts on the front and it had taken every ounce of his Soul of Ice technique to overcome the embarrassment of buying the frilly girls magazine. Ranma plopped down on his futon and now viewed the marked page containing the bios of each Sailor Scout. It was probably the hundredth time or he had done so, but he was now operating solidly under the premise of 'Know Thy Enemy'. The wish had given him fairly detailed information on Setsuna herself, but none on her partners in crime. Knowing that she was a Sailor Scout made it easy to pick up information on her friends, as every teen magazine seemed to have an over-abundance of them. Even without the knowledge of their real identities, there was more than enough information on them to discern their powers and likely tactics. Ranma pulled out another issue, this one title _Teen-Teen Express!_ It was ironic that Ranma could now buy girly teen magazines in either form without so much as flinching now and days. Call it a perverse form of curse therapy. He thumbed through the new magazine now, not the least bit self-conscious of the fact that it was pink, cute and decidedly aimed toward the female population. This particular copy had in-depth personality information and the like, which he absorbed like a sponge. If Setsuna Meiou even had a clue as to what she had done to trigger this behavior, she might well be shaking in her high-heels.

Simply put, neither realized that what the Outer had done was a very bad thing for her long-term sanity. The fact that she was meddling in his affairs wasn't enough to cause the change, but his actual knowledge of her _was_. Ranma's psyche had been somewhat of a mixed bag since childhood. Had he been allowed to develop normally, the martial artist could have easily been a genius in anything and everything he applied himself to. Instead, he had been denied any semblance of a normal life, traumatized, beaten and forced to concentrate with unwavering focus on the martial arts. The result was a form of mental scarring that all but locked his fantastic mental process in a box, only to be released when faced with a fight. Normally this wouldn't be a problem for the Senshi of Time but for one minor detail… Now that Ranma knew an outside force was influencing his life, that tactical computer was finally freed from its bottle and it analyzed _everything_, actively searching out her influence in order to avoid or prevent it. It also began to affect his normal life, and very slowly that genius level intellect began to assert itself in every area of his life. It wasn't a perfect match as there was still a lot of scarring to overcome, but it was there. Free. And slowly winding up like a ravenous jet intake.

* * *

It was perhaps a redundant item of interest to point out that Nabiki Tendo had absolutely no concept of personal privacy. Or rather she _did_ have such a concept, but simply chose to apply it only to herself. Everybody else however, was fair game. Like many other commodities in life, privacy could be bought and sold for the right price and Nabiki was an expert in the art of invading that particular aspect of people's lives. Certain people were of course exempt from this practice, Kasumi being tops on that list. The eldest sister was sweet, kind, caring… And held more leverage in the household than she could shake a broomstick at. Kasumi never got angry. She got even. In _very_ subtle ways. 

Ranma Saotome, resident freeloader and future brother in-law to be, however was at the very bottom of that list.

Tonight it was time to invade his privacy, collect some debts and extort some pictures from him. Or rather, her. It was a shakedown in every sense of the word and like every other night, she was certain it would go off it out a hitch. Of course, that supposition flew right out the window the moment she turned the door handle to his room and stepped in. All things considered, she had seen stranger things since the Saotomes took up residence in her home. Ass-ugly Phoenix Birds. Demonic possession. Any number of shape-gender-species shifting martial artists. Yes, while the sight in front of her was easily eclipsed by those events, it still ranked somewhere in the top twenty of Nerima's Weirdest. It was Ranma. Laying on his futon. _Surrounded by teen girls magazines_.

Needless to say, Nabiki Tendo took a moment to recover.

Ranma's head snapped up and the two considered one another for a small eternity. The Mercenary recovered first. "You know Ranma, if you're going all girl again, at least give me some warning first."

The words snapped Ranma back to the real world with a crimson blush and he flew off the futon, away from the offending "literature"; if one could use such a term and maintain a strait face. The martial artists flailed wildly in embarrassment. "It's not what it looks like!"

"It looks like you were reading a bunch of teen magazines."

'Uh… Right…" Ranma found a much neglected spot on the wooden floor at his feet, avoiding eye contact in its entirety. "It's… um, ah, Research."

Nabiki's eyebrow arched. This situation had money written all over it. "Research? I see. Researching the latest in beauty tips?"

"No!" His head snapped back up in protest, a pained look on Ranma's face.

"Fashion accessories?"

"NO!" The protest came more loudly and Nabiki simply smirked. This was 'Money' with a capital 'M'.

"I see." Nabiki stated, smiling widely now. "One hundred and one ways to satisfy your man?"

"NONONONO!" The horrified look on Ranma's face was priceless. "Dammit, I'm researching the Senshi!"

"As in the _Sailor_ Senshi?" Nabiki asked with a slight hint of incredulity. Ok, she decide, the situation just went from run-of-the-mill strange to downright weird. A girly Ranma she could accept. There was precedence to that. A male Ranma defending his manliness while surrounded by teen 'zines and researching the Sailor Senshi was just north of the Twilight Zone, however. Ranma opened his mouth and closed it just as fast, realizing his most grievous error. Not that there were too many ways for him to talk his way out of the situation Nabiki observed with predatory glee. The evidence just doesn't get more damning than this. She considered the situation thoughtfully. "Ok, Saotome. Before I extort a very _large_ sum of money from you, would you care to explain why you have at least fifteen girl magazines and why you're reading up on the Senshi?"

Ranma looked indignant at first, then sighed. "Sure, why not. As if yer gonna believe me anyway." Nabiki simply waited in the doorway. "Remember that stupid wish I made?" Oh, Nabiki remembered it all right. A veritable fortune flushed away because of Ranma's bumbling. A minor scowl crossed her face at the thought and she tacked on a bit extra to Saotome's 'protection' bill.

"I got my wish after all."

Nabiki blinked, annoyance temporarily forgotten. She had thought- like everybody else –that the wish was so assinine that it wasn't even granted or that the sword just told him he was an idiot and disappeared. But the fact that it had granted the wish and Ranma about it was an entirely different matter. What was that wish again? Ah yes… "You wished you knew why you can't get a moment's peace?' What's that got to do with…?"

Ranma nodded. "Well, I found out why I can't... Get any peace, that is." Nabiki was actually interest now and watched as he picked up one of the many magazines. "This is why."

Nabiki focused in on who he pointed at in the glossy picture. "_Sailor Pluto?_" He watched the skeptisim form in her eyes. "You do realize…"

"How unbelievable that sounds?" Ranma finished and she nodded. "Yeah, but before the wish, I didn't even know what a Senshi _was_ and her face and everything about her was crammed into my head."

"So all of this…?" Nabiki waved a hand towards the strewn magazines. She shivered at his next words and the ice that laced them.

"Know thy enemy."

Every doubt that Nabiki had as to wheter Ranma was pulling her leg or not evaporated in that instant and she knew that he was going after The Defenders of Love and Justice. Not that she cared as such. Love and Justice weren't exactly the harbingers of profit by themselves, but stir in one pigtailed martial artist…

"Alright Saotome… Let's talk business."

* * *

Finding the Sailor Senshi was a trivial task. Every piece of "literature" Ranma had pointed to the district of Juuban as their primary base of operations. The plan was easy enough; wander around town, find a Youma attack and wait for the Senshi to show up. 

He watched the fight from atop a nearby house, cloaked using the sealed Umi-sen-ken technique. Despite his general knowledge of the magical girls, it was exactly that—"General". If this he was going to have any chance in hell of formulating an effective plan against Pluto's meddling in his life, he was going to need to get to know them a bit better. The fight progressed and Ranma began to mentally tag the three combatants present. His eyes first fell on the sailor with a short crop for cobalt blue hair. He had seen her in the magazines before, but that never stayed the feeling of intense deja'vu he felt whenever looking at Sailor Murcury's image. The girl could have easily passed as a younger Akane Tendo in some other life. She hung at the back of the battle and appeared to be consulting some sort of tiny calculator as the other two engaged their target, a sickly pink looking creature that vaguely resembled a woman. With claws. Really, really long claws.

_"Crescent Beam!"_

Golden crescent arcs of light slammed into the monster, sending it skittering across the landscape courtesy of the blonde in the orange and white fuku. Some serious power, Ranma noted as Sailor Venus carried the assault forward. The battered "youma" as Ranma had come to know them righted itself just in time for the next attack to slam home courtesy of the green and white clad girl, otherwise known as Sailor Jupiter. The lighting bolt burned through the monster's torso, which was already weakened by Venus' last attack. The Youma sagged and stared at the smoldering hole in it's chest before collapsing completely, disintegrating into ash.

Good, Ranma nodded from the rooftop as the trio gathered around the remains. It would put a serious crimp in his plans if he had to help them at this point. The battle had been quite enlightening. The Sailors appeared to rely heavily on ranged attacks that definitely weren't ki-based. Magic based? Ranma rolled the idea around in his head. That would fit with the information he have so far. So far it wasn't anything his martial arts abilities couldn't emulate to one degree or another. Ah, there they go. It was almost laughable that they were actually fighting in those costumes, though it appeared they took surprisingly little damage in the tussle. Magical as well most likely, which meant they the girls were probably tougher than they looked.

Ranma roof hopped after the girls and it wasn't five minutes later that he found them outside an apartment. PLEASE tell me they aren't that obvious, he thought at the girls, who merely looked around to make sure nobody was watching and promptly de-transformed. The martial artist shook his head in disgust. How in the world have they survive this long! The Defenders of Love and Justice transforming to their daily selves right in front of their home base? On one hand he was happy they had such an exploitable weakness while on the other hand it was downright scary that they had such an exploitable weakness. He stared down from the rooftop as they filed in and felt something was off… Something vague. Like his brain didn't want to associate the Sailors with the girls he just saw de-transform.

Wonder if this is what Kuno feels like, Ranma thought with some amusement as he tried to analyze the sensation. It had a taste to it. More magic? It would certainly explain how they could get away with being so careless, he decided and began to case the apartment. Hmmm… If _I_ were a sailor- Ranma cringed at the thought –I'd have all sorts of security on that place. Windows. Doors. Everything. But then, they haven't exactly shown much skill in the art of subterfuge either. He mentally noted the sun drifting lazily toward the horizon and decided he'd had enough fun for one day. Three Sailors and their civilian faces were commited to memory, a base of operations tagged with no sign of reprisal while Pluto's residence was already burned into his brain thanks to the wish. All in all it had been a pretty good day, which got Ranma to wondering… Just how much did The Meddler know about him and his activities? He'd have thought that if keeping him tied up was a priority, Sailor Pluto would have put an even higher priory on curbing today's reconnaissance, let alone positively ID'ing her teammates. Ranma chewed on the revelation as he roof-hopped home. Whatever she was, it was looking as if she didn't have a complete picture of his daily life… which in turn led to yet more questions, such as how she got her information and how much she could find out. Even so, his tactical mindset awakened with today's revelations that his opponent was far from all knowing and all seeing.

That fact alone gave him considerable leeway to formulate his payback.

* * *

Setsuna Meiou was concerned. Not panicky, just concerned. Apparently Ranma was taking a day off, because she could not find him for the life of her. Not that the Gates would have locked onto the boy anyway, but he apparently wasn't around any of his friends either. When combined with the chaos that surrounded him, he was effectively invisible unless she could pin down somebody who had seen him and THAT would take a lot of work if she had to expand outside friends and family. 

Sailor Pluto shrugged. Aw, what the hell. Let him have his day off. She smiled. After all, tomorrow was pterodactyl day.

* * *

Ranma stared. It was an honest-to-God giant pterodactyl. He was almost flattered. Sailor Pluto, the Senshi of Time had sicced _Rodan_ on him. The enormous winged reptile blew overhead once more in yet another attempt to impale him with its razor sharp talons. It had actually been Mousse who had unleashed the monster against him, but Ranma knew Setsuna's handiwork when he saw it and knew she had somehow arranged for Mousse to come into possession of the ancient summoning statue. Yes, she was the one responsible, even if by proxy. The pigtailed martial artist sent another Moko Takabishi into the over flying beast's belly and it seemed to staggered in midair before escaping to high altitude. 

By now even Mousse realized his mistake and had joined in the defense of Nerima as the air came alive in a surreal display of martial arts anti-aircraft fire. Swords, maces, training potties, ki-blasts, spatula shiruken, ninja stars and other exotic ordinance tracked through the sky in an effort to bring down the wayward Jurassic reject who had steadily been ripping apart Nerima in its effort to evisorate Ranma. That was two hours ago, and what had Ranma Saotome to show for his troubles?

_WHAAP! _

"WHATDDYA DO THAT FOR?" Ranma hollered as he peeled himself from the floor. He would almost swear that mallet was made of ki absorbant materials since he never could seem to detect its presence or its inevitable application to his person.

"That's for almost destroying the city!" Akane fumed indignantly.

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" He protested and watched as she gripped the stealthy mallet tighter.

"It's your fault for flirting with that hussy all the time!" Akane countered and Ranma missed a vital connection somewhere.

_"WHAT?" _

Akane's eyes narrowed sharply and the rest of the family watched the scene play out with morbid fascination. It really was better than a soap opera. "If you didn't flirt with the Chinese Slut so much, Mousse wouldn't be jealous. If Mousse wasn't jealous then he wouldn't have resorted to using a giant flying reptile against you!" Ranma twitched at the thoroughly twisted logic, and then she added out of spite, "Pervert!"

Ranma blinked as the family stared on in silence. Akane glowered at him. If there was ever a moment of absolute clarity in Ranma's life, it was right here and right now. Two thoughts burned in Ranma's mind. First, Akane was absolutely insane. He loved her. Even killed for her, but it was moments like these that made him doubt if the world was even round, let alone his relationship with her. The second thought?

Setsuna Meiou was **SO** going to pay.

* * *

Setsuna Meiou teleported into her room later that night. Ranma hadn't been the only one having a long, excruciating day. Sure, that exercise in insanity had brightened her spirits considerably, but then she found the probabilities on Crystal Tokyo drifting again and had to remove three minor villains and a teenage pop idol from the timeline. The villains were a gimmie as they would eventually grow in influence to challenge the Senshi. Not that they would ever beat her girls, but they would appear and join forces at a most inopportune moment, knocking Crystal Tokyo out of the probabilities by five point eight percent. The Pop Idol on the other hand was a different matter entirely. She was entirely too distracting for her own good and simply had to be eliminated. 

Setsuna de-transformed into an elegant business two piece and flipped on the light. She immediately froze. There were hundreds of them. No, _thousands _of them. _Everywhere_. One crawled atop her high-heeled shoe. The woman formerly known as Sailor Pluto twitched.

_"AAAIIIIIIEEEEEeeeEEEEEEEE!" _

Fifteen minutes later a concerned Usagi stared at the huddling ball quivering on the sofa, Michiru sitting next to her in a futile attempt to comfort the terrified woman. Nobody would have believed it if they hadn't seen it themselves since the oldest of the Senshi wasn't generally prone to abject, irrational terror. Or any other emotion, for that matter. But then, who wouldn't be after being subjected to an apartment room full of roaches, all of which had absolutely no concept of the words 'personal space'.

"I think that's all of them." Ami stated as she swept her clam shelled PDA around the premises once more. Ah yes, the Murcury Computer… being used to hunt roaches. The cobalt blue haired girl frowned at the thought.

"Any idea what caused this?" Michiru asked from the couch, stroking the stricken woman's green hair gently.

"No. The house is clean. No evidence of forced entry." Ami fingered a sheet of paper, handing it to Usagi first. "Except for this."

The blonde took the yellow sticky note and read it allowed, eliciting the first reaction from Setsuna Meiou since they found her screaming. Her head snapped up and eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

"Ranma was here."

_**End Part 1**_

* * *

**Author's notes:** _Fukufics asked if I could do a Ranma/SM fic for them and I said, "Sure, why not?" with little idea of what I was getting myself into. Needless to say, we're talking about a nearly saturated genre of fics. The biggest challenge was creating something original and after two aborted attempts, I think I have something here. things to look forward to: Sailor Nova Ranma (w/Fuku, Sunny ;). Sailor Tux Ranma. More Fiancees (for both Ranma and Pluto). The infiltration of the Senshi. The manipulation of said Senshi. A tub full of Cheeze Wiz. And of course, The Big Battle™._

_Think of it as just one huge pissing contest.  
And that's just the first date ;)_

**Akane;** _I'll head this one off before it gets started; Yes, I do portray her as a beotch. No, I did not fall into the lazy "Akane's a hose beast" trap. I purposely stepped into it, thank you very much If you ever see me with a pro-Akane fic, there's a snowball fight going on in hell._

**Pluto's Eye Color;** _Damned if I could find one pic that have the same shade. They look something like a marron-mauve, so don't bust me too badly on this one._

**Special thanks** to Proof Readers _Delta-Theta, Sunny, Yarrow, Ellf

* * *

_Changes in v2 -_ Sailor Venus fuku orange, not red. Mousse lauches training potties as opposed to their larger cousins. Outers live in an house, not apartment. Grammar, spelling.

* * *

_


	2. Chapter 2

**The Best of Times…**  
_By Ozzallos_  
A Fukufics (dotcom) Production

**Part 2**

**S**etsuna Meiou paced in front of the time gates, clad in functional, yet revealing body armor that made up her Sailor Pluto persona. Body armor was perhaps too generous of a term for the short, tight black and white fuku she now wore, but after centuries of use, she was all but oblivious to the fact. Even if she were somehow self conscious of the garb she now wore, only one thing occupied her mind at present.

Ranma Saotome was SO going to pay.

The fact that he was able to gain access to her home was disconcerting enough, but he shouldn't have even known she _existed_, let alone know where to find her… Or that she was deathly afraid of cockroaches. The last thought caused a shiver to ripple through her body and she forced her attention back to the time gates in front of her. Knowing her most deep seated phobia pointed to a level of knowledge that should have been well beyond the martial artist's ability to obtain, especially since the two people who did know were dead right along with the Silver Millennium. It also begged the question of exactly how much he _did _know? Either way, one thing was obvious: Mister Saotome obviously had too much free time on his hands. An evil smile cracked Sailor Pluto's normally emotionless mask. So he wants to play on my fears, hmmm? She adjusted the time flow of the gates to just the right moment and the evil smile grew.

Time to teach Ranma Saotome that you don't screw with the Mistress of Time.

* * *

By any measure it had been a good day for Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. Which is to say it had actually been a very _bad_ one. He had come to realize early on that any good day for him meant that there was a woeful imbalance of karma in the universe and sooner or later his person would be the conduit to bring it back into balance in a most unpleasant manner. Akane was happy today, which was a bad sign. She had even been humming on their way to school, which by Ranma's standard was the herald to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. He had not been splashed once by cold water, which probably meant the seas would be overflowing with blood soon enough, and Nabiki even gave him a pass today. Ranma was certain that if he looked up into the sky he would not only find a total eclipse of the sun, but a burning two hundred mile wide meteor poised to smite all of mankind for its trespasses. Or maybe it was just all in his head. After all, it's only paranoia if nobody is out to get you. Which _they _usually were. 'They' being any number of people, in Ranma's case.

He was almost relieved to find out Akane was cooking since Kasumi was on a date with Doc Tofu. Ranma would take his punishment like a man and karma would be brought back into alignment for nothing more than a stomachache and a week's worth of indigestion. It was a fair compromise in his opinion. Better him take the karmatic bullet than watch as all of civilization collapsed around him simply because he couldn't stomach Akane's cooking. Of course, sometimes it fought back harder than Ryoga, but then the life of a martial artist is fraught with peril, right?

A smiling Akane sat the dish down in front of him and Ranma knew he was in trouble. She had mentioned that she was making chow mein and what was on the plate actually _looked _like chow mein. His sense of dread grew exponentially at the realization that she had really cooked something that bore a superficial resemblance to its namesake. All eyes were on him of course, being the official Tendo sacrificial lamb. He was their canary in the coalmine, because if he keeled over, the food was undoubtedly toxic and not to be touched under any circumstances by the rest of the family. In fact, his fits of agony would probably provide the perfect distraction by which to escape their evil daughter's culinary masochism. Ranma steeled himself and took the first bite of noodles. His life flashed before his eyes and he knew it with certainty…

_They were all gonna die_.

It would be a sick and painful death, undoubtedly riddled with screaming torture and anguish. It would be suffering on a magnitude never before seen, unimaginable in its scope. And just how did Ranma Saotome know such a hideous fate awaited him? Quite easily, actually.

The food was _good_.

Akane looked at him with The Question sparkling in her eyes. The Question, if answered incorrectly held the promise of swift and painful retribution, as to insult her cooking was akin to insulting life itself… Which it sometimes was, as Ranma had observed from her past attempts to bend and twist the very fabric of culinary reality whenever she manned the kitchen. The rest of the family also looked upon him with The Question. Their responses, however, would be quite different if Ranma keeled over within the next five minutes; Probably along the lines of taking iodine tablets and breaking out the biohazard gear that was normally left collecting dust in the hall closet. Even Kasumi was not so foolish as to take a bite on the promise of Akane's good will alone. No, it wasn't an acquired taste. It was as if the youngest sister's cooking mutated like a virus to ensure that it would not only continue to taste bad, but inflict severe hemorrhaging on the unfortunate victim who managed to ingest it. Few realized that was, in fact, the real reason Kasumi Tendo studied medicine as a hobby. Finding a cure to Akane's cooking would be worthy of a Nobel Prize in and of itself.

"Well?"

Ranma considered his fiancee's question as he swallowed. "Um, it's good."

The family blinked. Impossible. "Then what's the matter?" Akane asked with a perturbed edge in her voice. It was all but impossible to miss the pigtailed boys anxiety. Normally it would have been directed squarely at her masterpiece, but today her assumption was totally incorrect. Ranma was about to answer when a knocking at the door was heard. Ranma's sense of dread deepened. He knew what was at the door.

Karma.

And it had just come home to roost.

"Oh, I'll get it." Kasumi stated happily, rising from the dinner table. Ranma really wished she wouldn't, and his eyes tracked her with nervous apprehension. It was like some sadistic game show, and Ranma knew exactly what was behind door number one. Not its contents per se, but given how well the day had gone so far, it just couldn't be good. In fact, it was probably the embodiment of all life consuming evil at this point, especially with Akane's cooking having been palatable. Whatever it was, her cooking actually being edible was like pulling the pin on a live grenade. Kasumi opened the gateway to karmatic balance and a new voice was heard.

"Um, hello. Would this happen to be the Saotome residence?" The speaker might have easily been a relative of Dotor Tofu, save the cigarette hanging from his mouth and disheveled white lab coat draping across his person. He adjusted his round glasses absently.

"No, this is the Tendo residence," Kasumi corrected with a smile. "but the Saotomes are currently staying with us." She then looked around the man and found a small boy and a teenage girl standing behind him. The boy she wasn't sure about, but a teenage girl with dark pink hair and a grin the size of Tokyo could only mean one thing… "Oh my, another fiancée?" Ranma heard the words from the table and groaned while Akane practically burned him down with a glare. Nabiki and Soun, however instantly turned to on Genma, who was unsuccessfully trying to look like an innocent panda.

Doctor Kyuusaku Natsume blinked. "As a matter of fact…**"**Kasumi nodded and led them in as if it were an everyday fact of life, which it was. Another fiancée in Ranma's life was as natural as the dawn of a new day to the residents of the Tendo Dojo. At least this particular fiancée appeared to have some sort of modesty. After all, most of his fiancées seemed to arrive in various states of undress, not conservative school uniforms.

"Ranma, there's a new fiancée here to see you." The trio stopped short behind Kasumi and Ranma sighed standing up from the table. He cast his own withering sidelong glance at the panda before turning back to their new guests.

"Alright, what'd he sell me for this time?"

The mangled cigarette in the doctor's mouth twitched slightly. The fact that Nuku Nuku would be a "new" fiancée wasn't lost on him. Still, it hardly mattered. This would be an excellent social experience for the android designated NK1124, which was the entire point of the engagement to begin with. "Hmmm, if I recall correctly… Wait, let me check." Kyuusaku dug a folded piece of paper from the lab coat and stared at it. "Ah! I cleared his bar tab for the engagement to one Ranma Saotome. Is that you?"

Ranma stared at the doctor, then the smiling girl who was practically jumping out of her skin. The boy at the doctor's side simply watched with wide-eyed curiosity as the events around him continued to unfold. His eyes flicked back to the girl. There was something vaguely disquieting about her. "Yeah, it's me." He took the contract and studied it for a bit before handing it off to Nabiki.

The middle Tendo studied it herself and nodded. "Yep. It's legit." As if that was her cue, the new fiancée in question squealed in delight as she bounced past her father and pounced onto Ranma with glee.

"Yay! Nuku Nuku has husband now!_ Reow!_" Nuku pinned her husband to be onto the floor and gave him a lick on the cheek. Now up close and personal, Ranma stared into her eyes and it all snapped into place.

"Cu-Cu-Cu-…" Ranma studdered as Nuku Nuku's smile widened, revealing a cute pair of fangs. For Ranma, they were far from cute. They merely severed to complete the illusion he was absolutely terrified of. "Cu… CAAAAAAaaaaATTTT!" Ranma squirmed in an attempt to break free of the girl, which took some effort as she weighed several times his body mass. Free himself he did and the chase was on, Ranma bolting out of the house with a super-powered android cat girl in hot pursuit. She was more than happy to oblige her new husband, who obviously enjoyed his playtime as much as she did. There was a dull crash from outside the house and the Tendo's winced. More property damage. More fiancées. What else could go wrong?

They really shouldn't have asked.

* * *

It was one of Ranma's worst nightmares come to life. Somehow he had avoided falling into the influence of the Neko Ken; only barely and only because a new nightmare came to take its place. Ranma eyes flicked around nervously. It was one of the more worst-case scenarios he could have possibly imagine.

He was surrounded.

That in itself was nothing to a martial artist of his caliber. He had been surrounded by ninja, phoenix people, demons and the like. That wouldn't come close to shaking his ever-present confidence. But the current situation had. Badly. To his left stood the Okanomiyaki Master herself, combat spatula at the ready. To his right, one purple haired Chinese Amazon, heiress to the Joketsuzoku Amazon tribe and part time cat. Ranma shivered involuntarily. In front of him was Akane Tendo, who like the other girls, just happened to track him down at the most inopportune moment. Ranma had an answer for that little bit of coincidence.

_Pluto._

Behind him was the newest fiancée, the pink haired cat girl that not only reminded him of a feline, but of an Amazon as well with her simplistic command of the Japanese language and pinkish hair. A very, _very_ bad combination. To round it all off, Kodachi was balanced lightly on the rooftop above him in her rose embroidered leotard, gymnastics ribbon floating lightly in evening breeze. Akane was there to exact retribution for his two timing perverted ways. Shampoo was there to claim the fiancée rightfully hers by Amazon law. Kodachi stood by as the only women regal enough to claim the Soatome's heart. Nuku Nuku was absolutely sure this one was hers because he even reminded her of a cat, while Ukyo was on scene because of her childhood friend and fiancée to be. Of course, they all had one thing in common besides Ranma… _Genma _Saotome. Well, not Kodachi. She was just plain insane. The pigtailed martial artists made it a mental note to put his father on the list right behind Setsuna Meiou… That is if he ever got out of the situation alive.

He couldn't have known that Sailor Pluto picked this new fiancée for a specific reason. Sure, she was a new fiancée, which would stir the pot even more. Yes, there was the fact that she had the brain of a cat and would terrify Ranma to no end. But that wasn't the entire reason she went with Atsuko Natsume as Ranma's newest torment. Being a cat-girl didn't make her special. After all, Japan was full of them, and Setsuna loved to deal in subtleties. In fact, one of those subtleties was less than five minutes out from his present location.

"I've aquired the target!" Kyouko confirmed from her tactical position behind the pilot. "This is Poison Eight, requesting attack clearance!" The blonde flipped a few switched on control board in front of her, anticipating the answer.

A feminine voice laced with steel crackled across the open channel. "Is Ryu-chan nearby?"

"Negative!" Poison Eight's weapon's officer returned with certainty.

"Then eliminate the NK 1124 with extreme predjudice!" her boss's voice was practically shrill now.

A sadistic grin slipped across the pilots face. "With pleasure, boss! Going weapons hot!" Not that Arisa would have needed attack clearance to loose copious amounts of high explosive ordinance, Kyouko noted as the brown haired pilot flipped her visor down in anticipation. Still, it was always better to have the approval on record for both their sakes. And careers.

Arisa shoved the throttle forward into the stops and cackled manically as the fresh-off-the-line Poison Eight shot through the night sky, descending onto its target. The gunship was the newest in Mishima Heavy Industries line of Close Air Support attack aircraft. Held aloft by twin turbofan propulsion, the Poison line had the distinct honor of having racked up more combat hours than any other production aircraft built by Mishima, despite the fact that it had never seen either mass production or a major conflict. It was also a dubious honor that prototypes one through seven had been destroyed in the care of corporate officers Arisa and Kyouko while trying to neutralize the android designated NK 1124. Suffice to say, Arisa's bloodthirsty tendencies concerning her target had been honed to a fine edge.

Poison Eight had seen numerous enhancements since the mark one originally rolled off the line, and its repeated losses to the android girl had taught Mishima's engineers a thing or two. Eight's primary armament had been upgraded significantly, opting for thirty decawatt plasma cannon instead of the traditional twenty millimeter gatling gun mounted under the nose. The designers figured that after watching the 1124's damage absorption abilities, they needed something that ensured whatever got hit stayed down. Sure, it didn't have the rate of fire the gatling gun had, but it was sledgehammer to be sure. Likewise, every missile on the craft had been swapped out in favor of guided fragmenting warheads, as direct hits with the armor piercing types had proven impossible against such a nimble target. The logic was simple enough—carpet an area with the new AX-15s and whatever you were trying to hit was bound to come out peppered with fragmentation damage, hopefully slowing it down enough to get in a few good shots with the plasma cannon.

None of this really mattered to Arisa as she thumbed the orange guard that protected the trigger on her flight stick. She was now one with Poison Eight and it was time for some long, _long_ overdue payback. "Multiple targets detected!" the blond called out as her scope lit up with new energy readings. The pilot hesitate a moment, finger caressing the weapons release trigger. "Six new signatures, one has a power level as high as Kyusakuu's android!"

"Another damn robot!" Arisa snarled and thumbed the weapons select button over to the AX-15s. Her battle cry roared through the cockpit.

"_No survivors!"

* * *

_

Nuku Nuku heard it first, a dull thumping that echoed through the night sky. Ranma hear it next while the remaining fiancées remained oblivious in their standoff. He turned to find Nuku no longer focused on him but at some point in the distance. For her part, her cybernetically assisted cat brain knew exactly what it was and she took up an attack stance to counter the threat. Ranma, however, was at a loss. First, she was a cat girl, the stuff of nightmares. Second she was reacting to a threat, no longer paying attention to the escalation of fiancées. He hated cats with a passion and fiancées were a pain, but through the panic churning within he knew that even his cat-self intrinsically knew good from evil, even if he wasn't all their in thehead at the time. Ranma's 20/20 vision picked out the spec in the night sky, identifying it as some sort of high tech aircraft.

The argument continued around him and the aircraft drew closer. There was no mistaking where it was heading either. Nuku tensed and puffs of smoke began pouring from the approaching gunship. Ranma wasn't the most technologically savvy, nor was he up to date on the latest military hardware, so the term "guided missile" meant absolutely nothing to him. The fact that there were now multiple high-speed projectiles inbound for there position was not lost on him however, and it didn't take a genius to imagine their effects. Nuku Nuku certainly wasn't a genius, a fact that bode well for the Saotome's own mental process concerning the inbound ordinance.

"_Moko Takabisha!"_

The feuding fiancées about fell over as the first ki bolt roared out and Nuku Nuku was already airborne and out fifty feet, landing lightly on one of the streaking missiles before hoping onto the next one down the line as if they were stepping stones to the new threat. Each hop strategically knocked a missile off course, sending it harmlessly into a field or abandoned building. Another ki-shot blasted out, vaporizing any missile the cat girl had missed on her way to the gunship. Even as panicked as the fiancées were by the sudden activity, it didn't match what was going on in the cockpit of Poison Eight at that exact same moment.

"_Anti-aircraft fire, break right!"_ The blond screamed and her pilot yanked the stick all the way over as two bright blue balls of energy streaked by. Kyouko was expecting a lot of things from this particular mission. Property damage? Sure. A busted up Poison Close Air Support gunship? Probably. An angry cat-girl android? Definitely. But the last thing she was expecting was to actually have to power up the Poison's state of the art electronic countermeasures array to evade incoming fire. "ECM online! Popping chaff and flares!"

Arisa cursed profusely as she yanked the stick back, lining the nose up for another shot. As if the super-powered 1124 wasn't bad enough, that damn scientist was now equipping his androids with anti-aircraft weaponry! What was all that crap he spewed about not creating a war machine, then? The heads up display began to sync up for a lock on the anti-aircraft battery when a massive thud shook the craft

_THWaaM!_

"Are we hit!" Kyouko squeeled then turned to see what Arisa was already seeing—one highly annoyed cat-girl clad in a school uniform, plastered against the canopy bubble. The deja'vu of the situation didn't go unnoticed by either corporate officer. Nuku Nuku apparently didn't notice as she began to head-butt the bulletproof glass, creating a sizable crack on her second attempt. Nuku Nuku reared her head back for a third strike when an even larger crash shook the gunship. Arisa turned just in time to see a blue arc lance through turbofan number two, shredding half the nacelle and destroying its ability to generate lift. Arisa's copilot saw it as a mixed blessing. On one hand, the shock knocked the cat girl off their nose. On the other hand… "Losing power to number two! _We're on fire!"_

Ranma Saotome stared at his handiwork as the aircraft burst into flames. He hadn't actually meant to hit the damn thing, but then it _was_ directly in line with the missiles. He was just wondering where the cat girl went when she fell from her ballistic arc and landed hard, skidding across the open ground, between the fiancees and strait into him where her mass carried them fifty more feet before being rudely stopped by an apartment building wall. Nuku Nuku shook the rubble off her and stared at her new fiancée, who was also recovering from the shock. He had caught her! What a nice husband!

"Reow!" She twiddled with delight and crushed her fiancée in a hug. Between a new fiancée, a fiancée cat-girl, the fiancée wars and a hostile aircraft, Ranma finally snapped as said cat-girl applied her entire body to the martial artist, purring in the process.

The fiancées had recovered enough of their wits to tear themselves away from the flaming gunship to the trench created by Ranma and Nuku, following it back to the pair. Needless to say, none of them were too pleased by what they found. Akane gaped, finding the newest fiancée hanging all over _her_ fiancée. "What the hell do you think you're doing with her, Ranma?" The answer was unexpected.

_"ReeeeeewwwOOOOOWWWWW…."_

It was a testament to Arisa skills as a test pilot that she was able to put Poison Eight down in one piece, tearing up a Nerima street and several cars in the process. With Kyouko having cut off fuel to fan number two, the flaming pylon had been reduced to an angry smolder by the time the gunship had skidded to a full and complete stop. She unbuckled her safety harness, only to find Arisa already up and out of the grounded aircraft.

"Damn androids ruined ANOTHER gunship!" She fumed, wrenching a latch and tearing open the cargo door. She began to pull pieces of composite armor that vaguely resembled body parts out of the hold. "I will NOT have another one these come out of _my_ paycheck, dammit!" She came back into Kyouko's view wearing full power armor, mounting wrist plasma devices, point defense weaponry on the shoulders and blisters of mini missiles straddling her ribs and thighs. All and all, the seven foot tall crimson red suit was quite an intimidating sight…

…Almost as intimidating as the one slinking into a crouch twenty feet from her. Neko Ranma's eyes glittered as he stalked forward on light feet, eager to test out the new toy in front of him. What else could it be? It certainly wasn't human or something that Ranma's cat brain classified as a friend. It looked too crunchy to be food, which left only a few options open as to its classification. Arisa gave the command and the suit unfolded its full arsenal of weaponry. She watched as her heads up display placed a red glowing ring around Ranma and locked on. The woman was just about to unlock the safeties when a pink blur flipped through the air, landing beside the crouching boy. Neko-Ranma noted his feline friend's displeasure with the toy in front of him and decided to adopt that displeasure as his own.

Despite the climate controlled power armor, Arisa couldn't help but to sweat as foot long glowing talons suddenly sprang into existence along the android boy's hands, while his face took on a countenance similar to that of their original target. She now had two very pissed androids facing her… One was insanely strong while the other was apparently quite well armed… And she only had one suit of armor to go around. Arisa looked at the irritated expressions on both cat-androids and nearly cried.

There'd be nothing left of her paycheck by the time tomorrow morning rolled around.

* * *

Ranma Saotome stumbled down from the guest room as the dawn's early light filtered through the Tendo household. He rubbed his temples as his head throbbed, and he silently wondered how big of a truck hit him and how fast it was going. He slowly made his way into the living room, guided only by the smell of breakfast. The martial artists finally looked up to find his newest fiancée helping Kasumi set the table.

Nuku Nuku noticed him and broke out into a wide smile. "Good morning Ranma-san!" she cheered brightly and most last night's adventure came to the forefront of his memory. He shivered. Not that he remembered anything after the Neko-Ken, but he distinctly remembered hitting the attacking aircraft. And Nuku in his arms. After that…?

He was about to sit at the table when he noticed Akane's wide eyed stare. "What?" She remained silent, staring. It was enough to make him temporarily forget that there was a cat girl across the table from him scooping double helpings of breakfast onto his plate.

Nabiki chuckled and his head swiveled onto her. "She's just recalling the how you carved up a suit of Mishima Heavy Industries Mk 308 power armor... In addition to one of their elite gunships."

"You SAW that?" Ranma asked in disbelief.

"Of course." Nabiki confirmed with a smile. "Got it all on tape, too. I could let you watch the parts you missed for a two thousand yen."

"Ranma-san make an excellent husband!" Nuku Nuku piped cheerfully, recalling the incident clearly. Not only was he a cat, he was undoubtedly an Alpha male. In short, her feline brain categorized him as the perfect mate. That statement was enough to snap Akane out of her stupor and favor her fiancé with yet another smoldering stare. Ranma didn't even notice as he shook his head in incredulity. The entire situation had gone from annoying to insane. Fiancees were bad enough. One that turned into a cat with a curse was a travesty, but a manageable travesty. One that was a super strong cat-girl all the time… He shivered again as Nuku Nuku favored him with a fanged grin. Funny how the panda was nowhere to be found this morning. He REALLY needed a punching bag today. Ranma noticed the double helping of food on his plate and produced a weak smile for the cat girl, whose own smile turned positively incandescent.

Denied his normal outlet of aggression when faced with the weird and bizarre situations created by his father, Ranma turned to the only thing he had left… Planning his next move against Setsuna. She was _so_ going to pay.

* * *

Ranma crouched on the rooftop and extended his ki sense for a couple of miles, finally confident that he had shaken off all pursuit. The normal fiancées had been easy. Shampoo was a bit tougher with her tracking experience. Ditching Nuku Nuku was positively a nightmare without the Umi-sen-ken, and he didn't want to use it while there was the possibility that The Meddler could monitor him or his friends, as it was truly his ace in the hole. Through careful experimentation, it was becoming increasingly obvious that that the Senshi of Time couldn't track his movements directly and had to resort to monitoring the people around him to discover his activities. Once he was alone, he could do damn near anything he wanted without her knowledge. Sure she knew he was up to something. After all, if finding a few thousand roaches in your own bedroom didn't tip you off, nothing would. But knowing something was up and doing something about it were two different things. Unless she wanted to force a direct confrontation- which would suit him just fine –she would just have to remain in the dark until he made his move.

He also had a sneaking suspicion that she had no knowledge of his girl type, which gave him a supreme, if unwelcome tactical advantage. Ranma wasn't sure exactly why. Maybe it was because he had played Ranko Tendo so many times as to be overlooked. Maybe it was because of the magic imbedded within the curse. Maybe she just hadn't put two and two together like so many other people in his life. Whatever the reason, it was leverage he couldn't pass up, if only because he was at his wits end concerning her activities in his life. At this point, he would take any and every advantage to convince Pluto to stay off his back, even if it meant time in his female form.

Regardless, he couldn't afford "maybe's" or "probably's" if his next offensive measure was to succeed. He had to know for sure and that's why he was on this rooftop at this very moment. Ranma pulled out a small canteen from weapon space and unscrewed the cap.

It was game time.

* * *

The Senshi of Time was in a good mood. For one, Crystal Tokyo was holding at a probability of ninety-seven point one percent, the highest she'd achieved in several hundred years. Second, her plans to further complicate Ranma's life were a complete success. Not that she was done by a long shot, just that she loved it when a plan came together. This plan had been especially enjoyable, however. Setsuna Meiou handed a few bills to the grocery store clerk and collected her bags as she doled back her change. Not only was Ranma now saddled with a nuisance and phobia, he _also_ had the entire resources of Mishima Heavy Industries directed against him as well, thinking he was Doctor Natsume's next generation humanoid cat robot after Nuku Nuku. Setsuna couldn't help but to snort with laughter as she exited the grocery store, bags in hand. The entire situation was priceless. She hadn't had this sort of fun in at least a century.

She stepped out onto the sidewalk. Had she been paying a bit more attention, she might have not walked into the path of a fellow pedestrian, promptly causing the pair to collide with one another. Setsuna managed to retain her balance though she lost her grip on a bag. The girl she had run into wasn't quite so lucky, finding herself deposited butt first onto the pavement.

"Ow!" the girl exclaimed then looked up into the green haired woman above her. "OH! I'm sososososo sorry!" She scrambled to her feet and retrieved the Senshi's lost bag of food. "Oh my! I hope I didn't break anything!"

The Senshi couldn't help but to smile at the redhead's gushing. "I'm sure everything is okay. Speaking of which, are YOU okay?"

"Mmm, I think so." The redhead answered somewhat indecisively. "Yeah. I'm okay!" She looked as if she were about to say something else but then her eyes widened. "Oh no! I'm late!" With that, she gave a curt bow to the green haired lady and ran off around the corner.

Setsuna couldn't help but to chuckle. The bubblehead would be lucky if she didn't run down five more people getting to wherever she was going to.

* * *

Ranma watched the Senshi of Time continue on her way from her rooftop perch, all but invisible courtesy of the sealedUmi-sen-ken technique. She watched until she was out of site, observing her every movement and body language. Everything she saw from the encounter up to now led her to one decisive conclusion… Setsuna Meiou didn't have a clue as to who she had just run into. Ranma grinned ferally. With that confirmed and Pluto having vacated the area, Ranma emerged from the cloaking technique and hopped down to the street below, picking out a nearby tailor.

The woman at the counter was about forty and the portly sort, one Ranma could easily associated as being the motherly type. The seamstress adjusted her thick glasses and smiled at her new customer. "What can I do for you, Miss?"

Ranma smiled, switching back to full bubblehead mode and laid a magazine out on the woman's counter. I need you to make one of these for me."

The seamstress blinked, then smiled. "The full costume?" Ranma nodded, maintaining her own smile. "You _do_ know you can go to any store and pick up one of these at a much cheaper rate then I'll have to charge you…?"

The redhead in front of her nodded. "I know, but I need something that looks _absolutely_ authentic and you came highly recommended." As if to underscore her point, Ranma pulled out a sizable wad of cash. Highly recommended by a certain Tendo, who also happened to be her source of funds. Better the devil you know, Ranma snorted mentally.

The woman nodded. "Quite a bit of money for cosplay, but I've seen stranger. I'll have the full ensemble ready in about a week, is that acceptable?" The redhead nodded. "Have you decided on a color? If not, I'd say a dark red and white would match your beautiful hair perfectly."

Ranma shrugged. "I've never had much of a fashion sense, so I'll take you word for it." The two worked out a few other minor details concerning the design and Ranma left with a mischievous smile on her face.

One more stop to make.

* * *

Not much happened around the suburb of Nerima at two AM in the morning, which was why the shadowy figure chose that time to penetrate the Chinese sanctuary of the Neko Han Ten. Of course the doors were locked and the noodle restaurant closed, but that served next to no deterrent to the shadow, who easily found a way in, slipping quietly through a back door and into the kitchen. It stalked the premises for a few moments more before a sound stopped it dead in its tracks.

"Ahem." The shadow turned to find an old woman balanced neatly on a staff as gnarled as she was. "Do you really think you could sneak around my home and not be noticed, Son in-law?"

Ranma stepped out of the shadows, producing a thin smile. "Not at all. I was counting on it, in fact." Cologne cocked her head in curiosity. Normally Shampoo's bride to be didn't operate at quite this level of subterfuge. "We need to talk. Privately."

"This isn't private enough?" Cologne was intrigued now. Breaking and entering just to talk to her alone?

The martial artists shook his head. "No. We need to talk somewhere that can't be penetrated by… other methods." Cologne arched and eyebrow in surprise, but nodded knowingly. "Other methods" implied something beyond Nabiki's routine eavesdropping, and the fact that Saotome assumed she had just a safe area… Interesting, indeed.

The Amazon matriarch led him down to the lower level, past several door and over to a plain wooden one. Ranma took careful note of it as it was designed in such a way as not attract undue attention to itself, like a broom or janitorial closet. The two stepped inside and she closed it, first locking the deadbolt, then warding it with a complex series of finger signs. Ranma looked around the bare room, which was furnished only by a simple table and four chairs. The walls, however, were plastered with every imaginable warding seal and the pigtailed boy had no hope of even deciphering a fraction of them.

Cologne set her cane aside and took a chair. Ranma did likewise. "This is as private as I and few other can possibly make it, Son in-law. What is so important that you feel it necessary to break into my home, wake me up at two in the morning and seek the refuge of a room such as this one?" The elder desperately tried to keep her curiosity from cracking the mask of neutrality she now wore. Truth be told, his unusual behavior had it eating her alive.

"Remember the wishing sword?" Cologne nodded. Unlike Nabiki, she failed to voice her opinion on the bungled wish, if only aloud. "I got my wish and found out why my life has been so screwed up."

Cologne's mask faltered ever so slightly. The wish had actually proven… useful? "And what did you find, Son in-law?"

"That there is an unwelcome force meddling with my life and those of my friends. I intend to put a stop to it." Ranma stated evenly and Cologne's mask slipped further, so much so that she abandoned it completely in favor of unbridled curiosity.

"What is this force? And how do you intend to stop it?"

Ranma shook his head. "Right now, the less you know the better. In fact, my biggest advantage at the moment is the total secrecy concerning my actions in the matter."

Cologne frowned. "Then there is little I can do for you Son in-law. If you cannot divulge the length and breadth of your operations concerning an anonymous adversary…"

Ranma nodded with understanding. "Right. No offense, but I'm not here to enlist your help. I'm here to retrieve something of mine."

Cologne stared without comprehension. "And what would that be?"

"The Gekkaja and the Kinjakan." Ranma's reply was totally devoid of emotion and this time Cologne truly faltered, as the severity of the martial artist's plight hit home. She had almost forgotten that the sacred keys were in her possession, but Ranma obviously had not. In fact, it was he that took possession of both staffs after the battle against Saffron. In a rare moment of foresight, he had determined that if Saffron was to be reborn and attempt another ascension to that of full Phoenix Godhood, Ranma would hold the keys to that ascension. If little Saffron failed to meet his expectations of honor and compassion, the deity stood a snowflakes chance in hell to ever attaining his true form. And unlike other mortals, it was a demand he could easily back up. There was virtually no force that the Godling could bring to bear that would stand against Ranma if he were so inclined to deny him his power. The Phoenix People hadn't like his ultimatum one damn bit, but there was also little they could do to stop him.

Indeed, it was a secret honor for Cologne when he remanded the ancient weapon-keys into her custody. His reasoning was simple—His life was simply too chaotic to leave such high-powered weaponry lying around the dojo, especially with so many non-combatants living there. Sure, he and his father were extremely capable martial artists, maybe Soun too in a pinch, but he trusted his father as far as he could throw him, while Nabiki would undoubtedly find their hiding places in no time flat. He'd be lucky if they weren't pawned off within a week of their discovery in either case. So Ranma had entrusted them to the one person he knew who not only could defend them, but was honorable as well, despite their disagreements as to his future bride would be.

And now he was taking them back in response to a mysterious, unseen threat. That alone spoke volumes on so many levels as to what he was facing. First, there was the fact that he was actually willing to take up a weapon against the threat. Second, the weapons he was using could very conceivably take out a god. Third, he was taking _both_ weapons, not simply one. Finally, there was the fact that they were in the very room that would prevent nearly every known form of surveillance, magical and otherwise. In fact the only thing that could possibly scry through the warding she had erected was a full blown god, and Cologne hoped to heaven Ranma wasn't planning on taking out another one. Those sort of actions tended to get one noticed by _all_ the wrong parties.

After that brief period of thought, the Elder nodded grimly and reached into her own weapon space, pulling out a small dagger and a rectangular seal. Like the others, its symbology was completely incomprehensible to Ranma. His eyes widened as she took the dagger to her tumb and slit it, then proceeded to drag the minor wound across the paper itself. The blood soaked in and she chanted something complete intelligible to Ranma. The effect, however, was obvious. The seal glowed briefly, then lit into open flame. Within seconds, there was nothing left but ash. Cologne noticed the shocked expression on the boy's face.

"Think of it as a combination locked weapons space." She explained. "Under the right circumstances, a normal pocket such as the ones Moouse uses can be forced and broken into. They are unlocked doors that can be breached. Not easily mind you, but it isn't total security." Ranma nodded and the elder continued. "This method, however, require the willing life force of the user. There is virtually no method by which it can be forced. Even psychological techniques such as brainwashing are not guaranteed to work."

With that, Cologne reached back into weapon space. "High security, eh?" Ranma commented as she began to draw a thin, silver shaft from thin air.

"Indeed, Son in-law." The Kinjakan was first as she set the large, ring-tipped staff onto the table. The ambient power in the room increased greatly simply through its presence. Ranma traced the silver shaft and Cologne withdrew the crescent bladed Gekkaja, lying it across the Kinjakan. The bent blade of the Gekkaja had annoyed Ranma to no end, so he took it upon himself to bend it _back_ before storing it with Cologne all those months ago. Both stared at the accumulation power now sitting quietly on the table for a moment before Cologne broke the awed silence. "Do you have a place to keep them?"

Ranma nodded and stored the ancient keys into his own weapon space. He addressed Cologne's next question before it was even asked. "I didn't know the technique at the time and I need somewhere safe to store them until I did. You were the best person for the job."

Cologne accepted the explanation and sighed. "I hope you know what you're doing, Son in-law." Ranma stood and walked to the door, breaching their zone of confidentiality with a turn of the handle. The door opened and he produced a cold smile.

"I know exactly what I'm doing. It's payback time."

* * *

**Author's Notes:**  
_I had fun with this chapter as it allowed me to deepen the plot and engage in some foreshadowing, not to mention the insanity that Nuku Nuku will bring to the table. Trust me, the pissing contest is only just getting started. Since it's nearly 7am here, I'll cut right to the notes._

Gekkaja- _The crescent tipped staff of ice Ranma used to help defeat Saffron in book 38. It's primary power it to turn chunks of matter into solid ice. The original condition book 38 leaves this weapon in is with the crescent blade bent at an unnatural 90 degree angle. Ranma had returned it to its original state before storing it with Cologne._

Kinjakan- _The large ring-tipped staff wielded by both Ranma and Saffron, the latter of which uses this weapon against Ranma in book 38. Its primary effects are two fold—First, the ring can be flung at an opponent and will easily carve through dense material, magically returning to the staff. Second, it is the polar opposite of the Gekkaja with the ability to produce mass quantities of fire and heat._

That's all. Hope you liked it and I can't wait to get started on part three.


	3. Chapter 3 v3

**The Best of Times…**  
_By Ozzallos_  
A Fukufics (dotcom) Production

**Part Three**

"**O**h my.."

Never in history had two words been responsible for conveying so much information as when uttered by Kasumi Tendo, matriarch of the Tendo household. For most people, these words were a subdued exclamation of concern. But to the eldest Tendo sister, they were so much more. She was the keeper of those words and they literally held hundreds of meanings. "Oh my" when voiced by Kasumi could mean anything from "Oh my, the cooking needs a dash of salt" to "Oh my, body snatching aliens have just landed in the yard and are about to employ large quantities of anti-matter weaponry to annihilate the last vestiges of human life from the face of the earth…"

No doubt Ranma Saotome would be responsible for the latter one way or the other, but that was beside the point.

The reality of the situation concerning Kasumi and her "Oh my's " was that she was a lot like Lassy, in that only the trained ear could accurately discern her actual meaning. Where as the casual listener might only hear "Woof! Woof!" Kasumi's sisters would hear "Two divisions of mutant aliens have landed at 12403.51 north by 34011.88 east with heavy tacheon cannons and the insatiable need for human flesh, send help!" This particular "Oh my" however, was midrange, falling somewhere between a mild expression of concern and a call to attention. As such, Nabiki, looked up from the tabloid she had been flipping through on the living room couch and Akane Tendo paused in her aerobic dumbbell workout to stare at the TV. Even Ranma paused on his way up to his room in curiosity. Kasumi turned the TV up slightly as she sipped her tea.

"_Tonight's top story is the continuation of Youma attacks centered in the suburb of Tokyo known as Juuban. Reports are still coming in as to the number of injuries, but casualties were once again prevented by the Guardians of Love and Justice, the Sailor Senshi…"_

The scene cut from the news anchor to a video clip of said magical girls in the process of annihilating a particularly rampant youma outbreak centered on a crowded market place. Magical attacks lashed out as the scampering demons where eliminated one by one before they could cause too much damage. "Too much damage" was, of course, a relative term when concerning the Senshi given the destructive nature of their intervention, but the cure was normally more acceptable than the disease itself… Which just happened to be unidentifiable demonic aliens that stole peoples souls and rend them limb from limb.

Kasumi sighed. "Maybe I'll be able to get Sailor Moon's autograph one of these days." Akane smirked. Kasumi was a closet Senshi addict with a dresser nearly filled with every publication concerning the heroines of Love and Justice.

"I don't see what's so special about Moon," Akane commented, gaining Kasumi's attention. "Now if you happen stumble across Sailor Mercury's autograph…" While she wasn't the otaku her sister was, there was just something just plain exciting about transforming into a magical girl and fighting demons… As if getting kidnapped by the villain of the month wasn't enough for her. That, and she felt a certain affinity to the Senshi and her short crop of cobalt blue hair.

"Feh." Ranma sniffed. "Sailor Uranus is the best one of the bunch skill wise."

Nabiki arched an eyebrow with an "Oh?" inviting him to continue. He now had the attention of all three sisters.

"Sure, " Ranma continued, heedless of the darkened waters he was wading into. "I mean, everything I've seen says she's at least a dan in Kempo."

"Hmmm…" Kasumi considered throughtfully. "What about Jupiter-san? She seems to know martial arts, and her Supreme thunder attack is quite formidable.'

Ranma shook his head. "True, but Akane could kick her butt , no problem. Besides, what's a bit of lightening compared to a World Shaker?"

"There's her space sword too…" Akane commented, beaming with pride over the fact that Ranma had classified her skill level as better than that of a Sailor Senshi. With that in mind, Jupiter was obviously _not_ a respectable teenage idol.

"'Cides," Ranma continued in a conspiratorial whisper. "Rumor has it that she and Neptune have a 'thing'"

Kasumi blinked and Akane gasped. "You mean she's… _a Pervert?_" The martial artist nodded.

"Oh my." Kasumi blinked again. "Where did you hear this, Ranma-kun?"

He shrugged. "It was an article in last week's 'Tokyo Candy Teen'." Conversation stopped and an uneasy silence hung in the air as three sisters stared at Akane's fiancée and future brother in law. Ranma's eyes flicked from one sister to the next as he began to comprehend the grievous fax pause he had just committed. "…Not that I'd _know_ anything about stupid magical girls."

"Or teen girls magazines?" Nabiki pointed out helpfully.

"Er… Yeah. Those too." Ranma's face was now glowing red from embarrassment. Akane's mouth was hanging wide open at the prospect of Ranma, manly-man martial artist, being a Sailor Senshi otaku as big as her sister _and_ collecting teen girl tabloids. Either way, it spelled "Pervert' with a capital 'P'.

Kasumi considered the boy in front of her thoughtfully. "Would you mind if I borrowed that issue, Ranma-kun?"

Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything goes School of Martial Arts twitched. Violently. "Oh, look at the time! Gotta go!"

Nabiki could only grin as the pigtailed boy existed the house post haste. Ah, it's the simple pleasures in life…

* * *

Ranma blew through another kata on a hillside some distance away from his usual stomping grounds. The purpose was two fold, in reality-- First, it provided and outlet for the terminal case of embarrassment he had just suffered only an hour ago. Second, he needed the practice. The martial artist flipped around and the cresent blade of the Gekkaja cut through the air. In the opposite hand was the Kinjakan, its lethal ring tip flashing in the sunlight as he snapped it toward a boulder. The ring sliced through the air, missed the boulder and behead several trees before returning to it station on the staff tip with a snap. 

Damn.

The martial artist sighed. He was definitely going to have to put in overtime if he was going to be able to competently wield both staves simuaneously. Using one at a time would undoubtably be easier, he realized, but the potential both held when used in tandem was simply to great to ignore. In his hands he held the powers of fire and ice, two elements with which he had been well schooled in over the past two and a half years. The potential these two weapons held alone was enormous, but if he could build a style that used them together… Be that as it may, it wasn't the primary reason he had pulled the staves out of storage. His plan concerning the Pluto was simple—Infiltrate the Sailor Senshi and cause her grief to no end until she either confront him or backed off. For that, his girl-type needed a costume. Ranma Saotome really wasn't looking forward to that particular aspect of his plan, but posing as a female Senshi constituted a formidable tactical advantage that he simply couldn't pass up, especially when he could do so without The Meddler's knowledge.

As horrid as it was, the costume was the easy part, but she also needed a prop to go with it. Every magical girl carried around a magical weapon, and for the deception to work, he'd have to as well. Or she'd have to, rather. He'd already considered buying a length of iron piping, spray painting it and call it a magical staff, but decided against the idea. No, Ranma needed the real thing, or at least something similar. Saffron's Keys of Ascention were the only things he had that would even come close to fitting the bill, and the only question now would be which one would he choose? Either way, he'd keep practicing the dual wield method. Maybe whip both out in an emergency… Or to lay some smackdown on a certain green-haired Senshi if it came to that.

Ranma launched into another kata, attempting to refine his flowing ring striking technique when the decision of which staff to use was made for him. Ranma flicked the Kinjakan outward and the ring whistled away at high speed, carving a piece out of the targeted boulder with something less than a direct hit. Even as Ranma tumbled, slicing forward with the Gekkaja, the ring arced on back to its owner. His arms crossed in a final lunge forward and the ring snapped back into place as both staves now pointed off to his sides, poised to cleave the rock directly in front of the pigtailed boy. Ranma powered up with determination, preparing to obliterate the offending boulder when it happened-- Something in both staves felt the power and one recognized the other through the link that was Ranma's ki. The keys were the polar opposites to one another, yet less than a handful of people in existance knew their true form. The keys activated and Ranma 's cross-cleave was superceded as the staves pulled toward one another. His eyes widened as the power coursed through him and between the weapons, while it was all he could do to follow through with the chop and keep the ends from joining. The attraction was too great and Ranma 's cross-grip failed to keep the staves from snapping together in a blinding flash that sent him tumbling off balance. The martial artist pushed himself back off the ground and waited for his vision to clear. What he found in his hands after it did, however, defied belief.

The staves plural were no more. In their place was a meter long silver staff with elements of each key imbedded at either end. On one end sat the Kinjakan's lethal ring.. At the other was the Gekkaja's crescent blade. Ranma cocked his head, considering the transformed weapon resting in his hands. Now THIS is more like it, Ranma thought and twirled the staff easily. He set up for another kata, determined to carve up the countryside with his new toy.

* * *

It was late in the day when Ranma finally stumbled through the door. The groan that escaped his lips ensured all eyes were riveted to his person. It helped that his clothing was in complete shambles. 

"What the hell happened to you, boy?" Genma asked as he watched his son trudged by.

"New technique." The boy in question winced, pausing before the family. Akane _was_ thinking about malleting him for being a Senshi Otaku girlie Magazine loving freak, but noticed _that_ particular job had already been self-inflicted.

"Some move," She snorted, observing the numerous cuts and lacerations across her fiancee's body. "Remind me _not_ to learn that one."

Ranma favored her with a dry look and turned to trudge up stairs when a slight cough caused him to pause once more. "Ranma-kun, I was wondering if I could also borrow issue #132 of 'Sakura Go! Now!'?"

Akane twitched, a scowl spreading across her face. Genma's eyes narrowed onto him sharply. "What's this, Boy?"

Ranma's eyes widened suddenly as he focused on the eldest Tendo sister. "Um, Kasumi…?"

""I must say, your Senshi collection is almost as big as mine." Kasumi mentioned with an oblivious smile. "We might have to start trading off."

"How did you…?"

"Cleaning your room." She replied happily. Truth be told, she had to engaged in some 'deep' cleaning in order to find out where he was storing his collection and just how big it actually was. Kasumi was pleasantly surprised by her find.

"As in the _Sailor_ Senshi?" His father growled, and took a step forward. Nodoka pursed her lips thoughtfully, trying to decide whether his Senshi obsession was good in the fact that he was attracted to the harem of magical girls or bad as pertaining to his concering purchase of teen girls publications.

Ranma hung his head, now thoroughly depressed. "Sure. Why not. After my bath." Kasumi nodded and he struggled to ignore the remaining family's staring as he walked up stairs, sliding open the guest room door. He took a step in and froze, locking onto the dozens upon dozens of glittering eyes.

"Meow."

_"AHHHHARAaaaAAARR!" _Ranma scampered back as a small black and white cat hopped forward from the masses, eager to make his acquaintance. The pigtailed boy hit the wall and began to run down the hall where Nuku Nuku had just stepped out of the bathroom in little more than a towel, curious as to the sudden commotion. Her face lit up in a smile as she saw Ranma practically leaping towards her, the towel falling away as she reached out to embrace him "Husband Ranma-kun!" He plowed strait into the cat girl, knocking her nude body over and landing both in a very compromising position, where upon the remaining contingent of cats poured out of the room and swarmed over the pair.

"GET EM OFF! GET EM OFF! CAAAaaaAAAATTTSSS!"

* * *

Half a dimension away, Setsuno Meiou was laughing hysterically as the scene played out in front of her. The cats alone were great, but even she couldn't have planned him running strait into the nude cat-girl! The Guardian of Time broke out into another roun fit of laughter, clutching her side in pain. 

God, payback wasn't simply a bitch, it was therapeutic as well!

* * *

"Home plate, this is Outfield… We have the target." 

"Roger Outfield," Kyouko keyed the mic in response. "Which one is it?"

"Both. Awaiting instructions." Officer Kyouko considered the reply carefully. Teams two and five were in position, but she had only been expecting the new type android, not pink-haired one as well.

"Alright," she decided. "Team one, move to five's flank for fire support." The blonde switched channels. "Ready Ris-chan?"

Two blocks away, Arisa steadied the fifty caliber anti-vehical sniper rifle along the rooftop ledge. The salary woman squinted through the scope, focusing its crosshairs down on the pigtailed android walking along a fence top. Below him was a girl with shorter, cobalt blue hair and beside her, the NK 1124, otherwise known as Nuku Nuku. She tilted the rifle slightly and the crosshairs now came to rest on Nuku. Choices, choices… "Ready Sa-chan."

There was a slight pause over the com. "Remember, incapacitate only… NO headshots."

Arisa grumbled and nudged the crosshairs off the cat-girl's head. "Fine, fine! Ruin my fun…"

Back in the nondescript plain white van sitting just outside Fruikan High, Kyouko keyed the general channel once more. "All units, go, no go?"

"Armor one, go."

"Armor two, go."

"Heavy weapons five, go."

"Sniper, go."

Kyouko nodded, glancing at a tech manning the console beside her. He gave her the thumbs up and she smiled. "Fire teams, lock and load."

* * *

"Relinquish thy hold on the pigtailed goddess, evil sorcerer!" Tatewake Kuno demanded of Ranma with the point of his bokken. 

"Look, baka, I've had a super bad weekend, so why don't you—"

"What's this!" The upper classman interrupted and rushed to the girl at Ranma's side. "How has thee been so blessed as to perceive the visage of a pink haired Goddess! What is your given name, fair maiden?"

Ranma rolled his eyes and the girl flashed a look of uncertainty. "Nuku Nuku?"

"AH!" The deranged student exclaimed. "I shall date thee, my pink goddess!" Ranma bit his retort back. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all. The less time spent around cat girl, the better, and Kuno would surely occupy—

"No."

Ranma and Kuno's head rolled on a swivel to face the girl in question. "No?"

"I date my husband, Ranma!" She chirped happily. Ranma's twitch like reflexes around cat-grils were not fast enough to compensate for the _robotic_ cat-girl's glomp. He ground his teeth together, biting back the fear.

"HUSBAND?" Kuno raged. "Is there no end to your wickedness, Saotome!" The body of students around them rippled in agreement and the hentai horde stepped forward menacingly. Normally the mob wouldn't think to challenge Nerima's premier martial artist, but one can only take the usurping of so many beautiful women from their ranks. "I shall NOT allow this, Fien--!"

_BOOOOoooMMM!_

The far wall disintegrated in a massive fireball, and three suits of red power armor stepped through the smoldering ruins. "Not again…" Ranma groused as all eyes turned on the newcomers. If those corporate freaks- and Setsuna by proxy -kept this up, they'd drive him insane. Or… Ranma's thought process cut into overdrive. "You got it wrong, Kuno!" The upperclassman tore his attention away from the advancing suits. "I'm trying to protect her… From THOSE GUYS!"

Kuno blinked. "Verily…? What foul designs have they upon my pink goddess?"

"They uh…" Ranma stumbled through the explanation, making it up as he went. "They plan to, um, clone her and use her to pilot a, um, a giant robot against hideous super-powered monsters! She'll be a slave!"

"No…!"

"Yes! And if she's killed, they'll simply clone her again…" Ranma sure hoped his look of mock horror did the trick. He needn't have worried.

"…Thereby sentencing the fair pink-haired maiden to a life of un-death and servitude!" Kuno finished, fire flashing in his eyes. He strode to the front of the horde, pointing his sword high. "I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS!"

Akane, Nabiki and Ranma stared at one another in total disbelief, the same thought running through their brains simultaneously: "Oh my God, I can't believe he actually fell for that."

"Your trespasses shall not stand, foul mechanized demons!" Kuno fumed and took an attack stance. The horde stood at the ready, tennis rackets, hockey sticks, baseball bats and other assorted sports equipment in hand. "Furikan shall not abide by your presence! **_CHARGE!"_**

Ranma's mouth fell open. He wasn't alone as the Tendo's witnessed what amounted to a good old-fashioned infantry charge against the three suits of power armor. Ranma would have loved to sit and watch the inevitable attrition take place, but soon found his hands full with other matters. Another wall exploded and three more suits appeared out of nowhere, walking towards them. Ranma cracked his knuckles with a smile, and both Akane and Nuku took their own battle stances on his flank.

"Trust me, this'll hurt you more than it will…"

A massive thud shook the ground, interrupting Ranma's monologue. The front gate into the school had just been crushed by a Mishima Heavy Industries Madcat battle mech, which now stepped halfway onto the school grounds. The torso swung around, allowing Ranma and company to clearly see the business ends three pulse lasers hanging from each arm, while two boxes of forty short range missiles rode high upon shoulder mounts. The ground shook once more as the massive construct took another step forward.

"…me?" Ranma sighed and began to seriously reconsider that oath as a martial artist, especially concerning one Sailor Pluto. One of the mech's arms raised to fire and Nuku Nuku was already gone, leaping high into the air and down heavily onto the arm, knocking it's first round of energy fire away. The errant blast torched a portion of the soccer field and Nuku continued her assault on the machine. Ranma shrugged, turning back to the trio of power armor. The first suit raised its own weapon, a wrist mounted particle cannon, and the martial artists blurred in under the arm to unleashing nearly five hundred strikes into it armored midsection in under three seconds. The plating cracked and the suit was blown back and through an undamaged section of wall. Ranma recovered from the strike and a blue glow began to form in his hand. The second suit desperately tried to wheel around, but there was no way he would intercept the attack in time….

* * *

A blonde woman watched her display in shock as suit three from team two suddenly went yellow with damage. The shock deepened as the computer reported the Madcat's left weapons arm critically damaged, followed by several sections of armor. Team one looked to be faring better, but the helmet cam Kyouko pulled up showed them wading through a mob of hostile bodies. Dammit, they shouldn't be encountering this much resistance at a school! 

Kyouko keyed the mic. "Snipers free! Take the androids out!" her command was followed by a sharp crack, shortly followed by another. And another. Five shots later, a giant sweat drop rolled down her head. "I said sniping, not suppression fire!"

Arisa was not a happy camper as she cracked another fifty caliber bullet downrange and into the afterimage of her pigtailed target. _Again._ "WHAT THE HELL?" Nothing should be able to move that damn fast! The rifle clicked empty and she released the clip, slapping another home automatically. She began to line up the mark once more as it wove between the three powered suits that made up Team two. The android's first victim had rejoined the battle, slightly worse for the wear and luckily the odds were still in their fav—Another flash of light and one of the suits was blown into a crater twenty feet away. The smoke cleared and it became evident that either the pilot or his suit were out. Arisa sneered and decided to Nuku was probably the better- read: easier -target. The pink haired robot wasn't much better as it flipped around and over the massive frame of the Madcat, denying it any sort of targeting opportunity against herself or her cohorts. The cat-girl landed on the arm once more and Arisa took her shot. Or shots, rather. All three missed and dug into the weapons arm, which promptly fell to the ground and onto a nondescript white van with a crunch.

"Oh no, I did _not _just do that…"

* * *

An hour later, the grounds had finally gone silent, save the occasional moan of wounded here and there. Ranma gave the suit of power armor at his feet and the occupant inside a kick before turning his attention elsewhere. It had been a true battle royal, he observed, scanning the carnage. He had dispatched two suits of armor himself while the third had strayed too close to Akane. Nearly everything the girl threw at the suit missed, but it only took one hit from the enraged girl to put the thing out of commission. Nuka Nuka had done quite well on her own, severely damaging the giant robot before Ryoga stumbled into the battle, saw Akane in danger and finished the thing off with his Breaking Point technique. 

The Kuno infantry charge didn't fare quite so well, though the Hentai Horde came away victorious none the less. It wasn't the horde's speed or skill that finally won the skirmish, but their staying power. After a few years of being beaten down by Akane Tendo, their 'never say die' attitude finally wore the suits out, completely depleting them of power cells before the last student collapsed.

Their valiant leader was struck down in the first five minutes, however.

The school itself was a disaster area. Any building not reduced to component rumble were undoubtedly on fire or had a large hole in them as the paramedics circled around to treat the wounded. Given the amount of firepower employed by their unknown opponents, casualties were surprisingly nonexistent. This was probably due to the hardened nature of both the structures themselves and the students. Besides, what better place to stage an all out land war then at a school who saw similar events on a regular basis? Any student that couldn't handle the punishment already had the brains or experience to get the hell out of Dodge before everything hit the fan. Word had already spread that The Battle of Kuno had succeeded in putting the school out of commission for at least two months, which was fine with Ranma.

After all, the pigtailed martial artist had things to do, places to go and people to see. _Especially_ people to see.

* * *

The Box. 

The shape was one to be feared as Ranma stared at the object lying on his futon. Truth be told, it wasn't necessarily the box that was to be feared, but what was inside the box. Inside the box was a man's worst nightmare beyond those of feline origin… Femininity. Pure, undistilled feminity in the form of a Sailor Senshi fuku. It was manly kryptonite to be sure, but Ranma had few choices left available at the moment. It was obvious that Pluto was stepping up her operations against him, and at the pace she was setting, Ranma had no doubts that he would go insane inside six months. He took another sweep of the house to make sure everybody had well and truly departed for the beach and tore open the dark pink paper wrapping.

Even as he lifted the top off, Ranma addressed the other issues that would need taken care of, like that of a code name. All the Senshi had a magical girl name, so his alter ego was going to have to have one as well. Not only that, but if he was going to interact with them normally, his girl-type was going to have to need a new name as well. No way would he risk dropping "Ranko" around ol' Pluto either. No reason to give her a link back to the Tendos or potentially jar her memory suddenly. Ranma unfolded the dark red and white fuku from the box and clinically admired the tailoring job. Better that then dwell on the fact that he was about to try the damn thing on, right? Also in the box were white and red trimmed elbow length gloves with almost knee-high boots to match. The final item was a white gold tiara with a polished imitation ruby set in the center. All in all, worth every penny he paid for the outfit… If he were actually _into_ that sort of thing to begin with. As it was, the fact that he was even holding the outfit in his hands was just this side of disturbing, so he rectified that problem with a quick trip to the bathroom and returned as a she. Ranma picked the fuku back up and shook her head. Nope, still disturbing as hell. She really wasn't looking forward to this. Of course, it wouldn't be the first time either. At least this time it would be for the greater good, as opposed to being blackmailed into playing dressup.

Steeling herself, Ranma slipped out of her Chinese silks and into the frilly costume, noting it was a lot like a leotard. Not that the fact made her feel any better, especially when this particular leotard was quite frilly and quite revealing. It was also horribly sad that she knew what a leotard felt like in the first place.The seemstress even had the foresight to build in a bra. _Yay_. She slid the boots on first, then the gloves, noting that it was all horribly tight. Obviously the suits had originally been designed by a child molester or somebody with a similarly perverted hang-up. Lastly came the tiara. Ranma stepped in front of the mirror and blinked.

"Wow... I make this look _good_…" she mumbled and spun around, viewing herself from every angle. The skirt itself was a dark crimson red with the upper body being pure white, while orange bow straddling her breasts. The girl in the mirror still looked too much like Ranma though, so the pigtail had to go. She untied the dragon whisker and her hair floated down to her shoulders, totally altering her appearance. Ranma nodded. That'll do. Now a name to go with the face. Tough one, that. The Senshi had already taken all of the planets and she sure as hell wasn't going to settle for a mere moon…. Hmmm… Sailor Nebula? Nah. Comet? Nope. Meteor? Uh-uh. Dammit… Sailor Sun? Weak. Ranma struck a pose in front of the mirror as she mulled over the question. Something that represents massive, overwhelming power… Sailor Death Star? Ehhh… Overwhelming power… Overwhelming power…

_"Sailor Nova."_

Ranma smiled as she said the name aloud, then pulled the fused Key of Ascension from weapons space so that she could view the entire package. Her mouth hung open slightly. She was an honest to goodness goddamn magical girl! She brought a knuckle to her lips. Now her alter ego would need a name. 'Ranko' was too hot to touch with a ten-foot pole for this operation, so she would need something else. After a few shots in the dark and a magazine later, she pieced together the name Yumei Ikari, if only because she liked how it rolled off the tongue.

Ranma's ki sense pinged and she knew somebody familiar was coming home. Her maximum range was about two miles for general detection, which gave her several minutes before anybody hit the front door. Now the last part—Transforming. She had given the matter considerable thought and there was no way she could duplicate a magical girl transformation outright. Nor would she want to, given their propensity towards gratuitous nudity. But that's where the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts Speed Dressing came into play. When combined with a flash of blinding ki generated light, Ranma was back in her Chinese garb less than two seconds later while the Sailor Nova uniform and Ascension Staff were neatly tucked away in weapons space. The front door clicked open and Ranma knew the Tendo's day at the beach had concluded. Ranma bound her hair with the whisker as footsteps serperated from the downstairs chatter. Ranma poked his head out of his room to see who was coming up stairs.

"Oh hey, Ranma." Nabiki greeted easily and turned toward her room. "Did you hear…" She stopped in front of her door, voice suddenly trailing off. She turned toward the redhead with a queer expression on her face and walked back over, holding out her hand. "Two thousand yen."

Ranma studied the sister for a moment and decided that the expression she wore was so unusual that she had to bite, slapping a couple bills into her hand. Nabiki blinked and reached up to the girl's forehead, pulling off a white gold tiara. Ranma's eyes widened suddenly and she snatched the prop back, stammering desperately.

Nabiki shook her head. "Forget it, Saotome. I really don't even want to know this time." With that, she returned to her room mumbling something to herself.

* * *

"_Burning Mandala!"_

A burning line of flame trailed from Sailor Mars' fingers as she whipped around, creating eight balls of fire that pulsed around her before collapsing into a waiting hand. The energy than condensed, incenerating the wayward youma via magical burning rings of death. Rei Hino allowed herself a slight smile, but the joy was short lived. One down, seven more to go.

"Where the heck did they all come from, Mercury!" Sailor Venus cried out as she was being double teamed by two of the unengaged monstrosities. The orange and white clad blonde called forth her attack, and the glowing chain of hearts tore into one of her opponents. It wasn't a lethal blow, but creature was far less eager to press its advantage in numbers. Like most youma, these vaguely resembled something female, but their appendages seemed to be long and stringy, while their arms ended in sharp, boney sword points. The skin rippled a sickly grayish-pink and what would have been hair jetted along their backs in a spikey mane that was as solid as the bone-tips. Venus' more eager opponent happily rushed in to skewer the Senshi, who hopped back outside engagement range. She whipped the Love Me Chain outward once more and convinced the second beast to give her some breathing room.

The wounded one reconsidered its options and charged, only to be impaled by some Moon Tiara Action courtesy of Sailor Moon. Its victim tumbled to the ground and evaporated on the spot. Venus gave her a nod and re-engaged her second opponent.

Mercury sent a pillar of water crashing into a lone youma and pulled out her link to the Mercury computer. It was good question she decided and began to scan for anything anything unsusal. Beyond the fact that youma were apparently being bred like jackrabbits in this particular area of town, that is. "I've got traces of the porthole they rode in on, but it's too decayed to know where it came from…"

By the time Sailor Mercury looked up from the link, three youma had managed break past Usagi and Minako to close on her position. She frowned. "Uh oh… Um, guys…?"

The attack was simultaneous and she knew there was nowhere near the time needed to power up a Shabon Spray. Mercury prepared to roll away when a flaming incandescent ring whistled out of the blue sky, neatly decapitating all three youma as it continued through a tight arc. "What the…?" That was definitely _not_ a Moon Tiara! Her eyes tracked the disk through the sky and over to a nearby roof top where it was recovered by Sailor…

"Who the heck is that!" Mercury exclaimed at the sight. The other three Senshi disengaged and took a good look at the girl on high, who had just dispatched three youma in a single attack. The stranger then proceed to flip through the air and land lightly next to Inners, who could only stare at the newcomer.

"Su-Su-Sugoi…" Mercury stammered, and for once, Moon was able to produce a more intelligent question than her counterpart.

"Who… Who _are_ you?"

A lopsided grin found its way to the redhead's face. "I'm here to get this party started." Nova twirled the exotic staff expertly in her hand, walking past the group and over to the remaing youma, who were still somewhat stunned that they had lost 1/3rd of their total strength in a single attack. "Who wants some?" The monster's beady little eyes began to flick back and forth. Escape was looking like a mighty good option at the moment. The volatile stellar anomaly got tired of waiting. "You." She pointed the crescent blade at the tallest creature. "_You_ want some."

Before the youma could in some way deny that it wanted _any_, Ranma gave it to her, blurring forward in burst of speed that left an after image in her wake. The Sailors at her back gaped collectively. The crescent imbedded itself into the youma's torso point three seconds later, turning its chest cavity into a solid block of ice. Sailor Nova reversed the staff in distorted arc, cleaving the mass in two with the bladed ring. The ice crumbled and what remained of the youma promply disintegrated, sending its essence back to monster hell. The strike continued into the monster on her right, feed power into the ring and causing it to burst into flames. Two chops later, nothing remained of Nova's victim save a pile of ash.

The third youma actually had the common sense to work on its strategic withdraw, and the new Senshi brought her staff back, ready to introduce it to ringed death. She never got the chance as her target was suddenly interdicted by a sizable amount of firepower. The four Inners cut loose at once, vaporizing it and a large chunk of the realistate the youma had been running across. Sailor Nova blinked at the smoldering crater and shrugged, turning back toward the Senshi.

This time, Mercury had a better handle on what she wanted to ask the new Senshi. "WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?" She blurted and the redhead produced a mischievous smile.

"I'm Sailor Nova. Sorry about this." She answered, and abruptly disappeared before their very eyes.

* * *

**Author's Notes-**  
I'm telling you, this is getting more and more fun to write with each chapter in. it's all I can do to keep from cackling maniacally as I type. Not much here, so strait to the notes. 

Key of Ascension, Ascension Staff, etc- _These are my working names for the fusion that occured between the Kinjakan and Gekkaja, if only because it accurately describes the function of both concerning their late owner, Saffron. This fusion maintains the original abilities of both keys._

**Special Thanks**_ to pretty much anybody in the Fukufics (dotcom) IRC chatroom in the clast 24 hours. I owe 'em for the help with some of the people places and things I was unsure of, as well as inspiration. Thanks, peeps!_

Changes- v2:_ Spelling, grammar. v3: Venus' fuku is ORANGE!  
_


	4. Chapter 4 v3

**The Best of Times...**  
_By Ozzallos_  
A Fukufics (dotcom) Production

* * *

"_**H**ai, they rode in, fifty strong,"_  
"_Nigh, they fought till the last was gone."_  
"_Baseball bats in hand,"_  
"_Hockey Sticks low"_  
"_T'was the brave host"_  
"_Of the Battle of Kuno."_

--The Battle of Kuno, March 5th,1989

* * *

**Part Four **

**"S**ailor _Nova?_" Michiru arched an eyebrow as she repeated the name skeptically. Usagi, Ami, Minako and Rei nodded in unison.

"Don't tell me you actually believe this claim…?" Haruka rolled her eyes, leaning in closer to woman with wavy sea-green hair sitting next to her. "Or don't you remember Sailor Titanium?"

Usagi's face took on a pout. "How were we supposed to know she was just a fan?"

"Oh, let me see…" The dishwater blonde began to tick the facts of life off on her fingers. "She couldn't transform, she didn't have any magical powers, she didn't have a henshin stick and wait, _her magical weapon was a piece of pipe that was spray-painted and sprinkled with glitter!_"

"But she was nice…" The girl alternately known as Sailor Moon shuffled, avoiding eye contact.

"GrrrRRR…." Haruka growled in annoyance. Mercury stepped forward to forestall the potential confrontation building.

"While we didn't get to see her transform or unleash a magical attack herself, I can guarantee you that whatever it is she has for a weapon is _not_ a pipe with glitter." This seemed to gain a fraction more of the pair's attention. "The weapon she dispatched five youma with reeked of elemental magic and the girl herself was lightning fast."

"What did she look like?" Makato asked from her seat on the floor.

"Red shoulder length hair, blue eyes and a crimson-white fuku." Rei supplied. "About my height, in fact."

_"And the weapon?"_

"Eeek!" Usagi squealed with fright from the unexpected voice behind her, leaping halfway across the room in the process. Moon whirled around to confront her tormentor. The woman with long green hair simply favored her with a neutral stare. "DON'T DO THAT!"

Michiru smirked and Setsuna Meiou simply repeated the question as the blonde struggled to keep from hyperventilating "A staff, just over a meter long with a detachable bladed ring on one end and a crescent blade on the other." Ami described the weapon in question and Pluto cocked her head curiously.

"And the elemental magic?"

"Fire and Ice." She replied, wary now that something close to an emotion was playing along the mysterious woman's face.

The crack in Setsuna's armor wasn't lost on her best friend either. "What's wrong, Puu-chan?"

"Just…" She stared at the Chibi Usagi, who stared back with rapt curiosity. She turned back to Ami. "Did you get a picture of it?"

The cobalt blue haired girl smirked. "Better than that." She flipped open the Mercury link and pressed a few keys. Seconds later, a holographic projection of not only the staff, but its wielder sprang to life in mid air. "I was so shocked I didn't get much, but that's her and the weapon." The room's occupants gathered around the hologram, wondering at the image of Sailor Nova frozen in a striking stance with what looked to be one wicked looking staff.

"That's the weapon?" Haruka asked, her previous resentment loosing a bit of its edge.

"I think I'm jealous." Michiru commented. Her envy wasn't necessarily limited to just the staff.

The sharp intake of breath tore their attention away from the image and focused it squarely on Pluto. "Puu-chan?" The tiny pink-haired girl asked tentatively.

Setuna took a moment to collect herself. "If I'm correct, we have just received a substantial boost in firepower." She paused, then in a lower voice, "And I didn't think any of _them_ made it forward…"

"You mean this Nova is _for real?_" The handsomely dressed blond asked, skepticism returning to her voice in full force.

"Quite possibly." Pluto continued. "While her name doesn't ring any bells, that weapon was used _only_ by the Queen's elite guard."

"I thought _we_ were the Queen's guard?" Hotaru asked, no longer content with simply watching this new event unfold around her.

Setsuna nodded. "Today you are, but back in the Silver Millenium, the Queen was protected by a full security contingent. You functioned as her sword, as it were, while the Alpha Guard was her shield. Of course, we can't afford that sort of luxury at present."

"She's my _bodyguard?_" Usagi asked with wide eyes, hardly able to believe that she'd rate personal protection.

"And Small Lady's" Setsuna nodded once more. She glanced at Chibi Usagi, who was now uncharacaristically still, staring at the hologram. "Though to be honest, I'm not sure how our situation is going to alter that arrangement. Like I said, we're stretched pretty thin as it is. We can't exactly afford to tie up somebody with that much firepower on strictly guard detail."

"Exactly how much power are we talking, here?" Rei asked the question that was now on everybody's mind.

"To even be considered for the posting, Alpha Guard candidates had to undergo no less than ten years of intensive combat and survival training. After that, a minimum of three years as a protective detail specialist. After _that_, they had to pass a full battery of loyalty screening reviews." Setsuna outlined. "Even after they have been accepted, the training never stops. Trust me, you do _not_ want to go through even a fraction of that."

"That, I can believe." Usagi stated reverently. "After the five youma…"

"Hmmf." Haruka sniffed. "I've taken out ten in a single attack."

"…Destroying an entire city block in the process." Rei pointed out, earning her a menacing glare.

"You'll have to forgive us if we don't take her qualifications at face value." Michiru stated icely.

"Exactly." Haruka agreed as she cracked her knuckles. "We'll be _more_ than happy to establish her bona fides."

Setsuna's eyes widened as blurry mass suddenly took shape behind the dishwater blonde and her partner, solidifying into a female form that consisted of fiery shoulder length red hair, crystal blue eyes and one mean looking Staff of Ascension.

"_Is that right?"

* * *

_

If there was one unwritten rule of villainy Ranma had noticed over the years, it was that bad guys talked entirely too much. Normally those conversations followed along the lines of some self-absorbed tirade, or what Ranma had come to know as the "Why I became a villain" speech. Usually it was Akane's kidnappers that liberally indulged in this past time, though Kuno- while not a villain per se –was the worst offender. How he could go on about "foul sorcerer" this and "enemy of women" that for a whole hour was beyond the pigtailed boy's comprehension, but that wouldn't stop him from using that time constructively. They all seemed to so enjoy so much that Ranma began to wonder if, in fact, they were contractually obligated to prattle on so.

Apparently, The Meddler had a similarly loose tongue, and Ranma smiled as she listened to the group from the safety of stealth.

Sailor Nova's introduction to the small team of Senshi had been a complete success and Ranma was proud in how her training had paid off in spades. It had taken hours upon hours of practice, but the fruits of her labor resulted in three dead little monster in one shot, while the other two fell pathetically in melee combat. Sufficiently impressed, she decided to play the mysterious magical girl role to the hilt and disappear right in front of them, leaving tons of unanswered questions. It also provided her with the perfect opportunity to gather intelligence as they rushed back to inform the others.

Sailor Nova didn't have to wait long.

It wasn't an hour later that the group had gathered at the Temple with the other Senshi, and in their civilian states no less. At that point, Ranma didn't have a plan beyond playing the mysterious and powerful new Senshi, but then the meeting got started and Pluto began to spill her guts. It had taken aquite a bit of restarint not to wring her neck outright, but somehow she had managed to retain her self control. besides, she was massively outgunned. Sailor Nova took a fresh look at her staff. She had known the thing was old, but _that _old? Granted, it had belonged to a self-proclaimed Phoenix God who had been righteously pissed that he had even _touched_ them, but... Just how long had he had them in his possession? Hell, what the heck was this 'Silver Millennium' crap, anyway?

Nova smiled as Setsuna Meiou literally helped her rewrite the plan. Sailor Nova, an elite reincarnated bodyguard? _Sure she was!_ To the Princess? _Of course, of course_. Just call me Sailor Bad Ass, thankyouverymuch. Not only that, but it was exactly the opening she needed. Who better to cozy up to this Princess than somebody sworn to protect her at all costs? Sailor Nova cast and evil smile toward Setsuna…And to warn you of all threats, foreign _and _domestic.

Nabiki would have been proud.

"You'll have to forgive us if we don't take her qualifications at face value."

So not all the Senshi were oblivious after all, Nova realized, remembering how the other three girls had de-transformed right outside their own apartment. Whatever. Can't expect everything to go smooth as glass. That's when she heard her cue.

"Exactly. We'll be _more_ than happy to establish her bona fides."

Sailor Nova took the opportunity to drop the Umi-Sen-Ken cloak directly behind the two girls and watched the entire room's eyeballs widen to the size of dinner plates. Hikaru and Michiru wondered if they had something on their face for a moment until a voice spoke up behind them.

_"Is that right?"_

"EeeEP!" both Senshi instantly jumped across the room, nearly mowing down the rest of their team in the process. Even through the shock of seeing the new Senshi for the second time that day, Usagi Tsukino knew irony when she saw it and tried to suppress a fit of giggling unsuccessfully.

"WHAT ARE YOU LAGHING AT, MEATBALL HEAD!" Haruka fumed as she picked herself off the floor, thoroughly embarrassed. She couldn't have set the new Senshi up any better if she tried.

"Excuse me, but did you just _insult the Princess?_" The wording was polite, but the redhead's tone had the consistency of liquid helium. She took a step past Usagi, bringing her staff to bear.

Usagi's laughter died as if it were cut down with a chainsaw, her eyes returning to their dinner plate diameter. Her new bodyguard was apparently deadly serious. "Um, you know, it's okay…" Sailor Nova paused in her advance. "I mean, it happens all the time."

"_All the time?_" Nova's tone dropped to absolute zero and Moon instantly realized she had just sentenced Haruka Ten'ou to a painful death.

Uranus was up now, but she was mentally sweating bullets behind that tough-as-nails mask. Not only was Sailor Nova _real_, but she had just located their meeting site, infiltrated the structure, seen their civilian identities and used goddamn _cloaking magic_ to scare the snot out of her and Neptune. She could even feel the power roll off that staff of hers, which most definitely was _not_ a pipe coated with glitter. It took a bit longer than a moment before she gathered enough wits to speak, desperately trying to match the woman's demeanor.

"You don't honestly think we're going to take your claim at face value, do you?" Behind her, Michiru rested a mental finger on the panic button that would transform her to into Sailor Neptune should her partner need backup.

A slight smile crossed the frosty Senshi's features. It held absolutely no emotion. "The only claim I've made is to break every single bone in your body if you insult the Princess _ever_ again." She paused, her face gaining a thoughtful look. "Do you know how many bones are in the human body?" Usagi paled. It was a reaction mirrored by nearly everybody else in the room, save one person.

"HMMffppht…" Moon and Pluto turned their attention to Chibi, who seemed to be convulsing uncontrollably. "BWAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH!" The massive eruption of laughter smashed the tension between Nova and Uranus, and all eyes were now on the small, pink haired lady who was cackling madly. "Oh! Oh! It's too.. too.. BWAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Tears were gushing out of her eyes as she hit the floor rolling. A sweat drop collectively fell from the foreheads of the other room occupants.

"What the…?" Hontaru wondered, leaning down to the girl giggling uncontrollably before them.

Nova stared as well, her opponent completely forgotten. "Um, is she _okay?"_ the pink haired girl's fits of laughter seemed to be subsiding and she opened her eyes. Her gaze fell on Ranma once more and the laughter continued in earnest. "Riiiight." Sensing that she had somehow overstayed her welcome, she turned back to Sailor Uranus. "I'll see _you _later." Then the Senshi reactivated her cloak and was gone.

Pluto sensed the change and found the spot where the new Senshi once stood empty. "Damn!" The curse seemed to help Chibi rein in her convulsions, though looking at her green haired friend produced the exact same result as if she were looking at Sailor Nova herself.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!"

* * *

Setsuna Meiou was thankfully that the bedroom walls were mostly succeeding in drowning out the Small Lady's incessant laughter. In fact, moving to the next room was an absolute necessity since catching sight of the green haired Guardian of Time would repeat the entire process over again; eliminating any chance that something constructive might be accomplished concerning Sailor Nova in Chibi's presence. 

Now on the bed before her sat two cats, one white and one black. Each bore the marking of a yellow half moon on their foreheads, and both the only survivors of the long dead Silver Millennium.

"Anything?"

The white cat cast a slight glance over to the black one at its side, who produced the feline equivalent to a shrug. Having deferred, Artemis spoke first. "There is definitely a high level of magic surrounding her, though it's impossible to tell how much of it is due to the staff."

Setsuna nodded in agreement. "The staff is definitely authentic, and from Ami's description, she knows how to use it."

"Even her mannerisms are what I would expect of the Queen's Own." Luna commented. "Had we been back in the royal court, I would have no doubts that she would follow through with that promise."

"She still might." Artemis quipped, to which the black cat nodded her agreement. "Regardless of the magical background noise from the staff, there's no doubt she's very powerful. Have you considered the time gates to learn more about her?"

Setsuna frowned. "If I remember right, that won't be an option." Both cats looked at her curiously now. "Members of the Alpha were magically sealed to be untraceable and untrackable."

"Makes sense." The black cat concurred. "Wouldn't do to have the Queen herself traceable through the Elite guarding her."

"But the cloaking magic is definitely something I don't recall." the Senshi added. "But then, my memories aren't exactly one hundred percent after I…" her voice trailed off as she remembered the incident in which she did the one thing she was absolutely forbidden to do on pain of death: Bring time to a complete stand still. She had done so and the resulting reincarnation had done wonders for her memory. "Could have been a secret project for all I know." Luna nodded knowingly, as did Aretemis. Both had massive holes in their own memories, a side effect from the stasis and trip forward through time. Likewise, the remained of the Senshi who had been killed during the holocaust itself were still struggling to regain theirs.

Luna looked over at Artemis. "So, does the name Sailor Nova ring any bells?"

"Not a one." He replied, stretching on the bed. "Not that the Alphas were exactly sociable to begin with."

"Looks like we're stuck playing the waiting game then." Setsuna sighed. Like the future sister in-law of a certain pigtailed martial artist, Sailor Pluto was a creature that thrived on information. Depriving her of that sustenance for prolonged periods of time was not only stressful, but akin to psychological torture. Still, that wouldn't stop her from asking Ami to take a crack at it with the Mercury Computer.

"Indeed." Luna agreed. "Speaking of which… What in the _world_ did you do to Small Lady?"

* * *

Dusk was claiming the suburb of Nerima when Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts and _not _somebody who had _anything _to do with the Sailor Senshi stepped through the gates of the Tendo Dojo. The precautions he had taken getting back to this point were enormous, doubling back on himself no less than five times under cloak before finding a vacant alley to change and return to the dojo as a guy. Ranma double-checked himself one more time to ensure that no magical girl gear remained on his person before turning the door handle and stepping back into his old life. 

As he walked into the core of the house, Ranma reflected on his day and considered it nearly a complete success. Well, almost. Except for that last part with the insane pink haired girl. Other than that, her appearance at the temple had gone better than she possibly could have hoped. Not only had Sailor Nova made a lasting first impression, but she'd also found a wedge to use against Setsuna. Just how big of a wedge remained to be seen, but it was better than what she had first started with.

Ranma walked into the living room with a spring in his step, expecting to find Kasumi fixing dinner. What he found instead was three girls gathered around the TV, staring at it intently. There was a forth girl, but she was occupied with a ball of yarn. It was also really bad luck that she was a cat girl and just happened to be the first to notice him. "Ranma husband home! _Reow!"_

Try as he might, Ranma found it impossible to produce a saving throw versus robotic cat girls and the glomp landed with ease. Ranma stiffened, but otherwise remained rooted in place, eyes clenched shut. "NotacatgirlNotacatgirlNotacatgirlNotacatgirlNotacatgirl…" he repeated the litany as if it were a life preserver. The martial artist was now operating solidly under the premise that if he said it enough times, maybe it would actually come true. The litany continued until interrupted by Kasumi.

"Now Nuku-chan, what did we say about Ranma?"

Nuku Nuku slowly untangled herself from Ranma's arm. "Mmmmm… No glomp on Ranma husband?"

"Very good." Kasumi smiled, and the cat girl returned an even brighter one. "What else?"

The smile vanished in favor of a look of intense concentration. "Ranma husband… Is not a cat?"

"Excellent." The smile returned to its previous intensity. "Now come back over here so that Ranma can relax." Nuku Nuku favored the martial artist with one last look of adoration before bouncing back over to Kasumi and the neglected ball of yarn. The pigtailed martial artist cracked an eye open to find the cat girl safely occupied by the yellow sphere of thread. Incredible. Simply in-freaking-credible.

"Uh, thanks Kasumi…" Ranma managed to push past his near brush with insanity and Kasumi smiled warmly.

"Did you hear, Ranma-kun?" She asked and Ranma gave her a blank look.

"Hear what?"

The eldest sister pointed at the TV, which now showed some sort of firefight in progress. "There's a new Sailor Senshi…" Kasumi's eyes sparkled as she turned back to the TV while Ranma's mind raced furiously.

Another Senshi? He thought as he stepped over to the gathering of sisters. I missed one! Letsee, there's all the planets, The Meddler, the fool in the Tuxedo… How many could there possibly be—

_"And that's when the new Senshi, Sailor Nova arrived on scene to dispatch the Youma ravaging Juubon with ease. As you can see here from Channel Seven's exclusive footage, this beautiful Guardian wastes no time dispensing justice…"_

"Erk!" The trio turned around to find Ranma white as a ghost.

"So what do you think, Ranma-kun? A new Senshi!" Kasumi gushed. "It looks like I'll have to update my collection soon. How about you?"

The martial artist twitched, staring at a close-up of the redhead on TV. "Er… Just another stupid magical girl?"

"Are you kidding?" Akane blurted practically in his face now. "Have you seen the way she moves? She's the Ultimate Magical Pretty Youma Killing Guardian of Love and Justice!" Ranma's cheek had now developed a nervous tick as he looked from Akane to Kasumi to Nabiki, then back to Akane. "I've GOT to get me one of those staves!"

"It is quite imposing." Kasumi commented. "Still, I think Sailor Moon is the best one of the team. After all, this Sailor Nova might have the same problem Tuxedo Kamen had."

"HA!" Akane was now fully engaged in the debate, allowing Ranma to inch away. Slowly. So very_, very_ slowly as not to attract attention. "That was because he is a man and all men are perverts. Like those Starlights. Anyone can see that Sailor Nova is _nothing_ like _them_."

A very large sweat drop rolled off Ranma's forehead.

"Come on, Akane," Nabiki tilted her head. "Even you have to admit Tux is kinda cute. Dark and mysterious… Probably rich too."

Kasumi looked at her sister. "How do you know?"

"The tuxedo." She replied. "You don't get that quality at rental stores."

"No way." Akane stated flatout. "Believe me, I know perverts when I see them. I mean, what kind of guy throws roses at his opponents?" Nabiki and Kasumi looked at one another with realization.

"Kuno."

Akane folded her arms in smug self-satisfaction. Both sisters shrugged and Ranma took that as his cue to exit before things got any weirder. He looked at the continuing news update on the TV. Or worse.

* * *

Sailor Pluto was getting worried. She adjusted the gates to another timeframe and frowned. Where was that boy! She flicked the staff horizontally and the view from the gates showed Crystal Tokyo in all its glory… Which now stood a thirty eight point three chance of becoming a reality. 

_Ranma Saotome._

The name left a bitter taste in her mouth, and she returned to her searching. He really wasn't deserving of it, but it had to be done. She knew why he was the way he was. Intimately, in fact, but the fact was that it was either him or Crystal Tokyo. It's either kill you, nullify you or doom humanity. And where was he now? Fiancee number one? No. Two? No. Three? No. The cat girl? Negative. The Lost Boy? Damn it. The Amazons? Nope. Setsuna was getting frustrated. Maybe the insane girl? Not there either. Her brother? Talking to some tomboy pigtailed girl. Damn, damn, damn! Where was the chaos ridden upstart?

Setsuna Meiou paused, calming herself. It didn't matter. He'd return to the dojo eventually. And when he did, she'd be waiting. The Guardian of Time made preparations to unleash her version of a tactical nuclear weapon and focused the gates on one Makoto Kashiwagi.

* * *

"Well maybe they have some in this place." Akane theorized, pulling the redhead into a different a different store. 

Ranma sighed. "Come on, Akane. They only found out about her yesterday. They ain't gonna have nothin' out yet."

"And how would you know?" Akane ask sharply.

"Because even the merchandizing around Sailor Titanium didn't hit the stores until at least two weeks…" Ranma noticed Akane taking an unusual interest in his explanation. "Um… Not that I follow that stuff or nothin'"

"Right." Akane snorted. "Pervert."

Ranma shook her head and was about to follow her in when her progress was interrupted by a certain insane kendoist. "Pigtailed girl!"

Ranma froze. Dammit, I just can't catch a break today, can I? "Alright, what is it, Kuno?"

"I just wanted to offer my enthusiastic congratulation on your new posting." Kuno elaborated in his usual flower manner. "It is surely one befitting of a woman as vibrant and energetic a yourself."

Akane rejoined the pair. "New posting?"

"But of course!" He exclaimed. "Could it be that the radiant Tigress Akane douth not know that the Pigtailed Goddess has been accepted by thy beautiful guardians of Love and Justice to become Sailor Nova?"

Ranma's face totally drained of blood as he looked at Kuno in disbelief, then Akane, who stared at Kuno with a quizzled expression on her face. It took her a moment to get the words out. "Ranma? A Sailor Senshi?"

"Indeed it is the truth! It could be none other."

Akane looked at him a moment longer. "AH HAHAHAHAHAHHA!" It was the second time in so many days Ranma watched a girl erupt into uncontrollable laughter. "Ranma…! A-A-A Sailor Senshi! WAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Well its not THAT unbelievable." Ranma grumbled under her breath while Kuno was more than slightly taken back.

"Verily, I can see where such a prestigious title would invoke considerable jealousy." Kuno commented and Akane's laughter abated slightly.

"Jealous?" Akane asked. It was a rhetorical question. "Of _Sailor_ Ranma? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Both redhead and Kendoist stared after the cackling girl as she waded deeper into the mall, now oblivious to them both. Kuno broke the moment first. "Perhapse it is for the best that only one shall date my magnificence at a time."

Ranma tried her best to hide the urge to dispose of his body in a most gruesome manner, since there was still work to be done. After that, _then_ she could dispose of his body. The pigtailed girl activated "pretty-please-Ranma-with-extra-cute-don't-you-just-love-me-with-sprinkles-on-top" mode and smiled brightly at the upperclassman.

It was time for the Ranma Saotome Anything Goes School of Payback, Step Two.

"Oh, Sempai I would love to date with you!" Kuno's eyes lit up upon hearing this most magnificent piece of news. "But for now, I cannot!"

"And why is this? Is it not the foul Saotome that keeps your heart enslaved so?" His voice burned with resentment.

"Oh no, that's not it at all!" Ranma countered sweetly. So sweetly that honeybees would have wretched. "But since I have become a Guardian of Love and Justice, my superior insists that any man that would take my hand must measure up to her standards."

"Truly? Who is this woman that I must date in order to prove my worth?" Kuno pressed, heedless of the troubled waters he was sailing into.

"I don't know if I should tell." Ranma played coyly. "She has very high standards and demands her suitors to wear a suit and dark sunglasses at all time!"

"Hmmf!" he dismissed the minor detail. "It is a fashion I shall adapt to easily in order to win your hand. What is this maiden's name?" Ranma never stopped smiling throughout the entire exchange, but Tatewake failed to notice the feral turn it had developed.

"Would you like her address too?"

* * *

Sailor Mercury tapped furiously at the clamshell Mercury Computer link. Furiously, because she was standing right smack dab in the middle of a all out youma incursion. "I think I've got a lock on the gate they used this time!" 

Venus went on the offensive, her Love Me Chain slicing a youma clean in two. "That's great, _really_ great!" she fumed indignantly. "Now put that thing away and give us a hand!"

"_Shabon spray!"_ A glittering misted blew past the complaining blond, shredding the youma creeping along her flank back twenty feet and into a nearby building.

"Show off."

The situation wasn't like their last engagement; the one where Sailor Nova had arrived to boister their numbers. No, this situation was much worse. The hideous grayish-pink youma had poured out of the flickering porthole en mass and now the Senshi were outnumbered twenty to five. No, make that eighteen to five, Sailor Venus amended, giving the two dispatched monsters a final look before wading back into the target rich environment.

A golden yellow arc streaked past her head and into a wayward youma, and her first thought was of the Senshi they could so desperately use help from right about now. No, that wasn't a burning disk of death, Minako realized. Sailor Moon jumped in beside her to recover the tiara that had all but gutted another wayward demon. They were all making good headway, but they knew this attack was different, evidenced by the fact of a very large youma standing in the center of the mob. Rei had taken a pot shot at it earlier with a Soul Fire attack, earning her one irritated super-youma, who in turn directed more of the lesser youma at her specifically. After that, the Senshi's tactics were altered by Ami—Don't attack the big one until the fodder was cleared out first.

Another Youma fell as the frail looking Senshi with midnight blue hair ran it through with perhapse the only weapon that would match Sailor Nova's staff in terms of sheer exoticness. Saturn pulled the Silence Glave from its newest victim, panting. She had lost count of how many more there were to go. Not that she had much time to count as another one clawed its way toward her…

* * *

Ranma Saotome watched the battle rage from a nearby rooftop. Yep, the Guardians of Love and Justice were up to the necks in it once again, simply ripe to be bailed out. Of course, they were probably hoping Sailor Nova would show up and lend her own brand butt kicking to their little war down there, but not this time. This time somebody else would be paying them a visit. 

The martial artist unbound his pigtail and a mane of black hair flow wildly in the windy night. From the breast pocket of his black business jacket, he withdrew a pair of intimidating black sunglasses. Ranma slid them on and straitened the matching black tie that contrasted against the white shirt before pulling a bokken from weapons space.

There was no doubt... He made this look _good._

* * *

One moment, Sailor Mars was ass deep in youma and the next, a dark blur accompanied by a flowing blue line erupted around her, decimating the ranks of monsters in front of her. Body parts flew as the quasi-female demons were dismembered before her very eyes, shocking both groups into breaking contacts by mutual consent. Left in the center of the neutral zone was one of the most handsome men the Senshi had ever laid eyes on, clad in in black business suit, white shirt, tie and pitch black shades. Even Usagi, who was hung up on Tuxedo Kamen had to agree that he looked positively scrumptious. 

He flipped the glowing blue blade around on reflex and turned back toward the enraptured Senshi, flashing warm smile. If it weren't for the youma behind him, the girls would have melted right there on the spot.

"My apologize fair maidens if I hath startled you." The suit clad avenger apologized in smooth, modulated tones. "However I cannot abidith by such wicked magics any longer, especially when used against such visions of beauty as yourselves." The Senshi's eyes sparkled collectively. So romantic! The suit now turned to the remaining youma, numbering thirteen strong. "The vengeance of heaven is slow, but sure. Unfortunately for you, I'm not. Prepared to have thy ass kicked!"

The elder youma frowned, its semi-feminine voice grating through the night air. "And just who the hell are you, exactly?"

The person in question raised his glowing sword high. "I am the Terror that cuts through the night! I am the defender of Love and virtue! I… _am Prince R!"_

The girls jaws dropped in unison. "Sugoi!"

The larger youma ground its fangs down. "Then that's what they'll place on you tombstone… Assuming there's enough left of you! ATTACK!" The lesser youma responded to the command instantly, all twelve attacking simultaneously. Instead of leaping out of the way or dodging the attacks, Prince R simply stood their oozing confidence. The girls weren't even worried. Their claws raked in and at the last possible second, 'R' whipped the bokken through a spiraling frenzy that decimated the attacking force. More body parts were forcibly separated from their bodies in a most violent manner and the glowing shaft of power sliced through the last one twenty seconds later. The elder youma took a step back, it's bony mane quivering with trepidation.

Prince R inspected the remains before turning the point of the glowing wooden sword on the last survivor. "I would have a word with you foul creature. Thou thinkth thy can dispoil such ethereal beauty and live? Nay, I cannot allow such!"

Unlike the other youma, this particular beast had actually been genetically engineered to think, albeit in a limited manner. Still, it was a virtual genius compared to its smaller brethren. That small intelligence provided the youma with two options. Fight or escape. It's limited bandwidth brain considered the two and decided it had virtually no chance to escape. When coupled with its natural predatory instict, the correct path became crystal clear.

"_ROOOWWWWRrrroOOOLLL!"_

As before, the Prince remained perfectly calm until the elder youma was virtually on top of him. In that moment, he planted the blade into the earth and flipped skyward on the handle. From there, physics did the rest as the charging beast flew headlong into the blade's glowing blue edge with enough momentum to run it all the way through. Ranma landed behind the creature and pulled the blade from the ground. The monster took its last breath and split cleanly in half along its entire length before disintegrating into ether.

Prince R took the measure of his decomposing opponent before rewarding the awestruck Senshi with another melting smile. "While I have enjoyed thy company immensely, I must depart for the night. Fairwell maidens of Love and Justice!" With a final bow, the new Prince departed at bluring speeds, leaving five smitten Sailor Senshi in his wake.

…While somewhere else in Juuban, _another_ bokken wielding Prince clad in a similar black suit and glasses began to stalk Setsuna Meiou for the right to date one pigtailed goddess.

* * *

**Author's Notes;** For those of you who have been asking (and none of you have), I think the theme song for this entire series should be "Hang On" by _Smash Mouth_. Give it a listen and you'll quickly realize why :D 

**Makoto Kashiwagi;** _I ain't tellin._

**Special Thanks:** _To **DCG, Yarrow, TriMatter** as well as the rest of the Fukufics crew. Props also go out to **Delta-Theta**. These people provided me with inspiraration and even the occasional scene as i wade through this maddness ;p Thanx!_

**Artwork; B Connolly **_was kind enough to illustarate a depiction of the _Staff of Ascension_, Sailor Nova's weapon of choice. You can find it on my main FFnet page. A pretty accurate piece of art, I think.  
_

Hope you continue to enjoy the series, cuz we still have a ways to go! Next up, Kuno, Happosai and Mako-chan!

Changes; v2- _Credit for artwork, Minor change to Prince R's intro. _v3- _Shabon spray is a mist attack, not water spout._


	5. Chapter 5 v31

**The Best of Times...**  
_By Ozzallos_  
A Fukufics (dotcom) Production

**Part Five**

**"D**ead Scream."

The line of energy hit its target dead on, blowing it back fifty feet through a concrete divider and into its own personal smoldering crater. Setsuna hadn't even bothered to transform in initiating the blast. While she could get away with that in public once or twice, going full Senshi was an outright no-no. She made one last cursory inspection of the smoking trench the attack had created and smiled at a job well done. Now maybe she could—

"_I fight on!"_

Setsuna Meiou froze, while her cheek muscle had developed a nervous tick to it. She turned to find her tormentor staggering out of the dusty ruin, his black suit in tatters. The once proud sunglasses fell away in molten ruin while his bokken burned like a torch. Why wouldn't he just stay down! Her mind raced. At first she had thought this Prince R was a pervert. The second time made him a dumb pervert. The third, a determined pervert. After that, she had begun resorting to Dead Screams in order to dissuade his unwelcome advances. Seventh time's a charm maybe?

"Indeed… You are as formidable as your beauty…. Suggests…" Prince R, otherwise known as Tatewake Kuno, was fighting for every breath his labored movements produced. "Therefore… I shall… Allow you to… Date me!" The woman sometimes known as Sailor Pluto growled maliciously.

**"DEAD SCREAM! DEAD SCREAM! ****DEAD SCREAM!"**

* * *

"So that's the other end of the porthole?" Usagi stared at the holographic image Ami had produced using the Mercury Computer remote. 

Ami nodded, brushing a bit of hair from her face. "Yep. A pocket universe no more than a hundred kilometers in diameter."

Rei stared at the floating bubble, which held a bright blob in the center. "Ok, then, what's that?" She poked the insubstantial orange blob, cutting through the hologram to do so.

"It's the only thing I could get an accurate reading on." Ami replied. "Seems to be a large power source of some sort. I'd almost rate it a mini star."

"And the youma are coming from that?" Michiru wondered and her partner spoke up.

"Well, hell. We'll just send Hotaru in and waste the place with a Death Reborn." Haruka commented. "She'll vaporize a hundred kilometers like it isn't even there."

This earned an arched eyebrow from Mercury. "Uh huh. And how is she going to survive the resultant collapse her DRR creates?" Michiru asked pointedly, to which Uranus remained silent. "That power source is likely the only thing keeping the pocket stable. Go in and Death Reborn it and you'll probably wipe yourself out when it folds in upon itself."

"That, and we should probably figure out what's going on in there anyway." Usagi pointed out.

Hotaru wasn't necessarily thrilled with the idea of unleashing the vast amounts of power at her command. It was what made her feared by others and generally made what little she remembered of the Silver Millenium a miserable existence. It was a tough life, being a strategic weapon of mass destruction. "Right. Maybe Pluto can get a better feel for what we're up against."

As if bidden by her name, Pluto staggered into the meeting looking less than pristine. In fact, she looked rather exhausted and bedraggled, truth be told. Michiru took one look at the disheveled state of her fellow outer and gasped. "What the _hell_ happened to you?"

If she had looked fatigued before, the scrunched face and fire in her eyes seemed to banish it completely with the question. "$#$# Prince R happened, that's what!"

Minako's eyes sparkled. "You MET Prince R? He talked to you personally?" The remainder of the Inners were beginning to feel a tad jealous.

"Um, didn't you _like_ him?" Usagi asked carefully, noticing the steady anger boiling from the Senshi.

"_Like him!_" Setsuna blew a fuse. Several of them, in fact. "He's the most arrogant, overbearing, pushy, self-centered perverted asshole I've ever met!"

Rei was blinking in confusion now. "You mean you didn't find him handsome, nice, chivalrous and powerful?" She cocked her head. "Did I mention he's a total dish?"

_"A total dish!_" The Senshi of time screeched. "A total PERVERT is what he is!"

"Er…" Michiru was at a loss, never having seen this Prince R. Still, he was a guy and Michiru of all people knew what THAT meant. She shared a knowing look with Haruka, who nodded in return. "Come on, Set-chan. We can talk about it in the next room." The trio departed leaving the confused Inners in their wake.

"She didn't like Prince R?" Ami put the question to nobody in particular. Who _wouldn't_ like Prince R? The Inners looked from one to the other, then to the room Uranus, Neptune and Pluto departed to. While several thoughts came to mind in that instant, two were mutually shared by the girls.

They had no idea Pluto was like _that_... It was either that, or she really, _really_ needed to get out more because all that time spent around the Gates was clearly driving her insane.

* * *

"_It is done." _

_A shimmering crystal floated into the darkened sky, its brilliance a sharp contrast to the fallout boiling over her. Queen Serenity fell to her knees as her reserves washed away. Like the crystal that now winked high above, she too was a sharp contrast to the buckled, ruined landscape around her. In one series of combined attacks, the Silver Millennium had died and its Queen would soon follow into eternity._

_Serenity smiled gently at the green haired Senshi that kneeled with her, tears falling from Pluto's last surviving Princess. She and the Advisors would be the only survivors of this great era, but its ruler had taken steps to ensure that the Millenium would not be forgotten. Artemis and Luna would go forward to ensure that when her children did arise, they would do so with friends. Setsuna Meiou had the much harder task, a task the Queen would not wish upon another soul. The Crescent Wand fell from her hand and the felines began to waver, fading from reality. _

"_On behalf of the moon, you will be free. Maybe we'll meet again, someday…" _

_It fell to the charred ground and the cats were gone, swallowed up by a temporal vortex that represented the last of Queen Serenity's power. Her last breath taken, she slipped away, white gown flowing along the tattered ground._

_Setsuna Meiou was the Guardian of Time, the last remaining Princess of Pluto and now sole survivor of the Silver Millennium. She was also the last person to see Queen Serenity alive.

* * *

_

Ranma Saotome, heir apparent to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts sat strait up in his futon, suddenly wide-awake. He looked around, only to find a dark room occupied in part by a snoring old man. What in the HELL was _that!_ Screw the dead woman, the dream had been nothing short of an all out apocalyptic free for all! Lasers, building to building combat and freakin' huge starships. And who was the last person standing? _Sailor Pluto_. Nightmare. Had to be. Besides, he could always tell a nightmare from everything else. How?

_All_ his nightmares featured _cats_.

* * *

A horizontal tornado cut through the youma ranks that were pressing Sailor Moon back, carving up the very earth as it annihilated the Senshi's opponents. Usangi turned to find a crimson and white fuku leaping into fray, sliding in beside her. "Sorry I'm late, your Highness." 

Usagi stared at the redhead for a moment in shock and the others took that as their cue to regroup around the Princess. She broke out of her stunned daze and smiled with a nod. Sailor Nova took up a position on her flank and the remainder of the Senshi- Mercury, Venus and Jupiter arrayed around them. Moon's smile disappeared quickly, however as she considered the mass of youma in front of them. It was a full-scale incursion, with an initial number of around fifty of the monsters spilling from the gate this time. The three girls were the only ones on scene at the time and managed a respectable job in carving up their numbers, but each one of them was more than happy to see Usagi's elite body guard arrive on scene. The others would be there momentarily, but the buffer Sailor Nova would create was more than welcome in the meantime.

"So what's the plan, your Worshipfulness?" Nova inquired with a slight smirk.

Sailor Moon's spirits immediately began to lift with the redhead's playful mood, the fact that she might have just been insulted not even occurring to the blonde. "Hmm, wait here for the others to arrive?"

"Wrong Answer!" the redhead piped merrily and brought the staff around to a striking position. "In the name of the Moon, it's time to kick some ass and take some names!"

"Um, youma don't _have_ names…" Sailor Mercury pointed out somewhat redundantly.

Nova's smile gained a whole new level of mischief. "Then I guess there's only one thing to do then—_SHINING NOVA!"_ A radiant blue ball of power erupted from the Alpha Guardian's hand, flashing outward into the now advancing horde. Two of the monsters were vaporized outright while another two sustained enough injury to totally incapacitate them when the sphere of ki detonated. Sure it was a Moko Takabisha by any other name, but it wouldn't do to advertise her signature moves by their proper names in mixed company.  
It took the Senshi a few precious moments to regain their wits before they engaged the horde as well, cutting loose with magical attacks that ripped through their lines. With Sailor Nova as the anchor, the last youma went down just as the Outers arrived on scene with Chibi Moon in tow.

Three outers and a pink haired girl landed on scene only to find youma ash already scattering to the wind. The tomboyish blond had a dejected look about her. "You called us here for this, you Clutz—_OOOF!"_

One moment Sailor Nova was standing next to Moon and the next her fist was imbedded in Haruka's stomach as if teleported there. She doubled over on impact and Sailor Nova followed the stroke through, her elbow swinging savagely into her chin. The Senshi seemed to lift into the air about two feet before landing hard on her derrière. Even Michiru standing beside her gaped.

Sailor Nova bent over the stricken girl and summoned forth the most condescending tone she could muster. "You're not too bright are ya? What did I tell you about insulting the Princess?"

An intangible wave of power slapped into Nova as Sailor Uranus's power levels spiked. "THAT'S IT! YOU'RE GOING DOWN!" Her snap kick failed to connect and now the redhead stood standing ten feet from her.

"So bring it, already."

Uranus examined her opponent carefully. The attack had been surprising in more ways than one. First, the little redheaded bitch was ungodly fast, so fast that her only warning had been a blur of motion. The second fact was slightly more surprising—She had expected far more power behind that fist. Oh sure, it was powerful enough and she'd be feeling it for the next few days, but either the girl was really pulling her punches or she just didn't have the same absolute power the rest of the Senshi had. Sailor Nova, in the meantime, had come to somewhat the same conclusion. It hadn't been full power, but the tomboy shouldn't have been able to pick herself up off the ground quite that easily. The fuku armor, she decided silently. If anything, it caused her grin to widen, which took Haruka back slightly. Wasn't she the one with the edge? only one through course through Nova's mind--

Finally, something that could absorb the punishment she was capable of dishing out.

Sailor Uranus may have had the advantage in terms of raw power, but there was no way she could have known that she was nothing more than a sparring post to Nova. Her own fist cruised in, but to Nova, she was slow. Insanely slow. Especially after fighting some of her more exotic rivals. Haruka smiled ferally as the fist seemed certain to break the little red imp's nose… then she was gone. The Outer Senshi only had enough time to notice the shadow eclipsing the light above her before two aerial kicks slashed into her face, sending Uranus careening wildly out of control and into the ground one more.

The redhead landed lightly beside her. "Wanna apologize to the Princess now, sport?"

"GRRRRrrrrRRR…" Uranus was just pushing herself off the ground when an unexpected sound was heard. It was a happy and melodious sound, something entirely inappropriate to the situation.

"Heheheheheee…." Both brawlers stopped and turned to the pink haired girl, who was once again quivering unnaturally. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!" A sweat drop rolled down the head of everybody on scene. "OHOHOHOHO! WAHAHAHA!"

Sailor Nova simply stared. "What the hell…."

"…IS SO DAMN FUNNY!" Uranus finished the sentiment.

Sailor Chibi managed to reign in the laughter. Slightly. "Heheheh! Some rice… Hehehe! And… hehehe-snort-heheh! Two pickles! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

It must have been the punch line to the funniest damn joke in the universe, except that nobody was getting it… Except one redheaded Sailor Senshi, who noticeably paled. She took a slight step away from the insane pink haired girl, as if she were a ticking time bomb.

Sailor Moon took advantage of the break in hostilities. "Um, I know! Let talk about it over ice cream." The Inners, not totally oblivious to the fine line being walked between Nova and the Outers readily agreed, and the suggestion seemed to pull Chibi Usa out of her humorous fit, though her eyes still shined. Nova looked from Moon to Uranus to Chibi. Trapped. If she bugged out now, it would look suspicious as hell, or like she was running away from a fight; she wasn't sure which was worse. If she did stay, she faced the prospect of hanging out with a bunch of twiddling girls and the questions they undoubtably had for her. And then there was Chibi Moon who _knew_….Something. Unless she had been in contact with the Tendos, there was no way she should have known THAT particular event that happened so long ago in her life. Curiosity made the decision for Sailor Nova. She had to find out just how deep she was in it with this Senshi.

"My, what a flashy transformation you had back there." Haruka eyed the redheaded imp with suspicion as she scooped the ice cream out of her cup. ""Not like ours at all."

"Well, hey," Yumei Ikari, aka Sailor Nova, aka Ranko Tendo, aka Ranma Saotome rose to the challenge. She had been expecting it, in fact. "If you wanna give the boys a free peep show, that's all you." Half the Senshi present in the ice cream parlor began to choke on their frozen dessert, as if suddenly aware of their highly revealing transformation process. Haruka and Michiru both turned beet-red, given their sexual orientation. "As for me, I'll settle for burning the pervert's eyeballs out."

Many of the girls present at the moment silently began to amend their transformation sequence.

Chibi Usa continued to barely suppress the occasional giggle as she ate, a behavior that was beginning to annoy 'Yumei' to no end. She didn't like to dance around confrontation, so she charged into it instead. If her cover was to be blown, she'd rather know right here and now. "So what's you story, Squirt?"

The giggling ceased immedietly as the pink haired girl held the redhead in a thoughtful look. Then her face broke out in a wide smile. "Story… _Uncle_ Yumei?" Yumei twitched and now all the Senshi were staring at Small Lady.

"_Uncle?_"

It wasn't necessarily the gender pronoun that had the girls on edge all of a sudden. After all, they were all quite used to Hotaru calling Hakaru 'papa'. The fact that Chibi had just named another relative beyond Moon and Kamen, however, did not go unnoticed.

Yumei-Ranma shook her head. This was just getting weirder and weirder. Like her life wasn't already insane enough as it is. "Sorry, kiddo. Got me mistaken for somebody else. Do I look like a guy to you?"

"Of course not, _Uncle_-san!" Chibi Usa snickered. "What a _curse_ that'd be!" Yumei-Ranma twitched again and the girl broke down once again.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

Ranma Saotome stepped up to the gates of the Tendo dojo with a noticeable lack of a spring in his step. It had been a rough day. No, the two bouts of youma attacks hadn't done it. Or the incessant hostility between him and Sailor Uranus. No, what was really bugging him was the small pink haired girl who hadn't stopped with the icecream parlor. Her dropping of hints continued for the rest of the day and it became obvious that Chibi Usa knew exactly who he was. Oddly enough, she never bothered to explain them to the other curious Senshi, as if it were her own private joke. Ranma thought hard on the situation. She was somebody who knew who Nova was and was closely associated with Pluto, but was withholding her true identity regardless. Even so, her relentless needling had taken its toll. 

Ranma stepped through the house door and was immediately filled with a sense of dread. _Karma._ Like a great white shark, it had returned, intending to finish the victim it had taken a bite out of weeks earlier. Few people were as attuned to karma as the Saotome, and now it washed across him like a flood. The bickering that filtered through the house was easily heard and it all stopped the moment he set foot into the living room.

Ranma was quite certain that the woman standing in the middle of it had something to do with the matter. He glanced at Akane's face, whose burning visage told him everything. New fiancée. Had to be. Dammit, that woman was SO going to get it. He didn't want to move to Phase Three, but she brought it down upon herself. But first thing was first.

The woman turned around and it was only years of built up immunity that kept him from picking his jaw up off the floor. She was absolutely gorgeous. Ranma had long since considered his own girl type to be at the top of the hottie food pyramid, but this new fiancée took the cake, ate it and asked for seconds. She stood about 5'8", had luxurious brown hair and a body that most girls would die for. Everything that she wore seemed to emphasis that last fact, from the tight white top that couldn't hope to hide her ample breasts to the short, skintight skirt.

Maybe he'd hold off on Pluto for a bit.

"Hello!" The woman gushed; stepping over to Ranma to embrace his hand warmly. "You probably don't remember, but your father and my grandfather pledged us to marry quite some time ago. My name is Makoto Kashiwagi!"

"Um, nice to meet ya." Ranma let a polite smile escape his face for the nice girl, but nothing more than that. To do anything more was to risk grave injury at the hands of the first fiancée. The martial artist turned to Nabiki, who had been expecting the silent query. She held a sheet of paper in response and he simply sighed. Well, it wasn't all bad, he suspposed. Pluto must really be slipping to send somebody this attractive. Of course, it could have just been a coincidence…

Ranma almost burst out laughing at the insanity of the thought.

"Uh, Miss Kashiwagi…"

"Call me Mako-chan." She supplied with a beautiful smile. Akane began to glow in the background and the family edged away from her.

"Er, Right. Have they already explained the situation?" Ranma motioned toward the family and refused to acknowledge his father's existence.

Mako-chan nodded. "Quite complex, but I'm sure _we'll_ have it worked out in no time." Nobody missed the emphasis, let alone Akane Tendo.

"You two timing CASSANOVA! _Another_ fiancée!" The table was in the air and impact was imminent when Ranma reacted on instinct, whipping the new girl out of the way and shattering the table with a fist. The room now stood in shock.

"Dammit, Akane! She's not even a martial artist!" It was probably the only thing that would have earned a rebuke from him, but her behavior was quite unacceptable. Sure the last month had been stressful on her. No, yet another fiancée wasn't helping matters. But her reactions were getting as bad as Ryogas! The youngest Tendo seemed to realize this too, and paled.

"I'm… I'm sorry!" She blurted and ran upstairs to her room in tears. The rest of the family looked at him expectantly.

Ranma sighed. "Yeah, I'd better see if she's okay…"

* * *

Few things could outright stop the martial artist's mental process these days, as the strangeness in Ranma's life could be shrugged off like a pellet striking adamantium plating. Strangeness, however, was about to deliver the boy an armor piercing round as he stepped into Akane's room, determined to check on his part time fiancée. His eyes were immediately pulled from the sulking girl to the walls, which were plastered floor to ceiling with… 

"Sailor _Nova?"_

Akane sniffled. "Yeah, so what?"

Ranma now looked like a trapped animal, eyes darting wildly from wall to wall. Sailor Nova was _everywhere_. "It's just… uh.. Well…" It was just plain _freaky_ that the woman who had serious anger management and trust issues with him was idolizing his Senshi alter ego, but he didn't feel the need to elaborate on that particular topic. Ranma wandered over to her desk, which had a Nova action figure poised on it. _Riiiight_. Somebody has been _busy_.

"Heck, she's probably better than you are!" Akane blurted defensively upon seeing his quizzled expression.

Ranma opened his mouth then closed it. What in the _hell_ was he going to say to THAT one? "Look, I just want ta make sure you're okay… I ain't datin' her." He paused with her doubtful expression. "Come on, 'Kane. You gotta trust me one of these days."

Akane considered the pigtailed boy in front of her and with him, everything they had been through. "Alright, alright. So maybe I was being a little unreasonable."

Ranma smiled. It was as close to an apology and understanding as he was going to get. That didn't make it any less important, however. "Fair enough. Don't worry, we'll just handle her like all the other fiancées."

"God, I hope not." Akane commented with amusement.

Ranma summoned a hurt expression. "Hmmf! I see how it is." Then, with a smile, "I'm gonna hit the bath. It's been a _long _day." He stepped out of the room and made his way down to the bath, absently noting the lack of any 'occupied' markings. Sliding open the door, he quickly found himself face to face with a extremely well endowed woman who just happened to be his newest fiancée. Suds covered her nude body as she rinced off under the cold water, and Ranma's mentally plating took yet another armor piercing round. In other words, he froze as his eyes began to transverse everything she had to offer.

Which, incidentally, was quite more than what Ranma was prepared for.

"Oh, um, hi Ranma." Makoto Kashiwagi said with slight embarrassment, cheeks turning a bit pink. One thing that was clear, however, was that see was quite proud of her body. She stood up to pull the towel down to her, affording Ranma a most excellent view of her—

Ranma's world shattered.

Ample breasts: check. Curvy hips: check. Beautiful eyes and pouty lips: Check-check. Male organs where they really had no place being: Che—WHAT IN THE HELL? Even as Ranma attempted to resolve this reality defying turn of events, a presence approached from behind him.

"Ranma, I forgot to tell you—" Whatever Akane was about to say was cut short as she realized he was starring at a completely nude woman who was just draping a towel around herself. "RANMA, YOU PERV—" The youngest Tendo's eyes widened as she caught sight of the same thing her fiancé had. Needless to say, she gaped. "You … She… He… YOU'RE **_BOTH_** PERVERTS!" Somehow Akane found herself unable to stomp off or hit Ranma this time, as if she were witness to some horrible wreck that she just couldn't tear her eyes away from.

"I can explain…" The now covered Mako-chan offered, stepping over to the pair. Unforunately, she stumbled on the bucket of cold water at her feet and there was only one place for it to go. It hit Ranma, snapping the redhead out of the trance enough to notice the curiosity now radiating from her newest fiancée.

"Well, now, if _that_ isn't convenient…."

* * *

"Yes it's true." Mako-chan confirmed to family gathered around the dinner table, who stared in awe. "Grandfather told me I should keep 'it' a secret for this exact reason." She cast a sad look at Akane, who had taken the place at the table furthest away from the new girl. The youngest Tendo tried to rationalize it all. She acted like a girl, but had the parts of both? She shivered slightly. 

"A herma- hermaphrodite?" A male Ranma stumbled over the word, to which Mako-chan nodded.

"Technically, I'm both sexes," She explained. "But I just consider myself fully equipped!" She smiled at the last, then at Ranma. "And it would appear that so are you."

"But I'm a GUY!" Ranma protested, a point he'd made more times than he could count. Probably wouldn't be the last, either.

"…Who just happens to be a girl half the time." Mako-chan's smile widened. "And I just happen to be a girl who is both at the same time. It's perfect!"

Kasumi ripped loose with an "Oh my" while even Nabiki cocked her head at the logic. "You _do _know there's a world of difference between the two?" The middle Tendo pointed out.

"Not so much." Makoto countered. "After all, we're both good for each other no matter what form Ranma is in!"

The cursed martial artist in question suddenly had a desperate need for fresh air.

* * *

"We have to stop meeting like this, Son in-law." The wrinkled Elder stated from her position across the table. She and Ranma now sat in Cologne's "safe room", a space so magically warded that little- if anything -could penetrate it to eavesdrop. Ranma hoped that included the The Meddler as well. "Why so late, anyway?" 

"I figure that's either when she'll be asleep or won't suspect me to be up and around." Ranma explained easily, to which Cologne arched an eyebrow.

"She?" The Elder latched on to the gender identity. "So your mysterious opponent is a she, hmmm? Speaking of which, how is the Staff of Ascension treating you?"

"Well, It was tough at first, but—" Ranma stopped suddenly. "You _know_."

"Indeed, Son in-law." The elder grinned. "I did not recognize you immediately on the television… for obvious reasons." He frowned and the grin widened. "But the Staff of Ascension is quite a legend amongst the Amazons and tough to miss."

"Damn, I hope nobody else picks up on that." Ranma shook his head at her accurate deductions.

"I doubt it. Few know of the individual staves themselves and even fewer the Staff. Of those who do, most think that it is still in the possession of the Phoenix tribe." The Amazon explained, unworried. "Still, it begs the question… Why are you now in the company of the Sailor Senshi? Or for that matter, how did you, of all people, become one?"

"Dammit, that's the part I can't tell you." He grumbled and she studied the martial artist intently.

"Then I'm afraid my help will be quite limited."

Damn. Damndamndamn." Ranma fussed, then looked her dead in the eye. "Fine. But you have to swear what I tell you doesn't leave this room. I don't even want it written in a report to the village or a journal, clear?"

Colognes eyes widened slightly. He knew about the reports? "Clear, Son in-law."

"Her name is Sailor Pluto."

Ranma couldn't have surprise Cologne more if he tried. "Did you say… Pluto?"

"Yeah, why?" There was no mistaking the reaction. The old mummy _knew_ something.

"Because if this Pluto and the one of Amazon legend are one in the same, she has been meddling in Joketsuzoku affairs for thousands of years." Cologne growled. "To what extent will probably never be known, but the name is not a welcome one among the Elders." She paused, her eyes gaining an evil glint. "This is your adversary?"

"Sounds like it." He replied, surprised to see Cologne's emotional mask slip to such a degree.

"What do you propose?"

Now it was Ranma's turn to pick up an evil grin. Anything Goes School of Payback, Step Three. "Remember the 'Girl Away' powder we used on Happosai?" She nodded. "I need something that _only_ attracts the old fart." Cologne's grin now matched Ranma's.

"The Joketsuzoku Amazon's will be _more_ than honored to provide whatever assistance you require in this matter."

* * *

"OOOH HOHOHOHO!" The sound rang out through the afternoon air, causing Ranma to freeze instantly in his appointed task. "I have found you , Ranma-sama!" 

Silently, Ranma praised the Lord for her presence. "Ah, Ko-chan! It's so good to see you!" The Hell froze over with those words.

"Of course it is, " Kodachi replied with sweet arrogance. "And I must say that I do not approve of your carousing with the Sailor strumpets." Then she added. "Though you look quite fetching in that suit."

The martial artist face planted into the ground. Why was it always the insane ones that could see through the disguise? Regardless, the plan was still workable. "Ya know, about that, Ko-chan… I wouldn't if it weren't for that evil slave driver!"

"What?" Kodachi's eyes began to glow. "The only one that will take a whip to my Ranma-sama is me!"

Ranma twitched nervously and began to wonder the wisdom of this particular plan. "Uh, right… And she's the one forcing me to, er, 'carouse' with the Senshi!"

"_She?"_

Ranma smiled as his explanation began to have the desired effect. "Yes… I would date you if not for her plans for me…"

"_PLANS?"_

"_Unspeakable_ plans." Ranma added, now thoroughly enjoying himself.

"This wench shall fall by my hand!" Kodachi protests vehemently, chewing on her ribbon. "Inform me as to this whores' name!"

"Would you like her address as well?" Minutes later and information in hand, Kodachi Kuno was off like a shot, allowing Ranma to return to his work.

"Heya Pops, have you seen the old fart?"

Genma Saotome's eyes widened and Soun Tendo's hands froze halfway through making his move in their eternal shogi match. "Don't even_ think _of him, Boy!"

"He's Right Ranma!" Soun agreed. "Such thoughts draw him forth."

"Feh, whatever." He dismissed both parents with a shrug. "I need ta see him now."

"WHAT?" Both parents where up now, staring in disbelief. "Don't you dare draw the Master here! Besides, nobody knows where he's off to!"

"So you think me saying his name will get him here?" Ranma asked and both parents nodded with apprehension. Ranma smiled and took a deep breath. _"Happosai! Happosai! Happosai!"_

"Sweeto!" The parents froze instantly, a horrified look plastered along their face. The demon had been summoned. "Ranma, my boy! What's up?"

"I have something you might like to know…" Ranma smiled.

"Oh?"

"How would you like to get yourself a hold of some _very_ special magical girl panties?"

* * *

**Author's notes**: _Hooyah! Still chuggin' along here. At this point I'm estimating maybe two more parts to this series now that things are solidifying upstairs here. The end series plot is all but mapped out, so I hope you're enjoying the show. Yes, I do have a definite end in mind._

**Makoto Kashiwagi;**_This character is from the manga _"Boku no Futatsu no Tsubasa"_ or _"My Two Wings"_. A warning before you go google it, as it is a rather hentai series and should be classified as Rated 'R'. I can't take credit for the idea as I was actually looking for a bi anime character to fill the role, but then _**Herb** (fukufics irc)_ pointed this one out and I decided it was just evil enough to role with._

**The Silver Millenium;** _Yes, I'm taking slight liberties in casting Setsuna as being the last person to see the Queen alive. I won't tell if you won't_ ;)

**Special thanx** to the FukuFics IRC crew (as always) and** Delta-Theta**

Changes: v2- Spelling, grammar v3- It's RICE and TWO PICKES! ARRAAAH!


	6. Chapter 6

**The Best of Times...**  
_By Ozzallos_  
A Fukufics (dotcom) Production

* * *

Sorry about all the alerts. FFnet crashed and it didn't look like the chapter was being added.

* * *

**Part Six**

"**M**eow!"

Ranma froze while Nabiki and Akane paused in their walk into town. They both looked at Nuku Nuku who shrugged. Well if she hadn't meowed… They followed Ranma's gaze to the orange tabby in his path now staring at him. Beads of sweat began to spring forth from his forehead.

"Ranma?"

The martial artist in question ground his teeth together. _Runawayrunawayrunaway runaway…_ Instead, he took a strained step forward. "NO!" he glared at the feline, who cocked its head indignantly. Ranma's breathing began to quicken. "You think you're hot shit, don't you? Well you're NOT! Your ain't nothin', you scrawny little thing! You think you're something? I gotta deal with cat girl FIANCEES! Huh! How about that?"

The cat blinked.

"IS THAT RIGHT?" A contorted expression took over his facial features. "You wanna go? Oh, we'll go alright!" Ranma unclenched his hand and a blue glow rippled along his knuckles. Akane stared at it with wide eyes, unable to believe what it represented. Ranma didn't even look like he noticed "I know what hell is and you ain't no cat-fiancée!"

"Um, Ranma…" Nabiki stepped up to his side with trepidation as Akane watched in horror. "It's just a cat, Ranma. It can't understand you." Ranma's head swiveled over to Nabiki, then back to the cat in question, who apparently got bored and began to walk off.

"Oh, that's right! You BETTER run!" Ranma snarled. "If you want some more, you know where to find me!" He watched his personal personification of evil round the corner out of sight, then began to grumble something about the cat's questionable linage. Nabiki simply shook her head and Akane continued to stare until a nice old lady stepped out onto the sidewalk from her apartment building and promptly drenched him with water.

Somehow, it was enough to bleed away the excess hatred, causing her to grumble about the curse instead. The redhead was so oblivious that she didn't notice the next in a long line of tormentors. Makoto Kashiwagi caught up with the trio and took her place at Ranma's arm without hesitation.

"_Hi_ Ranma…" She said sweetly. It wasn't a patented Amazon glomp, but the circumstances more than made up for that deficiency, in so far that Ranma (a babe) now had Mako-chan (another babe) hanging off her arm. Further exacerbating the matter was the fact that Mako-chan just happened to have the equipment of a guy and girl… So did Ranma, of course, just he did it on time share. She _didn't_.

"Me too!" The bubbly cat girl, decided to join in the fun that her fiancée was obviously having, and latched onto the other arm. If Amazon glomping were a scored event, Nuku Nuku would have rated an 8.2. By now Ranma was turning into a mass of goo, not so much because of the total hotties hanging off his arm, but by the peril they represented. On one arm, a phobia that made normal cats seem pretty insignificant. On the other, a biological concept she was in no mental condition to deal with.

Not that the passers-by ogling at the three had any perverted fantasies involving a certain lesbian trio, a disco ball and a tub full of warm cheese whiz, no sir.

Akane didn't even have a chance to glow with envy as Ranma's other two fiancées happened across the five girls. Their reactions however, were night and day. Ukyo sized the three up, her eyes instantly locking on to the long haired brunette. "Another fiancée?" She wasn't happy about it, but the fact that it was beginning to happen on a weekly bases helped blunt any searing jealousy she might have felt. Shampoo, however, was a different story.

"Stupid cat-girl stop hanging off Airen husband!" The purple haired Amazon demanded. Nuku Nuku rose to the challenge.

"Nuku-Nuku was here first!" She retorted, sticking her tongue out at Shampoo. The result was predictable.

"Obstacle is for killing! _Kachu Tenshin Amagurikan!"_

"Nuku Nuku _PUNCH!"_

_

* * *

_

Ranma prayed silently and braced for impact.

Across the city in the district of Juuban, a similar scene was being played out, but with a different cast of characters.

"Come my Ethereal Green-haired Beauty! We shall--- urk!" The fist connected with his gut just as Kuno wrapped his arms around his newest obsession. The upperclassman folded as Setsuna drew upon a fraction of her Senshi strength to dissuade the deranged boy.

"DIE ALREADY!"

"I see now why… the vibrant pigtailed goddess… looks to you..." Kuno labored as he struggled upright. "Your energetic manner… Is no doubt… An expression of your love for me!"

Setsuna was about to commence beat down, stage two on the suited boy when a haunting laugh interrupted her abuse. "_OH HOHOHOHOOOHHHOHOO! _Now you will suffer, Harlot!"

Without summoning her armor, ninety nine percent of the Senshi's abilities were locked away, awaiting conscious activation so that the user could interact normally with the populace, and not accidentally vaporize of few square blocks of people. But when you had a few thousand years on your hands, you tend to learn a thing or two about your equipment. Setsuna Meiou just happened to have such time on her hands and hacked her fuku armor to the point where she could access ten percent of that power without having to fully transform. It was probably why Kuno hadn't gone down after the first few Dead Screams, but now it contributed to her speed as she removed herself from the path of the ribbon that cut in, which wrapped itself around Prince R's neck and hauled him away into a brick wall.

Setsuna spun around to face her attacker even as Prince R peeled away from the wall, having left a good impression with it. Her newest opponent was a girl in her late teens with long black hair, clad in a black rose embroidered leotard and an insane glint in her eyes. The girl seemed to take the demise of her brother in stride. "I shall enjoy punishing you for defiling my Ranma-sama!"

Setsuna almost missed the next attack as the name hit her like a bludgeon… Which just happened to be what Kodachi Kuno had thrown at her. The Senshi of Time neatly sidestepped each gymnastics pin and pieces began to snap into place. The roaches she could have dismissed as a one-off prank or luck. After all, she had been the Guardian of time now for several millenia and was well practiced in hiding in the shadows of history and world events. Those individuals that were too disruptive to the Crystal Tokyo outcome were removed, and those that couldn't be removed were neutralized. There were very few that fell in the latter category and those that did had to be handled with care.

Ranma Saotome was just sort a person. Anybody she couldn't eliminate outright normally possessed considerable potential to do good or evil, but paranoia was an inherent element in her line of work. Yes, it would be nice to try and turn them to good, but it was normally far more trouble than it was worth and the tactical risk to her and Crystal Tokyo were enormous. Setsuna Meiou couldn't jeopardize actually revealing herself and her mission to these powerful individuals who may or may not decide to like her, so after several centuries of moral dilemma and a few good intentions gone bad, Sailor Pluto decided to take the safer- and easier -of the options.

Only today that was turning out not to be the case.

Another ribbon snapped in front of her and she absently deflected it. It was now the first time in nearly a thousand or so years that one of her projects seemed to have not only acknowledged her existence, but was actively trying to counter her influence! The last had been an Amazon named Tieu Shu some one thousand five hundred years ago, but she had arranged for _that one_ to be eliminated before she could become _too _troublesome. But Ranma... Ranma was going to be a problem. Setsuna closed the distance and stepped inside the insane girl's guard- Kodachi, if she remembered correctly -and delivered a right cross to the face, sending her sprawling twenty feet.

Ranma was going to be a serious problem. While she hadn't been able to obtain constant surveillance of his life due to the chaos surrounding him and his family, she knew him quite well. Probably better than most of the people he came into contact with, and one thing was for certain... _He would not give up_. Against somebody possessing his determination and power, she saw the situation getting quite ugly, quite fast. In fact, Setsuna was slightly surprised that this was the extent of it so far.

"Cease your pursuit of my Ranma-sama, Witch!"

"I strike to date thee!"

"_AAAHHHHAAAaaaaAAHHH!"_

_

* * *

_

Hotaru fidgeted. This action was strange in itself because Saturn's Senshi was quiet and reserved to the extreme. In other words, the girl with short, midnight blue hair was normally not one to fidget. She, along with the rest of the Senshi, had their eyes on two people. The first was Yumei Ikari, who looked as if she had just finished running a 5k marathon. Obviously the Senshi hadn't had time to 'freshen up' as it were before the meeting now being held at the Outer's home. The second anomaly was Setsuna Meiou, who was in very much the same condition. They look like they'd been run over by a truck, with minor scrapes and bruises accompanying each. It was Setsuna who looked worse for the wear since she hadn't had a chance top change out of her purple business casual dress, which was now looking just this side of tattered.

"Mmm, are you okay?" Usagi asked Yumei-Ranma tentatively. The redhead shrugged.

"Bad hair day."

"How about you?" Michiru put a similar question to Setsuna.

"_Very_ bad hair day."

...Which was an understatement, since both looked like they just got licked by a drooling cow. Yumei and Setsuna offered one another quizzled glances before both began to chuckle at the other for entirely different reasons. "Okay, enough on our fashion Faux Pas. Ami, I found what you were looking for." All the room now focused on the Guardian of Time. "It wasn't easy. They buried that pocket universe so dimensionally deep that I would have never found it without your readings from the portholes themselves."

"Somebody's going through a lot of trouble to hide this place then..." Haruka almost growled.

"Yes. Not simply hide it, mind you." Setsuna continued. "I can't even teleport in to have a look around. Somebody also went through a lot of trouble to keep people _out._"

"How so, Puu-chan?" Chibi Usa asked, the ever present smirk that seemed to have been inhabiting her face as of late seemed to fade.

"Not only did they bury it dimensional from sight- my sight -which is notoriously hard to do, but the subspace strata around it has been folded to such a degree that it might as well be an origami swan. If I tried to teleport in, I'd probably end up one too."

"Use the youma gates, then?" Yumei-Ranma's tactical mindset was now hard at work. It was an interesting duality, she observed as her thoughts chewed on the problem. On one hand she was actively infiltrating the Senshi to oppose Setsuna's meddling. On the other, her code as a martial artist wouldn't even come close to letting her stand idly by while the world got invaded by soul stealing beasts.

Ami fielded the question. "It's a thought, but the problem there is we can only react to their presence, not predict when and where." Yumei nodded in understanding. "By the time we arrive, the gate is closed and decaying."

"Then we make out own." The redhead stated evenly and now the whole room stared at her.

"And how in the hell do you propose to do that?" Haruku asked. No hostility in her voice, uh-uh.

"Beats me." Yumei smiled and half the room face planted into the floor. Ami, however, was already hard at work, tapping furiously at the Mercury link.

"It's possible..." She replied, much to everybody's surprise. Even Yumei blinked, surprised that her shot in the dark had produced something tangible. "Not with the information I have now, mind you... but get me a few more solid readings readings and I might be able to coax the Mercury Computer into generate our own."

"I was about to say that." Yumei deadpanned, and have the room snorted with something close to laughter.

"We still need to know what's on the other side." Rei pointed out, to which everybody agreed.

"We need a probe." Ami stated, to which her sisters in arms simply stared. "You know, something expendable thrown into the pocket universe that will send us back data."

Setsuna arched an eyebrow. "Like...?"

"Um," Ami scratched her cobalt blue hair sheepishly. "Do we happen to have another Mercury link?"

The remainder of the meeting outlined the various strategies and such to be employed against further mass youma incursions and all came to the unwelcome conclusion that they would be pulling overtime until they could find out what was causing the things to spew forth from a pocket universe, when the last of their great adversaries was supportively dead. As it turned out, Pluto did have a spare link, though she winced at the thought of using a priceless and near extinct artifact from the Silver Millennium as an expendable probe.

But for now, there was other business to take care of.

"We may have a problem besides the youma." Setsuna informed the girls quietly. Attention was instantly riveted on her person. "It has come to my attention that there is a force swaying the Crystal Tokyo outcome." The room instantly came to high alert. Earth was going to suffer a cataclysmic ice age and now something was threatening humanity's only hope for survival? "There is an individual in Tokyo who is the source of so much chaos that it may be necessary to... Remove him from the picture if Crystal Tokyo is to survive."

"Um, who is this person?" Makoto asked quietly. If it hadn't been her, it would have been somebody else. There was, however, one person in the room who knew exactly who the Guardian was talking about and she fought the urge to tear into her right then and there. Yumei-Ranma could probably take three to four of the girls out before she went down, but she held no illusions as to the fact that she was seriously out gunned. Not enough space to pull 'em all into a Hiryu Shoten Ha either, she noted grimly. That, and she wasn't sure if she _wanted_ to... Her beef was with The Meddler, not these girls who seemed nice enough by themselves. Still, something was going to have to be done to head this off at the pass. _Maybe..._

"I can kill him now if he's a threat to the Princess." Yumei-Ranma stated in an almost conversational tone, and half the other Sailor's eyeballs practically rolled out of their sockets. Even Setsuna, who had broached the topic was taken back at her directness. _Definitely_ Alpha Guard. She did _not _want to get on that woman's bad side.

"What?" Usagi stood up suddenly. "We can't just go around killing people!" The Inners nodded in agreement while the Outers simple stared at Setsuna now. "Nobody will be killing anybody until we learn more about him, is that clear?" Nods came from all around because it was one of the few times the Princess actually asserted her will upon those around her. Yumei smiled inwardly. Not so simple when you don't use a sanitary word like 'remove' is it, Set_-chan?_

With that topic out of the way, the meeting descended into the usual grab for food, gossip and other teenage female activities that Ranma really wanted no part of but was invariably sucked into.

"What do you think about my hair like this?" Makoto asked while maneuvering her hair with her hands to mimic a style.

The other girls around her were evaluating what Makoto was proposing, when Yumei piped up. "I think you would look better if you did it like Hikaru Utada," she said off-handedly. "It would frame your face better."

It was after those words left Ranma's mouth that she realized that she'd been reading way to much of her own teen magazine stash. _Gotta focus on business!_

"Your Highness, a word if I may?" Yumei beckoned the blond into a more private conversation. Usagi looked at her nervously as she approached, but accepted the invitation. After all, it wasn't often somebody offered to kill for you without a second thought. As unnerving as that fact was, she _did_ like the redhead, especially given the fact that she hadn't heard an insult directed at her person in nearly a week. "I would only take the action if it were a direct threat to you." Yumei assured her.

"I understand, but it's so..."

"Harsh?" Yumei nodded. "It's not something I relish either, Princess. Which brings me to what I wanted to talk about." Moon looked at the redhead curiously now. "As you know, it's my job to protect you against any threat; Both external and... _Internal._"

"Internal? _You mean..._ But who?" The blond's eyes widened at the implication.

"How well do you know Pluto?" Yumei asked, and Usagi's eyes widened more, if possible.

"Um, well... She's nice... But mysterious." the girl recalled the major aspects of Pluto's personality. "Wish she was around more to help us out instead of appearing and disappearing at random. And she's always scaring me!" Usagi's face took on a mask of annoyance with that last comment.

Yumei nodded with sympathy. "It's your call as to how private you wish this information is to remain, but I am beginning to consider Setsuna Meiou a risk to the throne." Usagi gasped. "And this latest incident doesn't help matters."

"What do you mean?"

Ranma had now been around the Senshi enough to know what Crystal Tokyo was and what Pluto's exact motivations were concerning it. Then everything fell into place with her proclamation that Ranma was a threat to that vision, which gave her more leverage than she could have possibly hoped for. "I believe Setsuna has become too... _trigger happy _in her quest for Crystal Tokyo."

"But... _how?_" She was whispering now, becoming an active part of the conspiracy in play.

"Thousands of years with only one single focus would be my guess." The redhead theorized. "How easy would it be to rationalize the lives of a few thousand people who may or _may not_ be disruptive to her plans? Maybe not immediately, but I imagine after a few thousand years..."

It had never been put in that context before and Usagi found herself easily seeing the potential problem. "And to have the power of all time in the hands of one individual..."

Yumei-Ranma nodded. "Now you see my fears, m'lady? What do you suppose she would do if one of your best friends was a threat? Would she even inform you? Has she _ever?" _In that moment, Usagi realized the cold, hard, truth... _No, she'd never know._ Pluto's guardianship of time had been her imminent domain, and she felt neither the want or need to explain her actions in many cases. It was all very frightening when put into Yumei's context. "I can't say as to her current behavior, but I find it disconcerting that she would use the Senshi- _her Princess_ -to carry out what amounts to an assassination with nothing more than the promise that he is a threat to Crystal Tokyo."

"So what do you think I should do?" Usagi whispered in a quiet voice, one reserved for the realization that all was not quite right with the world as she knew it.

"Just watch and observe. Awareness is enough, your Effervescentness... For now." Ranma stated, then turned her attention to the next matter at hand-- The covert application of a certain Happosai attractant powder made by a certain Amazonian Elder to be added to a certain meddler's panty drawer.

* * *

_Setsuna Meiou, heir quinary_ _in line to the throne of Pluto did so love Her Majesty's royal balls. While some of the nobles she mingled with were very much eye candy, most had the personality of a space flotsam. No, it was the dancing she enjoyed most of all, not the social life. This particular ball was a tad different from the others, in the fact that she had not had to cajole her way into it. Being fifth in line for any throne tended to put you at the bottom of the invitation list concerning the Queen's social gatherings, so one had to be creative to even attend even a fraction of them. _

_Princess Setsuna was _very _creative._

_She reflected on this anomaly as she waited for the next dance to begin, absently hoping she didn't get stuck with yet another insufferable noble with too many pedigrees to count. Unlike the previous dances she had gone to, Setsuna had actually been _invited _to this one. It came as somewhat of a shock to have the written invitation in her hands, signed by the queen herself._

"_Excuse me, Princess?" Setsuna looked up to find a smartly dressed blond with the hint of a smile on his face. Not bad, she thought as she rose to politely take his hand. Almond completion, sharp features and easy on the eyes. She smoothed out her lavender ballroom gown in preperation for the next dance._

"_I'd be delighted to." She answered the unspoken question, only to watch the slight smile turn into a frown._

"_I'm sorry, Princess, there appears to be a misunderstanding." Setsuna blinked. Well if he wasn't here to dance... "The Queen requests your presence in her chambers." The Princess studied the room carefully now, noting for the first time that Queen Serenity was indeed not present as courtesy normally dictated. Seeing comprehension in her eyes, the blond's minute smile returned. "If you will follow me, m'lady?"_

_Part of the Princess was disappointed she'd be missing out on one of the most treasured things in her life... Dancing. The other part- fortunately the majority -was secretly thrilled that she was actually going to sit down with the Queen herself! What would they talk about? The affairs of the kingdom? Over tea and moon cakes? Gossip about the latest happenings? Truth be told, Setsuna didn't have a clue, so she simply followed her escort out of the ballroom down a long hallway and into a lavishly appointed room where the blond Princess, flanked by two of her elite guard, sat on what possibly looked to be the most comfortable plush chair she had ever seen. Serenity nodded to the escort and he bowed out, taking his leave of the the pair. Princess Meiou walked up and concentrated on accomplishing the graceful bow of her entire life._

_A mischievous smile crept along Queen Serenity's face. "I won't stand on formalities back here if you won't, Set-chan."_

_Setsuna blinked several times before recovering from the bow and some of her composure. "Y-Yes, your Majesty!" The Queen her admonished with a disappointed look. "I mean Serenity... chan?"_

"_Better." The look disappeared, replaced by a content smile. A white cat hopped up onto the chair and stretched itself across the Queen's lap, looking upon the Princess with it's deep blue eyes. "You're undoubtedly curious as to why you, fifth in line to the throne of Pluto, have been called into a personal audience with me..."_

"_The thought had crossed my mind, your Hi--" The look crossed the Queen's face once more and Setsuna quickly corrected herself. "I mean, Serenity-chan."_

_Queen Serenity nodded. "Very good. To answer your as yet unspoken question, the Silver Millennium and I have need of you."_

"_Y-You do?" The Princess couldn't fit any more incredulity into her words if she tried._

"_Indeed." Serenity confirmed the fact that she had not misspoken. "What we are about to discuss shall not leave this room, such is the gravity of the subject matter." Setsuna nodded in agreement, her initial fluster forgotten. "As many know, relations between Earth and the Moon kingdom are... Delicate at the moment. Perhapse too delicate. As such, a number of contingencies have been drawn up... Just in case." The phrase 'just in case' hung there like a foreboding omen as each women clearly understood the meaning behind it._

"_As you know, it is normally up to the ruler of each world to protect the kingdom. The mantle of the Senshi carries with it not only a responsibility to ones people, but to the defense of the realm as well." Setsuna sat in silence, but wondered why the Queen was elaborating on what amounted to a well known lesson in Silver Millennium history. "Our contingency requires another Senshi to come forth. You."_

"_ME?" Setsuna blurted, totally forgetting who she was in the presence of. "But Pluto already has a Queen! Auntie won't be happy to hear that I stole the crown from her!"_

_Queen Serenity chuckled. "Of course not, child. I would never dream of putting you in such an awkward position... The position I intend to put you in is by far more ambitious."_

"_And what... Position is that?"_

"_The Guardian of Time itself." She state in a near reverent tone. _

_Setsuna Meiou twitched. "The Guardian of... But... Why ME? Surely Auntie..."_

"_First, we need Queen Aiko right where she is... On the throne of Pluto and at my side should conditions become less than favorable." Serenity explained to the awestruck princess. "Second, we've reviewed your complete psychological profile, and it indicates not only a high degree of stability, but an inherent logic that is absolutely necessary for the task."_

"_And third?"_

"_And third, you're expendable." Setsuna's mouth hung open, causing the Queen to chuckle further. "The cold, hard reality is that if events fall to where you are actually in a position to take the throne, then the situation has gone beyond dire. At the moment you're far more useful in your capacity as the future Guardian of Time than your hereditary position to the throne of Pluto."_

_Setsuna was still reeling as her life turned upside down. "Do I have a choice?"_

_The Queen's features softened and Setsuna was sure she saw sorrow in her eyes. "Yes, Set-chan, you do. I could not order anyone to this duty, for it will literally span ages. You may become cut off from your family and loved ones. The choices you make may will be hellishly difficult at times. The temptation will be staggering. THAT is why I can only request you do it. Not for the Queen, but for the people of the Silver Millennium."_

_The Princess sitting before her dissected the situation carefully. "Have things really become that bad between the Moon Kingdom and Earth?"_

_Queen Serenity frowned. "Not as of yet, but the signs of a massive storm brew on the horizon. If it is nothing, then you may never find yourself activated. I would prefer that be the case."_

"_But if it is..." Setsuna's voice trailed off into a whisper._

"_Then may God watch over us all."_

_

* * *

_

Ranma Saotome's eyes snapped open, yet this time he managed to suppress the urge to bolt upright in his futon. Instead, he opted to stare at the darkened ceiling as the images played through his mind. There was definitely a cat in that one, but it just didn't have the nightmare quality he was used to. Whatever he had been dreaming as of late, it sure as hell didn't feel like dreams...

More like memories.

But whose? No way they could be his. He didn't know no cats, or a Queen or a young _Princess_ Setsuna. And he sure as hell didn't know what the Silver Millennium was prior to these dreams. What ever had happened, he knew it was a _long_ time ago, and the age of the his staff came to mind. But if they weren't his memories... The only question now was why in the heck was he remembering her stuff? And for that matter, WHY was he remembering? Ranma Saotome, closed his eyes at three AM in the morning, desperately hoping that Setsuna Meiou wouldn't pay his dreams yet another visit.

Somehow, he didn't think he was going to get off quite so easily.

* * *

"So this is it?" Arisa asked as the pair of women and an engineer walked through a Mishima Heavy Industries hanger, their steps echoing across its expanse. It was empty save one one aircraft, still gleaming with its fresh-off-the-assembly line finish. the long trim fuselage bore the lines of a predator, broken only by the stubby over-slung wings and two variable angle fan jets. 

"Ladies, I'd like to introduce you to Poison Nine," The engineer stated with flourish, gesturing to the shining vehicle. "Mishima's _newest_ state-of-the-art Close Air support Gunship."

Kyouko ran a finger across the the unpainted primer gray chassis. "Reactive composite armor?"

"Yep." The engineer smiled as the two women admired his team's masterpiece. "We figured that since you were going to be dealing with anti-aircraft _energy_ fire in addition to the 1124's pounding, you wouldn't mind the extra weight." The blond nodded and Arisa was already looking at the weapons pylons. "We also decided to roll with the experimental AX15 b's for the missile package. Instead of throwing out just fragments, they'll throw out _plasma_ fragments." Arisa grinned ferally as she inspected the dummy warheads currently in place. "If those don't slow down your damn android, nothing will short of an AX20 Death Hand."

"Death Hand?" Her ears perked up at the mention of a new, insanely powerful weapon.

The engineer suddenly began to regret its mention. "Um, yeah. We developed a fuel-air explosive missile for wide area suppression. It doesn't pack quite the punch of a full gravity deployed device, but it'll leave a mark."

"We'll take it!"

Both Kyouko and the engineer did a double take. "_Excuse me?"_

"You heard me." The brunette was positively glowing with anticipation. "I want Poison Nine prepped and ready with a full strike package before Friday."

"But the avionics haven't even passed phase two cert yet!" He protested and Kyouko joined him.

"Ris-chan, the main gun isn't even installed on the nose!"

"And I want a Death Hand." Arisa paid them no mind, her eyes shining now. "make sure you have two suits of Elemental power Armor in the hold as well."

"But...!"

"I want the paint job dark red!"

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" The engineer finally exploded. "It's a prototype! It hasn't even passed air worthiness certifications!"

"Mister... Nanako. Is it?" Arisa addressed the engineer for the first time, her eyes narrowing dangerously on him. He nodded. "You do know that the Boss has given the capture of the NK-1124 an 'A' priority, correct?"

The engineer began to shuffle nervously. "Eh, yes?"

"And as such, gives me full authority to requisition whatever materials I deem necessary to complete the mission, _right?_" She took a threatening step toward the poor man. A large sweat drop rolled off the side of Kyouko's head.

"Eh.. eheh..he.. Right?"

"Which _means_ you will have my Poison Nine Close Air Support Gunship equipped with a nose cannon, full spread of AX15 b's, an AX20, two Elemental power armors and a shiny red paint job by Friday, RIGHT?" She menaced and the engineer shivered.

"Uh, Sure! Right!"

Arisa nodded. "Thought so. Come on, Kyo-chan. We've got two cat-androids to find in the meantime."

* * *

"Open gate, Deisu Mall!" Usagi's miniature comm device crackled, causing her to find a deserted ally and power up into the form known as Sailor Moon. Five minutes later found the mall a virtual war zone with youma still flooding through the open porthole. It was an all out free-for-all and everybody was invited. 

Moon jumped in beside Sailor Mercury, cutting her closest attacker down with a Moon Spiral Heart attack "This doesn't look good!"

"Not on your life!" Mercury replied as she commenced to freezing two more youma advancing on the pair.Sailor Moon obliged her by shattering their frozen forms. "It's looking like a full scale assault... Big youma, small youma... We're looking at close to a hundred."

A fireball erupted in the youma ranks as Rei cut lose and joined them. "Dammit, this has _got_ to stop! They're ruining my social life!"

"We have to keep them contained in the mall!" Ami stated as the tide of monsters tired to advance along the Scout line, getting torn apart in the process. "Neptune, how about that link?"

"_Deep submerge!_" Another mob was washed away under a bolt of water. "Chucked the link in before they had a chance to dog pile me. Uranus and I had a hellva time extracting ourselves." As if to underscore the point Haruka cut loose with the space sword.

"They're _still_ coming through." Hotaru observed with a slight edge of fear as she withdrew the Silence Glave from her latest victim. Pluto nodded.

"I'm going to have to get in close to collapse the gate." Pluto stated coolly, analyzing the monumental task and hordes of youma in front of her. It wasn't looking to be a fun task as another platoon of youma pressed the assault. She knew that regardless of how good they were, the attrition alone would eventually kill them.

Two roses arced in and ripped the advancing youma apart. All the Sailors turned to find a familiar atop a convenience store roof. "It would appear as if the beautiful defenders of love and justice could use some assistance."

"Tuxedo Mas--!" Usagi's glee was cut short as a new figure hopped into view, balancing lightly on a telephone pole. Black glasses, black tie, black jacket. "Prince R!"

"Oh God, it's the pervert!" Setsuna growled and the Inners looked at her with sympathy, shaking their heads.

Tuxedo Mask stared at this newcomer, first wondering who exactly he was, then wondering how the other Sailors already knew him. "Prince _R_?" He asked with no small amount of skepticism.

He ignored the top-hatted Senshi. "Verily, my Princess. What manner protector to ones as radiant and beautiful as thy selves throwith mere roses from a distance?" Tux's eyes buldged as the insult took shape. "Indeed, should not a _real_ man stand with such ethereal beauty in their times of need?"

"Now listen here--"

"Foul creatures! I strike!" Tuxedo Mask's words no sooner left his mouth than Prince R's form blurred into the mass of youma, cutting several down with his glowing wooden blade. "Nay, you shall not not touch such pristine beauty!"

Body parts began flying while Sailor Pluto stared in awe. Horrified awe. What the hell was going on here? There was no WAY this could be the same Prince R if only because this one was actually... Skilled! Tuxedo Mask continued to throw roses into the horde, but they only served as a reminder to just how pathetic his efforts were compared to Prince R's rising body count.

Then it hit Usagi, "Maybe Prince R can get you close enough to the gates to--"

"WHAT!" Pluto fumed and Usagi took a step back. "No WAY am I going into THAT," she motioned wildly at the mob, "with the PERVERT!" Moon looked at the Guardian of Time as if she had gone insane. Prince R? A _pervert?_ Impossible! Before the pair could blink, Prince R and his glowing sword had separated from the melee and appeared by their sides.

"Fear not young maidens, for I shall clear a path through such monstrosities!" He produced a roguish grin and jumped back into the fray, both Senshi watching as he seemingly danced around his numerous foes.

"If the pervert keeps showing off like that he's gonna get—WHOA!" The sentence fell off Pluto's lips as a massive energy spike rippled through her brain.

"_JUSTICE WHIRLWIND!"_

The team of Senshi watched in amazement as vapor suddenly condensed around the man in black, twisting around his person until the air pressure finally reached critical mass, resulting in a supercharged high energy tornado that chewed the front lines of the youma apart and proceeded to rip a path into the already battered mall and heir ranks. Prince R walked out of the devestation with a smirk on his face. "I believe that is the opening you are looking for, my fairness?" Setsuna twitched barely suppressing the urge to strike him down right then and there. But there were other matters to consider, and she was off following the tornado to the gate like a shot. He now turned to Sailor Uranus. "Not a very personable lady, is she?" Uranus simply stared. "But, you on the other hand... Your beauty eclipses the sun by several magnitudes." Between the awing display of power she had just witnessed and Prince R's roguish charm, Haruka was powerless to stop him from taking her hand and planting a gentle kiss on it. The blushing that followed was quite fierce. Michiru stared incredulously while the inners gaped. She was actually letting a MAN do that! Likewise Michiru was far from happy herself. The gaping quickly turned into smoldering resentment. She wasn't even supposed to LIKE guys and there she was taking the first hottie they'd stumbled across since Tuxedo!

Speaking of which...

"Hold!" Tuxedo Mask hopped down from his rooftop sniping position. "I, Tuxedo Mask shall not let a complete stranger paw the guardians of love and justice!"

Prince R paused in his attentions over Sailor Uranus to size his counterpart up. "This coming from the boy who throws roses at his opponents? Surely thou doth jest."

"What?"

Usagi stared back and forth between the well dressed duo as they stepped up to one another in challenging. On one hand was her long time boyfriend and future husband. On the other was the mysterious, handsome and chivalrous Prince R. "Indeed, what man will stand aside while such perfection fights before him? Only cowards stay in the back while weaklings throw roses... Therefore..." The punch cut in sharply with an angle that would take it straight into Prince R's cheek... If it were ever given the opportunity to reach. The Prince's hand materialized in front of the fist and stopped without play. Prince R's grip tightened to painful levels. "And only a dishonorable fool will attack without formal challenge." He growled and the eyes beneath Tux's Mask widened as they stared into these dark, unflinching sunglasses. There was no doubt as to what was going to come next. Everybody knew it. Tuxedo Mask had lost his temper and thrown down, only to meet this man of unflinching resolve and power.

Tuxedo was about to get his ass beat.

Actually, what happened next was quite a shock to everybody. Sailor Pluto materialized by the remaining girls. "Ok, it looks like the gate is sealed and the tornado took care..." That was when she heard a sound that would haunt her to her dying days...

"_What a haul!"_

_

* * *

_

Pluto stood before the Gates cursing in four different languages, three from the past and one yet to be invented. Her uniform had seen better days and she was down to her very last set of bra and panties - one's she had hoped to save for a special occasion. But that was not to be. Her eyes narrow as she manipulated the Gates.

Ranma had gone too far this time. He had sicced a daemonic, panty-thieving little troll on her; one that evaded her every effort at defense. She had barely escaped with her last set of under-things to the Gates of Time and she was fully intent on paying Ranma back - with very painful interest. Searching the time stream for her prey, she soon was most annoyed that he was nowhere near friends or acquaintances.

"Where is that bastard," she muttered with great venom. "When I find him, I'm going to-"

"Sweeto!"

Pluto spun on her heel in time for Happi to latch onto her chest like a baby that hadn't eaten in three days.

"So round, so soft and firm," the troll-like man said while nuzzling between her breasts. He then looked up with puppy-dog eyes, glistening with happiness. "You've made me the happiest man in the world!" He declared.

Pluto proceeded to beat the troll off her. She didn't even wonder how the little pervert got to the Gates, she just focused on one thought, and one thought only: "Ranma, you are so dead."

* * *

**Author's Notes;** _Hope you don't mind it getting a tad serious, but I've had it planned since the beginning. Sorry, but I can't help but to add a little plot to my stories. Still hope you're enjoying it, however:D_

**Hikaru Utada; **_Japanese female pop idol, famous for a number of works, including the song "Hikari" on the PS2-SquareSoft game "Kingdom Hearts"_

**Misc;** _Just want to make it absolutely clear that Mako-chan (Makoto Kashiwagi) is not Sailor Jupiter (Makoto Kino). Please refer to part five's Author's Notes for details. Silly people._

**Special Thanks** to: **The Fukufics Crew** as usual and **TriMatter**, who provided me with with a few excellent scenes, including the final one. They were so good, I couldn't help but to include them. God help us all if we ever collaborate on a fic together.


	7. Chapter 7 v2

**The Best of Times...**  
_By Ozzallos_  
A Fukufics (dotcom) Prodution

**Part 7**

_"On difficult ground, press on";  
"On encircled ground, devise stratagems";  
"On death ground, fight"_  
--Sun Tzu

_"On fiancée ground, run. Run like hell."_  
--Ranma Saotome

**H**apposai rubbed the knot on his head as the world slowly crept back into existence. Damn that woman can sure dish out the punishment! But it had been worth it. The perverted master pulled out a frilly bra from the folds of his tunic, admiring the pink lacy garment. He replaced the bra and pulled out a pair of similarly shaded panties. Very nice. And the woman herself was _entirely_ worthy of such garments. "I gotta remember to reward the boy for picking a woman with such an outstanding taste in underwear," he though merrily. "All my training must be finally rubbing off on him... Now if only he would wear something this nice," he lamented as he rubbed the panties against his face.

But there was a problem.

_Where the hell am I?_

That was the question of the moment as Happosai took stock of his surroundings, a dense forest framed by an angry, overcast sky. It sure wasn't Nerima, Juuban or even Tokyo for that matter. The old man considered himself the worldly sort, but he was at a loss as to his immediate location. Happosai recalled his final moments in the presence of the green-haired beauty. Letsee, first there was the gropping- Happosai paused with a whistful smile before moving on -then there was her pathetic attempts to beat him off. After that, that annoying 'dead scream' attack of hers. He rubbed his head reflexively, recalling the headache it had produce. Then she waved that staff thing around, the weird gates opened and... The flash of light was blinding? And now he was here? Wherever here was again. Happosai scanned the horizon and happened upon an unusual sight... four heads carved into the side of a granite face... He was in... America? The hottie had transported him to... Mount Rushmore!

Happosai boggled. Not exactly the sort of retaliation he was expecting. Energy blast, sure. Vacation? Um, ok... He oriented on the stone faces and was about ready to begin his walk when a strong power signature closed rapidly on his position. It took less than a second to assess its threat potential and sidestep the inbound assault with apparent disinterest.

"GOTCHA YOU LITTLE LEPRECH--!"

The spiky white-haired youth shot out of the tree line, flew by the old pervert and plowed face first into the ground. The kid hopped up from his crash landing, coughing dust. He shook the impact off and faced the old gnome. "I'm gonna get my wish if it's the last thing I do!"

Happosai arched an eyebrow. Wish? Since when was I giving out wishes? The youth tensed and this time Happi didn't bother to dodge. Instead, he brought his pipe to bear and casually deflected the youth's attack, painfully redirecting it into a nearby tree. "Tsk, tsk! You're gonna have to do better than that, you little twerp!"

The Master took stock of the young boy and his appearance, which was odd to say the least. Well, not necessarily odd, just that he hadn't seen the style in generations... Teen trend combined with.. Ninjitsu styling? In America? The kid smacked his face a couple times to regain feeling to it and faced the master once more. The upstart was as bad as Ranma! But something was wrong here and he needed to find out what...

"Hold on, m'boy."

The youth paused momentarily, staring at the old gnome. "You gonna give me my wish?"

Happosai scritched his chin thoughtfully. "Possibly, possibly. What's you're name, anyway?"

The boy considered him warily. "Jiraiya. Who wants to know?"

"Name's Happosai m'boy, and I need some information." The old Master smiled.

"I gotcher information... For a wish." Happosai sighed. The boy had a one track mind.

"What makes you think I have a wish to give?"

"Yer a leprechaun." The spiky-haired boy rationalized with a shrug. "It's your job."

Happosai blinked. Didn't he need a pot o' gold or something to do that? The Master brushed the youth's misinformed mythology. "Ok, then, what's you're wish?"

Jiraiya's eyes glimmered. "Chicks!"

A smile crept across Happosai's face. The kid may have the attitude of Ranma, but this one may have _potential_. "I think we can come to some sort of an arrangement. Where you from?"

"Konoha, of course."

* * *

"NOW WHERE AM I!" 

Ryoga spun around with a panicked look in his eyes. There was good reason for that look. One moment he had been trudging through downtown Paris, staring at the ancient pyramids, and the next he found himself... here. Wherever here was. Blackness now surrounded the boy as he desperately sought a frame of reference inside the inky void that had found him. And found it-- A huge pair of double doors, intricately carved in wood and stone. Beside them was a tall, lithe woman with green hair streaming down her back. Had Ryoga been any closer, he might have suffered a nosebleed due to the extremely revealing costume she wore. Since she appeared to be the only inhabitant in sight, the lost boy's next course of action was obvious.

"Excuse me, Miss... Do you..."

Sensing his presence for the first time, the woman spun around, the unrestrained breasts within her fuku swaying with the motion. This was not to mention the flash of forbidden naughty bits that were exposed as the skirt's hem rose on the spin. "YOU!" Rage illuminated her eyes like twin shafts of divine light.

?Me? Ryoga took a step back reflexively while holding his nose that tried to explode bloodily. Like Ranma, his senses concerning feminine fury were finely honed... and like Ranma, he tried desperately not to look at the jiggling mounds of female flesh before him.

"I know who sent you!" The woman hissed and brought a heart tipped staff to bear on the lost boy. "First those insane idiots, then the pervert troll and now an assassination attempt!"

"Um, I don't--"

"I've seen hell because of you people!"

Something tugged at the back of Ryoga's psyche with those words, but he couldn't for the life of him remember why. The answer came soon enough. "RYOGA HIBIKI, PREPARE TO DIE!"

Somehow, he just _knew_ this was all Ranma's fault.

* * *

Mamoru Chiba, otherwise known as Tuxedo Kamen clutched his side with one arm while the other gratefully took a bag of ice from a concerned looking Usagi Tsukino. The lumpy bag was immediately applied to black eye. A sigh accompanied the action, an action that only diminished the concern radiating from his girl friend slightly. Each throb of pain forced him to recall the very, very tragic tale that led to his beatdown at the hands of some guy unimaginatively named 'Prince R'. 

It was all going well until he had attempted the punch, only to have it intercepted by the previously unknown Prince. That's when it all went horribly wrong. Sure, the arrival of the weird little youma had given the escalating conflict pause, but only momentarily. The Prince himself seemed to take great delight in watching the troll bounce around after Sailor Pluto and relieve her of her undergarments, but that lasted only moment. Even as Kamen himself stood distracted, the Prince whipped around and completed the move Tux had started, nailing the only male Senshi with vicious right cross that sent him into the nearest wall.

Quite literally _into_ the nearest wall.

Where Tuxedo Kamen's punch had been borne of reflexive anger, Prince R's retaliations was calculated and precise. The stranger's counter attack didn't allow Kamen any time to formulate a battle plan as two more fists burned in through the dust and pulverized his face, depriving him of any real sight. Next came the machine gun to his gut, as if a thousand fists had decided they would try to find a home inside his stomach. All at once. There was enough coherent thought left in his adrenaline drenched brain to unleash a veritable bouquet of high explosive roses, all of which seemed to flow _around_ the Prince as his attacker stepped inside his non-existent guard one more time and unleashed a devastating energy attack at point-blank range.

The next thing he knew he was trying to sit up from within his very own smoldering crater... That was until he felt the heat of a glowing blade at his throat. It looked like it was carved from wood, but the glow had an undeniable lethality emanating from it. Tuxedo Kamen dared not move. The next words he heard beyond the pounding of his own heartbeat were burned in his head...

"When next we meet, you best be a Man among Men."

Chiba Mamoru stared at the crumpled rose, then to the worried Usagi. Man among men. Did men use roses as their main weapon? Did they stand at the back of the battle and snipe their targets with those said roses? Mamoru looked at his future wife once more and decide that changes needed to be made...

...After he could walk again.

* * *

_The tall woman's black fuku wavered in the dawn breeze as she stared into the valley below. The horizon glowed a pinkish hue, but the ageless Senshi's attentions were focused elsewhere. Even as the rising sun banished the last vestiges of night from the painted desert below, her vision focused on the great walled city below. No force had assailed those walls in the memory of any of its occupants, a fact that was about to change. Her gave swept across the valley floor and onto the glinting cloud of dust at the other end, slowly moving like a tide to wash over the impregnable city. The fortress itself was still quiet. Sure, they knew of the force arrayed against them, perhaps the largest in the region, yet it didn't change the facts... The last army to attempt such a feat had been dashed and bloodied against their walls. _

_The rays of dawn cut through the sky and the army began to circle the fortress. Setsuna consulted her internal clock. Right on time. There was little tactical value to the maneuver, but its commander was obeying his instructions to the letter. The army halted and slowly the cloud of dust they had created blew across the horizon. _

_The Commander of the Israeli Army pressed a horn to his lips and blew, its trumpeting echoing around the canyon._

"_Dead Scream."_

_The battlements shattered in a flash of light, creating an avalanche that began tearing chunks out of the walls of wholesale, replacing the departing cloud of dust with one of it's one. Within minutes, the breaches were substantial enough that the foreign contingent could begin their assault, pouring through the rubble and getting down to the business of sacking an impregnable city._

_The Senshi of Time nodded with satisfaction. The Walls of Jericho had just come tumbling down._

Ranma tossed restlessly in his sleep... The visions continued.

_...She snuggled below the bearskin covers and melted into the Scotsman's embrace, totally prepared to make the most of what would be their last night together. He was, of course, totally confident on the outcome of tomorrow's battle as any noble Scotsman would be, but Setsuna Meiou was the mistress of time and knew the future. She wanted desperately to stave off tomorrow, but there was destiny to consider. After tonight, destiny would snatch her lover from her arms. She mounted him once more and the two rocked away in the night, hoping to drowned out the the reality that she shouldn't even be there loving him, let alone expose herself to world to such a degree._

_But she was lonely... So lonely._

_Morning came all too quickly and Pluto watched as her lover mount his horse, clad in armor with a traditional Scottish claymore strapped to his back. She stayed behind, watching from the walls as his company departed down the cobblestone path, young maidens in tow. Soon, her lover would be dead and entangled in a quest of immortality that would only end in a pool of blood and beheadings, which in turn would jeopardize her mission. Now it was time to let him go from her arms and into the arms of destiny._

_And once again she would be alone..._

The pigtailed boy shifted uncomfortably...

_...A fine layer of dust drifted from the ceiling as the bunker rocked again, the result of the dull thuds shifting the earth above it. Everything occupying the ground above the structure had been reduced to component rubble as tens of thousands of pounds of ordinance were dropped on the city. Black clad officers braced at their stations another five hundred pound bomb detonated atop their position. Luckily there was three feet of rock between them and the resultant detonation. No, it would take more than a mere daylight bombing raid to shatter the last remnants of the Third Reich's command structure... Or kill its leader._

_Three hundred feet may have been enough to protect against the allied attack, but it wasn't enough to protect the various functionaries, generals and one Adolph Hitler from The Mistress of Time itself. The air shuttered inside the bunker and one of the more alert SS trench coats whirled around, bringing a machine gun to bear on the fuku-clad Senshi. Setsuna looked upon him with pity and willed time to slow down. Other guards reacted now, but their movements were far too slow for the green-haired woman who was now moving well in advance of real time. The heart-tipped staff she bore flared with power and the next thing the bunker's occupants saw was a soldier torn in half by a formless blur. The machine guns cackled in the troopers futile attempts to his the blur, while the officers began to pull their own sidearms in a futile effort to hit something. In the end, both soldiers and officers did end up hitting someone in the small confines of the bunker... Each other. Those that weren't cut down by the blurring flare of power managed to hit their own in the gun storm of flying bullets. Five minutes later, only one man stood alive within the structure._

"_I told you I would be coming for you if you continued this nonsense." Sailor Pluto's gaze bore into the cowering mustachioed man. She took a step forward, and kicked a bullet ridden chair from her path. The leader of the German war machine nodded, his hand floated down to his belt, and the gun that waited there. _

"_And I told you what would happen to you if I had to come for you." Another nod, this one accompanied by the sound of pistol sliding out of its leather holster. The Senshi twirled the Key of Time around menacingly and took another step forward. There was no mistaking the lethal intent in her eyes... and more. _

_The gun came up slowly..._

_...To his chin..._

_

* * *

_  
The gunshot jarred Ranma from his fitful sleep and he bolted upright for the second time that night. Tonight, he was alone save the disquieting memories that refused to give him any measure of peace. As if the Sailors last stand at Mars hadn't been bad enough... Just what the hell was this woman! Ranma sent a hard fist into his futon and cursed silently.

He was in dire need of answers, and it has time to get them.

Chibi Usa waved her daily farewell to Usagi as she and the rest of the sailor parted company to engage in the annoying practice known as school. Not that she really needed the education, having already received a fine one in the future, just she had so many friends there these days. The pink haired Senshi from the future would have rather accompanied her mother and friends to _their_ school, but appearances need to be kept up, which meant faking it in as a thirteen year old girl.

Book bag in hand, Chibi walked along the sidewalk while admiring the beautiful day, when somebody stepped out in front of her. Somebody she knew. Somebody with menacing blue eyes and red locks of hair.

"BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH—MMmf!"

No sooner had the laughter erupted from her lips, that a hand slapped across her mouth which in turn was accompanied by a fairly annoyed look. The best Chibi could do was blink in surprise before she was whisked into the redheads' arms and suddenly found herself on a nearby rooftop seconds later... Specifically, the very edge of the rooftop.

Chibi Usa glanced down at the ground nervously. It didn't help she was a good eight stories up. "Um, uh... What can I do for you, uh, Yumei?"

Ranma's eyes narrowed sharply on the girl. "You know who I am."

"Uh.. heheh.. Yeah?"

The redhead stepped forward, glowering. "My name."

Chibi Usa bit her lip nervously. "Ranma Saotome?"

Ranma nodded. "Now how do you _know_ that name?"

"Um, I'm from the future?" The pink haired girl produced a weak grin.

"Wrong answer." Ranma stuck out a finger and poked Chibi, sending her off balance ever so slightly. Her curls bounced around as she flailed to regain her balance on the ledge. "You know stuff about me. _Specific_ stuff. How?"

The girl regained her balance and gaped at the redhead with wide eyes. "Ican'tsaypleasedon'thurtmeIwasonlyhavingfunIcan'ttellyouyet!"

Ranma arched an eyebrow skeptically as Chibi nearly lapsed into sobs. "Alright! Alright!" Damn my weakness for womanly sobbing, Ranma thought with a sigh as Chibi seemed to regain some semblance of composure. "Ok then... Lets talk about the dreams I've been having."

"I really shouldn't..."

_Poke._

"Eeeeek!" Chibi squealed as she teetered on the ledge of the building once more.

Ranma withdrew the finger. "I _really_ want to know about the dreams." There was no mistaking the tone of her voice. It wasn't a request she was making.

"Ok! Ok!" Chibi Usa was on the verge of hyperventilation, her eyes fixed on the sidewalk below. "It's the sword!"

Ranma blinked. "The sword?"

"You made a wish!" Small Lady supplied quickly, fearing yet another poke. "The sword is fulfilling that wish quite literally!"

Ranma considered this new information and swore beneath her breath. "Dammit, I don't wanna know the life and time of Setsuna Meiou! I don't want to know she kicked dictator ass and I sure as hell don't want to know anything about her _love life!_" The redhead shivered as she remembered the pleasure quite vividly. It hadn't been with just one partner, and it sure as hell wasn't helping that she was wearing her girl body at the moment. One thing was for certain, however... After a few centuries of practice, saying that she was _skilled_ was an understatement. Ranma growled and shook the memories away. She had been battling them all morning, and fortunately for her, there was an equal number of unpleasant memories to draw from... Like the unending, nearly insurmountable loneliness of her post.

Ranma pulled her from the ledge, bringing Chibi nose to nose. "More. I want more information about what's happening."

"_I caaaaan't!_" Chibi nearly whined, grating against Ranma's nerves and sympathy.

"Why not?"

"Don't make me mess up the future, please Uncle Ranma!" Now she _was_ whining and Ranma let her go on reflex. Damn the crying! "If I tell you too much, it'll change things!"

The words 'Uncle Ranma' all but begged to be explained, but Ranma passed on it in a sheer act of will power. Her life was already bad enough. The last thing she wanted to do was screw up the future as well. "Alright, alright. Stop yer cryin'. I won't ask. Just stop teasin' me, kay?"

The tears evaporated instantly "Thank you, Uncle!" Ranma endured the crushing hug, thankful that it wasn't yet another fiancée glomp.

Ranma sighed. "Yeah, yeah. Off to school with you." With that, she stepped off the roof and disappeared from the ledge.

Chibi stood there for a moment, recovering when sudden realization hit her...

...Like how in the world was _she_ suppose to get down?

* * *

Ranma gave himself a final check before stepping onto the dojo property, ensuring there was no Sailor paraphernalia remaining on his person before twisting the doorknob and admitting himself back into the chaotic roller coaster known as his regular life. The Saotome mentally congratulated himself. He had gone an entire day without a Setsuna retaliatory event. Sure, there was the standard fare with the fiancées that she had already set in motion, but nothing new. The only thing he could glean from this was that his own countermeasures were working as advertised. Ranma was getting to know his opponent intimately- he cringed at the sudden mental picture. _Bad _choice of wording -and knew how smart she was. Set-_chan_ had to know it by now which meant things would likely be coming to a head sometime in the near future. 

The martial artist smiled. He was itching for a direct confrontation, as opposed to all this sneakin' around. But by the time he was done with her, she would be more than willing to stop sulking in the shadows. Ranma stepped into the house and clutched the only remaining piece of Sailor paraphernalia on her person, a paper square.

"Hey Kas-chan! Catch!" Ranma flipped the small square through the air at Kasumi, who had just set down a dinner plate. A delicate arm snapped up, catching the the square in midair, a testament to her father's original conditioning of his daughters. Kasumi blinked and looked at her catch. Eyes widened. A jaw dropped. Nabiki watched the reaction from across the room and walked over to Ranma. Kasumi was still frozen, but a slight 'mewing' could be heard from her person.

"You broke my sister, Ranma." Nabiki stared with increasing wonder at the reaction. Kasumi's eyes were still locked unflinchingly on the square, mouth hanging open. She stepped over to the entranced girl and looked at the find herself. It was a photo with writing scrawled across it. "To Kasumi, a sister of love and justice..." Nabiki blinked. "Love, Sailor Moon?"

"OH MY!" Kasumi exclaimed in a most un-Kasumi like squeal. She hopped around the table with more energy than anybody had seen in years, and Ranma was crushed for the second time that day. "Thank you, Ran-chan!" Two kisses landed themselves on each of Ranma's cheeks and she pulled back to stare at the glossy photo once more. "How in the world did you get this?"

"Oh, I have my secrets." Ranma grinned and Nabiki was instantly at his side.

"Not from me, you don't." An hand latched onto Ranma's arm and Nabiki proceeded to drag the pigtailed boy upstairs and into her room. The door slammed shut and clicked with the lock. "Spill it, Ranma. I want your source. Ranma?" It took her a moment to notice that Ranma was now completely frozen his reactions similar to Kasumi's as he took slow stock of Nabiki's room. "What, haven't you ever seen of Prince R?"

Ranma had seen Prince R before. He had just never seen Prince R in such... quantity. It was like he had entered the twilight zone and that twilight zone was inhabited by parodies of himself, who happened to be the boy-toy idol of Nabiki Tendo. It was even creepier than Akane's room. "Uh, heh... You're a Prince R fan?"

"No, I just have his pictures up her because they match my bedsheets." Nabiki replied testily. "Unlike you, he's suave and sophisticated... And a total hunk." Nabiki smiled dreamily for a brief moment, before it was submerged below her game face. "Where'd you get the autograph, Saotome?"

"Can't tell ya." His eyes flicked from wall to wall.

"I'm sure you could if I told certain people about your cross dressing habits." Nabiki countered, applying pressure.

"Nope." Ranma crossed his arms, affecting a cool demeanor. Truth was that he was sweating bullets on the inside.

Nabiki cast a icy glare at him. It was worth a try. Besides, everybody already knew she occasionally blackmailed him into dress-up photo shoots anyway. It was a weak threat at best. "Ok then, how about a deal then?"

"Deal?" Ranma asked warily, not all that happy at the prospect of shaking hands with the devil's accountant _again_.

"Sure." Nabiki smiled. A shark couldn't have done better. "You can work off your debt by providing me with autographs." Ranma winced. "And a bonus if you can get me a Prince R autograph."

The pigtailed boy rubbed his head and groaned. This was _not_ happening...

* * *

Yumei Ikari-Ranma smiled as she joined her sisters in arms, the Sailor Senshi for the night meeting. Well, most of them were sisters in arms. Haruka and Michiru weren't on speaking terms with her... Or each other, ironically. Both women sat on opposite sides of the room, glaring at each other. Yumei-Ranma could barely suppress a smile. As amusing as the little cold war was, there was something that amused her even more... 

Setsuna Meiou sat off to the side, trying her best to look calm and collected, which might have fooled the average person. Unfortunately, she wasn't around average people and Ranma noted the difference straight away. While her condition wasn't nearly as bad as the Senshi's last meeting, the results of Ranma's handiwork were showing in that her normally meticulously styled green hair was frazzled. The bags under her eyes told the story as well. Even her dress was more conservative in nature. Yumei Ranma wasn't much better from Setsuna's attentions, but unlike her, she floated on the high of payback as Ami called the meeting to order.

The cobalt blue haired girl glanced nervously at the Outers as she coughed politely, gaining everybody's undivided attention. "I've been able to analyze the data from the other Mercury Link." The Senshi watched intently as she set her link to the Mercury super computer on room's central table. She pressed a small button and the unit's holographic display came to life, the air above it shimmering into the visage of a long wire frame tube that flared open at both ends. "This is a model of the wormhole the youma are using to gain access to our universe. The different colors represent the numerous subspace bands the hole drops through before exiting the other side."

"You would know all about the other side, wouldn't you, _Haruka?_" Michiru's glare bore down on the Senshi of Uranus who's eyes widened at the implication.

"I had nothing to do with that!" Haruka protested. "_He_ kissed _me!_"

Sailor Neptune crushed a pillow on the couch she sat. "I didn't exactly see you resist, hmm?" Haruka's jaw dropped.

"Now listen here!"

"He is quite a catch, '_Ruka-chan_." Yumei added with a sweet smile, which earned a withering glare from the Senshi. Not that she had time to follow up on it.

"Damn straight!" Minako piped up in a mixture of awe and venom. "And damned if we'll let you take the first straight hottie to come along in ages!" Some of the other Inners nodded in agreement. Yumei's smile broadened.

"Yes, I'm sure he won't mind you warming his bed tonight," Michiru stated with considerable frost. "Because it sure won't be mine."

"Um, guys...?" Ami attempted to break the angst. "About the wormhole?"

"It's obviously already been taken care of." Michiru grumbled, staring straight at Haruka.

"WHAT WAS THAT!" Haruka stood up, stalking over to the person who was rapidly becoming her ex-girlfriend.

"I think you know exactly what--"

"_ENOUGH!_"

Setsuna's delicate china cup full of tea hit the end table with enough force to put crack in it. "I have had a _very bad_ week and the last thing I need from you _children_ is to be bickering over that asinine pervert Prince R, let alone watching you draw straws as to who gets to screw him!"

It was an even better emotional breakdown than Yumei-Ranma ever could have hoped for in front of the Senshi, and she desperately fought off the maniacal cackling that would have normally accompanied her victory. As it was, she would just have to settle for the stares and massive rounds of sweatdrops rolling off the heads of the remaining Sailors. The Uranus-Neptune cold war was icing on the cake.

"Uh, right." Ami commented, scratching her head with embarrassment. "The different subspace bands are what would prevented us from forcing our own entry into the pocket universe, but now that we've been able to map out an open portal, we can duplicate the route in ourselves."

"Ok, so we can get in now..." Usagi observed, and Ranma followed up on her unspoken question.

"...but what's on the other side?"

"This." Ami tapped another key, the rainbow colored tube was replaced by a large bubble with what appeared to be a floating island taking up most of its volume. The hologram rotated slowly and zoomed in on the island.

"An island?" Hotaru asked quietly, to which Ami nodded.

"Exactly. The island itself takes up roughly half the pocket universe, but that's not the interesting part." Ami explained as the hologram continued to zoom. Seconds later, structures could be seen on the island surface. At it's center was a large spiky ball, whose incandescent rainbow coloration stood out from the rest of the structures.

"Why aren't I gonna like the interesting part?" Rei grumbled, and Setsuna stepped forward.

"Because what you are looking at is a leftover." Pluto stated in a matter of fact tone, credibly covering her earlier lapse.

"Leftover?" Makoto mimed skeptically. Yumei and half the other sailors shared that skepticism. Ranma had seen leftovers. Normally they weren't stored in a pocket universe. Nor did they produce soul eating demons. Well, unless it was Akane's cooking, the martial artist-turned-Senshi ammended. That stuff was capable of anything.

"Leftovers." Setsuna confirmed. "From the data we've obtained, this facility was built by our dearly departed friend, Mistress 9." Her voice was heavily laden with sarcasm.

"Gone, but not forgotten." Moon commented dryly, and Ami continued for Pluto.

"It looks to be a giant manufacturing complex," She reported as the hologram cruised above the surface of the island, focusing on the buildings. "And from what has been coming through the portholes, a giant youma manufacturing complex."

"You've got to be kidding..."Minako breathed. Ami nodded.

"From what we've seen so far, I think it's safe to assume their primary export is youma." Ami continued. "Big youma, small youma, super youma..."

"Youma chicken, stir fried youma, youma steak..." Yumei dead-panned, counting the dishes off on her fingers.

"Uh, yeah. Pretty much." Ami said with indifference, while the rest of the Senshi looked at the redhead with slight incredulity. "Pluto and I pretty much agree it's still in the first stage of activation, since the volume of demons coming through has been steadily increasing."

"Nine is still alive?" Hotaru whispered, to which Usagi put a comforting hand on her shoulder. The Senshi of Saturn had good reason to be worried. Mistress 9 and in turn Pharaoh 90 had made the girls' life a living hell.

"Not a chance." Pluto waved the possibility aside. "Her time line is dead. Check it out myself. This..." She gestured to the hologram. "is a contingency."

Ami picked up on the blank looks and explained. "We believe that Mistress 9 had other projects in the works should her primary plans using Pharaoh 90 fail. As it is, we believe the complex was programmed to go live pending direct orders or..."

"...her death." Haruka finished, and both Ami and Setsuna nodded.

"Scorched earth." Yumei stated, earning another round of nods.

"That's what we were thinking." Ami replied.

"It gets worse."

All eyes shifted back to Setsuna. "You've undoubtedly noticed this..." She gestured to the spiky orb at the island's center. The mercury link interpreted the movement, and zoomed in on the structure. "This just happens to be the the power source of the pocket universe."

"We aren't going to like this, are we?" Chibi Usa realized quietly, speaking for the first time.

"Unfortunately, no." Ami replied. "It's a reactor. A reactor comprised of entirely pure heart crystals."

The room let loose a collective gasp. "How many...?" Usagi asked in a hushed whisper.

"Approximately eight thousand." Ami replied in a similarly hushed voice.

Usagi's reaction was totally unexpected. "WHERE THE _HELL_ DID SHE GET THEM ALL!" The future Princess was on her feet now, gaping at the hologram, then turned to Setsuna. "I thought we were successful in preventing these sort of incursions! What the hell have we been doing all this time!"

Pluto understood her reaction all to well. The loss of life that reactor represented was simply... staggering. After all, you had to go through a lot of people to find just _one_ pure heart crystal, let alone..."I've done some... research, you Highness." For some reason it seemed more appropriate to call Usagi by her official title given the gravity of the situation. "There was no way we could have covered all the bases. Europe. The United States. South America. She was... careful."

The Princess continued staring. "So what do we do about it...?" Rei asked in a hushed voice.

"Simple. We take it out." Yumei-Ranma stated, an edge of steel accompanying her proclamation. Even through the act she had been engaged in, there was no way she could ignore her code, and mass murder demanded decisive action.

"Oh?" Haruka raised a skeptical eyebrow. "And just how do you propose we do that? Can't exactly glass the place from the inside, remember?"

"Actually, that's exactly what we were planning on doing." Attention turned back to Ami. "Setsuna managed to locate a stash of weaponry sealed in stasis... It's contents include a few boxes of small arms, some power armor- weaker than our suits -a few plasma artillery pieces and..." She paused, her eyes shifting nervously, "...one tactical Elerium warhead."

"You mean we have a nuke?" Sailor Venus squealed.

"Would have loved to have found that sooner..." Moon growled, a sentiment most of the Senshi shared. None of them could count the number of time when they would have loved to have stuffed an original honest-to-god Moon Kingdom weapon of mass destruction down one of their opponents throats. It would have shortened so _many_ disagreements.

"Well, we have it now." Pluto pointed out, to which Usagi only nodded. "Still, it's not going to be as easy as setting a timer and shoving it through the wormhole. If we want to destroy everything, we have to destroy the PHC reactor."

"Which is protected by an _extremely_ powerful energy shield." Ami added and the Mercury link added a transparent bubble around the reactor to the hologram. Some of her audience groaned. She couldn't blame them. It was about to get even better. "Which means... we have to go in, drop the shield, plant the bomb and get out before the timer runs down. A Death Reborn at point-blank range should do the trick."

"Through a universe full of super-youma, right?" Michiru commented with something less than a question.

"So where is this nuke?" Yumei asked casually, setting her glass of tea on the table after a sip.

"Under the table." Pluto comment just as casually, and Yumei's eyes widened. She pulled the cup back _very_ slowly. Ami stepped over and removed the Mercury link from the surface, folding it up with a light click. She pulled the lacy table clothe up and there it was, plain as day under the table's glass surface. The weapon was about the size of a backpack and the shape of a smooth silver oval.

"Smaller than I was expecting." Haruka observed, and Ami nodded.

"That represents approximately one gigaton's worth of fire-power." The cobalt haired Senshi elaborated. "Twenty grams of Elerium 115, no radioactive bi-products. It'll wipe out everything in the pocket universe, provided we take the shield out first."

"I still can't believe the Moon Kingdom had this sort of firepower..." Makoto breathed, eyeing the silver weapon nervously.

"Had em and used em." Yumei-Ranma interjected, drawing on Setsuna's memories of the Kingdom's last stand involuntarily. "Got really nasty toward the end." Pluto nodded with agreement as the exact same images were conjured within her mind's eye as well. Apparently their memories were still more complete than the rest of the Senshi. A look passed between the two, and for the briefest moment, total comprehension existed between the two women. They had both seen the bloody end of an era, and it hadn't been a pleasant experience.

"How does it work?" Usagi asked, leaning over the device.

"Voice activated." Ami replied. "Simply feed it the armament codes and set a timer, that easy." The girls looked at each other expectantly. After a minute, Ami spoke first. "You _do_ have the codes, don't you?"

Moon blinked. "Why would I have the codes! I'm a princess, not a queen or a general!" She turned to Pluto with the same expectant look.

"Don't look at me." She held up her hands. "Not to worry, however. The cats will have them."

Yumei's eyes widened suddenly. "Artemis, Luna...?" Usagi called, and the two cats padded into the room. The redhead otherwise known as Sailor Nova watched the cats cross the room, then pause. Their eyes turned on her.

"I don't believe we've been introduced," The black cat said politely, hopping up on the table in front Yumei. "I'm Luna and this is Artemis." The white cat followed, inclining his head gracefully.

"Of course, we know who you are." Artemis stated, smiling. "We were under the impression that none of the Queen's Own made it forward. Do you remember us?"

Oh, Yumei-Ranma remembered them alright. She only had Setsuna's memories stuffed into her head sideways, and with them, the knowledge of Queen Serenity's advisers. There was, of course, only one problem with this equation. They were _cat_ advisers. Anybody who knew Ranma Saotome could have predicted her next response with absolute clarity.

Yumei sat frozen, fear pooling in her eyes. "Maybe she _doesn't_ remember us..." Luna commented, leaning forward with interest. Another minute of silence ground by.

"Um, Yumei?" Usagi nudged her body guard, slightly concerned by her frozen state. She was looking for a reaction, and unfortunately got one.

"Cu...Cu...Cu..." Yumei began to stutter, eyes locked onto the felines.

"Starts with a 'C'?" Makoto queried cheerfully.

"How many vowels?" Rei inquired.

"Is it bigger than a pound of butter?" Minako asked, and suddenly found all eyes on her. "What?"

All eyes, except Yumei's, of course. "Cu... Cu... CATS!" She burst and attention promptly returned to her as she backed up on to the couch she had sat at. Her tea cup fell to the floor and both felines winced at the proclamation. "_Talking Cats!_" The redhead amended in horror, as if it were somehow relevant to the terror coursing through her brain.

"Uh, yes?" Luna confirmed the fact that they were indeed cats.

"DAMN CATS!" Ranma bolted upright as some unseen gears shifted in her brain, diluting the mixture of fear with a healthy dose of hate. The cats in question were now backing up.

"You don't suppose she's still angry about that prank we pulled on the guards that night when..." Artemis commented as he slowly backed away.

Luna's whiskers twitched as she mirrored his movements. "God, I hope not..."

The fact that they were talking cats was perhapses the only thing that kept Ranma rooted in place and not running for the hills. Unfortunately, the irrational fear was quickly being replaced by another emotion altogether as she stepped of the couch, stalking the retreating advisers. "I HATE cats!" The other Senshi began to back away as the redhead's temper spiraled out of control. They had all seen what she could do and weren't looking for any piece of it.

All but two of them.

Moon attached a light hand onto Yumei's shoulder in an attempt to restrain her friend. "Um, they're Moon Kingdom advisers, Yumei-chan! They're nice, honest!"

Yumei-Ranma turned on Usagi suddenly, and the blond found her captured in the redhead's incandescent gaze. "No they're not! They're CATS!" She hissed and Usagi's eyes widened. "They say they're your friends, but they're not! One minute you're petting them and the next you'll find yourself wrapped in fish sausage and served up for dinner!"

"Wrapped in..." Setsuna's attention suddenly focused.

"Scheming, maniacal, diabolical CATS!" Ranma confirmed, whipping back around to the cats in question. The ghostly blue visages of ki blades formed along Yumei's knuckles, rippling to life. "Ain't no cats gonna serve me for dinner again!"

"What the hell are those!" Haruka stared incredulously at the energy weapons forming at the girl's hands.

"Usagi, step away from her." Setsuna ordered and transformed without the usual stylistic flare. The action surprised the princess enough that she did step away from the redhead, who continued to advance on Artemis and Luna.

Makoto interposed herself between Yumei and the cornered cats. "Now look, Yumei, i'm not so sure..."

"_Dead Scream."_

The line of energy flashed across the room and hit Yumei dead on, blowing her into and through several interior walls before exiting the building entirely. The other girls simply stared in disbelief as Sailor Pluto completed the attack and calmly stepped through the smoldering hole she had just created and into the outside air. Usagi was right on her heels.

"Why in the world did you do _that?_" She yelled, unable to believe such an escalation had taken place. Sure, Yumei could rub people the wrong way, but... "I'm sure we could have--"

"'Yumei' is not who she seems." Pluto stated with a demeanor that hovered just above sub-zero temperatures. She stepped over the burning remains of a couch and into the outside air. A trench smoking rubble indicated the redhead's departure vector. "He's been playing us all this time!"

"He?" The rest of the Senshi were recovering from the sudden shock, filtering outside to watch the impending fight. Ami's face was similar to that of Moon's. "What are you talking about! You didn't have to--"

Pluto paused in her advance down the smoldering trench. "Yumei Ikari is actually Ranma Saotome, one of the largest chaos generators I have ever encountered." She explained without turning around. The Senshi scanned the trench for her victim. "If Crystal Tokyo is to survive, he's going to have to be eliminated."

Usagi's thought process was suddenly racing, Yumei's warning jumping like lightening through her brain. "But can't we--"

"No." Setsuna replied tersely, cutting off the princess mid-sentence. "You don't realize how dangerous this person is. We can't risk having a loose cannon like him running around."

"And who made you judge, jury and executioner again?" A female voice asked from the smoke. A glowing redhead stepped out of the charred, black trench, ready for war.

"_Queen Serenity."_ Setsuna replied, her voice devoid of emotion.

"Oh that's right, Miss 'fifth in line to the throne of Pluto'" Ranma commented sarcastically, wiping a trickle of blood from her lip. "But I don't recall mass murder being part of her agenda."

Pluto blinked. The girl shouldn't have known that.

"What?" Usagi yelped in horror. Her eyes went from Pluto to Ranma and back.

"I've only done whatever was necessary to protect Crystal Tokyo." Sailor Pluto replied. "You, on the other hand, are not only a force that may destroy it, but you've betrayed every person here."

Moon was beginning to feel like her head was on a swivel as she stared back at Ranma now. "Is that true?"

Ranma's glow faded slightly. "Yeah it is. Ya deserve the truth I guess." The redhead retrieved her thermos from weapons space and uncapped it. "My real name is Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts." As if to punctuated the fact, Ranma upturned the thermos over her head and produced a black-haired boy with blue eyes.

"You've gotta be kidding..." Rei breathed softly. "He's a hunk!"

Makoto blinked. "He's a Starlight?"

"He's Prince R!" Minako proclaimed, stars in her eyes.

"He's Prince R!" Michiru and Haruka gasped simultaneously.

"Oh God, my head hurts." Ami moaned while Chibi unsuccessfully suppressed a giggle.

"But... Why?" Usagi asked as the group's sudden realizations began to dog pile her.

"Ask her why." The glow around the now male Ranma increased in intensity. "Ask her why she's made the last three years of my life a living hell. Ask her _why_ I had to put us through all this just force a confrontation!"

"Because you'll destroy everything I worked so damn hard for!" Setsuna's screamed as she blew her top. "DEAD SCREAM!"

This time Ranma was ready for it, and slid out sideways to avoid the lethal ray of energy. If he hadn't been moving so fast, the Sailors would have notice a hard-edged smile. Finally, it was time to end this farce and her meddling. Ranma cut in and delivered three hard kicks to Setsuna's midsection, followed by a roundhouse to the head. The Senshi's fuku armor did it's job and absorbed most of the impact before the ki blast hit seconds later at point blank range.

"_Möko Takabisha!" _

The blast impacted Setsuna hard, blasting her back into the section of temple they had just exited. Like Ranma before, she tore a hole through the walls and suddenly found herself in the shrine courtyard. Sailor Pluto shook it off and looked up just in time to find Ranma airborne above, twisting into what was sure to be devastating combo.

"Space Sword Blaster!" Ranma had just enough time to perform an aerial twist and avoid the inbound blade of light that sliced past him. He landed off target and Setsuna rolled out, recovering into a guarded stance beside a transformed Sailor Uranus.

"Neptune planet power, make up!" Michiru's sea green hair floated in the air as her transformation processed. The light show faded and Sailor Neptune stepped up beside Pluto and Uranus. "I think a little bit of payback is in order, don't you, hun?"

"Definitely." Sailor Uranus growled. The joke had been on them, and they _weren't_ happy campers at the moment.

"Three against one!" Minako whined as the trio readied their next assault. "I'm won't let you hurt the cutie! Venus power, _make up!_"

"Same here!" Rei yelled. "Mars power, make up!"

A sweat drop rolled off the side of Ranma's head as the two Inners took up flanking positions at her back.

"You've got to be kidding..." Ami groaned, rubbing her temples once more.

"Do something, Moon!" Hotaru called to the blond, who stood dumbfounded with Makoto. Chibi Usa cackled from the sidelines.

Ranma glanced at his escort. "No offense, but this is between me and her." Pluto's gaze narrowed on the martial artist, and she nodded at her Outers, who in turn took a step back. This was a private vendetta.

"_Chronos Typhoon!" _The Time Key twirled in her hands and a gust of lethal wind blew forth as Setsuna took the offensive. Ranma was already in the air and over the attack, twisting into another devastating aerial combo that promised to hurt if it connected. Setsuna wasn't about to let that happen. She concentrated and local time slowed around her. She side-stepped his landing and renewed her own offensive with the staff, whipping it through a graceful attack that could only be obtain through centuries of practice. To everybody else, the Senshi seemed to suddenly speed up and to anybody else, the technique might have proved decisive. To Ranma Saotome, however, she was finally a challenge. The pigtailed boy avoided a few more arcs when suddenly Setsuna's staff bit hard against a solid object, sparks shattering down it's length.

The the Staff of Time just met the Staff of Ascension.

Pluto pulled back suddenly in the face of the lethal new threat. "Forgot about this, huh?" Ranma smirked, twirling his own weapon around now. The two circled one another menacingly."Stop screwin' with my life and you can walk away with all yer bones unbroken."

"You're the one who won't be walking away, Saotome." Setsuna growled and dropped back into a fighting stance.

"ENOUGH!"

Ranma and Setsuna paused in their initial lunge as the enraged female voice rolled over them, both removing their eyes from one another ever so carefully to find the source. Across from them stood Sailor Moon, fully transformed and totally pissed. Silver Millennium power washed over both combatants, ensuring their undivided attention.

"Sailor Pluto, you will stop this nonsense right now!" The furious girl ordered in a tone that could not dare be disputed and it was one of those rare moments when there was no question as to whose daughter she was. "I don't know what all you've been doing to keep Crystal Tokyo going, but it doesn't sound befitting a soldier of love and justice! From now on, any decisions you make go through _me_ first, _do you understand!_" Setsuna nodded involuntarily. "And as for you, Yumei, Ranma or whatever your name is... I don't appreciate being deceived and manipulated!" Ranma began to protest weakly only to cut off. "No, hush! Now after what we've been through, I have to wonder if you really are our ally!" The smoldering glare that swept across their persons would have been enough to reduce them to cinders outright if it had actual substance. "Now both of you will stop fighting and apologize to each other!"

They both stared at Moon in disbelief.

"Apologize..?" Setsuna gasped.

"To her!" Ranma twitched.

"NOW!" Sailor Moon growled, a slight glow of menacing power accompanying the order.

Ranma looked at the black fuku clad women standing across from him. He ground his teeth down. "Sorry."

"Yeah. Sorry." Pluto replied, her tone equally forced. Neither of their faces said they were sorry.

"Better." Moon frowned. "I'll deal with you both_ later_." both Setsuna and Ranma shivered at the thought. The bumbling blond apparently could be quite the disaplinarian when nessisary. "For now, we have better things to fight than each other."

"Um, about that..." Ami said tentatively, not exactly eager to earn the ire of her Princess at the moment.

"Hmm?" Usagi arched an eyebrow.

"The Mercury Computer is saying that at our current force levels, we only have a 32.8 percent chance of success." She replied softly.

"Damn." Usagi whispered. It was a sentiment shared by everybody present. "Not that we have much of a choice."

Ranma stared at the group in front of him. In the past month he had infiltrated them, manipulated them and outright lied to them, all in the name of payback. Yet somehow they had become his friends, he realized. I may not be Sailor Nova anymore, Ranma thought to himself, but that doesn't really change a thing. There was his code as a martial artist to consider and he'd be damned if he'd let them go in alone, screw the odds.

"How long until we go?"

A small smile crept to Usagi's face. All eyes turned on Ami. "I can have the exact path into the pocket universe nailed down within the week, say, Friday."

Ranma nodded and hopped up to the shrine's rooftop. "Where you going?" Pluto asked, a small measure of hostility leaking into her voice.

The martial artist turned his back on the Senshi below. "To call in some favors."

* * *

Friday morning. The dew was still standing on the grass as the Senshi waited for their adopted twelth team member. The suns' rays crept over the shrine walls while monks went about their business, all but oblivious to the Sailor's business. 

"He ditched us." Haruka stated in a grumpy tone. "Might as well leave without him."

"Ranma will be here." Pluto replied, earning her a skeptical look. "I may not like him, but if there is one thing I do know about him, it's that he always keeps his word. It's one of the things that makes Saotome so damn dangerous."

"Damn right."

The new voice drew the sailors attention, and they found its owner balanced lightly on the outer shrine wall, wielding the Staff of Ascension. Beside Ranma was a boy of approximately the same type, clad in a faded yellow tunic and matching tiger striped bandanna. To his left, an ancient looking woman balanced on a staff who nodded graciously at the Senshi, flanked by a younger woman and her scimitar. Her long purple hair floated in the morning in the breeze. On the elders opposite side was a white robed young man sporting coke bottle thick glasses. To Ranma's left stood a girl with long, dark pink hair who "meowed" a greeting. The blue and white school uniform and fangs were her distinctive features.

"Who the hell are they?" Michiru wondered somewhat sarcastically. An "Oh shit" from Pluto was her reply.

"Ranma?" Moon left the question hand, earning her a lopsided grin.

"Ladies, I'd like to present to you the Nerima Wrecking Crew."

* * *

**Authors notes;**

As you can see, I've been steadily winding up the tension here as more plot comes to bear. I know this has been a funny pissing match from the beginning, but I've also intended there to be a point to it all from the beginning as well. Hope everybody can hang with my writing style, as you've been a great audience so far. Two more parts to go.

**Elerium-115; **_An element that, when bombarded by certain particles, produces graviton waves and large amounts of energy. It is not found naturally on Earth._

**Ukyo, Akane; **_These two weren't included in the final scene as I don't consider them major players, especially when confronted with a universe of super youma. Even if they somehow were powerful enough, I judge that neither has the killer instinct nessisary to be a credible force in the coming engagement.__I've heard arguments for and against, and am rolling with this one. _**  
**

**Special Thanx** _to Delta-Theta, my part-time Sailor-Moon database, TriMatter and the FukuFics crew, as always._

Assault on the Wormhole _begins_.

Changes: v2- bouquet correctly spelled, scottish claymore repositioned, further ANs added, the 'dark pink haired girl's' ID clarified.


	8. Chapter 8 v1

**The Best of Times...**  
_By Ozzallos_  
A fukufics (dotcom) production

**Part 8**

"**G**ot it!" Kyouko exclaimed, adjusting the display at her gunner's position behind the pilot. "Massive energy reading at one-one-five mark oh-eight-three, ten kilometers!"

The proclamation caused the pilot to produce a feral grin as she fingered the red flight helmet, flipping a shaded visor down. Arisa pulled the stick around and Poison Nine slewed through the morning sky as its nose found the new vector. "How many we got, Kyo-chan?"

The blond studdied her panel carefully. "The signature is a mess... We're gonna have to get closer."

Arisa nodded. "Right. Make the call."

"Poison Nine to Backstop, targets acquired," The gunner keyed her mic, opening a channel back to base. "Requesting a go-nogo."

"Ryu-chan?" The simple question crackled back in the form of a hard-edged female voice.

"Negative, still with Doctor Natsume." Kyouko confirmed.

"Go."

"Go confirmed." The blond repeated, flipping down her own visor. "I have the energy reading at five miles, ECM and counter-measures coming online."

Arisa stared through her heads up display as the target was illuminated through it. "Got it. Weapons hot, safeties disengaged." She replied, flipping a number of switches along her own panels. Her feral smile diminished slightly, and she gave the radar display a good thump. "Are you getting interference back there? Attack radar seems a bit jumpy..."

"Yeah, target area is saturated with it." Arisa's gunner frowned. "Switching to optics." Kyouko thumbed a small joystick, and the optics array on Nine's nose came to life orienting itself in the target's general direction. "That's the stuff!" She grinned as one cat-girl came into focus, and beside her, the cat-boy. "Designating primary target NK1124."

The pilot stared at her display and tapped the cat-girl's head. "You're mine now, bitch!" Arisa flipped the guard up on her index trigger and selected the nose mounted plasma cannon with her thumb. The tri-barrelled cannon whirrled to life, locking onto the camera's imagery.

"What the HELL is THAT?" Kyouko called out in a paniced tone and Arisa's eyes frantically searched the horizon. The damn gun ship was in full stealth mode. They shouldn't be under fire this soon-- Then she saw it, a distorted pillar of energy that began to rapidly consume the strike zone. The brunette watched in horror as the cat-girl's friends jumped away and disappeared into the shimmering distortion. "Lost readings on the secondary targets!"

"NO!" Arisa yelled as her objectives began to disappear before her very eyes. All that remained on her screen was the cat-girl, who seemed to shrug before jumping into the vortex herself. "You're _not_ getting away this time!"

"Ris-chan, we don't even know what that is!"

"AAAAHHHHAAAaaaARRR!" Arisa let loose a primal scream, and shoved the throttle to the stops. The gunship's two shoulder slung turbofans whined painfully as they tilted forward into their maximum angle of attack. The nose dropped sharply and the gunship dove into the evaporating event horizon.

Kyouko keyed the mic in panic. "Backstop, this is Poison 9! We are engaging the target!" Her eyes widened as the ground grew at an insane rate. "Repeat, this is Poison 9, _we are going in!"_

_

* * *

_

Sailor Pluto took an involuntary step back as her eyes took in the figures on the wall and what they represented. Of course, there was Ranma Saotome. She knew he of all people would be here. Ranma had been her pet project for the last few years and knew his intentions beyond a shadow of a doubt. But as had become customary lately, he continued to be an unending source of surprises.

"So, we meet at last, Guardian Pluto." The Senshi eyed the shriveled old woman balanced on the cane above her and shivered. Like Ranma himself, she knew everybody on the wall, if only because she had bound them all together like some mis-woven tapestry. "We have... _things_ to discuss." ...And so did the two teens at her side, which was apparent through the intensity of their gazes on her person.

"So _many_ things." The banndanna'd boy next to Ranma growled and blushed at the same time, as he recalled the severe beating and the free show he'd received... . It hadn't helped her case when Ranma informed the Ryoga that Pluto was the main reason he had been getting lost as of late.

"Reow." That came from the cat girl, eliciting another shiver from both Setsuna and Ranma. It wasn't a happy sound, as Nuku Nuku had picked up on the mood of her future husband and focused her ire on the woman that displeased him.

"Setsuna, what have you been up to?" Sailor Moon arched a dangerous eyebrow upon seeing the displeasure of complete strangers focused on the Senshi of Time. While she wasn't completely happy with the newcomers joining her team, she knew any little bit would help their already slim odds.

A tiny bead of sweat rolled from the Senshi's forehead.

"We'll settle up later." Ranma stated flatly as the group stared Setsuna Meiou down. He smiled inwardly. Those memories were actually turning out to be good for something other than screwing with is gender sense. "We're here to do a job."

"Indeed." The Amazon matriarch agreed. "Much as I would like to... _settle up_, the threat as described is too large to ignore." Even Ryoga nodded with her statement.

Sailor Mercury handed Pluto the Mercury link on cue. "It's all there. If you can cut us a time-space hole down that route, we should exit within ten kilometers of the reactor." The Mistress of Time studied the data from the link then handed it back with a nod.

"Ten kilometers isn't exactly a Sunday stroll, you know." Sailor Neptune noted.

"Through a universe full of super youma." Haruka add darkly.

"Silly monsters no match for Amazon warrior." Shampoo sniffed with unshakable confidence. "Scared girl stay back if want."

"WHAT!" Sailor Uranus' eyes widened at the unexpected insult.

"Either way," Ami stepped in before the conflict could escalate, "It's as close as I can get us."

"Then lets be about it." Moon stated firmly and looked Ranma square in the eye. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Well, if I'm going to be wading waist deep in youma, I expect my body guard to be there as well." Usagi stated, folding her arms across her fuku-ribboned chest.

Ranma blinked. "Uh yeah, well, about that..."

Sailor Moon frowned. "Or were you just playing my friendship the entire time as well?" Ranma sighed at the hole he'd dug himself, then looked at Pluto, whose eyes still flicked from him to his new team members nervously. Okay, so it had been worth it. He shrugged mentally. Nova might as well go out with a bang, right?

"Nova Power, _Make Up!_" The flash of light washed over Ranma and the fuku was in place, Staff of Ascension deployed. After weeks playing the part, her hand pulled out the pigtail on reflex, unbinding her bright red hair. Sailor Nova was back in action.

"Oh, Son in-law, this is priceless!" The Elder snickered from the wall and Ranma scowled. Mousse's jaw was hanging and Shampoo blinked curiously. Nuku nuku shared the look. The resemblance was uncanny, in fact.

"When Airen join Senshi?" She asked innocently, then a smile crawled across her face. "Ranma make too-too good soldier of love and justice. Maybe Shampoo help on the love part after all over with this, yes? "

"Ranma-husband girl-cat now?"

"My, that's a nice fuku, Ranma." Ryoga's humor-laden tone prodded the newly transformed Senshi. "Should I just put you out of your misery now?" Knuckles cracked, as if to emphasize the question.

Sailor Nova simply shook her head. She'd been doing this for nearly three weeks now and the taunting didn't goad her as it would have before. "Laugh it up, all yas." Then she turned to Moon. "Ready when you are."

Usagi smiled and the rest of the Sailors seemed a bit more at easy with the familiar form by her side. "Pluto?" Sailor Pluto nodded and the team felt a large spike of power. The Senshi of Time began to glow, and before them, reality began to ripple and shimmer. The air around them shuddered, and the distortion grew, taking up a fair portion of the shrine's courtyard. The shimmering crawled skyward and stopped, seeming to solidify as it did so. The glow around Pluto faded.

"Gate's up." She stated without flourish. "Last chance to back out." Even through the statement was meant for the entire team, she cast a hard glare at Ranma specifically.

"Thought you'd have learned by now." Nova replied to the challenge with ice. "Ranma Saotome _never loses._" With that, she stepped into the portal and vanished. Setsuna growled and rushed in behind her. One by one the Senshi-NWC combined swirled and vanished, until only Nuku Nuku remained. She too shrugged and hopped in.

* * *

Sailor Nova landed in a guarded stance, her senses complaining as the distorted reality cleared from her person. She shook her head and another screeching of twisting metal erupted above her as Pluto landed gracefully beside her, followed closely by Moon and the rest of their strike team. Nova blinked and her words were preempted by Pluto's own observation. 

"Oh shit."

It was the second rude surprise she had encountered today, this one being by far the worst. Even as Nuku cleared the gateway, Setsuna took in the view in front of her... They now stood on a dusty plain and in the distance was the glimmering sphere that was their objective, whose brilliance provided the sole illumination the pocket universe would see. Around it, stood the vast sprawl of the youma manufacturing facility, framed by the dim chaotic rainbow that comprised what could loosely be termed as "sky." Pluto knew that it wasn't sky in the traditional sense, but the boundaries of the void, literally the ends of this small universe. But none of that was what prompted the "oh shit". That came from the fact that they were literally surrounded by youma of all sizes, formed up into ranks.

"There must be thousands!" Usagi exclaimed, recovering from the wormhole transit.

"The forces arrayed against Earth is indeed formidable" Cologne observed with gravity, pogo'ing up beside Moon.

"I've got exactly eleven thousand four hundred and fifty two in sensor range at the moment." Mercury reported as she consulted her link. "Luckily, they all appear to be in standby. Don't touch any--"

_WhoooOOOOOOSH!_

Half the team reflexively ducked as a sudden gust of wind blew across them, the result of a sleek looking aircraft suddenly jumping out of the wormhole gate and gaining altitude.

"What the HELL is that!" Ryoga hollered above the din of engine noise. Ranma frowned. She recognized the design, as did Nuku, who hissed.

"You've got to be kid---" Ranma's complaint was cut off by Hotaru, whose voice quavered with a measure of fear.

"Um guys..."

"_ROOORoooWL!"_

"I don't think they're in standby anymore." She finished as the obvious became painfully apparent. Growls could be heard from every angle and the Senshi-NWC strike team arrayed itself into a circle. The ranks of youma attention turned inward, finding life where it didn't belong. Most of the monsters were pinkish and somewhat female-looking, but all of them looked to have been beat with the ugly stick at some point during their creation. Big ones, small ones...

"**RAAARRRAARRR!"**

The sound seemed to be a decisive one and the youma lines charged into the life that shouldn't have been. The power levels of fourteen humans spiked abruptly and the time for talk was over.

"Here they come!" Moon yelled and the team braced against the oncoming horde.

The first youma jumped in, claws aimed to eviscerate Sailor Nova's throat. The Staff of Ascention came up and it's chest met a half moon blade. The crescent bit into the youma's torso and it instantly crystallized into a solid block of ice. Nova carried the momentum through and it hit the ground, shattering the beast in half. The strike team was now decisively engaged as youma attempted to come hand to hand all along their lines, only to meet lethal resistance.

"_Bakusai Tenkestsu!_" Rock shattered at Ryoga's feet as his breaking point technique ripped into a group of five, showering them with what amounted to high speed granite fragmentation that shredded anything in its path. The youma fell, or rather denigrated as the fight carried on to either side. Sailor Venus' Love Me Chain slashed forth, removing another four youma from his flank. She had just enough time to give the Lost Boy a wink before being reengaged. Pluto dropped into compressed time as her own heart-tipped staff ripped through the demonic ranks pressing her own front. The staff cut through the air and a Chronos Typhoon surrounded her, clearing the immediate area. It gave her time to watch Mercury dodge a pair of claws and perforate her own attackers with a freezing mist. Anything that didn't crumble under it's own icey weight was shattered in the overpressure created by Sailor Jupiter's own Sparkling Wide Pressure attack, which vaporized her own targets in their entirety.

Cologne took the offensive brunt on the circle's opposite flank, the ancient staff she had wielded for so long blurring through the lethal chestnut technique. Shampoo's scimitar flashed in close beside her as the purple haired amazon covered her back with a grace matched only by Saotome herself. The trio was rounded out by Mousse who had come loaded to bear. Edged weaponry flew from his oversize sleeves, providing the entire circle with an exotic form of suppressive fire. Three more Youma fell as the Elder's staff tip punched through skulls, hearts and other vital organs while Shampoo chopped another two attempting to cleave her great grandmother's back.

"_Silence Glaive Surprise!"_

Five square blocks of youma instantly vaporized as Sailor Saturn brought her Silence Glaive down, the resulting plume of fire roaring up into the fractal dusk sky. Even as it did, another roar was heard off to the left and a giant youma seemed to spring up from the earth. It crawled up from the ground on four legs, rearing it's massive horns and gaping jaws. Charred pink scales covered the beast and it lurched forward.

Three team members spotted the threat and reacted simultaneously. It just so happened that all three had the same weapon of choice to use in dispatching the charging demon. Sailor Nova disengaged from the front lines and reversed the her staff, snapping the ringed edge at her new target. Ryoga Hibiki also noticed the rampaging youma, sliding the super dense umbrella off his back and popping it open. With a might heave, the super dense bamboo scythe flew skyward. Finally, Sailor Moon whirled around as the new combatant surfaced, and she pulled the gold shining tiara off her head.

"_Moon Tiara Action!"_ The call rang out and all three members attack flew out at once. Nova's Kinjakan ring blazed on fire through the left arc while Ryoga's umbrella cut right. The glowing tiara blew down the center and all three weapons converged simultaneously, chopping into the beast from three separate angles. Ranma's flaming disk carved through the giant youma's torso diagonally, while Ryoga's umbrella virtually gutted the demon's midsection. Moon's Tiara all but decapitated the pink monstrosity outright. The weapons returned on separate arcs to their owners, who shared a look as the beast literally fell apart at the seams.

But as spectacular as it was... "We're not making any headway here!" Pluto's voice called out and the dilemma resonated within Usagi. The fact was they _were_ making headway, but that headway against the horde was at molasses speeds, at best. They needed a breakout and they need one now.

It just so happened somebody heard there plea.

* * *

"Poison Nine to Backstop, come in Backstop..." Static greeted Kyouko's transmission. "Nothing but dead air, Ris-chan." 

"So what the hell is happening down there?" Arisa stared at the display slaved to the nose camera, where a small war raged two hundred feet below. The blond in the gunners seat pushed her face against the armored glass canopy.

"Fighting an army of zombies?" She theorized as a fiery plum floated skyward.

"An army of darkness, more like it." The pilot commented as she zoomed the camera in on one of the larger monsters, which was promptly dissected by three guided weapons. "Got some serious firepower down there too." Arisa slewed the camera right and found her dark pink-haired target, ripping one of the demon looking things apart with her bare-hands. Dammit, she really didn't want to help cat-girl, especially when it was the perfect opportunity to ace the distracted android. She thumbed the optics joystick from cat-girl to monster and back, chewing her lips with indecision.

"Looks like they're moving toward that giant crystal thing." Kyouko observed, and Arisa came to a decision. Unless they wanted to be stuck here, cat girl was their only ticket home. There really wasn't a choice.

"Dammit!" The pilot fumed and slapped down her orange visor once more. "How we looking on fuel?"

"Approaching Bingo." Her co-pilot stated, the frown on her face evident in her voice.

Arisa growled. "Might as well make the most of it... _Let's clear the road!"_

Poison Nine dropped like a stone as its pilot rode the throttle to full military power. Kyouku flipped a switch and the under-slung plasma cannon tracked her eye movement, sliding onto one of the larger targets. The gunship blew over the Senshi-NWC strike team and unleashed, its tri-barreled plasma gatling gun coming to life for the first time. The barrels spun and lethal streams of white hot energy spat forth at the rate of two hundred rounds per second, immolating anything that caught Kyouko's eye. Arisa thumbed her own weapons selector once and five AX-15s flew off their racks, burning into several mobs before ripping them apart in a series of detonations, whose plasma burned scores of youma alive outright.

Poison Nine covered the ten kilometer path quickly and its crew took stock of their handiwork. The killing swath they cut had been spectacular, but the path they had carved was already being replaced by fresh monsters.

"Set us up for another pass, Ris," Kyouko ordered. "They're gonna need continuous suppressive fire if that path is gonna stay open." Arisa nodded and hauled the gunships nose around.

"_With pleasure."_

_

* * *

_

The strike team moved quickly through the smoldering remains, fighting the advancing youma off at a run. Anybody that could produce ranged fire quickly moved to the front of their advance in order to keep the path clear as they moved forward. Ranma let loose another ki energy burst, and the glowing blue ball vaporized a pack of demons that insisted on making their acquaintance. Three youma made it past the attack and the martial artist swung the ring tip around, turning the first into flaming ash with ease. The second hesitated slightly, only to find a crecsant blade caress its skull. The demon fell to the ground, it's head turned to solid ice. She was about ready to engage the third when her hearing picked up a loud crack at his back. He only had a second to take in the incident and found Cologne without a weapon, the result of a stressed cane buckling at high speeds. The Elder was now suddenly weaponless and facing youma en'masse.

Even if Ranma was to never marry her great grand daughter, Cologne was one of the few people outside of his own blood Ranma considered something close to family. Removing the threat to her became her number one priority, and Nova-Ranma's next actions were driven by pure instinct, instinct that had kept him and his friends alive through too many situations to count. Ki reflexively flowed into the staff, reversing the technique that had fused it together. Nova pulled the weapon apart, whipped around and threw the Gekkaja across the space, past Cologne, burying the crescent blade into the lead youma's sternum. The Elder gave the redhead a slight nod as she hopped up and retrieved the weapon from its frozen chest, cutting down the next beast in line. Sailor Nova whirled around in the same movement, decapitating another youma that had closed to hand-to-hand with razor disk of the Kinjakan. She was already moving onto the next target as the head bounced to the earth unnoticed.

Nova ripped anotherMöko Takabisha downrange and a Space Sword Blaster poured in behind it, decimating the closest platoon of advancing youma. A line of incendiary plasma rained down from on high, cutting another swath forward of their advance. Nova-Ranma looked up and watch the gunship circle right while the nose mounted cannon picked out its targets and burned them down.

"How much further?" Sailor Neptune called out and unleashed her own Deep Submerge to further carve into their advance on the Pure Heart Crystal Reactor.

"I said _get off me!_" Mercury hollered as more youma pressed her side of the strike team's defensive circle. "_Mercury Aqua Rhapsody_ !" Ribbons flew from the harp in her hands and solidified into massive streams of water tearing another squad of youma apart as it attempted to close on her. She turned on the Outer. "Six kilometers!"

"INCOMING!" Jupiter screamed as red ball of power streaked in, causing Saturn to whip around.

"_Silence Wall!" _The angry blob of power terminated two feet from Jupiter's person as Hotaru erected an energy barrier with the Glaive. The blast shattered against the wall, reflecting its potential at the nearby youma instead its intended target.

"They're getting tougher people!" Moon called out, blasting a youma with a pinkish ray after it had gotten up for the second time. The beam carved a line from the monster's neck to its ribs, an arm and good portion of torso falling to the ground in a smoldering heap. This time it stayed down."Watch for energy attacks!

No sooner had she uttered the words, another youma glowed brightly and unleashed a bright red ball of power. The only other person who could have intercepted the attack besides Saturn was a fraction of a second too late in noticing the inbound energy, having just dispatched her own opponent. Sailor Pluto's eyes came off the falling corpse in front of her and saw the perilously close energy attack. "Garnet Ba--!" The defensive bubble didn't have time to form and the blast detonated within their squad, blowing Pluto and another out of formation and into the the mob, well forward of the strike team. Pluto shook her head and pushed herself off the ground, only to quickly find herself surround. Five claws slashed toward her at once and she desperately tried to complete the technique she had started seconds ago.

"_Moko Takabisha Double!" _

Instead of the five pronged attack, five smoking corpses fell to her feet with independent thuds. She turned to find her savior, only to wretch. The redhead jumped in and began to fend off the other encroaching masses of claws with terrifying speed, speed Setsuna could only match if she compressed time. She was also fighting hand to hand. Had she dropped the Kinjakan? Pluto brought the heart tipped staff up into a striking stance and slowed time around her person.

"Don't think this makes us even, Saotome!" She snarled and introduced a pack of youma to her Dead Scream technique. "You _will_ cease to be a threat by the time I'm through with you!"

Nova-Ranma's fist blurred through an attack, something that amazed Setsuna ins pite of herself. She was in compressed time and they were _still_ blurring. "Talk's cheap, _Set-chan._" The youma practically fell apart under the assault. "You _so_ need a vacation... Even if I have to be the one to give it too you!"

The implied threat didn't go unnoticed, and Pluto threw the resultant anger at three more youma, tearing the staff through them. "I have a responsibility to see the deaths of five point two billion people aren't in vein! If I need to remove you to make that probability occur, so be it!"

"Oh yeah," Nova snarled with disgust. "Crystal-fucking-Toyko can go screw itself too!" Vacuum blades slashed out, eviscerating youma in depth. She spared a withering glare back at Pluto. "How you can accept the deaths of billions on the outcome of something that has to be continual tweaked in order to occur is total insanity!" Ranma's rage began to roll to a boil.

Setsuna triggered a Chronos Typhoon in response as her own temper flared. "You think I want the deaths of those people on my hands? I've seen the future! That catastrophe is _going_ to happen! The odds of stopping it are even slimmer than engineering Crystal Tokyo!" The typhoon unleashed and shredded demons were sent snapping around her. "Don't you DARE fucking judge me, boy!"

"JUDGE YOU?" The rage flared like Sailor Nova's namesake and ki claws rippled forth along her knuckles. She barely took notice of them as she adjusted her attacks to compensate for their reach and attack power. The ethereal blades cleaved a youma clean in two. "I have your damn memories stuffed in my head sideways! There's no way you can tell me Caesar's assassination was necessary!" Pluto nearly faltered in her attacks at the redheads words. Five more youma went down as the blur known as Ranma Saotome became a demonic killing machine, ki claws flashing in nearly every direction at once. The Senshi of Time mentally calculated their position and decided it would still be another few minutes before the rest of the team caught up to the position they were now holding. A small part of her began to know fear.

"You've overstepped Serenity's mandate so many time she'd probably thank me for taking you out!" This time her attack did falter and Pluto was reduced to blocking the inbound attacks as some pent up fragment in her psyche was jarred loose.

Claws skittered off the time key as she deflected another attack. "No... That's not true..." it was a weak protest at best and she found Ranma's eyes burning into her own.

"Setsuna Meiou... Judge, jury and self appointed executioner." A fist buried itself into one of the demons, ki slivers jutting out its spine. Pluto's eyes widened and the reality impaled her, causing her to all but drop her guard and stare at the redhead. She _knew_. She knew _everything_. And it was as if Ranma Saotome, the person she had fated to die had somehow become her conscious manifest, voicing every doubt and fear she had so successfully locked up in the annals of time. "Back on the clock, Pluto!"

It wasn't a polite warning, but it was a warning none the less. Her eyes snapped up just into time block pair of fangs with the length of her staff, wedging them open before pushing forward and sheering the youma's skull in half. She compressed time further and slid left, narrowly avoiding the next three youma attacking in unison. They couldn't keep this up. There were too many and the team was still a good hundred meters behind them. She was about to call out to Ranma when something buzzed through the fuku's embedded communications array.

"_--weapons inbound! Prepare for direct fire on your position!"_

Setsuna took quick stock of the message and her surroundings, finding the errant Mishima Heavy Industries Gunship approaching at high speed with ordinance already flying off its racks. White flame sprang from the nose and realization hit her like a sledgehammer. "Ranma, _DOWN!"_

Sheets of fire sprang forth as the world around them was torn apart violently.

* * *

Kyouko was jarred in her seat and pushed into the safety harness as another thud impacted the gunship. The ground based energy fire was thickening, and even Arisa's superior piloting skills weren't enough to evade the flashing bolts the demons seemed to be throwing at them. The gunner picked another target out and hosed it with a hot stream of plasma fire, which was incredibly effective at annihilating the larger monsters. Another thud skewed her aim, sending white heat straying off target and into the ranks of lesser youma. Kyouko shrugged and silently thanked the engineering staff who had decided to mount Poison Nine's reactive plating. 

"Ko-chan, three o'clock." Arisa directed the blond's attention along the vector and she found two figures ahead of and cut off from the main group.

Kyouko panned the nose camera on to them and frowned. "They're not going to last long out there all alone."

"Right." The pilot agreed. "Coming around, set us up for close air support."

"They might get a little singed." The gunner stated and sighted the guns relative centimeters pff the hapless combatants.

"The price of doing business." Arisa stated flatly. "Lock and load!"

The nose lined up on the pair and Kyoko spun up the plasma cannon. She edged the gun sights down the corridor, then hesitated a moment, keying the radio as an afterthought. "This is Poison Nine on Guard to allied combatants, weapons inbound, repeat, weapons inbound! Prepare for direct fire on your position!" God only knew if there was anybody that could actually receive the unscrambled transmission, but it was worth a try.

She pulled down on the trigger and the thirty decawatt plasma cannon spat white death, tearing a line of fire into the youma ranks closest to the two lone fighters. The insides of her canopy flashed, and rockets flew from the wing pylons, spackling the strike zone with splashes of fire and plasma. Poison Nine flew through the resulting cloud of smoke, and Arisa pulled the experimental gunship around through a tight arc.

"One more pass!" She called out.

A thundering crash punctuated her remark and Kyoko watched in horror as her damage console lit up while buzzers squealed in protest. Some of the ground fire had finally gotten through the plating. "Avionics are out! We're losing the aft stabilizers!" The entire gunship shuttered and bucked while Arisa fought the flight stick for a level. "Crap! Hydrolic failures on the mainlines, switching to backups!" There was a pause as she flipped the requisite switches. "I'd start looking for a place to land!"

Her pilot continued to wrestle with the controls, snarling. "No way am I going down with unexpended ordinance! Arm the Death Hand!"

Kyoko bit her lips. They'd be lucky to come out of this one alive. "AX-20 coming hot! Release on your mark!"

Arisa centered up on a point between the Senshi-NWC strike team and the giant crystal thing, grinning evilly. This should give 'em some breathing room, she through and trigged the weapon. The entire gunship shuddered as the fat missile left the centerline fuselage rack, streaking into an untouched mass of youma. The missile seemed to explode into a fine mist thirty meters above the ground, showering the general area with a glimmering fog. A second later a bright spark ignited within the cloud and the fog was transformed into a brilliant fireball. The shock wave rolled out, flattening demons for hundreds of meters before incinerating them inside the air-fuel generated explosion. The fireball climbed into the dusk sky, causing Arisa's maniacal smile to grow.

It was a short lived smile.

Another jarring crash hit her aircraft, and the gunship protested by slewing hard to the right. _"Say goodbye to engine one!"_ Kyouko called out frantically, and Arisa watched flames spiral from the stricken turbofan.

The pilot could feel the controls slipping away from her and it was no longer a matter of fighting for them as they lost life with each passing second. Arisa used the last of it to point the nose into the smoldering clearing she had just cleared.

"This is the end of Poison Nine! _Crash positions!"_

_

* * *

_

Sailor Moon watched the angry fire ball consume the youma in front of them as their group moved in and encircled the battered Senshi Pluto and Nova. "You two alright!" Both stared at her with a dead look, as if their disheveled state and torn fukus didn't tell all. "Um, right. I think you dropped this, Nova." Moon handed the crimson fuku her ring-tipped staff, and the redhead nodded her thanks.

"That jet did a good job at clearing--" Sailor Jupiter was commenting just as the for mentioned jet streaked overhead and into the smoking field of fire it had just created. "Crap! It's been hit!"

"Several times by the looks of it." Michiru noted as she followed the gunship down.

Both Sailor Nova and Pluto watched as well, the same thoughts running through their head. "That gunship saved our ass." Nova stated and Pluto nodded in agreement.

"Then we'd better get around to saving theirs." Pluto finished, and the Sailors set of at a dead run, whose speed was significantly aided by the fact that every youma between them and the reactor had been reduced to crispy critters. The youma behind them were a different matter entirely, and happily gave chase with claws, fangs and magical energy fire. Regardless, the Senshi-NWC strike team was out-pacing them faster then the demon's meager accuracy allowed, and were quickly left in the dust. Shampoo found the debris laden trench first and the team followed it to the gunship's crash site, whose fuselage had been mauled, but was otherwise intact... minus the wings, nose gun, and entire left side of reactive plating. Carbon scoring made it obvious to determine where the aircraft had received its fatal fire.

"Any survivors?" Mercury called into the wreckage and an armored figure stepped out from behind the aircraft. If she looked carefully, Ami could even note that it was blond behind the visor.

"I think so," The figure answered, obviously still a bit shaken. "I'm Kyoko. Arisa will be out--"

"I swear I'm gonna kill that cat-girl the minute we get out of here!" The armored brunette fumed as she stepped out of Poison Nine's cargo hold attaching a machine gun feed to the gatling gun mounted on her gauntlet.

"Reow?" Nuku stared at the familiar toys curiously. On one hand they represented both threat and playtime. On the other, they'd helped her husband-sister only minutes before. Arisa froze mid-step and stared at the source of her incessant angst.

"We don't have time for this." Pluto stated, breaking the odd staring contest. "If you can move, we've got to get to _that_," The Senshi pointed at the giant crystalline globe now looming large in the sky. "Before _they_ get to us." She pointed back to the ranks of youma that were finally beginning to catch up to them. That finally focused both cat-girl and cooperate officer back on the matter at hand, and the newly formed Senshi-NWC-Mishima team broke from the dead gunship at a run. Even as they did, Kyoko was proud. Poison Nine was not only the first gunship of the Poison line to see live fire under real battlefield conditions, but it was also the first Poison model _not_ to be taken out by a cat-girl... A rare and distinct honor.

Energy bolts continued to pepper their backsides as they found the base of the Pure Heart Crystal reactor, which seemed to float atop a giant pillar The pillar itself could only be described as technology, a power converter, Mercury termed it. It glowed an eerie green, a stark contrast to the brilliant pink crystal globe. There was only one way to the top, a long staircase whose entrance was blocked by a dull glow. The Strike team arrayed itself at the foot of the pillar.

Ami pulled out the Mercury link, aiming it at the glow. "Force shield, fourteen point eight terrawatts in strength. Don't touch it." Nuku Nuku pulled her finger back from the glow. She turned around and pointed the clamshell PDA in the opposite direction. "We have about one minute, thirty seconds before eighteen thousand youma arrive on this position to hand us our asses." Sailor Jupiter blinked at the normally reserved Senshi's cursing.

Pluto simply nodded and turned to Hotaru. "Do it."

Sailor Saturn nodded and took a deep breath, gathering her power. She balance the Silence Glaive in her hand and pointed it into the shield.

"One minute." Ami called out the time. A dull rumbling could be heard in the distance.

"_Death Reborn Revolution!" _

Hotaru plunged the Glaive into the shield, which exploded in brilliance as the ancient weapon triggered a reaction that siphoned the barrier's power away into impotence. The Glaive glowed a bright orange as if it were about to melt, but otherwise held its structure. The bright barrier pulsed once more and seemed to shatter completely. The shield was down.

"We need to go, _now!" _Ami warned as the first blasts of magical fire began to rain down on their position. The front lines of the massing youma were now visible in all their horrid glory. Something shrieked overhead and Haruka saw it first. It was a youma. With _wings_. She picked it out of the shifting dusk sky and blasted it with her space sword. That was the team's cue, and every member began the retreat up the stairway while the youma army pressed forward... the youma army meant for _Earth, _and each person on the team realized that this was only a fraction of its main host. They reached the top and platform and had barely a moment to take in the beautiful pink atrocity floating above them.

"Ris-chan! Supressive fire!" Kyouko called out and aimed her her armor mounted gatling guns down the stairs, the same stairs the youma now advanced up. Her friend took a stance beside her, raising her own gauntlet miniguns. The multi-barreled cannons whirled to life, and a buzz saw sound cut through the air as they spat six hundred rounds per second down range, shredding their front lines. The Senshi began to add their own firepower and Mousse stepped to the front, cutting loose with every edged weapon in his formitable arsenal. Even Cologne began to throw ki blasts at a rate that made Nova-Ranma pale. She was already something around three hundred years old. Throwing that much spirit energy around couldn't be good for her longevity.

Pluto stepped back and pulled the Elerium WMD out of her personal weapon space, setting it on the platform gently. The silver casing glowed pink, reflecting the PHC reactor's light above. "Princess, the codes."

Sailor Moon stepped forward and ran a gentle finger down its mirrored chrome casing. She reached into her fuku and pulled a crinkled piece of paper from between her breasts and stared at it.

"You kept the codes for a one gigaton weapon of mass destruction _between your breasts?_" Ami boggled, staring at the princess, who in turn stuck her tongue out at the Mercury. Usagi turned back to the deadly shining oval.

"Omicron-Omicron-Omega-Break-Five." She read and the weapon simply sat there.

"_Activation codes recognized. Good day, Princess Serenity."_ Usagi binked. Pretty polite for a bomb.

Moon looked back down at the piece of paper in her hand, reading it word for word. "Aramament stage one, five minutes."

"_Armament, Stage One, confirmed. Delayed activation set to minus five minutes."_ It stated calmly, a stark contrast to the frantic defense going on only a few feet away at the steps. _"Awaiting final armament authorization."_

Usagi Tsukino took a deep, trembling breath. "Defense of the Realm."

"_Thank you, Princess Serenity."_ The bomb replied. _"This unit will now detonate in time minute five minutes. Countermand will expire at time minus one minute. Full anti-tampering countermeasures engaged."_

Moon was at a loss. "Now what?" She looked at Pluto.

"_Recommend all personnel proceed to minimum safe distance." _The bomb replied to the misdirected question. _"Minimum safe distance for this unit is two thousand five hundred and thirty eight miles."_

"In other words it's time to get the hell out of dodge!" Nova hollered over her shoulder as she cut loose with another Moko Takabisha. Her blast was augmented by Mars' Fire Snake, checking the advancing demons.

"I'm down to three thousand rounds!" Arisa called out as she reset her gatling gun's overheat breaker for the second time.

"Two thousand five over here!" Kyoko called out as the pair continued to pump 20 millimeter slugs into the stalled youma lines. She soberly noted that the only reason they were stalled was because of the narrow stairway versus the fire being poured into it.

"_Four minutes, thirty seconds."_ The bomb added sedately.

"Forming the gate!" Pluto called out and fed power into creating a wormhole back to universe proper. The shimmering distortion formed, wavered and died in front of her. "What the hell!" She tried again, feeding more power into the gate. The result was the same. Ami was already on the problem.

"The THC Reactor is pumping out too much energy. We need to gain some distance before trying again!" She replied, interpreting the Mercury links readings.

"How far?" Usagi asked with concern.

Sailor Mercury frowned, as she was often wont to do in this miserable universe. "One kilometer."

Sailor Moon's eyes widened. It didn't take a genius to do the math. "One kilometer is out _there!_" She pointed into the unending tide of youma.

"One thousand rounds!" Arisa called out, the barrels on her armored gauntlet glowing with heat.

"I'm nearly dry!" Kyoko reported as the last of five hundred rounds fed through the belt.

Ranma Saotome through furiously. If the volume of fire dropped even by a small margin, the youma standstill would turn into a crushing advance, an advance their team desperately need themselves. Her brain's tactical computer spun into overdrive, calculating the team's combined firepower and the techniques at their disposal. The martial artist handed the Kinjakan back to Moon. She was gonna need both hands free for this one. "Ryoga! Breaking point on my mark!" Ryoga was at his side without question and the two stood by as Arisa and Kyoko expended the last of their munitions.

"I'm out!" Kyoko called as the cannon wound down. "Standing by on RPGs!" Secured hatches on the power armor's shoulder pods flipped open, exposing twelve rocket propelled grenades to open air.

"Out!" Arisa called, her cannon dying as well. "Cut 'em loose!" Rockets flared out from the armor and twenty four high explosive grenades settled into the youma front lines, detonating in a spectacular display of fragmenting pyrotechnics.

"NOW!" Nova-Ranma yelled and Ryoga Hibiki stepped forward, pushing his finger into the stairs at their feet.

"_Bakuai Tenketsu!"_

No sooner had the stone pathway shattered, Ranma herself was inside the the blast radius with the chestnut fist, tagging every one of the fragments Ryoga had dislodged, and sent them into the demonic crowd below like high-speed human machine gun. "AGAIN!" Ryoga stepped forward a second time and more stone shattered. Ranma seemed untouchable in the stone whirlwind as he repeated the dual technique. The youma lines faltered.

"_Three minutes."_

Cologne hopped forward and touched the ground with the not-so lethal end of the Gekkaja, duplicated the technique she had taught the Lost Boy herself. More stone shattered and this time Shampoo was in the cloud of stone, her purple hair whirling through the chestnut fist with determination. The added firepower was enough and the lines cracked. The remaining Senshi poured everything into them, while two suits of power armor and one cat-girl went hand to hand, pulverizing any demon that made it through the hail of stone.

"Saturn, take out the stairway base!" Pluto directed and Hotaru focused the Glaive.

"_Silence Glaive Surprise!" _Another five blocks of youma evaporated as the woman deemed a strategic weapon of war brought the stave down, mercilessly turning anything in front of her to cinders. The NWCs new Chestnut Breaking Point technique made short work of anything not consumed by the fireball, and the combined strike team secured the base of the pillar.

"Two-thirty!" Mercury called out as they moved away from the reactor, allowing Pluto the distance to try her technique again. This time, the gateway formed flawlessly and the shimmering, distorted curtain hung at the groups' center while they fought off increasing pressure from the youma army.

"Moon first!" Pluto yelled and Usagi studddered.

"What? No way! I can't leave!"

"You can and you will!" Nova countered. "Princesses and animal cursed martial artists first!"

"But--!" Nova and Pluto shared a knowing look, and the Senshi of exploding stars was by her side in a flash, locking Usagi's arm behind her. "OW!"

"In you go, your worshipfulness!" Sailor Nova took the Kinjakan from her and shoved Moon through the portal and returned to the defensive line. "Time to leave, people!" One by one, the Senshi filed through, which in turn presented a difficult problem to Ranma as they did so. The increase in open terrain worked to their enemy's advantage, allowing them to attack from all sides at maximum strength. On top of that, the teams collective firepower weakened as they retreated through the porthole one by one. The only person that truly need to remain was Pluto, with somebody to keep the demons off her as she held the gate open. Cologne gave Ranma a knowing look as she handed the Gekkaja back to her.

"Fight well, Son in-law." Shampoo and Mousse went first, followed by the Amazon matriarch. Only Mercury, Jupiter and Saturn remained, and it was the bare minimum they could cut without their lines collapsing entirely.

"Point of no return!" Mercury called out, glancing longingly at the portal as she iced another platoon of youma. "One minute!"

Sailor Nova fused the Gekkaja and Kinjakan back together. It was time to get serious. She stepped to the center of the defensive ring around the wormhole and began feeding power into the newly reformed staff. Ki flowed in a circle from her to it and back and back, twirling the staff wildly in preperation for the ultimate technique that existed only in her minds eye, up until now.

"_Hiryu..." _

The razor ring snapped away, igniting as it took flight. The Staff of Ascension continued to twirl in her hands, and the guided ring spiraled outward, trailing super-heated air.

"_Shoten..."_

The spiral continued to expand out beyond their lines, and over the youma horde. The staff spun and Ranma focused every ounce of ki into the technique. If it worked, it'd give Pluto and herself the need breathing room to retreat themselves. If not... Well, they'd both buy it in a spectacular fasion.

"_Ha..."_

The twisting stopped and Ranma flipped the staff around, its crescent blade facing downward. With a might heave, she shoved the blade into the ground, turning it to ice for hundreds of meters.

"_ASCENSION!"_

The shock wave ripped out from the staff and along the super-heated line of atmosphere, uncoiling like the dragon Ranma had unleashed so many times before. But now, those dragons seemed like fence lizards compared to the one she had now loosed. Air pressure and ki ripped outward beyond Nova , Pluto, and into the waiting army of youma where it crushed them mercilessly. The shock wave followed the heated spiral to the end and became self sustaining, forming into a tempest the likes of which few had ever seen. Saturn jumped through the portal, followed quickly by Mercury. Nova held onto the ice embedded staff for dear life as the winds threatened to rip her arms out of their sockets.

Then there was Pluto.

Pluto stood within the subspace buffer between reality and the gate, realitively unaffected by the technique. She made a mental consultation of her internal clock. Fifteen seconds and inches. She could literally leave Ranma out here to either die by her own technique or roast in the nuclear fires created by the bomb, but either way the redhead would be out of her hair for good. But could she leave such a person out to dry like that? She had before. Caesar had been a patriot too. Ten seconds. Wind sheared across Ranma without respite, while everything within ten miles was being shredded by her own hypervelocity maelstrom. Pluto considered the redhead. A patriot. Somebody who took the odds without regard for her own like and saftey. Somebody who knew Princess of Pluto just as well as she knew herself. Somebody who would do the right thing _no matter what_... Could she kill another one? Yes. Could she kill another one and stay sane...?

Five seconds.

Ranma Saotome's grip on the staff was beginning to slip as frost crept up the shaft she so desperately clung to. She couldn't even open her eyes as they'd be more than likely sheared out of their sockets the moment she did so. But then, nobody ever said the life of a martial artist wasn't fraught with peril, doubly so for ones that turned into magical girls, she though with grim humor. The gate was too far away for her to leap into the winds she had whipped into exitance, all of which begged the only question that mattered-- Which would kill her first? The new technique or the bomb. A bright flash of light through the condensed cloud answered her question. The Elerium blastwave rushed forward and she steeled herself for the end...

* * *

Ten women, two men and one android stared at the shimmering Earthside portal as it wavered with instability. They had all made it through with two notable exceptions. Ice checked the guts of each team member with each flicker the gateway produced. Finally it flared with power and collapsed with sudder of distance thunder. The team simply stood staring at the now empty portion of blue sky in muted shock. 

Neither Ranma Saotome _or_ Sestuna Meiou had returned.

* * *

Ami sat at a desk inside the Inner's apartment, pouring her attention over a stack of papers, cross referencing them with the Mercury link's data. 

"Anything?"

She looked up into the blue eyes of Usagi, whose expression was as somber as her own. "Nothing. I've got every scrap of telemetry the second link could send us before it was vaporized, and everything I've seen so far indicates they were both still there when the bomb went off."

"They're really gone, then..." Usagi slumped into a chair beside Ami.

"By all accounts, that entire universe is gone." Ami frowned, brushing an errant strand of cobalt blue hair out of her eyes.

Moon was about to reply when a pink haired girl slipped into the room and paused, noticing the long faces on her future mother and friend. "What's wrong?"

"Setsuna and Yum-- I mean, Ranma..." Usagi started, but found herself unable to finish.

"What about uncle and Set-chan?" Small Lady asked with wide, innocent eyes.

Ami stared down at the table. "They didn't make it back with us."

Chibi Usa blinked and a smile crept across her face. "Oh, I wouldn't worry about that."

Ami's head snapped up. Usagi blinked. "You wouldn't?"

"Nah." The smile grew. "Everything will turn out fine. You'll see."

* * *

Epilogue One for the original funny ending, 

Epilogue Two for the DVD Directors Cut serious ending.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**  
"Epilogue, one? Epilogue two?" Hehe... Hehehe... MwhAHAHAHAHAH! -ahem- Sorry about that. You are undoubtably wondering what exactly the deal is with the epilogue one and two bit. _I ain't tellin'_. So all those who thought you'd glean some useful information from these ANs, boy were _you_ sadly mistakin'. It'll all become clear with the next update, but let's just say that one ending wasn't enough. 

Beyond the teasing, I hope you've enjoyed the story up to this point, as this was the grand finale. Well, almost. You still have one more part to go. Or two. Depending on how incessantly I tease you :D

**Special Thanx** to Trimatter and DCG for their comments, DT and Fukufics for their help.

A note on grammar, corrections, spelling, etc... Some of you will feel compelled to note these errors and list them in the reviews section. Before you do and since I have your attention with the Epilogue stunt, know two things-- It's not that I don't care exactly, but there a balance between the enjoyment of writing, not getting paid and my own time/impatience. I make a pass at the chapter and anything that's left I can normally live with. Second, it's called a REVIEW section, **not** an editing section. This comment is mainly targeted at the habitual offenders who feel the burning desire to post nothing but corrections with next to no review content. I realize some of you mean well, but _that much_ editing needs to go to my email box, not the review section.

To everybody else, keep doing what you're doing, including you, BorgRabbit. Thanks for the heads up.


	9. Epilogue X1

**The Best of Times…**  
_By Ozzallos_  
A Fukufics (dotcom) Production

_

* * *

Hold on to your asses. We're going out with a bang.

* * *

_

**Epilogue X1**

**U**sagi Tsukino set her book bag on the sofa and closed the apartment door with a soft click. All in all, it had been a good day, if only because things were finally returning to normal… Well, as normal as they could be with Ranma and Setsuna missing in action. It had taken nearly six months to achieve this measure of normalcy, but it was finally asserting itself with some measure of predictability. Perhaps the most difficult part of the ordeal was dealing with those close to Yumei, no, _Ranma, _she mentally corrected herself for nearly the thousandth time.

The blonde sighed as she kicked off her shoes and plopped onto the sofa next to the book bag. She recalled informing his parents that their son had fallen in the defense of their world, only to be met with staunch disbelief. Ranma Saotome was, after all, bullet proof and it somehow didn't come as a surprise to find out the martial artist had taken out a super powered immortal being. That disbelief lasted only as long as it took the Elder Amazonian matriarch, her great grand daughter and Ranma's greatest rival to confirm her story. Distraught wasn't the word for Nodoka Saotome, who was overcome with crushing despair. It had taken everything for her husband and their extended family, the Tendos to keep her from taking her own life over the next week, but through it she found an odd sort of peace. The life of a martial artist was fraught with peril, after all. If her son was to fall, she couldn't ask for anything more manly than for him to save the Earth with a harem of magical girls in tow.

Ukyo Kuonji hadn't faired much better, though she was probably the most stable of all Ranma's perspective fiancées, in Usagi's humble opinion. She pulled through and became fast friends with their alter egos in the process. Shampoo, who had fought at their side, endured as a true Amazon warrior would have. The man she had chased for so long had fallen in battle and there could be no greater honor bestowed upon him… Her only wish was that Ranma would have been hers beforehand. For Kodachi and her brother Tatewake, Ranma of course had managed to spirit away the pigtailed girl- or vise versa –and were anxiously awaiting their return.

Akane, the "primary fiancée" as Moon like to think of her, closed up tight with the news. Usagi had had caught wind of the sister's legendary temper, but that smoldering inferno seemed to be snuffed out with the news that Ranma wasn't coming back. In fact, the only thing that slipped past that neutral barrier of hers was when the Kuno's had invited themselves to Ranma's funeral, and beat both brother and sister within inches of their lives.

The funeral had surprised the Sailor Senshi most of all. They had all seen them before. Small get-togethers. A wake. Crying loved ones. What they witnessed in Nerima was nothing short of hero's farewell. Emissaries from the Joketsuzoku, the Musk, and the Phoenix stood in line to honor the fallen along side the host of Furinkan and half of the Nerimian prefect itself. Friends. Enemies. Family. All bound together by this one man. It was a stark contrast to Setsuna's ceremony only days later; whose only attendees were those of the Senshi themselves. Nobody else knew the Princess of Pluto and whatever family she had were lost to the annals of time. In some ways, it was a more somber occasion by several magnitudes.

So the angst continued for a few more months. The Kunos would pay them courtesy visits looking for Ranma. The Tatewake boy would practice his pickup lines on any Senshi he could find, while his insane sister concentrated exclusively on Mamoru, much to Usagi's personal consternation. Then came the obligatory beat-down. Ukyo would also come over on occasion, release her frustration on the few remaining youma in the area and cook the Senshi something to eat. After that, she would proceed to eliminate any sobriety with extreme prejudice over sake and stories of her best friend. As for the rest, they kept mainly to themselves in Nerima. The last thing the family needed was a reminder of how their son had died, Moon figured.

But it was finally beginning to turn around.

The memories were becoming fonder and the angst lightening. Life was returning to normal and she could almost snack again without some form of leadership guilt shadowing her. In fact… The blonde broke from her introspective on recent events and hopped off the couch, aiming for the apartment kitchen. Cookies sounded damn good at the moment. If she was lucky, there'd still be some left from last night's meeting. The click of the front door coincided with the click of the refrigerator door and Usagi's hand paused centimeters from the carton of milk that was her essential snacking component with the cookies. She tasted the power signature at the door and shrugged, resuming her quest for the snack. Since the incident, she had made it a point to sharpen every skill at her disposal- another component of the leadership guilt –but she was now far more aware of the world around her as a result. In this case, it was Chibi at the door and she smiled. Of all the people in their close knit group, Small Lady seemed virtually immune to the wave of depression that accompanied the funerals. Usagi snorted mentally. She'd be immune too it she knew the future as if it had already been written. All in all, the pink haired Senshi had been vital in keeping the team from dipping even further into the depressive air with her assurance that 'everything would be ok'.

Easy for her to say.

Moon snagged her cookies from the counter jar and set a course back for the living room, where Chibi was already talking to somebody. See? Everything was returning to normal. She wasn't a total failure as a leader, the Sailors weren't write-offs and they were even allowed to have friends once in a while. She smiled as Small Lady took notice of her, then nodded at the dark haired boy she was talking to. Yep. Everything was getting back to normal. Chibi even had a boyfriend. Moon almost stumbled as her brain caught up to her mental rambling.

Chibi has… _a boyfriend?_

She tightened her grip on the glass of milk that threatened to spill out of her hands and stared. Well this was a first. Usagi stared into Chibi's surprised expression, one that all but screamed she had been caught red-handed.

"Uhh…heheh… You're home!" Chibi proclaimed the obvious, even if it were an obviously unexpected occurrence. A wide eyed stare greeted the statement. It slowly faded into a sly smile.

"Ducked out early." The blonde replied. Since the incident, she had developed a perverse sense of humor, and Moon relished the feeling as the pink haired girl squirmed under her gaze, her face turning almost as pink as her hair. "You didn't tell us you had a boyfriend, Chibi…"

"Um… uh… heheheh…."

Usagi turned her attention to the boy, sizing up the thirteen year old that was purposively courting the future queen of Crystal Tokyo. He met her gaze confidently and she silently notched a single point of approval. Still there was something damn familiar about him. Black hair tied into a pony tail. The iridescent purple eyes were slightly on the exotic side to be sure. "And who might you be?"

He took a sidelong glance over to Chibi, who seemed to have recovered enough composure to answer his silent inquiry with a shrug. He turned back to Usagi and flashed an arrogant smile, one she had been known to use herself as of late. His next words crushed reality as she knew it.

"I'm Akira Saotome. Sorry 'bout this."

* * *

"Can't say I didn't warn you." The pink haired girl quipped to the boy at her side, who simply rolled his eyes. The two now sat in the middle of what could accurately be termed an uproar, as the remaining Senshi returned home to find Chibi Usa and the boy named Akira Saotome in their midst. Chibi couldn't help but to note how Usagi enjoyed doling out the information, savoring their surprise in the same way it had stricken her only an hour ago. The leader of the Sailors had had time to recover. The remaining Senshi had not. 

"Woulda found out anyway." He shrugged nonchalantly. "If big bro and sis didn't give us away, Mom and Pop woulda."

Usa nodded. "True." She was about to continue their conversation when the pair both noted the sudden silence. They turned to find all eyes riveted on their persons.

"Big brother and sister?" Makato mouthed.

"Mom and Pop?" Rei mimed in disbelief. The story just kept getting better and better.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me…" Ami curse as she had been wont to do since the battle, but unlike the other Sailors, her razor sharp intellect was already jumping to the obvious conclusions the boy's name present them. Akira Saotome. Oh sure, there was the possibility that he was some relative, but she wasn't too fond of coincidence and the odds that another Saotome would just pop into their lives were damn long. Combine that with her close proximity to Chibi and her continually stated assurance that everything would be "okay", and she was being presented with a nearly impossible conclusion. But not totally, so she rode it home. With the last name of Saotome, his father's identity was obvious, but the mother… "So who is your mom, Akira?"

The boy cocked his head and the surrounding girls listened intently. "Pop."

Haruka affected a perturbed expression. "She asked who your _mom_ was, kid."

Akira frowned, and beside him, Chibi fought to suppress a fit of maniacal laughter. The answer wasn't lost on Usagi or Ami, however, and their eyes widened. It wasn't exactly the answer either were expecting, after all. The cobalt blue haired Senshi rubbed her temples. "I don't even _want_ to know how _that_ happened…" she grumbled, and Moon took over the inquiry.

"What she's asking is... Well…" She approached the subject tentatively, painfully aware of how awkward the question was. "Um, your father was… Ranma?" The name brought silence to the group and Akira responded with a single nod. "And your mother would be…?" The boy smiled and laughter continued to burble from the pink haired girl next to him.

"Setsuna Meiou, of course."

* * *

Two figures stepped out of a glimmering sliver of unreality, distorting the air around it in a wavering glow. The first was clad in black Chinese silks whose primary feature was a gold embroidered dragon coiling up his body, while a long pigtail bound his black crop of hair. His blue eyes scanned the back ally they had stepped into as the woman joined his side, her luscious green mane of hair floating with the light breeze created by the temporal gate at their backs. The staff in her hand bore an uncanny resemblance to a large key, and she drew a sign into the air with it. While her motions left no trace, the gate at her back instantly began to loose cohesion, collapsing in upon itself as if it had never existed. The green-haired woman gave the staff a twirl and banished it from sight, and with it, the black and white fuku she had been wearing. Moments later the pair stepped out onto the sidewalk, the young man still in his black silks while the woman now sported a lavender skirt and jacket. 

Blue eyes flicked back and forth, scrutinizing the environment and people around him. "Well, it _looks_ like Nerima…"

"This time it _is_." She assured him with a nod.

Instead of the smile she had been expecting with the assurance, a mask of steady neutrality remained on her partner's face. He gave a sniff, as if testing the air. "It's good to be home and all, but part of me ain't lookin' forward to this."

The woman rested a light hand on his shoulder in sympathy. "It'll turn out just fine."

Her words earned a wry smile from the young man's face. "Oh, and I'm supposed to just take your word for it?"

The young woman blinked, as if shocked. "Not just _my_ word for it."

"Hers too." He added, folding his arms across his chest and affecting a look of annoyance. "One of these days me and her are gonna have a little talk."

"Now, hun," She chided. "Don't make me explain temporal causality to you _again_."

The pigtailed martial artist winced.

"After all, what fun would it be if I let myself know everything that was going to happen in advance?" The young man already knew the answer to that particular question. Things would get pretty damn boring pretty damn fast. Then you'd start to second guess yourself. Temporal causality sucked in his opinion. "That way?" She asked, motioning down the sidewalk.

He nodded and continued the conversation as they began walking. "Not that I don't wanna see 'em all again, but it's been what… Twenty years? I mean, we're dead to them."

"Subjectively," She corrected. "Only six months have passed here, remember? It was the closest I could get us. Besides, what are you complaining about? You got the better funeral."

The black clad young man smiled at her artificial scowl. "Feh. Half those people hated my guts anyway."

The scowl disappeared in favor of a mischievous grin and Sestuna smiled. "True. Little Saffron was _so_ pissed you went and died on him with the staves in your possession."

"Serves him right." The pig-tailed boy's grin widened, then faltered. "Wonder how Mom's gonna be with all this… And I ain't lookin' forward to reigniting the fiancée wars."

The green haired woman elbowed him as they rounded a corner. "You worry too much. Besides, I have a surprise for you."

The man at her side noted the glint in her eyes and considered her warily. "It ain't like the last one, is it?"

"Nope." She piped. "This one is much better."

The young man sighed. "I'm so screwed."

"If you're lucky." She whispered seductively. "But for now, let's go tie up some loose ends."

* * *

"You sure this is the place?" A short pigtailed girl asked, looking up to the boy at her side. She brushed a green strand of hair from her eyes and gave the structure another once-over. 

The red-headed teen nodded sharply. "Definitely the place. After all, how many schools of indiscriminant grappling can their possibly be in this town?" The girl cast a dry look up at him and he shrugged. "Okay, right. But Pop's directions were pretty specific."

She sighed, conceding the point. "No denying that it's the highest concentration of power this side of Tokyo either, I guess." She paused cocking her head. "Think we should wait for Mom and Pop?"

"Nah." He replied. "Besides, I'm hungry. Aunt Kasumi will fix us something."

"As long as she isn't a vampire, like last time." The pigtailed girl quipped, causing the boy to visibly pale.

"Ok, point taken." He admitted. "So we go in, make sure Auntie isn't a vampire and have a snack."

"And Aunt Nabiki?" She arched an eyebrow and the young man sighed.

"You just _had_ to bring that up, didn't you?"

"Well _excuse me_ if I don't feel like being gutted by a two foot long blade made of bone." The girl snorted.

"Come on, we were eight then." He rolled his eyes. "Besides, Mom assured us that this is the right time frame this time." She opened her mouth once more and the young man preempted her this time. "And don't _even_ get started on Aunt 'Kane, got it?"

"Can't say I didn't warn you." The green haired girl replied innocently.

The red headed boy mumbled something under his breath and responded by walking up to the properties front gate giving the bell a shake. They only waited a moment before the gate creaked open, revealing the smiling visage of Kasumi Tendo clad in a conservative pink dress and apron.

"Welcome to the Tendo do—" She stopped mid sentence and peered over the young man's shoulder. "Oh my."

The boy turned around to find his sister covering her face with one arm and the other thrust out towards Kasumi, holy cross in hand. He let go a labored sigh and turned back to the eldest Tendo sister. "You aren't by any chance a vampire, are you?"

Kasumi considered the question a moment, as if she actually had to think about it. "Goodness, no."

The girl peeked out from behind her arm, the cross faltering. He turned back to Kasumi. "And Nabiki wouldn't happen to own a two foot short sword made of bone that steals the life energy of its victims?"

Kasumi's eyes widened, but she shook her head to the negative. The green-haired pig tailed girl almost dropped her guard completely. "How about Akane? Does she wield a ki born mallet of death and destruction?"

Kasumi blinked and put a finger to her chin. "Now that you mention it, yes she does." A kind smile formed on her face once again. "But she doesn't use it much these days."

The pair stared at Kasumi Tendo, then gave each other a shared look. "What do you think, Sis?"

The girl pursed her lips and shrugged. "Two out of three ain't bad, I guess."

Kasumi considered the strange pair. They looked eerily familiar. About seventeen or eighteen if she were any judge and the way the girl wore her hair… the boy's spiky styling wasn't recognizable, but the red hair was triggering all sorts of memories in the eldest Tendo's brain… She broke from the train of thought as the two finished there deliberation. Whatever was about to happening, it was probably best to continue it inside.

Something was telling her that dinner might be a little late tonight.

* * *

Nabiki stepped down stairs, stomach grumbling. This in itself was not odd. It had been a long day of money collections and extorting, and that was always bound to work up an appetite. No, what was unusual was the fact that she wasn't smelling dinner. In some ways that was good, as it meant her little sister had yet to step foot in the kitchen. She was getting better, but anything more complex than boiling eggs or rice was bound to taste like a flavored cinder block. 

A _badly_ flavored cinder block, that is.

On the other hand, it also meant Kasumi wasn't cooking yet, which meant that some anomaly had manifested itself in the eldest sister's household regiment. These days it probably was something mundane, like running out of soy sauce or the like. Still, making money worked up an appetite, and if dinner wasn't forthcoming, she'd have to take matters into her own hands.

She stopped short of the living room, finding Kasumi leading two guests into the house. Her dinner was being delayed for… Strangers. Nabiki hid the scowl with a mastery born from years of experience. Maybe she could help expedite their departure… or find some form of monetary compensation through their presence. She stepped fully into the living room, and the pair caught sight of her.

What the _hell!_

The same details that had given her older sister pause flashed through brain, and Nabiki's knife-like thought process broke them down and dissected them at lightning speeds few others would have been capable of. There was no mistaking the family resemblance and she knew for a fact that the Saotome's weren't expecting other children, let alone ones that were her age. Extended family? Not likely, she decided. The green hair on the girl was a bit out of the ordinary, but the boy's red hair screamed 'Ranko'. They even carried themselves like the former fiancée to be. The boy even had his eyes, dammit!

"Heyas, Auntie Nabs." The boy waved nonchalantly, while the girl seemed to be studying her warily.

Nabiki tore her eyes from the two newcomers to Kasumi paled face. The eyes told her everything she needed to know. "Umm… Kasumi… Who are our_… guests?"_

The boy visibly deflated at the question and the girls face turned grumpy. Kasumi took another sidelong glance at them. "Uh, this would be… Um…" The eldest Tendo sister hesitated nervously, looking at the boy.

"Ono." The boy filled in for her, holding up a hand. Nabiki blinked.

"Ranko." The pigtailed girl supplied. Nabiki blinked again.

"…Saotome." Kasumi finished in a revenant whisper, confirming her sister's suspicions. It took everything she had to remain composed, let alone upright. Her brain latched onto the first, most obvious fact available to it… Ranma was _alive_. Some how, against all odds, the bastard had lived through the impossible… AGAIN. Too many possibilities and scenarios began to assault her mental process, so she concentrated on the next most obvious fact—These were his _children._ She didn't even bother pursuing the implications _that_ fact left hanging. There really wasn't any need to, after all…

"Wait a minute." Nabiki stopped short with sudden realization. "Your ages are all wrong."

Ono Saotome sighed, looking down at his sister. "Don't suppose you want to explain it…?"

"Forget it, Onee-chan. I explained it last time." Ranko crossed her arms in rejection.

"Damn." The spiky red-head grumbled. "I'm starting to really hate explaining temporal mechanics and planular domain theory to the Tendos…"

"Told ya we shoulda waited for Mom and Pop." Ranko shrugged oblivious to her brother's consternation.

"Sailor Pluto."

The name caught the brother and sister's head on a swivel, causing them to stare at Kasumi with wide eyes. Even Nabiki looked at her sister with curiosity. "Who did you..."

"Your mother is Sailor Pluto." Kasumi stated pleasantly.

The pair stared at Kasumi, then each other. Ono spoke first. "You know, I think she's the first Kasumi that's gotten it right the first time…" Ranko nodded dumbly.

"As in the Sailors?" Nabiki asked with incredulity, to which Kasumi nodded. "The same Sailors Ukyo hangs out with?" Another nod. "Want to explain that one to me?"

"Well, everybody knows that Sailor Pluto is the Mistress of Time, after all," Kasumi rationalized. "And it would seem that Ranma's… _children_ have experience with time travel. Combine that with his association with the Sailors themselves..." She looked at Ranko. "After all that, the red eyes and green hair was a dead give-away." Ono, Ranko and Nabiki stared at the eldest Tendo in silence.

"She was less creepy as a vampire…" Ranko mumbled, to which Ono nodded. Even Nabiki had to agree. Of course, she always did seem to have at least one of those medical books lying around…

"Ok, so it's not exactly a surprise that Saotome is alive…" Nabiki recovered, ticking the point of on her finger. "But getting married to a Senshi is a bit of surprise… And the kids… How do you explain them , Kas-chan?"

"Hmmm… It probably something to do with…" She consider the quandary, then turned to the teens. "Oh my, you must be starved after all that time travel!"

Giant sweat drops rolled off the trio's heads, while the brother and sister decided their father was right… The weirdness just never stops in little ol' Nerima.

* * *

Ukyo Kuonji hopped from one roof to the other, stalking her prey with lethal precision as the last rays of light evaporated from the evening sky. Everybody had a purpose in life, and since the death of Ranma Saotome- her fiancée –Ukyo had two. The first had been her childhood dream… To be an Okanomiyaki master like her father before her. The second came after Ranma's death… The single-minded focus of ripping Tokyo's remaining youma presence to shreds. This pursuit led her to a unique standing within her family, as she had become the clan's first Okanomiyaki Demon Hunter. 

It had, in fact, been one of the first things she had done after the funeral. The same combat spatula that had served her faithfully throughout the Fiancée Wars had been taken to a local shrine and consecrated with holy water and symbology, turning it into a weapon of divine youma retribution. Her shiruken spatulas- the same ones she cooked with -had received similar treatment, and come out of the process with an unexpected side effect…

They made for absolutely _divine_ okanomiyaki.

Be that as it may, it was Thursday night and that meant they had only one purpose in life—to dice youma into very small pieces.

The Okanomiyaki Master watched the sickly pink youma scramble from one ally to the next, aware that it was being pursued, but unable to discern by who or from where the threat bore. Ukyo slid three mini spatulas out of their leather bandolier, tucking them between her knuckles. An evil smile cracked her serious face as the youma rounded a corner and came to a dead end full of trash and debris.

_Now._

Three glimmering lines of silver sliced through and into the shadowed alley, illuminating it briefly before burying themselves into a demon that could be loosely described as female, if it weren't for the scales, fangs and oversized bone joints that stretched its skin like a bad case of malnutrition.

"_RRRooRRRoooWWRRLL!"_

The beast wailed as the first shiruken imbedded itself into the left hemisphere of its skull, taking a sunken, beady eyeball with it. The next two buried themselves in its ribcage and shoulder respectively, and the creature fell to the ground thrashing as flesh began to ignite around the wounds. A claw found the skull rooted shiruken and attempted to pull it out, only to elicit another howl as the hand closed around the glowing white spatula. Somehow it endured the pain and yanked the weapon free, sending it clattering to the ground. The action gained it little, however, as the charring continued to radiate outward from the wound like a virus.

"_Wherrrreee are yoouuuuu!" _The gravely female voice hissed in pain as it desperately sought its assailant. The whistle of wind was the youma's only reply, and it snapped its head skyward to find a menacing shadow already dropping down from on high.

"_FOR RAN-CHAN, BITCH!"_

The combat spatula came down in a perfect arc, replacing the shiruken that had been buried in its head with a slice that eviscerated the youma from head to toe. Her weapon and feet touched the earth simultaneously. The youma stood above her crouch for a moment, before falling apart, sliding length wise in two. Ukyo Kuonji brought herself back up to her full height as the separate youma halves flopped to the ground and began to evaporate in a smoldering mist. The holy symbols on her combat spatula that had been glowing with the strike faded away as the last of the demon's life-force drained away into ether. The demon hunter-chef recovered her mini-shirukens and notched another mark into the leather bandolier with the last one, making for three tonight and a career high of fifty two confirmed kills.

Ukyo flipped the giant combat spatula around and slid it back to its resting place on her back, nodding with satisfaction. One of these days the little buggers were gonna learn not to screw around on her turf, she thought and turned on a heel, leaping back up to the roof. She extended her senses for a good few miles in every direction, failing to sense any more of the tainted creatures. While it was good she wasn't sensing them, it was also odd that she wasn't sensing anybody else. Normally at least a couple of Sailors would be on patrol tonight, but all she could feel was the concentration of power on the far end of Juuban. The apartment, of course. So why were they all sitting around back there?

She had done her share for tonight. Time to find out.

It took less than ten minutes to transverse the distance at high speed as she retraced the path she had taken so many times before to the Senshi's doorstep. She dropped down from another rooftop and stepped up to the apartment with a knuckle poised to rap on the door. The finger paused inches from the surface as Ukyo cocked her head, listening to the sounds coming from the inside. Some sort of commotion. A party? Argument? Her hand slipped around the doorknob, confident that the extenuating circumstances would permit her uninvited entry.

What she walked into was chaos, as familiar faces argued back and forth over some incomprehensible topic around Chibi and some kid— Ukyo's thought process froze as a vision tore open sealed memories from the past… She could only see the back of the boy's head, but the hair color and style began ripping open old wounds left and right. It _couldn't_ be. The boy turned around and Ukyo's heart nearly stopped.

_It was impossible_.

"Ran-chan…" She whispered. The kid in front of her was nearly a mirror image of her fiancée, had his biological clock been wound back five or so years. The hair... Face… Even a ponytail like her childhood friend from so long ago. The eyes…. Ukyo blinked.

The eyes were _purple_.

"Hey Auntie Uuks." The boy smiled, causing Ukyo to frown. Ran-chan didn't have purple eyes. Magic de-aging mushrooms, she could believe, but this… She squinted at the boy and began to notice subtle differences in his features. This was _not_ Ranma. Close, but not close enough to fool _her_ of all people. Her mind came to the only logical conclusion.

"_YOUMA!_" She snarled, bringing the combat spatula to bear. The boy's eyes widened and all the arguing around her instantly stopped.

"Uhhh…"

"You may be able to fool the girls here, but you ain't foolin' _me._" The shining spatula twirled in her hand, and the chef took an attack stance. The purple eyed boy took a step back, looking frantically for an escape route. She was blocking the only one. "And for impersonating the most important person in my life, it's time for you to die." She paused, an evil smile taking over her face. "_Painfully._"

"Ukyo, wait!" Usagi's intervention came a moment too late as Ukyo lurched forward, raising the edge of her spatula high.

"You're gonna _DIE_ little demon!"

"Eep!"

The weapon came down and was lost in a flash of purple light, blinding anybody looking in that direction. The flash didn't stop physics from happening and instead of the gratifying mushy thud Ukyo expected to feel, a cracking vibration greeted her grip as the giant utensil sliced an empty chair in half and gutted the floor beneath it. Ami winced at the property damage while Usa jumped back in horror.

"Where the little youma bastard go?" Ukyo inquired, scanning the apartment wildly while her eyes readjusted to more normal level of lighting. Everything still seemed to have a purplish hue, however.

"Real good, Ukyo…" Usagi stepped forward with a put-out look on her face. Ukyo's face was writ with incomprehension. "You just tried to split Ranma's youngest in half."

The Okanomiyaki master had only a moment to analyze her words before fainting dead away.

* * *

Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts stood on the property wall, looking down into the Saotome household. Beside him stood Setsuna, the Last Princess of Pluto and Guardian of Time, her hand entwined in his as the dusk glow faded from the night sky. 

"Be it ever so humble…" Ranma spoke softly, causing Setsuna to give his hand a soft squeeze. Silence drift between them as the sight sparked memories in Ranma head, most of those being early childhood. As a young man, however, he had spent less than a year there and now the only thing that made it home was the people therein, specifically his mother. She was a person he hadn't seen since five years old after being spirited away on a martial arts training voyage, and once he was finally ready to begin life anew with her her again, was spirited away on another adventure.

That one lasted two decades.

The martial artist gave the structure another once over, confirming that his mother was, in fact the only person within the house. It didn't take a genius to figure out where his old man was. He lifted Setsuna's hand and they both hopped down from the wall and walked across the yard to the door. Ranma took a deep breath.

"I can do this, Love." Red eyes shown at him with sympathy. "You know what's going to happen if you knock on that door."

Ranma took a deep breath, and his hand poised just beyond the door's surface. "Yeah, but this is something I gotta do for myself." Setsuna nodded and stepped back.

_knock-knock-knock!_

The pair waited a precious few moments before light footsteps could be heard making their way to the door. "One moment…!" The muffled female voice came from the inside and soon the doorknob was turning. A middle aged woman in a conservative dress and long chestnut hair answered the door, smiling warmly at her visitors. "Oh my, you're a very nice looking couple. May I help you?"

"Hi Mom…" Ranma replied carefully, and Nodoka Saotome's eyes instantly widened.

"You're… not…" The redhead's breathing Quickened, leading to one inevitable conclusion. Nodoka's eyes widened one last time and promptly rolled into the back of her head. Her body slackened and fell to the earth, where Ranma caught her deftly before she met it. Ranma looked fondly on his mother, who he hadn't seen in twenty years, and lifted her back up in his arms.

"Told you so." Setsuna shrugged and let herself in through the open door, Ranma following close behind, carrying his mother.

"Yeah, yeah. Rub it in." Ranma found the nearest sofa and set her down gently, looking on her unconscious form. "Guess I'll fix us something to eat while we wait."

Fifteen minutes later, Nodoka Saotome's eyes fluttered open. She propped herself up from the sofa, recalling a dream she had had many times before… That being Ranma still alive and not a fallen hero. Her vision cleared and she took stock of her surrounding, her gaze immediately falling upon her smartly dressed, green-haired visitor sitting in the opposite chair, reading one of her magazines. She coughed slightly to get the woman's attention and red eyes flashed upon her.

"Good evening, Mrs. Saotome…" She smiled. "Sorry to have startled you."

Nodoka simply looked upon the young woman curiously. "Did I…? Who are you?"

The woman stood up and walked over to Nodoka, who was testing her own balance. She looked upon the young woman and felt the briefest moment of envy. Not that she was jealous of her figure, which was exquisite, or her beautifully exotic hair, or the intelligence that sparkled in her eyes. No, she was jealous that her son couldn't have known such a specimen of womanhood.

"My name is Setsuna… Saotome." The woman smiled once more, reaching her hand out to encompass Nodoka's, who stared at her with incomprehension. Saotome? How was she a Saotome? Unless Genma--

"I'm your son's wife."

The eyes widened, and for a split second Setsuna was afraid that the woman in front of her would pass out again. Then the mouth fell into a silent "ooooh!" She stood there, frozen in time for a moment before lurching forward, capturing the unprepared Mistress of Time in bear hug. "Daughter!" The daughter in question gasped for breath and suddenly found herself released, the middle aged woman's eyes shining on her intently. "Is that my son I saw at the door then?"

"It is." Setsuna answered with a smile. "He's in the kitchen fixing us something to eat."

"Don't you cook?" Nodoka asked, her finely tuned sense concerning womanhood tripped.

Setsuna shrugged. "While I can cook, it's his hobby, not mine. Probably picked it up from you." Nodoka's eyes gained a happy, thoughtful light as Setsuna deftly sidestepped that particular pitfall. Her husband had warned her in advance of what to expect from his mother and smiled mentally at having successfully diverted her attention. That, and it helped to have experience with the other Nodoka's even if none of them were quite the same as this one. In fact, this one seemed downright sedate compared to the demon hunter of their last jump, or Evil sorceress from a plane best left forgotten. Of course, all of them wanted to know one thing…

"Where are my grandchildren?" She peered around the room expectantly, mildly disappointed to find herself and Setsuna as the only occupants.

"Well, one is with his girlfriend in Juuban and the other two are probably at the Tendo dojo as we speak." The Mistress of Time detailed, and the light in Nodoka's eyes shown even brighter. Frankly, it was beginning to unnerve Setsuna. In fact, the Saotome matriarch unnerved her every time they met, which was quite a feat considering the Guardian of Time was just this side of three thousand years old. Luckily, reprieve came in the form of her husband, who stuck his head out the kitchen door.

"Dinner will be ready in a few, Set-chan. Is she--" Ranma cut his inquiry short as those shining orbs rotated from his wife onto him.

"MY MANLY SON!" Setsuna's time stop couldn't have done any better, as one moment she was standing next to the Senshi and the next she was wrapped around Ranma, who thanked God he hadn't come out with dishes in hand. "You'reAliveYou'reAliveYou're AliveYou'reAlive!" She paused only to take another deep breath. "My manly son is alive!" another pause and her expression brightened even further, if at all possible. "WITH GRANDBABIES!" A sweatdrop rolled off the side of Setsuna's head, an action Ranma might of mirrored if he wasn't busy getting the life squeezed out of him. As it was, it took him a minute to break the half nelson.

"Uh, yeah Mom, I'm alive." Ranma scratched the back of his head and she lurched forward again, embracing him in another fierce hug. "Gack!"

"But how! That nice Moon girl and the Amazons said…" She frowned looking her manly son over. "…and you've matured!" It was obvious that the young man in front of her had filled out in both form and definition, as well as adding a couple inches to his height. If she wasn't mistaken, he was around 26 or so now… Which didn't make sense since he had only been gone for six months. Whatever the result of that absence, his lean, muscular frame indicated that he had undoubtedly kept up in the Art.

Ranma slumped, and glanced over at Setsuna. "Don't suppose you want explain it?"

Setsuna rolled her eyes. "Forget it. I explained it last time."

"Damn," Ranma grumbled. Ono Saotome wasn't the only one getting tired of explaining temporal mechanics and planular domain theory. He looked at his Mom and smiled. "Ok, have a seat. It goes like this… We successfully planted the bomb in the pocket universe and were evacuating everybody but ran into a problem…"

"Specifically, upwards around twenty thousand youma." Setsuna added, to which Ranma nodded.

"And we had to find a way to get out before being overran." Nodoka hung on every word of her son's harrowing escape as he continued. "I unleashed a devastating technique that gave us some breathing room, but effectively cut me off from our escape route. You really don't want to know how close I came to buying it there."

"What happened then…?" Nodoka leaned forward, concern showing in her eyes.

"Then a goddess happened by and saved my ass." He looked over at Setsuna, who was blushing madly. "Instead of getting me to the escape route, she brought the escape route to me. We hit the wormhole running, but the bomb went off just as we entered it, creating…"

"…A time-space improbability juncture." Setsuna took over naturally. "Basically, the Elerium blast wave sent a power spike through the wormhole resonate structure, sending it branching across no less than 582 planes of existence."

Ranma noted the glazed over look in his mother's eyes and interpreted his wife's explanation. "We got lost on the way back."

Nodoka nodded as if the preceding had actually made sense. "And along the way you fell madly in love, had grandbabies and lived happily ever after."

Setsuna blinked. "Um, I guess if you want the abbreviated version, yes."

Nodoka smiled knowingly as if everything had gone according to plan, which only served to unnerve Ranma's wife even more. "And when can I expect to meet them?"

"Well, the Tendo's are the--" The Senshi of Pluto cocked her head, as if she were a dog listening to a high pitched note. "On second thought, you may be meeting one right about…"

_PhooOOmP!_

"ACK! Don't kill me Auntie Ukyo!"

The frantic plea was accompanied by a purple burst of light, and by the time Nodoka had rubbed her eyes clear of it, a thirteen year old boy was crouched in the middle of her living room, covering his head as if the sky was about to fall on him. Nodoka stared at the boy curiously, who was only now beginning to peak out of his protective shell.

Setsuna shook her head, letting loose and exasperated sigh. "Don't tell me Auntie Ukyo tried to split you in half _again_…?" She turned to Ranma with a frown. "You really have to talk to her about that, hun."

Ranma arched an eyebrow. "_I do._ In every single damn reality we visit." He looked down at the boy, who was just regaining awareness of his surroundings. "Been causing trouble again, Akira?"

"Naw, just was visitin' Usa-chan when-- GACK!" The purple-eyed boy never knew what hit him as Nodoka Saotome rode in on full stealth and proceed to turn the boy into boney pulp.

"Aren't you just soooo CUUUTE!" She shook the boy around as he proceeded with all his skill to defy her grasp, a task at which he was remarkably unsuccessful in accomplishing. She thrust the boy out in front of her suddenly, nearly giving him whiplash. "Let's have a look at you! OOOoh, you look just like Ranma when he was your age! And the eyes! They're so exotic!"

"Oh, uh, heyas Grandma…" Akira had all but recovered from his shock, recognizing the person who now held him. "Uh, yeah. Blue and red."

Nodoka blinked. "You know who I am? Red and blue?"

"Of course I know ya, Grandma!" Akira smiled, pulling the adult into a hug of his own. "The eyes. Mom and Dad."

Nodoka smiled, but a curious expression inhabited her face. "How do you know who I am, child?"

"Easy, I--" Akira stopped short, catching his father's warning look. "Oh yeah. Forgot about that. Uh, nice to meet you Grandma!"

She cast a skeptical look up at her son, who quickly wiped his face clean of anything incriminating. "He knows everything about you, Mom."

She cast him one last look, before returning to the boy. "And how old are you?"

"Thirteen."

Nodoka did some quick calculations and found herself staring at the boy, then Ranma, then Setsuna. "Son, exactly how old are you?"

Ranma frowned. The question hadn't been so bad early on in his travels with Setsuna, as the age difference had never been noticeable. But after twenty years on the road with Setsuna and the children, it was becoming an increasingly common question. "Thirty eight, Mom."

Nodoka simply stared at her son. And stared. "You… You've aged well, son."

"Ain't nothing compared to Set-chan he--Oof!" The martial artist took an elbow to the ribs and lapsed into silence, rubbing his mid-section painfully.

"What the baka here is trying to say," She overtook the conversation forcefully. "Is that we have actually been gone nearly twenty years."

"Twenty _years?_" Nodoka mouthed in disbelief. "But… but _how?_"

Ranma and Setsuna nodded and Nodoka slowly released her grip on Akira. "The actual journey took us twenty years, but given my unique, eh, _gifts_, I was able to return us within six months of our disappearance while negating the effects of your son's aging."

"Time travel?" Nodoka blinked, trying to grasp the concept. "Is that _possible?_"

"Mom, I turn into a girl when splashed with cold water, you tell me." Ranma replied dryly, and Nodoka shrugged, conceding the point with a nod. "But yeah, it's possible. Another one of Set-chan's gifts is that I don't age normally."

"I see." Nodoka nodded. "So if I have all of this correct, you've been gone for about twenty years, are thirty eight years old even though you look twenty-five, married a magical girl and have three grandchildren?"

Setsuna nodded her own affirmation and Ranma simply said, "Yah."

"MY MANLY SON!"

Needless to say, a fierce glomping followed that _none_ escaped.

* * *

The shadows of night were busy claiming the land around the Tendo dojo as Ukyo Kuonji stalked through them. She was on a mission, and there would be no staying her purpose. Strange things were afoot tonight and she had to warn the Tendos, especially if their was a chance in hell that Ranma was alive. If there was there was one place he would eventually turn up with absolute certainty, it was here and she intended to be there when he did. 

She leapt over the compound's wall with ease and stepped up to the back door, her hand pausing at the doorknob. She cocked an ear to more precisely discern the conversation inside.

"And there you were running around with that sword," Now who was that? Ukyo wondered as she turned the knob softly. Some new girl? "like you were possessed or something!"

"You can't be serious." That was Nabiki's voice, she noted. The dry, doubting tone could only be hers. "I don't even _own _a sword."

"Swear to God, Auntie." A lower voice continued. Definitely a guy. Wait… Auntie? "You were chasin' ol' Grandpa like crazy! Chop! Chop! Chop!"

'Chop chop chop?' Ukyo twitched as she stepped through the hallway. While chasing the old Panda down and serving up panda steaks did paint a lovely image, she just couldn't see Nabiki with any sort of weaponry, let alone a possessed sword.

"Oh my," Kasumi started, looking over the teens shoulders. "We weren't expecting you, Ukyo-chan."

The Okanomiyaki Master now stared on the strange group, and a familiar wave of deja'vu rippled through her. Kasumi and Nabiki were familiar of course. She saw them at least once a month, more if they stopped by her restaurant. No, the deja'vu was born of the teens next to them, one spiky haired red-headed boy and one green haired pig-tailed girl who was a dead ringer for Ranma's female aspect. The red hair on the boy was telling enough and if she could have combined the styling, her best friend's girl type would have been sitting right there in front of her. Still, the girl, like the boy she had seen a mere fifteen minutes ago, wasn't an exact match to the faces she knew too well. This Rankos' features were sharper and if her sitting proportions were any indication, slightly less busty, even if the ages were fairly close.

"Let me guess…" Ukyo pointed to the kids, looking at Kasumi. "More of Ranma's kids?"

Kasumi nodded cheerfully and Nabiki picked up on the slight twist of grammar. "'More' kids?" She stared at the two who had been snacking on Kasumi's homemade cookies. They paused under the scrutiny.

Ranko shrugged. "Musta been Akira." She a paused looking, looking up at the chef expectantly. "You didn't try to split 'Kira-kun in half again, did you, Aunt Uuks?"

Ukyo blinked. As a matter of fact she had. With that thought, she snapped. _"How the hell do you know so much about us!" _

"Think I can explain that, Ucchan."

She whirled around at the all too familiar voice and found him, Ranma Saotome. There were differences. He had aged. Slightly taller. But Ukyo knew beyond a shadow of a doubt. This was the real thing. He was exactly how she had pictured them growing up together as a couple. The chef was so caught up in the moment that her brain barely registered the two women next to him, and she slammed into him hard enough to pin him to the doorway.

"RANCHAN!" Ranma let out the slightest of 'oofs' as he was nailed to the door and locked in a fierce embrace that he readily accepted. It had been a long time for Ranma too. Even though nearly every reality they had visited had an Ucchan, they were all different in some intrinsic way. This one was _his_. "Oh God, I thought I lost you! I thought I…" The rest of her words became intelligible as she lapsed into incoherent sobbing.

"I missed you too, Ucchan…" Ranma simply stroked her head as she cried in his shoulder. Setsuna smiled and the kids collected around her, now numbering three. The two additions didn't go unnoticed.

"Is that Ono? And Ranko?" Both children turned from the beautiful scene to one they had come to dread over the many realities they had visited. The light shining in Nodoka Saotome's eyes had an unnatural gleam to it. "GRANDBABIES!"

"Ack! Gramma! Cut it out!" A pitched female voice hollered from one arm while the arm squirmed with the redheaded boy.

"No! Not agaaaain!"

The commotion was enough to break Ukyo from her joyful reunion and stare as Nodoka wrestled with the teens. "You all better now, Auntie Ukyo?" Her sight came down to find the little Ranma with purple eyes she had attacked earlier.

"Almost, kiddo." She smiled faintly, then looked back up to Ranma. "Almost. You _really_ have some explaining to do, Sugar." Her eyes then turned to the woman who was watching with amusement as the two other children had the life crushed out of them. "Got somebody you want to introduce me to?"

"Eh…" From experience, Ranma knew this situation could break any number of ways from grudging acceptance to outright violence. Not that his wife couldn't handle anything the chef could literally dish out, but it'd be a shame if he'd have to subdue his best friend. "Ukyo, meet Setsuna… My wife."

Silence hung in the air for a few precious moments as the two sized up one another. In a detached part of her brain, Ukyo could see what might have attracted her…ex-fiancée to the woman. She could have given any of the fiancées a run for their money in the looks department alone, not to mention having a figure to die for, something she evidentially had no trouble showing off. Between the green hair and red eyes, exotic was definitely one word for her. Woman… The word hung in her mind as a statement in itself. This was by no means a girl or a teen, and that put her in a class by herself. Under any other circumstances, she might have thought Ranma seduced by her maturity, until coupled with the fact that the Ran-chan next to her was nearly the same age. Somewhere in his six month journey back to Nerima he had aged nearly ten years, acquired a wife and three children, the oldest of which looked about as old as Ranma used to be.

The mathematical discontinuity helped to blunt most of her jealousy.

"Um, nice to meet you…" She strained. "I guess."

Setsuna inclined her head graciously. It was probably as good a greeting as she was going to get at the moment. "Likewise. I've been looking forward to meeting Ranma's best friend."

"And fiancée." Ukyo added, somewhat bitterly. Setsuna held her silence while the girl turned to study Ranma further. "What the hell happened to you Ran-chan?"

"Good question."

"Indeed."

Ranma now had three sets of eye balls riveted to him and he sighed. "Goddamn temporal mechanics."

"Ranma-chan never seems to have a problem with temporal theory." Setsuna mentioned with a mischievous smile that boardered just this side of mysterious to everybody else watching the pair curiously. Ranma scowled.

"Oh sure, laugh it up." The pig tailed martial artist commented dryly before turning to the others. "I'll explain, but it's long and I don't wanna repeat it five hundred times. Where's Akane and the parents?"

"Father and Mister Saotome have taken the night out and Akane…" Kasumi let an uncharacteristic pause creep into her answer. "Um, Akane is…"

"On a date." Nabiki finished with her usual consideration for others. Ranma blinked. A date? The Tendo held out her hand expectantly. "Two thousand yen."

Ranma was still stumbling over the fact that Akane was on a date of her own volition when his wife cut in. "Now, now. We don't want to ruin the surprise for my husband."

Nabiki turned her attention to the red-eyed woman, who was supposedly the martial artist's wife with a mixture surprise and doubt. "You know?"

"My dear, I am the Senshi of Time." She chided Nabiki as if lecturing a small child. "I'm the one who arranged it, after all."

Nabiki's eyes widened and the color drained from her face. It was, of course, impossible. But the Senshi of Time… had hooked her sister up… with… _that person_. The Tendo took a step back, realizing that this woman's manipulations not only eclipsed hers own by several magnitudes but they were outright devious, if not downright perverted in nature.

"You _didn't._"

"I did."

Nabiki stared incredulously at the green haired woman for a moment before her eye began twitching. Slowly, she moved to the living room seat furthest from the Senshi, who simply smile serenely.

Ranma glanced from sister to wife. "I'm almost tempted to take you up on the offer now, Nabs."

Nabiki shook her head emphatically. "Uh-uh. The deal is withdrawn, Saotome." She continued to eye the Senshi of Time warily.

Ranma watched the trepidation pool in the middle sister's eyes, and turned back to his pleasantly smiling wife. He sighed. "I knew it. This one is much worse than Tau Ceti, ain't it?"

Setsuna gave him a friendly peck on the cheek. "My dear husband, I have_ no_ idea what you're talking about."

Nabiki shivered from across the room. This was her idea of a _present _to Ranma? No _fucking_ way was she going to cross _that _woman. Or Ranma. Or his children. Ever. Ranma, on the other hand, seemed to accept it as a fact of life, which it probably was, she realized. You get to know somebody pretty well after nearly twenty years of marriage, right? Well, whatever. Nabiki let her eyes float across the room's other players. The new kid was definitely younger, had weird purple eyes but otherwise looked like a smaller version of Ranma minus the pigtail. Been busy, she snorted mentally. Her eyes continued and stopped on her older sister. Nabiki frowned at the unnatural sparkle she had just noticed in Kasumi's eyes. They were directed on Ranma's person. Nabiki's thoughts stumbled. Oh you've _got_ to be kidding… No, it makes sense, the middle Tendo corrected herself. He may have not been when he first arrived three years ago, but Ranma Saotome was definitely a man's man now. She could see why Kasumi was paying all kinds of attention now. With his well defined body and matured looks, he had moved from her little brother to a high school girls wet dream, let alone somebody would show up on Kasumi's radar… As if he didn't elicit that reaction in half Furikan's population already.

"The nerve of him, Tendo!" A gruff voice braked with indignation, cutting through the idle chit chat that the family had been engaged in. The door opened, admitting one balding, fattened martial artist and his friend, a skinnier, mustachioed man with black hair. "Kicking us out like that!"

"I thought you said you paid off the bar tab, old friend…?" The skinnier man questioned as the two moved deeper into the house and into the sight of the others.

"Well, I, uh… Oh look! You have guests, Tendo!" Genma Saotome dodged the inquiry, successfully diverting his long time friend's attention.

Soun Tendo stopped in the hall and studied the strangers mingling with his family. "It would appear you're correct Saotome." The children were what his eyes fell upon first, noting two his daughters age and a third in his early teens. His expert eye, however, noted they were all martial artists. All the better, a part of his dim thought process noted, always on the lookout for potential suitors for his daughters now that Saotome couldn't hold up his end of their old bargain. Not through any fault of his own, of course. You couldn't ask for anything better than a son who saves the world. The younger boy was too young, the girl was, well, a girl, but the spiky haired red would do just…

"Nodoka-chan, what are you doing here?" Genma blinked, skipping over the strangers directly to his wife, who was presently conversing with a green haired young lady.

"Oh, I'm glad you're home early," Nodoka turned to the new arrivals, motioning the younger lady to her side. "I'd like to introduce you to somebody very important."

Genma's eyes narrowed. She didn't have the honor blade, but she had the smile. That mischievous smile. On average, he didn't like what the smile held in store for him, but it was far too late to extricate himself now. "And who is that?"

"Our daughter in-law!"

Genma blinked and immediacy began to wonder what wild scheme his wife was involved in now. The boy's death had rattled her to be sure, but this was a bit beyond the norm. He studied the woman at her side and wondered how he was going to break the news that there was no husband to be or engagements to be had. "Look, don't know what my wife has told you but there's no way you can be our daughter in-law."

Setsuna blinked innocently. "And why is that… father?"

The bald martial artist winced. Dammit, he was too late and she was too ensnared in his wife's machinations. "Because we don't have a son to be wed to."

"Is that right?"

Genma knew that voice. Knew it well. He spun around and found the visage of his son, older, but his son none the less. There was only one thing that came to mind as he ran into the young man, wrapping him up in a fierce bear hug. "Ungrateful boy! What do you think you're doing, dying like that! You, um, had your mother worried stiff!"

Ranma endured the throttling before breaking the embrace easily, allowing his father to soak in the details. Soun stepped to his side, studying the presumed dead martial artist. "Your son is… grown up, Saotome." He frowned at the implication. On second thought, Ranma wasn't completely outside the range to be engaged to his daughters, specifically Kasumi.

"Indeed he has, Tendo!" Genma grinned from ear to ear, taking the fact that Ranma looked nearly a decade older with a grain of salt, yet another one of the mysterious circumstance that plagued the boy's existence on a daily basis. Then he gained a thoughtful countenance, as if picking up on his friend's concern. In truth, their mental processes were never too far from mirroring one another on a certain topic. "Hmmm, a bit too old to marry your Akane or Nabiki now. I think--"

Ranma stepped back with bland look on his face. "I think you missed an important plot development." Genma and Soun blinked. They had missed something? A green haired young lady stepped up to his side. "My wife Setsuna Saotome."

"How do you do Mister Saotome?" She inclined her head gracefully and it took Genma a moment to recover.

"Well you can always--"

"_And_ our three children Ono, Ranko and Akira." Ranma beckoned their offspring over, who lined up around them. Genma and his partner were left speechless. Ranma was married. With children. How do you force an engagement through that? Luckily, one person had the answer.

"Kasumi will just have to become Ranma's mistress." Nodoka stated with ineffable calm. The reactions varied. Kasumi instantly lapsed into a glowing blush, which might have had something to do with the fantasies creeping into her head. Ranma twitched. No matter how many times this happened, he'd never get used to it. Setsuna simply sighed with a frown. Nodoka's were all the same when it came to the driving need for grandbabies.

"No mistresses, Mom." Ranma replied with a calm born of numerous exposures to this exact same situation. "Got a wife, got kids."

"But…"

"No buts." Ranma stated firmly. It had taken him several realities with Nodoka's single minded focus to build up that level of forceful resistance to his mother's relentless focus, but he had finally developed a healthy resistance to it; even the saddened face that now reflected upon him. Even as Ranma stopped one of the Nermian gears of fate cold, another one loosed itself upon his life once more.

"That's it!" Genma shouted. "Fear not, Tendo, the schools can still be joined!"

All eyes turned on the elder Saotome and Ranma felt the first twinges of fear. Genma's random spurts of inspiration were something to be on guard for. They normally led to random chaos and problems for his son more often then not, and Ranma wasn't looking for any more to call his own.

"Look, Pops…"

"Indeed, Saotome?" Soun leaned forward with interest, ignoring Ranma completely.

"It's right her in front of us, old friend!" Genma smiled confidentially. "Obviously the boy is married. Can't do anything about that… But his son, however…"

Ranma's gut turned to solid ice. Setsuna frowned. How they could not have seen this one coming was totally and completely beyond them. Soun Tendo's blank look persisted for a moment before realization dawned on him. "You're right!" Both parents were now staring intently at the redheaded Ono Saotome.

"What?"

"Run." His father whispered. "Run while there's still--"

"Ono, grandson!" Soun latched on to one arm and Genma latched on to the other. "Am I to understand you're single?"

"Well…?"

"Excellent news, grandson!" Genma piped cheerfully. "You're engaged!"

"WHAT?" Ono shrieked, trying to wrestle his way out of their grip. "How the hell am I engaged! Pop, what the hell? To who!"

"Talk some sense into him before I vaporize them, hun." Setsuna growled, her red eyes flashing with threat.

Ranma took Setsuna's advice to heart. "Look old man, you ain't engagin' nobody agai--"

"To my daughters, of course!" Soun replied happily. "This is my daughter Nabiki, she's eighteen and Kasumi, who is twenty." Soun directed his attention to the girls in question. Nabiki was now staring daggers into her father while Kasumi's mouth simply hung open. "Choose the one you want. She's your fiancée."

The young Ono Saotome was now looking at his grandparent in total disbelief as Nabiki turned to her father. "You know, I think Kasumi would be a much better--"

"Oh no, Nabiki." Kasumi cut her sister off politely before she could get going. "While I want to marry an Ono, I'd prefer mine to be a doctor." She paused, her face turning a bright pink. "Oh my, did I just say that?"

"I'm _not_ marrying a martial arts jock, sister." Nabiki stated.

"Who are you callin' a martial arts jock!" Ono bristled from near by and the grandparents laughed heartily.

"See, old friend?" Genma stated with a wide smile. "They're a perfect couple already!"

"Indeed they are, Saotome!" Soun replied with an equally wide smile.

"Have I ever mentioned that your parents are complete and utter morons, Ran-chan?" Ukyo leaned in and Ranma nodded soberly.

"At this rate, he'll have all my old fiancées engaged to him in no time." Ranma observed dryly as his son and Nabiki argued back and forth.

"Though the red hair does make him kinda cute." Ukyo replied wistfully. "And since I can't have you…" She looked at her best friend, who now wore a horrified expression. She smiled evilly.

"Gotcha."

Ranma shook his head. "That wasn't very nice."

"Consider it payback for hauling off, adding ten years and getting married on me." Ukyo replied with mock indignation.

"You don't know the half of it." Ranma muttered, earning another look from the chef. "Tell you when Akane--"

"We're home!"

"--gets here." Ranma blinked as the familiar voice rang through the air.

Akane Tendo stepped into the room, pausing as she noticed all the people. The tall girl behind her almost ran into her when she stopped and both were now looking around curiously. Ranma paled. It wasn't the sight of Akane Tendo that produced the reaction. No, it was the girl she was holding hands with. She was a tall, busty brunette, the martial artist observed and not just a little on the attractive side.

She was also _fully equipped_, if memory served.

Akane had yet to catch sight of him, and he turned to his wife, who was barely stifling her giggles. "You didn't…"

"Consider it an early birthday present." Setsuna smiled evilly and Ranma twitched.

"You fixed her up with _Makoto Kashiwagi?_!" Ranma could barely keep his voice below a squeal.

His wife's evil grin lapsed into a patient smile. "It was the least I could do after having called my husband a pervert so many times." Ranma arched an eyebrow and Setsuna continued happily. "Besides, Makato was probably the best one I could have chosen for her."

"Really." Ranma folded his arms and eyed her skeptically.

"Really." Setsuna stated with pleasant certainty. "You don't even want to know how many boyfriends Akane would have broken if I hadn't--"

"RANMA!"

The martial artist's head turned on a swivel to find Akane Tendo gaping at him. "Hey Akane. What's new?"

"You're alive!" She jumped forward, practically mowing down anybody in her path to the pigtailed man. This ended with the inevitable "GACK!" being squeezed out of him.

"Oof! Now that ain't exactly new, Akane-chan."

Silence pervaded the room as everybody watched the reunion between old friends take place. Akane held on to Ranma for another moment before fully taking in the details of his seemingly impossible change, stating the obvious. "You've… Changed?"

Ranma smirked, glancing over her shoulder to the brunette waiting patiently for an explanation. "And you stole my fiancée."

Akane blushed. "B-Baka."

"Sometimes." Akane turned her attention to the new speaker, the red eyed, green haired woman. "I'm Setsuna Saotome… Ranma's wife."

Akane blinked, looking from martial artist to the woman and back. "Wife?"

Ranma nodded and motioned his children over. "These are my three kids. Ono and Ranko, seventeen and Akira, thirteen." He watched incomprehension spread across her face. "I've been gone twenty year, Akane-chan."

"But you just… We had the funeral…"

"Nope." Ranma explained gently. "We got kicked around on our way back. Took me and Set-chan twenty years and change just to get back to this point."

Akane looked from man to woman. "But… how!"

"I'm Sailor Pluto." Setsuna admitted. "Time travel is one of my gifts."

"You… you married a _magical girl_!" Akane gasped and Ranma couldn't help but to smile.

"Yeah, tell me about it." Ranma admitted, earning an elbow from his spouse.

"And had kids?" Akane stared at the three, barely comprehending how people who looked her age could possibly be Ranma's kids. The family resemblance was definitely there. The one called Ono had inherited his father's bright red girl-type hair in spikes, but held a lot of the sharper facial features of his mother, as did his sister, who, aside from the slightly off face and green hair, was nearly a mirror of her father's curse. The name Ranko was more than appropriate. Then there was the little one, Akira. That one was a mirror image of his father at thirteen, save the iridescent purple eyes.

"Personally, I can't believe you had three." Ukyo leaned in and Setsuna shrugged.

"I only had two."

Ukyo blinked and the statement hung in the air as the room's occupants digested it. Ranma's eyes flicked over to his wife. "Oh, you just had to bring that up."

"Payback for the age comment earlier." Setsuna smiled as realization dawned on Nabiki first.

"Is she saying…" Nabiki stared at the martial artist, then an evil grin crept to her face. "Oh no. This is too priceless!"

Ukyo watched as the realization found her, then Akane, who was now slack jawed. "You… You, _pervert!_"

"You sure you're the one to be making that call, A-chan?" Ukyo recovered from her shock, looking at the youngest Tendo, who instantly developed a bright pink blush. Genma gasped and Soun paled slightly.

Akane blushed for a moment, then glared at the chef, "Hey! Don't insult Mako-chan!"

"Me?_ I _never called her a pervert."

Akane looked down, ashamed, for a moment, and softly said, "I was wrong."

Makoto wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and gave her a little squeeze. "It's ok, Akane. I forgave you a long time ago; what you've done for me since then has more than made up for it."

Soun smiled at the depth of emotion between his little girl and her ... _signifciant other_. Then as Makoto's words echoed through his head, his smile faded, slowly shifting into a frown, and then a slavering maw as he entered full demon-head mode. "What have you been doing to my baby!" he roared.

Makoto gave a little shriek and cowered down, trembling and stammering, "S-scary!"

Fortunately, the demon was banished moments later by a forceful mallet blow to the head and a battle cry of "Daddy! Stop picking on Mako-chan!"

Ranma scratched the back of his head and remarked, "That looked strangely familiar, somehow..."

Nabiki chuckled at the scene and turned to Nodoka with a shark-like grin. "That doesn't sound like a manly martial artist to me."

"On the contrary," The Saotome matriarch corrected. "It's very manly of my son to pleasure his wife in every way shape and form… And make more grandbabies, of course."

Nabiki as a rule didn't blush often. Her profession demanded a poker face at all times. This one time, however, it cracked as her playful barb at Ranma was turned back on her. A quick peek into her mind might have even revealed a little jealousy, because if there was one thing Nabiki was, it was practical. She probably would have put his curse to good use too.

Ono Saotome held up his hand. "More information than I need to know."

"Same here." Ranko blanched.

"Pop ain't no pervert." Akira glared at his Aunt Akane, and she smiled weakly in return.

"Of course he isn't." Akane managed, taking her own dates' hand… A tall, long legged busty brunette. Ukyo was right. She really didn't have any room to talk anymore. "We're all just surprised that he…"

"Adapted to the curse so well?" Ranma finished, eliciting nods from the entire family. "Let's just say I had some help." The sidelong glance back to Setsuna didn't go unnoticed.

"Help?" Akane wondered aloud.

"What sort of… Help?" Ukyo continued, her mind conjuring up images of a green haired whore seducing her best friend.

"You all know the wish I made on that stupid sword, right?" More nods, and Ranma continued. "Well, it wasn't nearly as stupid as we all thought. I found out why I could never get a moment's peace and it was because of her." Ranma jabbed a thumb back at Setsuna who smiled.

"You're wife?"

"Yep." Ranma nodded. "About your time six months ago, she thought I was the bane of human existence. She couldn't kill me so she set about 'occupying' my time."

"True love." Nabiki quipped dryly. Ranma managed to ignore the comment.

"Well, the wish told me all about her and her activities. Everything from assassination attempts to arranging marriages for me." Ranma explained, prompting an 'Oh my' from Kasumi. "That wasn't the problem though. The problem was everything else the wish was doing."

"And what was it doing, Son?" Nodoka inquired curiously.

"Stuffing my brain with the life and times of the Princess of Pluto here." Ranma took the aforementioned princess's hand gently, even as she frowned at the recollection of events. "The wish basically downloaded every memory she had into my brain over a period of six months."

Ukyo shrugged. "So you know her really well. How bad can that be?"

"I'm over three thousand years old." Setsuna stated flatly, cutting off any further questions. "Normal human memory suffers from information decay. Data drop-off. No way could I possibly recall what I was doing 238bc, but the magic Ranma invoked suffered no such restrictions."

"You were chatting with Ptolemy the third." Ranma shrugged and the family looked at him with disbelief. "Having the curse only made it worse. I was going insane for a bit, thinking I was her at times."

"Then how…"

"Did I stay sane?" Ranma asked rhetorically. "Well, my princess here helped out a lot." Nobody missed the affection with which Ranma termed his princess or the blush on her cheeks that followed "And we had help from a Sailor Moon."

"_A _Sailor Moon?" Kasumi picked up on the subtle twist of grammar in reference to her heroine, and Setsuna fielded the answer.

"Our journey took us to several worlds and across many realities." She explained patiently. It was actually a well rehearsed speech, given how many times they had both been through it. Even the kids were yawning. "Many of those realities bear a close resemblance to this one."

"So you found _a _Sailor Moon and healed Ranma." Nabiki pushed with no small amount of skepticism. Of course, there was that image with her and cursed sword floating around in her head…

"Yep." Ranma took over. "Wasn't a complete success, but it was enough to maintain my sanity… Not to mention my manhood."

"So what does that have to do with your curse, Ranma-san?" Mako-chan asked politely from behind Akane.

The pig tailed martial artist paused before answering. "The lines blur a bit further."

"Sounds more like mom." Ranko inserted, causing her brother and sister to nod in agreement.

"So three thousand years worth of memories plus your girl-type…" Ukyo theorized, letting the answer drift off unfinished.

Ranma nodded. "I've had plenty of time and opportunity over the last twenty years to come to terms with that part of me. Hell, I don't even consider it a curse any more."

"Obviously not." Nabiki muttered to nobody in particular.

"Luckily, that's all in the past." Soun stated agreeably. "You survived, got married and returned with an honorable way to join--"

A black glow erupted around Ranma and everybody, save his wife and kids took a step back on reflex. A shadow aura rolled around the martial artist, turning him into a black caldron of malcontent, offset only by his sparkling blue eyes. The gold embroiled dragrons on black silk only served to make the effect more surreal.

"I really, really hope the next words out of your mouth weren't going to be _'join the schools'_." The shadow Ranma growled with considerable menace. "If you have a question about honor, you'll take it up with me. _Not _my kids."

A pink flash of light contrasted against the shadows and Ranma was joined by a transformed Sailor Pluto at his side, who flipped the time key through an arc on reflex. "And after my husband is done with you, I get _my_ turn."

Both father figures stepped back once more. "B-but Son!"

"_If_ Ono wants the hand of a Tendo, he can court her like any other boy his age." Ranma's glare burned into his father, who tried to shrink against the far wall. "I won't have you suffocate _another_ relationship with your inane scheming." He let his stare burrow into the pair a bit longer before the shadows faded away. He turned to his mother in a considerably gentler tone. "No mistresses either, Mom."

She waved the comment aside with a smile. "Of course not. I'm more than satisfied with your manly performance."

The blue eyes flicked back to the awe stricken pair. "I've had twenty years to perfect the art, and I guarantee you I'm a grandmaster in _every_ sense of the word. Set-chan here has more than enough power in her little finger to reduce you to cinders. Do yourself a favor and _leave it alone._"

"Uh, right…" Genma gulped nervously, his friend following suit with an excited nod. Whatever the boy had been doing, his power was easily exceeding that of the old master.

Setsuna studied the sweating pair a moment longer and turned to her husband. "Think they'll listen?"

"Not a chance."

* * *

Setsuna Saotome watched as the dawn's light filtered across the Tendo dojo property and the man dancing across it. She smiled as her husband flowed through another kata at a fraction of the speed he was capable of producing. Regardless, she knew that this particular exercise wasn't about speed or power. It was about control and centering himself. Quieting the wish borne memories. Kasumi Tendo stepped out into the cool morning air and joined the Princess of Pluto to watch Ranma glide through his practice. To Setsuna's surprise, the eldest sister dipped into a low bow. 

"Thank you for bringing Ranma-kun back to us." Kasumi said in a low, reverent voice. "We will always be grateful for that one thing… no matter how some of us act."

"Really, it isn't that--"

"No, it is." Kasumi corrected softly. "Ranma was…_ is _like my little brother. Akane and Nabiki's as well, even if they won't admit it." She looked over to the young man in black, who was now airborne though a near impossible combination kick. "He really has gotten quite good."

"He's the best." Setsuna admitted with a soft smile. "It took me a few years to realize that, but he really is."

"He's been training you." Kasumi stated with certainty, and the green haired princess looked up at her in question. "It's obvious in the way you move."

Setsuna nodded. "And the kids. He's a great teacher. It all seemed to come to the forefront after he received his grand master's rating."

The pair of women watched Ranma for another few minutes before he abruptly paused his exercise, cocking his head curiously. It only took a minute for Setsuna to realize why, as she reached out with her own abilities. Kasumi looked at her curiously.

"Happosai." She grunted. "Must have picked up the power spike Ranma blew off last night." She smiled grimly. "Probably wondering who the guest is."

"Oh my." Kasumi gained a concerned look. "There won't me too much property damage, will there?"

"Hah!" Setsuna laughed. "He'll be lucky if he lasts five minutes against my husband, let alone the time it would take to damage a single blade of grass on your property."

Ranma sighed. "You can stop hiding in the tree, Happosai-sensei."

On cue the tree top rustled and the old master popped out, landing a mere three meters away. "Ranma, m'boy! You continue to surprise me!" He eyed the grown boy carefully. "Back from the dead and with a new found respect for your elders to boot!"

"Good to see you too, Master Happosai." Ranma bowed slightly and Kasumi was a bit thrown by the display of respect.

"It'll become obvious soon enough." Setsuna supplied, and Kasumi settled for a nod.

"My, my, my!" The old man smiled. "You might be trainable after all."

"If you have anything to train me, I'll be more than willing to learn." The martial artist smiled. Across the yard, Genma had frozen in the doorway. Like his son, he was accustomed to getting up early and practicing. What he was unaccustomed to was finding his newly resurrected son squaring off against the Pervert Master.

"Excellent!" The old gnome piped. "After we're done, you can tell me all about how you returned from the dead. First order of business is for you to try this on." Happosai pulled 'this' out, a lacy pink bra. He tossed the offering to Ranma, who caught it easily. The young man examined it and tossed it back.

"Think I'll pass." Ranma shrugged and Happosai began to growl.

"I thought you said you were ready to begin your training!"

Ranma blinked innocently. "Not that I don't appreciate it, but it ain't my type." Happosai blinked with surprise, a sentiment mirrored by his father across the yard. "I'm more into the black stuff personally. See-through and the like, you know?"

Even Kasumi had to blink this time, and Setsuna smiled up at her. "And you think he's kidding."

"Don't screw with me, boy!" Happosai snapped and a palpable wave of power filled the surrounding air. An angry blue glow surrounded the old master. "I felt the spike last night! What have you been up to, Ranma?"

"A little of this, a little of that." Ranma mused, incensing the pervert further. Under normal circumstances, Genma would have intervened to save his son from the massive can of whoop-ass his old master was about to unleash, but today wasn't normal and neither was his son. If the old pervert had seen Ranma's display last night, even he probably would have thought twice in provoking the boy. But as it was…

"Kick his ass, Boy!"

Ranma didn't even turn around as Happosai stared over his shoulder in surprise anger. "I'll deal with you later, Genma! Wear the bra or suffer my wrath, welp!"

Any trace of humor faded away from Ranma's face. What remained was cold and dead. The shadows flickered to life around the martial artist and spread over him like an angry, light absorbing flame. Soon, the only thing remaining was his blue eyes and the silken golden dragons.

"I'll take the wrath."

Happosai stared. In that moment, Ranma could have simply walked over and kicked his butt into low orbit. He knew it, but couldn't help but to stare in shock and awe. The boy was a goddamn reactor of power! The old master couldn't even take a step back he was so enraptured with Ranma's transformation. Even as he watched, air condensed around the martial artist and the ambient temperature dropped. Droplets of moisture spread along the grass around him and the shadow shifted from a masculine form to one far more feminine in nature. Happosai took a step back in dread. The boy had just manipulated the transformation without any external aid! He condensed the air around him, for cryin' out loud!

"Tell you what, master Happosai. We'll do this in my weakest form." The female shadow cracked her knuckles. "But if you've got something to teach me, you'd best bust out with it now."

There was no warning from the old pervert as he blurred in to open the enjgagement. He couldn't afford a warning against that kind of power, and he took the young heir hand to hand with his pipe. Ranma didn't even bother to step into an attack stance, deflecting every single last one of Happosai's high velocity strikes with ease. The master continued to probe what was presumably the pig tailed girl beneath the shadows, only to find an impenetrably wall of movement and deflections. The master disengaged abruptly and pair of bombs were pulled from his personal weapons space, fuses already crackling down. He tossed them in toward the martial artist, who simply let them them bounce off her chest and fall to the ground.

_BOOOOoooMMM!_

The explosion rocked the neighborhood with a compression wave of sound and light, waking everybody for miles. The combined Tendo and Saotome families were instantly out of their beds, watching the smoke waft away from the unharmed martial artist. While the Tendo's simply stared, Ranma's brood hung their heads and yawned.

"Damn, it's just Pop kicking Happi's butt again."

"I woke up for _this?_"

"Auntie Kas-chan, can you fix me breakfast?

The remaining family members were treated to Ranma burning the gaping old man down with a stare. There wasn't even a crater on the ground where Ranma was standing, like he had somehow absorbed the entire blast. "Better kick it up a notch, Sensei. I didn't even feel that."

A massive ki ball formed in Happosai's hand and ripped out toward Ranma, who casually defected it with an arm motion. The blue ball of energy arced skyward and promptly exploded, momentarily blotting out the sun for a split second. The martial artist frowned and took a step forward. The old pervert took a step back. "Strike two. Tell you what, old man… Promise not to ever show your face in Nerima again and I won't hurt you too bad."

"I'll show you true power, Boy!" Happosai proclaimed and his battle aura erupted from around him, growing in size. "See if I don't crush you!" The shadow Ranma simply shook her head and stepped up to the growing silhouette and reached into it with a dark gauntlet. As soon as her hand touched the barrier, the glowing blue aura halted its expansion. Happosai's eyes widened even further and the aura he was forcing power into began to shrink.

"Now, now. None of that." The shadow admonished coldly as it siphoned away the old man's power. The shadows around the Saotome seems to grow and lengthen as the aura shrank.

The martial artist seemed to teleport forward abruptly, blasting through what remained of the perverted master's battle aura and imbedding a high powered fist into his gut carrying him skyward. Happosai gained no more than ten meters of altitude before the shadow disappeared again, appearing above the gnome with an axe kick loaded for bear. The leg cracked down into the master's body. He fell to the Earth hard and Ranma fell with him, dark wisps of energy trailing behind her. Happosai fell into the last meter, and the martial artist teleported one last time, catching the gnome before impact. He hung dazed by one of Saotome's hand while shadows snaked around the other, forming into an insubstantial dark blade.

Happosai watched in terror as the swirling point found the space between his eyes. "As of this moment, your ties to the Saotome clan are officially _severed_. You won't enjoy what'll happen to you if I _ever_ see you again, _Sensei_."

"Where… where the hell did you learn all that!" Happosai gasped for breath between coughs, occationally accompanied by blood. The shadows dissipated from around Ranma, revealing a redhead far different than he or any of the others remembered. She was a couple inches taller and leaner. Her bust retained the same proportions, but were now offset by a frame of more suitable proportions and height. All in all, Ranma-chan had grown into a fine specimen of woman-hood.

"Simple." She bit with contempt. "You're the one who proclaimed me grand master, sensei."

"I… I never!"

"Well, not _you _exactly," She amended with a tight smile. "Another, far more honorable Happosai than yourself. And I've only gotten better since then."

"Another… Me?" He sputtered in disbelief as Ranma held him out at arm's length.

"From this point on, neither my father nor the Tendos owe you anything." Ranma explained in that cold tone. "Try to collect or step foot in Nerima, and your ass is mine, understand?" Huge eyes nodded. "Good."

From there, Ranma hauled a foot back and gave Happosai the punt of all punts, a small super sonic shockwave accompanying his journey to low earth orbit. The martial artist watched the tiny point of light fad into the blue sky and nodded with a smile as it disappeared entirely.

"Damn, I _do_ enjoy doing that."

* * *

"Are you sure they're going to be there?" The blonde odango poked her future daughter on the shoulder, eliciting another nod. 

"Of course I am." She reassured Usagi, who was trailing behind her. "'Kira-kun practically lives at the dojo." Chibi Usa added without regard to temporal context, confusing the blonde further.

The pair rounded another corner and walked along a wall to a pair of gates labeled "Tendo School of Indiscriminate Grappling". Usagi Tsukino reached for the bell that hung by wooden sign, only to watch Small Lady push one of the gates open and walk in as if she owned the place.

"Chibi, don't you think we should…?"

"Nah." The pink haired girl shook her head. "Besides, they already know we're here." The questioning look was missed by the girl as they walked across the yard, finding a pig-tailed boy with purple eyes waiting at the house doorway. Usagi made the connection immediately. Akira Saotome… Chibi's _boyfriend_.

The boy's face broke into a smile on catching sight of the pair. "Hey Uus-chan!" Usagi watched as Chibi calmly walked over with her own smile and planted a kiss on Akira's face, prompting a blush from him. The youngest Saotome recovered quickly, opening the door for the pink haired girl. "You caught 'em just before the trip."

"The trip?" Usagi asked as the stepped inside. Akira nodded.

"To China."

Any response the boy might have had was instantly preempted as Chibi leapt past him toward the two familiar faces Usagi knew all too well, though one and a half would have been a more accurate number.

"Puu!" The girl exclaimed and plowed into the sharply dressed Senshi of Time, who accepted the bear hug easily. "It's good to see you alive again!"

Setsuna smiled hugging the girl. "Good to see you to, Small Lady. That was an excellent performance, I might add."

Chibi glowed with the compliment. "It was all I could do not to spill everything, truthfully."

"Teasing me was a bit over the top though." The redhead next to her, commented, and the girl turn on her, glomping onto the other woman in turn.

"Uncle Ranma-chan!" She gushed, squeezing the redheaded martial artist.

"Yeah, yeah." Ranma rolled her eyes. "You're not getting off that easy."

Usagi simply starred. She couldn't help it. "Just how much did you know!"

Chibi withdrew from Ranma's embrace and put a finger to her mouth, making a big show of her contemplation. "Um, everything!"

The blonde went face first into the floor, but recovered quickly. "And you didn't tell anybody!"

The pink haired developed a frown. "It would have ruined things. I almost had to tell Uncle-chan."

"Serves you right." Ranma sniffed, then smiled at the two decade old recollection of poking Chibi Usa toward the edge of an eight story building ledge. Ah, those were the days.

"And you've changed…" Usagi said, slowly making her way around what was best known as Yumei Ikari's form. Instead of the teen she knew, a woman every bit as exotic and beautiful as Setsuna stood before her. "Chibi explained most of it, but…"

"But it's tough to comprehend how much of a total and complete hottie I've become in six short months, I know." Ranma stated with a sympathy that sounded anything but genuine. Setsuna slapped her now female husband upside the head, while Usagi nearly puked over the unabashed display of vanity. ""Ow. Yeah, I look so good now, it hurts. Literally..." she added, rubbing the back of her head. "Time dilatation will do that to you."

"Time diahuh?" Usagi parroted dumbly and Ranma smiled.

"A phenomenon under which the time rate of a remote or moving clock is different from that of local clocks, usually due to near light speed travel or temporal folding." Ranma explained conversationally, missing Usagi's look or that of Nabiki, who had paused in the stairway. She was looking down at her as if she had grown a second head.

"What, a new body and brains to match, Saotome?" She quipped as she stepped down to their level.

Ranma didn't even acknowledge the barb and shrugged. "Already told you. Set-chan's memories integrate better with my girl-type."

"And you don't feel like changing back?"

Ranma shook her head. "Not particularly. I've had twenty years to get used to things. It's clothing more than anything else these days." She paused, cocking her head. "That, and we have business to attend to."

Nabiki's ears perked up. "Business?"

"Amazon business." Setsuna clarified, and Nabiki let out a silent "oooh." That was a business venture she didn't want any particular part of. China was as close as she wanted those people right about now.

Usagi looked at the pair of women. "So when are you going?"

Ranma looked at Setsuna, who shrugged. "No time like the present."

* * *

"I challenge that dainty one!" A blue haired woman called from the crowd, prompting Setsuna and Ranma to look at one another. 

"Are you 'dainty'?" Ranma blinked at his wife, who only managed to arch an eyebrow.

"I thought she was talking to you, hun." Setsuna replied, and both turned back to the speaker, an over masculine woman with a short crop of blue hair dressed in fine Chinese silks. Notable beyond her exceptional masculinity was the fine scar running down one eye. She scowled at the evident confusion.

"The green haired one!" She clarified and Ranma shrugged. "Come forth and face a true warrior!" Ranma rolled her eyes and stepped aside. Setsuna stifled a chuckle and responded in fluent Chinese.

"No." The mob of Amazons surrounding her rippled with anger and she let them stew a second longer before continuing. "Do you seriously think I would accept a challenge under such unfavorable conditions?"

"And what do you consider 'favorable conditions'?" The Amazon hissed back.

"Oh, I dunno…" Ranma rolled her eyes while caressing her long pigtail. "Maybe an outcome that doesn't end in my wife being hunted to the ends of the earth?"

The word 'wife' echoed through the curious crowd of warriors and neither woman made any effort explain themselves. Instead, Setsuna issued her own challenge. "I invoke the Rite of Equals."

Silence pervaded the Amazon mob of women and a grey haired elder, no more then three foot tall, stepped forward. The blue robed elder stabbed her smooth wooden cane into the earth and studied the foreigners carefully. "You knowledge of Amazon law is impressive." The woman crackled, then smiled grimly. "I would assume then you know what will happen _when_ you lose?"

"Slavery and death are overrated." The Princess of Pluto returned, but the old woman's smile persisted.

"And the young ones behind you?" She looked over the Senshi's shoulder to Ono, Ranko and Akira.

"Death." Ono shrugged.

"Same here." Ranko nodded with a smile.

"Mom's gonna kick your butt." Akira stated matter-of-factly.

The elder couldn't help but to admire the courage of the children… She eyed the two women. Their children? If they could be taken alive, they would make excellent stock for the tribe. But there was something she was missing here. Two women and three children just don't stumble upon the doorstep of the Joketsuzoku looking for a fight. That, and they knew entirely too much about Amazonian law for comfort. Still, she was a female and the Rite of Equals was her right…

"So be it. The Rite of--"

"I have conditions." Setsuna interrupted. "If I should win, the rite would apply to my entire family. No challenges, no schemes to integrate us into the tribe."

"Unless your warriors are writing checks their asses can't cash." The grinning redhead behind her added offhandedly, incensing the mob further.

The old woman growled, marring the ground with the end of her cane. She wasn't sure of the complete meaning of the bothersome redhead's words, but it was almost certain to be an insult. "I assure you that my sisters in arms are quite capable of their victory over your _dainty_ mate."

"I believe the phrase is 'talk's cheap'." Setsuna replied, earning a razor edged look from the old woman.

"Qiu Tiep! Step forward!" The blue haired Amazon came through the crowd, stopping next to the diminutive elder, who then turned to the crowd. "This is the Rite of Equals, to the death as decided by the victor. Should the newcomer prevail, tribal immunity shall be granted to the entire family. If they lose, their lives are forfeit." She paused and the crowd formed a circle around the combatants. "Combat is hand to hand. Beyond this restriction, anything goes."

"Anything goes?" Ranko smiled.

"They're _so_ screwed." Ono grinned ferally.

_"Begin!"_

The Amazon didn't even bother taking the time to size up her opponent and instead opted for blitzkrieg-style tactics, rushing in at high speed in order to crash through any defense the green haired woman might attempts. Setsuna evade the initial flurry of punches and kicks with easy, keeping pace with the furious Amazon as she switched styles on the fly.

"Over-extended punch."

"Too soft."

"Good combination."

"Sloppy foot work."

"Don't leave your guard down."

"Very nice."

"Missed opening."

Qiu Tiep's ire continued to build through the woman's running commentary. Worse yet, it was accurate. Nothing was penetrating the woman's defense and anything that wasn't dodged outright was quickly and efficiently deflected. Even with the deflections, the Amazon was getting the distinct impression that the long haired woman was barely paying attention to her efforts. Qiu Tiep was willing to settle for merely breaking the woman, but now… now it was time to crush the life out of her. The redhead would make a good servant. She disengaged, switching stances into one favoring shiatsu pressure-point combat. The woman simply stood there in an open stance, and this time, Qiu Tiep wasn't fooled, and gathered her energies for a chestnut fist burst of speed.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

The Amazon shot forward and the points of her fingers arced in on a graceful line. The woman closed to blank range and initiated the blurring technique. " Kachu Tenshin---!

_Snap_.

"AAAiiiEEEHHeeE!"

The blue haired woman disengaged abruptly, rolling right with the momentum and recovering into a crouch, favoring her right hand. A quick examination revealed the obvious-- Every finger was broken, and she hadn't even seen the bitch _move_ to intercept the strike.

The Senshi of Time gazed upon her opponent with sympathy. "Told you so."

The Amazon gritted through the pain and anger fueled her resolve. She didn't want to have to use such a high level technique on the woman so early, but it was obvious this foreigner was holding back. With that thought in mind, she dug deep into her ki stores and initiated the Soul of Ice. This time was for real.

Back the dojo, Akane Tendo sneezed.

Qiu Tiep launched forward, reengaging Setsuna. Unlike before, however, she had no intention of actually tangling with the newcomer. Instead, she concentrated on drawing the green haired woman into a spiral, using her hot ki as the catalyst to her doom. Punch. Kick. Kick. Kick-punch. Punch. Step, step, step. It was perfect, she thought as she fell into the pattern drilled into to her so many years ago. With the power the newcomer was emanating now, she would be dead before she cleared the treetops. Only a few more steps.

_Now._

The blue haired Amazon spun around, ready to step into the spiral's center, only to find a pair of hard red eyes staring back at her. "What the---!"

"Seriously now. That was one of the_ first_ techniques my husband taught me."

The classic right hook ripped in at high speed, snapping the Amazon's head around with ferocity. It was quickly accompanied by a sharp snap as the heel of her foot found the Amazon's kneecap, displacing it painfully. Qiu Tiep sank to the ground and Setsuna grabbed a flailing arm, pulled it past her body and snapped it at the elbow. Her screams of pain were interrupted only by the grunt that accompanied her face hitting the dirt.

"Well that was predictable." Ranma deadpanned, while Setsuna looked over her twitching opponent.

The elder stood stunned for a moment before entering the circle of battle, warily to inspect her tribal sister. The girl wouldn't be getting up any time soon, probably for weeks. If she walked normally again, it'd be a miracle. Qiu Tiep was one of the best warriors in the tribe, and she had gone down far to easily. It could only mean one thing… The Joketsuzoku had just been sandbagged.

"Well?"

The tribal elder looked up at the red eyed woman and snarled. "I consider the Rite null and void! The Joketsuzoku do not take kindly to being tricked."

Setsuna frowned. "And just who tricked you?"

"You and your brood!" She snapped back. "You are fortunate we don't simply eliminate you outright for maiming one of our own."

"It's not our fault you entered into an official challenge against somebody not only better than you, but smarter as well." Ranma shook his head in exaggerated disappointment and looked over her shoulder. "What's the first rule of battle, 'Kira?"

"Know your opponent, Pop!"

Ranma shrugged, turning back to the elder. "See? Even my thirteen year old son knows that. What's your excuse?"

"I will not suffer your impertinence, witch!" She brought the staff up to challenge Ranma and Setsuna, while her maidens fell into flanking positions around her. "You should feel fortunate that we'll only kill you and your harlot, green one. Your children will make excellent additions to the tribe."

"Fat chance." Ono Saotome replied, lighting off a bright blue aura of power.

"Don't think so." Ranko Saotome agreed, and erupted into a golden glow.

"Told ya we'd kick your butts." Akira Saotome cracked his knuckles as a purple aura swirled around him.

Black shadow engulfed Ranma Saotome and his wife flashed pink, processing the transformation into her fuku armor. The family collected into a tight group and it was all the Elder could do to hold her ground against the massive wave of power blasting across her like the winds of the Sahara. She tore her eyes off the collective group to focus on the green hair woman staring down on her with lethal intent.

"Who… _just who the hell are you!_"

Setsuna Saotome dropped into a slight curtsy. "I'm Sailor Pluto, Guardian of Time, at your service." The elder hissed, taking a reflexive step back. The demoness that had plagued their tribe for the last thousand years had returned! Still, she had to know the whole truth. "And you?"

"Ranma Saotome, Grand Master of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts." The Old woman could barely contain her horror as the redhead jabbed a thumb at a distant mountain range. "You know… fought the winged guy over there on the mountain? You may have heard of me."

"No… you…_you're dead!_"

"Let me show you my references." The shadowy redhead reached into weapons space and pulled the individual staves, the Gekkaja and Kinjakan from storage. The armed crowd around them back up another step at the sight of Saffron's keys of ascension. The woman then condensed the moist air around her with cold ki and flash heated it, activating the curse. A now male Ranma twirled the staves around, demonstrating the lethal precision with which he could wield them. "Any more questions?"

The Elder gawked. It was all she could do. Literally. It no longer matter how good her and her sisters were. The kids alone could probably wipe out her front lines given the power they were radiating, let alone the parents. They… They could annihilate the entire village without breaking a sweat, she suspected, and there was only one course available to her besides a suicidal attempt on their lives.

"What… What are your demands?" She gulped nervously, lowering her eyes to the ground as though she was not worthy to look upon them. She wasn't. She knew it. The remaining Amazons followed suit.

"That's better." Setsuna smiled pleasantly. It was the sort of smile alligators gave small animals that wandered too close to the waters edge. "Your show, honey."

Setsuna stepped aside and the shadows slowly dissipated from around Ranma. His blue eyes scrutinized every inch of the elder and she shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. "What is your name?"

"Du Shu, Saotome…sama." Ranma simply nodded as if the honorific was expected.

"You're the Elder of this tribe's council?" He probed, and she nodded an affirmative.

"Not any more." The old woman blinked. "I didn't come all the way out to China to play hide and go seek, Cologne-sensei. Come on out."

Du Shu's eyes widened and she snarled. "That woman is a failure! She has no rights--!"

The death that danced in Ranma's blue eyes stopped her cold. "And why is that?"

It was only then that the old woman realized just what an epic corner she had painted herself and the tribe into. Du Shu's next words were whispered with trepidation. "She failed to return with you…"

"Mm hmm." Ranma nodded as a staff-bound Cologne hopped up to the family, Shampoo in tow. The martial artist frowned. While they had obviously endured their fall from grace with honor, their external appearance spoke volumes. Cologne even looked slightly older and the world had obviously forced Shampoo to grow up just a little faster. A certain spark was gone from both their eyes. He turned back to the deposed elder, displeasure evident on his face. "Looks like her mission was a success after all."

Du Shu knew she was on perilous ground now, but was determined not to go down without a fight. "Oh? I seriously doubt you'll cast aside your mate for an Amazon wife. In that, Cologne has still failed."

The green robed woman balanced evenly on her cane chuckled softly. Du Shu turned to find a mischievous smile inhabiting her predecessor's lips. "Well played, great grandson. Well played."

"_What_ was well played?" The ex-Elder growled looking from Ranma to Cologne and back. She didn't appreciate being the bunt of joke.

"Only that _you've_ taken care of_ that_ quite handily." Ranma pointed out with his own mischievous grin. "I believe when my wife won, she also won tribal immunity for the entire Saotome clan thanks to you. _Me included_."

"What? I…! No! That isn't…!"

"Not only that," He pressed. "I believe it was you who broke your honor bound pledge to hold up that agreement."

"But…!"

"Not to mention being so criminally negligent as to pit your one of your sisters up against an opponent she couldn't possibly prevail against." Setsuna added, and Du Shu's face drained of color. "With leaders like you, your tribe really doesn't need enemies like _us_."

"Make yourself scarce, witch." Ranma glared into the failed leader, who seemed to shrink into her own body.

"As… as you wish, Ranma-sama." With that, the woman shuffled away, leaving the Saotome family, Cologne and Shampoo in the center of the crowd.

"I am… Impressed is a vast understatement, Saotome-san." Cologne admitted, scrutinizing a Ranma several years older than she remembered.

Ranma waved the compliment aside as Shampoo inspected him as well. It was amazing enough that she refrained from glomping him outright. "Grandson is fine by me." He admitted, his attitude softening considerably.

"It is really you, Aire-- Ranma?"

Ranma nodded, and proceed to introduce his family and Cologne arched an eyebrow as they all referred to her as 'grandmother' quite comfortably "Tell ya about it later." was the martial artist's only explanation. Cologne nodded soberly. Ranma was married to the tribe's nemesis, older and had three kids. She would be damn certain he would tell her later.

Interesting times, indeed.

"Shampoo darling!" The white-robbed boy came tumbling out of a nearby shack and past the entire family, stooping next to a barrel. "I thought you had gone off and--"

"MOUSSE-HONEY!"

The raven haired boy didn't even have time to don his glasses before being line tackled by a green haired pigtailed girl. "Ooooh! I missed you so much!"

Mousse struggled to free himself as the unknown girl pinned him to the ground, showering him with kisses. "Who… Who the hell are you? I don't even know you!"

Ranko Saotome paused in her ministrations, looking at the boy curiously. "You don't know, do you?" Mousse shook his head wildly no. "Oh darn. Looks like I'll just have to retrain you all over again."

The struggle resumed and Cologne nearly fell off her stick at the sight. She turned to Ranma, who was simply shaking his head. "I honestly don't know what she sees in that boy."

"Hush, honey." Setsuna poked him. "Don't you know, its love?"

Ranma rolled his eyes and Cologne could only twitch.

* * *

Ranma and Setsuna Saotome watched the last rays of afternoon light stream through the bamboo poles of Jusenkyo, its light refracting off the cursed pool in a natural display of beauty, as the sun sank into mist covered Bayankara Mountains. The Princess of Pluto snuggled in close and Ranma's arm fell around her waist. 

"Brings back the memories, y'know?" The Grand Master mused, picking out one particular bamboo pole from the rest.

"Not all of them bad, I hope."

Ranma looked over to find Setsuna's mischievous smile playing across her lips. "One of these days I'll find that stash of instant boy Nannichuan of yours."

"And then what?" The Princess challenged playfully and Ranma made a show of concentrating on the dilemma.

"Nevermind that."

"Thought so." She snorted and returned to the view.

"No, not all of them bad." Ranma returned to the original question. "Not bad at all." He lingered over the memories a bit longer then turned back to his wife. "Ono is gonna have his hands full, though."

Setsuna frowned. "I thought he was immune the kiss protocols."

"He is," Ranma replied. "That's not stopping all the girls from fighting _each other_ for a chance to date him, however."

"Oh God." His wife simply shook her head at the mental image. "Any front runners?"

"Shampoo, of course." Ranma smiled wickedly while Setsuna rolled her eyes at the news, but couldn't help but to chuckle. They both lapsed into a moment of amused contemplation as the sun sat, before Ranma broke it once more.

"So what are you going to tell Usagi? She's gonna ask sooner or later."

"About Crystal Tokyo?" Ranma nodded. Setsuna shrugged. "I'll just tell her it's no longer attainable and we'll have to find another solution."

Ranma nodded thoughtfully, then smiled. "So you're going to lie to her."

"Not at all." Setsuna corrected with mirth. "Without my help, it _isn't_ attainable. The best course of action isn't always _right _course of action. You helped me see that." Ranma nodded once more and remained silent.

"So you're gonna lie to her."

Setsuna smiled. "Let's just say what she doesn't know, won't hurt her."

_**End.**_

_**

* * *

**_

**Author's notes;**

I had a good deal of writer's block on this story, namely in bringing all the elements together. When I get writer's block, I move on to other stories, Heir to the Empire being a primary result of that :p For those wondering, this is the "original" ending I've had since day one, with X2 being an alternate timeline.

See series ANs for further details.

* * *

Corrections; Ranma's trip originally lasted 18 years. I cite Ono as being 18 years old. This creates a situation where Ranmaevidentally hopes in the sake rather quickly. Ono's age adjsuted to 17, trip adjusted to twenty years and Ranma's real age to 38.  



	10. Epilogue X2

**The Best of Times**  
_By Ozzallos_  
A Fukufics (dotcom) Production

**Epilogue X2**

**A** flattened three and a half foot long silver oval sat peacefully atop the eight story high power converter recently vacated by those whose sole goal was to destroy it and the source of power floating above—an 8,000 pure heart crystal reactor feeding humanities destruction. The manufacturing facility it supplied hadn't come fully on line yet, but when it did, it would be capable of producing over fifteen thousand youma a day, more than enough to send a tide of destruction marching across the Earth.

The silver device sat unaware of the battle waging around it as its main processor measured time in discreet electrical pulses that flashed across a monofilament nervous system. Since the unit's activation, it had measured two hundred and thirty nine of these pulses, which in themselves were nothing special.

Pulse two hundred and forty, however, was a notable exception.

The pulse hit the main processor and tripped a special flag in the software, causing dormant systems to come online and power up. The Elerium core at the center of the device came to life and power began to funnel into the five anti-matter capacitors surrounding it. In another sixty pulses, those capacitors would dump their full potential into the core, initiating a catalyst that would turn over two thousand miles of space into super heated plasma…

…or annihilate one pocket universe.

Pulse number two hundred and forty was noted and marked by the weapon's processor as it completed its journey through the maze of circuitry, activating another protocol.

"_Warning... Option to countermand has expired." _The bomb spoke with ineffable calm._ "Countdown, time minus one minute until detonation."_

_

* * *

_  
"Point of no return!" Mercury called out, one kilometer down range from the last nuke of the Silver Millennium. "One minute!"

Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts considered his rapidly dwindling options as the remainder of their strike team filed through the temporal gate held open by Sailor Pluto. With well over ten thousand youma pressing their lines, he was going to have to come up something fast, and that something would have to be nothing short of a martial arts weapon of mass destruction. Ranma ran down the list of his own techniques and came up short, his most devastating special technique being a ki borne tornado when she really needed a hurricane. In fact, the only one that came close to having the power they needed to stay the demonic advance was in Saturn, and they really weren't looking to destroy the pocket universe with all of them inside.

Options… options… Beyond Sailor Pluto was Mercury, Jupiter and Saturn, the final combatants chosen to hold the line until a safe- hell, _any_ –retreat through Setsuna's gate could be organized… But they had cut their force to the bone, evacuating everybody they could spare without being overrun in the process, and now the girls were fighting just to maintain parity with the opposing army. They were deadlocked and the clock was running down.

The pig-tailed martial artist was the best of her generation, and part of that ability came from her from a brain that could devise tactics on the fly and under any situation. It was an ability that had saved him and her friends more times than they would care to admit, and now that formidable intellect chewed on the current dilemma at terrifying speed, weighing the opposing force, firepower needed to dispose of them, tools at her disposal, time remaining and the necessary physics to pull off what was almost certain to be a suicide move. She spared a moment, staring at the two staves in her hands, one the embodiment of fire, the other ice. They were elements she had all too much familiarity with, and Sailor Nova new exactly what to do with them.

Sailor Nova fused the Gekkaja and Kinjakan back together and stepped to the center of the defensive ring around the wormhole, feeding power into the newly reformed staff. Ki flowed in a circle from her, to it and back,as she twirled it wildly in preperation for the ultimate technique that existed only in her minds eye, up until now.

"_Hiryu..." _

The razor ring snapped away, igniting as it took flight. The Staff of Ascension continued to twirl in her hands, and the guided ring spiraled outward, trailing super-heated air.

"_Shoten..."_

The spiral continued to expand out beyond their lines, and over the youma horde. The staff spun and Ranma focused every ounce of ki into the technique. If it worked, it'd give Pluto and herself the need breathing room to retreat themselves. If not... Well, they'd both buy it in a spectacular fashion.

"_Ha..."_

The twisting stopped and Ranma flipped the staff around, its crescent blade facing downward. With a might heave, she shoved the blade into the ground, turning it to ice for hundreds of meters.

"ASCENSION!"

The shock wave ripped out from the staff and along the super-heated line of atmosphere, uncoiling like the dragon Ranma had unleashed so many times before. But now, those dragons seemed like fence lizards compared to the one she had now loosed. Air pressure and ki ripped outward beyond Nova , Pluto, and into the waiting army of youma where it crushed them mercilessly. The shock wave followed the heated spiral to the end and became self sustaining, forming into a tempest the likes of which few had ever seen. Saturn jumped through the portal, followed quickly by Mercury and Jupiter. Nova held onto the ice embedded staff for dear life as the winds threatened to rip her arms out of their sockets.

Ranma had known from the moment she felt the power build she was more than likely a dead woman. There was no chance for her to bridge the high pressure gap of super sonic wind separating her from salvation. She managed a tear strew look and caught sight of Pluto through the vapor and fog, seemingly standing against the tempest from within her own bubble of serenity.

Her impassive face said it all.

There would be no salvation for the martial artist and she could easily see the Senshi would make no move to help her. Apparently the time-bitch would keep her word, and the only question now was which would kill her first—The raging ki driven storm around her or the nuclear fireball waiting to be unleashed one kilometer away. The gale redoubled its efforts to tear her apart, and she tightened her slipping grip on the staff.

No, if she was going down, it was gonna take the blast from an ancient one gigaton super-weapon to do it.

* * *

Atop the plateau of the PHC converter, the ancient super weapon in question sat peacefully, reflecting the pink light of a construct that represented the slaughter of eight thousand people. This fact was lost on the Elerium weapon of mass destruction, whose central processor was preoccupied with counting the timing pulses that measured its remaining function in seconds. Another specially flagged pulse flashed across its monofilament circuitry, and the CPU made final preparations to end its life. 

"_Time minus ten seconds until detonation." _The silver orb advised._ "Elerium core primed. Terminal Protocols engaged. Final safeties released. Executing Defense of the Realm in five… four… three…"_

_

* * *

_  
The Senshi-Nermian team that had driven the tip of the spear home across two worlds watched the Pluto's dimentional gate from Earth, just outside the Cherry Hill shrine. Mercury had the planetary computer link open, receiving live telemetry from the other end of the wormhole. The readings weren't good. In fact, they sucked. She watched the timer tick down past the ten second mark and noted the power spike across the link's display. The bomb was going terminal and neither Ranma or Pluto had yet to step across the gate boundry.

Five seconds.

Ami tore her eyes from the Mercury link and stared desperately into the shimmering blue mass that represented a pathway to another world. They had to make it back. Had to. They were the good guys. The good guys always win. Even when they lose, they win. Setsuna herself was damn near immortal while Yumei was a cast iron, bullet proof bitch, even if she was a guy half the time. They just had to---

**PHoooMMP!**

The porthole flashed and energy crackled away from it wildly, as unrestrained lighning bolts skittered across the earth. The gateway maintained its shape for a moment, then shuddered, twisting in upon itself. Another pulse of light and the Pluto's gateway glowed neon red before loosing cohesion entirely and wavered out of existence. The only evidence that it had ever existed was the black scoring across the ground and their memories.

A continues keening tone marked the event, causing the others to look to Mercury for answers. The Senshi raised the protesting PDA-like device and stared at the screen in mounting horror. Across it read the words "transmission lost". Even as the Sailors turned to her for answers, a soft gasp tore Moon's attention from the shock-stricken Mercury and found Rei's eyes riveted on Chibi.

"No…" Small Lady clutched her head, rocking slowly back and forth. "It wasn't supposed to happen this way!"

Usagi blinked. Chibi was fading in and out of reality, as if she were a mirage. "Chibi, what's happening to you!" She rushed forward to anchor the pink haired girl, only to find her hand pass clean through her shoulder. "Mercury, what the hell!"

"Temporal distortion!" Mercury replied, panic creeping back into her voice as she interpreted the new readings. "I can't even get a time-space lock on her, Moon!"

"Chibi, stay with us!" Usagi pleaded, kneeling next to her ghostly visage. Her subsequent attempts to grab at her ended the same way the first had.

"It's all gone…!" The pink haired princess gasped, as if the act of drawing a breath was becoming supremely hard. "I can't remember…!"

Haruka spun around on Ami "Mercury, what the hell is happening here!"

Sailor Mercury's fingers stabbed into the link, their speed fuelled by desperation. "I told you, it's like she not even there! Her phase readings are jumping all over the place!"

Moon turned back, facing Mercury with steeled blue eyes. The Princess had arrived in full force. "I don't care what it take, but you get her back—" The air shuddered softly, causing Usagi to turn back to Chibi who now stood before her absolutely solid in form. She couldn't hold the surprised gasp. "Mercury--!"

"I didn't do it." The Senshi cut her off abruptly. "I don't know how the hell it happened, but she just popped back into phase suddenly."

Cologne hopped into the circle of Senshi, trying to discern what had happened to the young girl with her three hundred years of human physiology expertise as a baseline. "Young Lady, are you alright...?"

Her eyes were wide, stareing into the distance without truly seeing anything. A single tear rolled down her face. "No, I'm not." Her voice whispered in muted shock. "It's never going to be okay again…"

* * *

"Twelve dormant readings, one alpha." Sailor Mercury reported as she interpreted the Mercury link's sensor readings. The target of those readings lay in the tree line, and with that information, Sailor Moon arrayed her forces accordingly. 

"Venus, Jupiter, right flank." She directed in a tone that meant she was all business. The two women nodded and took their positions thirty meters off to her right, setting up for a lethal ambush. Her fire team was in position.

Moon glaced sidelong to Mercury and nodded. The cobalt haired girl returned it and keyed her fuku's imbedded communications array. "Mars, now."

A fireball roared from a building behind the pair and into the tree line, blowing it and several meters of earth apart in a spectacular display of pyrotechnics. Another fireball streaked in, pulverizing the razed mound revealed by the first detonation. A plume of violent flame gouged the earth once again, showering the area with fiery debris.

Moon's second in command smiled with internal satisfaction as the readings within the hive began to shift sporadically. Yeah, that rattled the bastards. "They're coming out." Moon nodded once more and stared into what was left of the burning tree line. Six months ago the Sailor Senshi had eliminated a major threat to the Earth, that being a massive youma incursion from a pocket universe. While they had succeeded in eliminating that threat, there were still loose ends left wandering around, and those loose ends had seen fit to entrench themselves in an attempt to multiply.

Sailor Moon was dealing with one of those loose ends right now.

The first youma climbed out of the smoldering underground hive and the blond smiled. This is what the threat to their world had been reduced to—Small masses of youma hiding beneath the ground, fighting pre-programmed guerilla campaign against them. She sniffed with contempt. Against the old Senshi, they might have done so effectively. Sure, they would have still lost, but the damage would have been extensive. Against the new Senshi, however…

"Venus, Jupiter, hold up." Mercury advised, predicting Moon's own thoughts exactly. "Wait for the main group." Sure enough, more youma boiled struggled out of the carnage that had once been their makeshift base of operations. The battered demons looked around through the smoke and ash, attempting to find their tormenters. Sailor Moon and Mercury were the first people they found, standing out in the open of the park grounds. Of course, there was only one course of action that could be taken.

"**RROOOOoooOWWL!"**

The cry went up in unison and a group of eight youma charged Moon and Mercury. The cobalt blue-haired Senshi sighed, almost bored, while Moon appeared to be examining her nails, oblivious to the threat in front of her.

"Now?"

Usagi arched an eye brow and considered Ami's question for a few precious moments while the mob advanced on them. "Give them a few more seconds." Mercury shrugged, and watched the short platoon rush closer, claws and jaws snapping in hurried time.

"Let's not grandstand too much, your Highness." She advised as their line drew within fifty meters. "Still got the big one to take care of."

Usagi sighed. After a pocket universe full of monsters worse than this, it almost seemed anti-climatic. "Now."

"_Waste 'em."_

The response to Mercury's order was instantaneous. There was no call to attack. No fancy dances or sounding out special techniques. One moment there was peace and silence along the youma's right flank, then there was a Venus Love Me Chain ripping through it, tearing into it like a golden buzz saw. Three of the demons were cut down instantly and the advance faltered as the survivors desperately tried to find the source of the ambush. The chaos created by Venus was so complete that the remaining force failed to see the ball of compressed thunder fall into their ranks, detonating with cataclysmic results. Another two youma at ground zero were crushed into a fine paste as the over-compressed shockwave swallowed them up and proceeded to maim the survivors. Two more were savaged, leaving one combat functional demon alone amidst the destruction. The golden chain of death descended upon it and the platoon of youma ceased to exist.

The orange and green fuku'd women affected an unhurried stroll past the carnage they had wrought seconds before, joining Moon and Mercury.

"Well that was weak." Venus commented, looking at the pair. "Don't tell me Mars managed to take out the others when she opened up?"

Mercury shook her head. "Don't worry. Three more left." Jupiter squinted into the ruined tree line, and the lifeless cratered mound therein. "They're still digging themselves out. In fact, they should be surfacing right about…"

"**BWWRAAaaaaWWLL!"**

"…Now." Mercury smiled, tapping on the link like clockwork.

"Uh, guys…" Jupiter took a step back as the three youma dug themselves from the wreckage of their former hive. It wasn't the two ugly pink youma with tails and horns that caused her to take a double take. She instinctively knew they would go down like wet tissue paper. It was the three story tall mass of fangs and scales that had her attention.

"Huh." Ami stated blandly, coaxing more data out of the PDA. "Didn't see that one coming."

"'It's freaking huge' is what you mean!" Venus protested. Even as it marched forward, one of its surviving brethren strayed to close to it and was squashed beneath a giant pink hoof.

Moon winced. "Ouch."

The monster youma before them took a step forward and they took a step back. Mercury clicked the clamshelled link closed and prepped for battle. "It's one of the siege youma. Energy blasts, super strength, the whole nine yards."

"Right." Sailor Moon replied, her memory sufficiently jogged. They had named the monstrously large youma from the other dimension 'seige youma', as their primary purpose seemed to be to anchor any youma incursion with its massive firepower and strength. In fact, she was loathing the fact that they didn't have a Mishma Heavy Industries gunship handy to deal with it. "Semi-circle, on me. Don't bunch up." She paused, opening a channel to Mars. "Rei, light it up so we can get in close."

"With pleasure." The disembodied voice replied, and the top of a building two blocks away flashed to life. From it, the third fireball since the start of the engagement tore in and smacked into the Siege youma like a flaming hammer. The explosion incinerated the last remaining youma regular and stuck to its larger cousin like napalm. Its advance halted with the howl of pain just as another bolt tagged it, causing it to thrash around furiously.

"**NOW!"**

All four Senshi were in motion, attacking the monster from different direction simultaneously. Moon's golden tiara cut through one of four arms while Jupiter's Supreme thunder attempted to punch a hole through it's backbone armor. Venus stepped in and her Love Me Chain raked its hooved leg. A horizontal pillar of water followed the attack courtesy of Mercury, freezing the leg in place within a jagged icy block. Mars' flaming attacks died out and the beast seemed to regain some composure, sending a bright blue energy bolt after Venus. The blast missed, but the shockwave hammered her into the ground as a plume of supernatural fire rose into the mid-day sky. Moon's attention was diverted just long enough to miss the next energy blast with her name on it. The monsters other free arm extended and the bolt seem to reach out and grab her, plunging her consciousness into a world of pain. The blast slammed her into the earth and used her face to create a trench thirty meters long, before coming to a smoldering stop.

Moon pushed herself up, only to find the Siege Youma having broken free of Mercury's ice trap and shambling towards her. The other Sailors were all around it, doing damage, but not fast enough to deter the beast from it's single minded focus on ripping her apart. All four arms seemed to glow, and if she didn't know any better, the youma's face produced a fanged-filled smile.

"Oh shit…"

Huge blue balls of power coalesced in each hand and the youma wound-up, readying the energy torrent to launch. Usagi knew what was going to happen next, and it was going to _hurt. _The arms came back and—

"_Dead Scream."_

A pink ball of energy tore through the siege youma, taking with it a large chunk of flesh, bone and other vital organs. The blue energy in its hands disappeared abruptly and the demon fell to its spiked knees in agony.

"Dead scream?" Sailor Moon mouthed. There was only one Senshi she knew of that would use that attack, and if she was alive, then it meant… Her eyes found her savior balanced lightly atop a telephone pole, and her thought process halted abruptly. She recognized the black and white fuku immediately. Everything after that, however, crushed reality as she knew it.

The woman was a far cry from Pluto's five foot seven height, barely topping five two herself. Instead of the flowing green hair, an impossibly bright red mane floated with the daytime breeze. No. No way. No way in _hell_ could that be… The new Senshi appeared not to notice her or the other Sailors gaping as she flipped gracefully off the pole and landed within a few meters of the siege youma, who was trying to recover from having a quarter of its mass forcibly removed. The woman stepped in and waited for the massive creature to notice her. After a few seconds, a beady, sunken eyeball finally found her and raised a huge claw in response, ready to shred the source of its anguish. The massive fist of flesh came down and was intercepted by the point of her staff; a half moon blade that promptly turned the youma's entire arm to ice on contact. Its beady little eyes mirrored Moon's own expression, widening as she flipped the weapon around almost lazily and removed the appendage; the opposite ringed blade tip cutting through the ice. A violent geyser of steam accompanied the act, and the arm fell to the earth where it promptly shattered into a few thousand pieces.

A state of shock existed within the monster's limited thought process, allowing the redhead a moment to admire her handiwork before looking back up into the youma's eyes, waiting for its next move. The Senshi didn't have long to wait. The demon had three remaining arms and it put them all to work in a simultaneous strike that was sure to hit her. At least that's what it thought. The Sailors too.

It didn't.

Her form blurred into a streak of red and the staff whirled around, carving the arms off at their elbows. Two went down as blocks of ice while the third in scorching flame. The blur subsided and the only evidence that the Senshi had even moved was her settling red hair.

"Is that it?" She asked rhetorically and now it was the youma who took a step back. "Nah, don't think so." She raised a hand it glowed with power. "Moko Takabisha revised… _Chrono_ Takabisha."

A shivering blue ball floated from the outstretched hand and into the armless youma. For a moment, nothing happened, then the youma itself shuddered and screamed, hitting the ground and proceeded to twitch violently.

"What the hell did she hit him—" Mercury was asking as she pulled Moon up from her trench, when the entire three story tall youma began to fold in upon itself. Its chest cavity crumbled as bone splintered, and with one final waver of light, the demon was gone. The remaining Senshi gathered around the redhead and stared in total disbelief while she gazed into the space the monster had just been forcibly evicted.

"R-Ranma?" Sailor Moon asked with trepidation, reaching out to touch the woman to ensure she actually did exist. Her probing fingers found the shoulder solid and a smile broke out across her face. It was a smile of joy and relief; however it failed to move Ranma, who continued to stare into space.

"If Ranma's alive…" Rei began softly, coming to the only logical conclusion available to her, minus any of the facts. It was the same one that Usagi and the others came to. Ranma made it. So had Setsuna. Somehow, against all odds…

"Setsuna is alive too…?" Ami forwarded the largely rhetorical question. The answer was obvious. The good guys always—

"No."

Time skipped a beat as the word was processed by the Senshi surrounding Ranma. "But…"

Ranma turned to Usagi for the first time since their meeting, confronting her directly. There was no emotion in her voice as she spoke her next words. "Setsuna Meiou is dead."

"Pluto is... Dead?" Makato repeated, as if unable to believe the statement.

"No." Ranma corrected in the same, emotionless voice. "_Setsuna_ is dead."

"But…" Now everybody was confused and Usagi was getting a very bad feeling about where all this was going.

"Setsuna didn't make it," She continued. "But I'm Ranma Saotome, Guardian of Time and the last Princess of Pluto."

* * *

Usagi stared at the girl sitting across from her, and the words coming out of her mouth just didn't make any sense. If being dead wasn't enough, there was no way she could have carried the mantle of Pluto. While her Sailor Nova persona would always be fondly remembered, she was neither a real sailor or reincarnated. Her fuku had been a costume, not real armor. The only thing real about Nova was her martial arts ability and the staff she bore, which _was_ a relic from the Silver Millennium. Now here she was in the shrine, not only alive, but claiming Setsuna was dead and she had taken her place. 

"Not buying it." Haruka stated from across the room, staring icy daggers into the red head. "In fact, we oughta beat you within an inch of your miserable life for impersonating our friend."

Ranma's eyes slowly found Uranus and stared back, matching the icy glare but saying nothing. Moon shivered. This wasn't the Sailor Nova she had met. No snappy comebacks. No issuance of challenge. Just silent, ominous _threat_.

"That dead scream she let loose was the real deal." Ami inserted. "Pulled the sensor log. Aside from the minor variations in quantum flux the energy signatures match with a Senshi of Pluto."

"A trick." Michiru pointed out, though in a far less certain tone than partner.

"You'd like a demonstration." Ranma stated in calm voice, finally turning her attention to the pair of outers. "Sailor Nova was a fake. I can assure that this—" She triggered the transformation and the pink glow around her called the black and white fuku armor forth. "—is the real thing."

She pulled the Staff of Ascension out of weapons space and Usagi couldn't help but to stare… That wasn't the same weapon she remembered Ranma wielding. The differences started at the crescent blade, its reverse edge notched at precise angles. The shaft of the stave was also notched with precise, angular teeth that prevented a smooth level down the first half of its length. The end ring seemed unchanged, save the glowing, blood red crystal floating at its center.

"And I had almost thought I'd never get a---" Uranus' words were cut off abruptly as a subtle gust erupted around her, accompanied by the ice cold feeling of steel at her neck. The Senshi of Uranus dared not move, staring into the empty space Ranma had just occupied. It didn't take a genius to realize who was holding the blade to her neck now.

"Rematch, 'Ruka-chan?" The low whisper tickled her ear. "I'd drop you in a heartbeat if it weren't for all the fond memories I have of you."

At any other time, the situation might have been an extreme turn on. A beautiful woman pressed to her back, whispering in her ear…That might have even been the intention, but the cold edge that threatened to vent a major artery kept Haruka firmly rooted to reality.

The remaining Senshi stared. Ranma hadn't moved. They were positive of that fact. Every single one of them knew that the martial artist was pre-naturally quick, but this registered on an entirely different level. One moment she had been there, the next, gone.

"Time stop." Ami said, consulting her Mercury link. "No movement recorded, but there are definite signs of temporal displacement."

The blade lowered from Haruka's throat and she bolted away, spinning around. "You can't do that! That's a suicide move!" Ranma frowned. It was probably the most emotion she had displayed since her arrival.

"For Setsuna, it was."

* * *

_Princess Pluto squinted across the twenty foot distance that separated her from Ranma Saotome. Leaping the gap from the ice imbedded staff to the porthole would be all but impossible, even for a martial artist of Ranma's caliber, and the only reason she herself hadn't been swept away by the mach two gale was the time space bubble she resided in. "Sailor Nova" had no such respite, and the very tempest she unleashed was battering her mercilessly. Pluto couldn't help but to note the sickening irony. After all the work she had put into removing the boy as a threat, he went and removed himself._

…_And saved all their asses in the process._

_That particular fact didn't sit well with the Senshi. She had done a good many things in her life and lay through many sleepless nights because of them, but she had developed a high tolerance to guilt. Her job was to safeguard the Senshi and insure the survival of humanity in the process. All in all, it was one hell of a rationalization that allowed her to do any number of very nasty things in the name of love and justice. Part of her wanted to say this was just another step down that bloody path. Ranma would go down by fire or ice and Setsuna would go home, get blasted on sake and do it all over again the next day. The other part of her… There was a quiet rebellion taking place in Setsuna's mind. What right did she have to take the life of somebody who so willingly marched into the fire, knowing that there was a good chance that they wouldn't be coming back? A person who had the same mentality as she did—Doing whatever it took to safe guard the future of the world she loved?_

_But instead of taking other peoples lives to do it, Ranma Saotome, soon to be dead heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial had given his own.._

_Could she really do it again? Could she murder another fellow patriot so willingly? And what did that say about her? Would she do the same to Ami? Maybe Rei? If it came down to it, would she remove one of her own team from existence to secure the near impossible dream? The answer sickened her and in that moment, Setsuna Meiou knew what she had to do. Oblivion reached out to snatch the martial artist with a flash of light and Setsuna unsheathed the time key one last time._

"Jikan yo Tomore."

_The hypervelocity storm raging around her ground to a halt, and even the blast wave rushing for them froze in its ferocious expansion. Sailor Pluto stepped from the safety provided by the gate's rift and into a universe rapidly draining of color. She moved through the curtains of mist and vapor over to Ranma, whose life and death struggle against the forces she wrought were reduced to a single frame floating in time. Setsuna looked the fuku'd warrior up and down, noting every painful line etched in her face, the strain in her muscles against a phantom wind. _

_The Guardian of time nodded with approval. If she was to give her life for another, then better it be to somebody who would fight until they had breathed their last, and then some. Setsuna extended her staff once more, noting the darkening reality around her. You can't fight time forever, she thought ruefully and touched the cursed martial artist with the heart tip. Sailor Nova began to glow softly, gaining intensity with unnatural shimmer. Her body was enveloped and the light peaked and vanished, leaving nothing behind but the form of a martial artist that once was. The world around Setsuna continued to darken and burn away like an over-exposed negative._

"_Forgive me, Ranma-kun, it was the best I could do." She sighed, lowering the time key to her side. Time continued to crumble in upon itself, dissolving into a mass of formless shadows until only a small space around her person remained lit. _

_And it was there Setsuna Meiou, Guardian of Time and the Last Princess of Pluto finally found her peace._

_

* * *

_  
"To the time gates?" Usagi queried as Ranma powered down from Senshi mode and back into the her civilian dress, which consisted of loose red slacks, a black silk blouse and jacket, complementing the long unbound mane of bright red hair.

Ranma nodded, taking another sip of tea with the pause in their discussion. "It was the only place she could send me, having frozen our original escape route in time."

"But shouldn't you have just…" Ami asked tentatively, stepping lightly across the subject of death, especially when it involved opening so many old wounds for everyone involved.

"Died?" Ranma let a slight smile cross her face. Moon noticed more emotion trickle back into her friend the longer she was around them. "Setsuna was bound by that protocol, not I."

"You _changed_ Queen Serenity's protocols?" Michiru mouthed, eyes widening. Behind her, Haruka remained silent, but glaring, still nursing her bruised ego.

"Not exactly." She smiled warmly, and for a moment, the Senshi of Neptune could have sworn it had come from Setsuna. "The Queen's protocols were specifically written for Setsuna Meiou. There's no way she could have foreseen somebody taking her post in the manner I did."

"And how was that?" Haruka questioned, with a trace of hostilitiy. Still it was magnitudes less than what had erupted earlier.

"The wish."

The girls looked at Ranma with blank expressions, and the redhead suppressed a sigh, knowing she was going to have to recount the entire sordid tale. "About nine months ago, I came into possession of a sword that granted wishes."

"Sword?"

"Wishes?"

"No way."

Ranma smirked and Usagi watched the tide of personality change from something that resembled the mysterious Setsuna to the roguish Ranma. "Any more impossible than a gender shifting martial artist?" That shut them all up. "Anyway, I made a wish… To know why I could never get a moment's peace. As it turned out, Setsuna was behind that particular aspect of my life and I found out far more than I ever wanted to know about her."

"How much..?" It was a new voice and Ranma turned to find the pink hair of Chibi Usa. Suddenly, the red head was at a loss for words as a full head of emotion rushed to the forefront. Everybody in the room could see it, and was wondering just how the child had affected her so. Whatever she was feeling it obviously wasn't pleasant.

"_Everything."_

Moon glanced from Ranma to Chibi, wondering what the connection was. With the presumed deaths of Ranma and Setsuna six months ago, the child had lapsed into a depressive state that was totally at odds with her usual, bubbly personality. Any assurances that everything would be okay died the moment she began to fade from existence, and it was only through later analysis- much of it Ami's –did they realize the probable cause. It had happened once before, and it meant that some key component had been removed from the girl's future. That component, Ami had figured, was Setsuna. Without the Senshi to bring her back in time_ to_ them, Chibi became the focus of a paradox- a concept Usagi herself barely understood –and began to fade from existence. In fact, she was still at a loss to explain why Chibi was even still alive.

What had become obvious was the source of the girl's anxiety and mounting depression… Whatever had happened, her entire future was built on quicksand. Without a Sailor Pluto, she couldn't go back to the parent she knew. In fact, the world as she knew it no longer existed without the lynchpin named Setsuna Meiou. Her parents. Family. Friends. Even her childhood had been erased in favor of a new future.

"Puu?" It was a meek whisper, one mixed with hope, longing and sadness in equal measure. It surprised everybody in the room to see Ranma kneel down to her level and open her arms.

"Come, child."

Small Lady needed no further prompting, and slammed into Ranma like a freight train of tear, no longer holding back the emotion she had held at bay for the past six months. "They're gone, Puu, they're gone! Every last one of them!"

Ranma pulled the child tighter into her, stroking her hair as she cried into her shoulder. "I know, Chibi… I know…"

The sobbing continued unabated. "Mom, Dad… 'Kira-kun… Auntie Setsuna … You… All gone!"

The Senshi watched the scene with morbid fascination as Chibi Usa cried in Ranma's arms as if she were a long time friend. Even more surprising was Ranma's unabashed acceptance of the child, as she tenderly stroked the tearful pink haired girl.

"I won't leave you, Chibi…" Ranma whispered into her ear, and the sniffling girl seemed to regain some composure. "Not _ever_."

She waited a moment longer as Chibi Usa took the promise to heart, wiping the tears from her eyes. Ranma stood up, looking fondly down at the girl one last time before turning back to the others, who stared with questions radiating from their being, but were to polite to ask. She decided to dispense with formalities.

"You all know what happened to Chibi six months ago." She began, and the group around her nodded. While the exact nature of temporal mechanics remained a mystery to most of those present, the effects weren't. "When Setsuna stopped time to save me, she unwittingly created a paradox in which Chibi here couldn't have come back in time, since there was now literally nobody to do it. She died and set into motion a temporal cascade that nearly removed Chibi from time. Had I not acted, none of you would even remember she existed."

"You acted?" Ami's ears perked up. She had been one of the few in the room who understood the full implications of Chibi's paradox and was now being offered an explanation as to why the girl didn't disappear outright.

Ranma nodded. "I manipulated the Time Gates and anchored Chibi to this timeline. It let her continue to exist, but the price was… high. She's now an independent element within the flow of time. As such, everything she knew- her past and our future –is gone." A sniffle from Chibi punctuated the statement, and she clinged tighter to Ranma, who in turn let her hand flow through the child's pink hair.

Rei spoke up, raising a hand tentatively as if she were in class and talking to the teacher, which was odd, since Ranma was carrying herself like one. One of the better ones, she noted absently. Calm and patient. "But can't you just… Return her back to the future? Like Setsuna was going to?"

"No." Ranma shook her head slowly. "With Setsuna's death, the future has been rewritten. If I were to return Chibi to the future, she would find another in her place. While some of it might be similar, a lot has changed with my predecessor's death."

"So you're saying there'll be _two_ Chibi's eventually?" Michiru fidgeted with a strand of her luscious green hair. Her mind trying to wrap itself around the new possibility.

Ranma cast a sidelong glance over to Usagi. "Assuming certain outcomes come to pass, yes." The blond instantly began to glow bright pink, her eyes shifting around nervously.

"So you're Setsuna now." Haruka pressed, her voice laden with disbelief. Miraculously, all traces of its former venom had vanished.

"No." Ranma frowned. It was obviously not the most pleasant subject for her to discuss. "As I said, the wish granted me knowledge as to why I could never have a moment's peace. The sword fulfilled that wish literally, giving me awareness as to Setsuna and her plans regarding me. I thought that was the extent of the wish. Simple awareness. I knew who Setsuna was, her Senshi identity and a fair amount of minutiae."

"I had no idea just how wrong I was."

* * *

_The void. _

_Ranma paced the void once again, casting a baleful glare at its only other occupant, two huge, intricately carved double doors. What day was it again? They had lost their names early on in her stay and had since been regulated to numbers. Today's day was number fifty eight. Maybe. There was no day or night in the void, making it all but impossible to accurately measure time. _

"_What time is it?" The doors considered the question and responded in silence. Ranma fumed, mumbling something about the doors and their questionable linage. Halfway through her litany of curses, Ranma stopped short, realizing that she was holding a conversation with a door. Not good. Almost as bad as that time when I sacked Egypt, she thought with amusement. The plague of locus had been especially—_

"_AHHHHAAARRR!" the scream echoed across the endless night, and the redhead fell to her knees. "Get out of my head!" Ranma sent a fist into the insubstantial surface she was kneeling on, only to have it softly intercepted by a counter force. The nullification of her attempt at physical violence only fueled her anger, and she whipped around, glaring at the double doors. "Oh, you just think this is SO funny, don't you!" the doors remained silent. "Fucking doors! Moko Takabisha!"_

_The ki shot covered the small distance at near light speeds, flashing into the doors and ablating across their surface with a loud crack of energy. Ranma glared at the structure. As usual, they had come through the abuse absolutely unscathed. It pissed her off to no end. She pulled the Staff of Ascension from weapons space and rushed them, wedging the crescent bladed edge into the center seam. She shifted her leverage hard right and attempted pry the double doors open with everything she had, an attempted that last only ten minutes as neither the staff nor doors yielded to her pressure._

"_Alright, fine." The martial artist growled. He stepped away from the doors, gaining distance. "If that's the way you wanna play it, have it your way! DEAD SCREAM!"_

_Silence greeted the technique and Ranma stood by in incomprehension. That should have worked. She stared at her hands wondering why a pink ball of death hadn't erupted from them to smash the doors to smoldering ash. She was about to reposition herself for another attempt when horrible realization desended upon her._

_The was _her_ technique._

_Ranma stared at her hands. "What the hell is happening to me!" She gasped, alone in the night. "I ain't her!" She took deep breaths and tried to calm herself, settling into a crouch. If this was Setsuna's idea of a practical joke, it really wasn't funny anymore. Not by a long shot. How long is she going to keep her locked up? Years? Is this her solution to removing me as a threat to Crystal Tokyo? Somehow, the answer came up as a negative for Ranma. She was getting to know the green haired woman all to well and it didn't strike her as something Pluto would do. After all, these were the Time Gates. You wouldn't leave a potential advesary— Ranma's thoughts paused again, staring at the double doors and the staff imbedded in their seam. _

_So that's what they are._

_Ranma hopped up from her crouch with renewed purpose, and strode over to the doors. Her hand closed around the staff and pulled it from the seam, returning it back to weapons space. Time Gates. Ranma knew she shouldn't have known that. Couldn't have known that. But she did, and it unnerved her. She ran a finger down the unmarred seam and across the intricate carvings. The touch was accompanied by another flash of insight… the first time she had laid eyes on them. The Queen was at her side, showing her… The martial artist squeezed her eyes shut, and shook her head free of the vision. She broke contact with the gates and stepped away from them as if they were a threat. She knew they weren't of course, but the visions… no, not visions, she decided. Memories._

_Setsuna's memories._

_It had taken over a month to come to that conclusion, but it was the only one Ranma could come with. She had been seeing things through the woman's eyes. Feeling them. And it was getting worse. With the familiar surroundings, the memories had started to flow into her brain at a faster pace. Coupled with the near total sensory deprivation of the time gate void, and the brain was very receptive to input. How she was even still alive after over a month without water was beyond the pigtailed girl, but that was the least of her concerns at the moment. Keeping her sanity was, and was becoming increasingly harder to separate her memories from Pluto's._

"_Ok, think…" Ranma prodded herself aloud. "Why the hell is this happening…?" She had had plenty of time to think on the matter and there was only one thing she could attribute the memories to… "That damn wish…" She growled. The sword had evidentially taken her quite literally, not simply identifying and knowing the source of her angst, but knowing everything about her, right down to the woman's life experiences… all three thousand, five hundred and sixty three years of them. The normal human memory knew decay. Very few people would recall their entire life experience, and even fewer over three thousand years of it. Chunks of it would be reduced to vague impressions, fond recollections and the like. Ranma's wish knew no such limitations, however and it was all getting squeezed into her brain like an over-stuffed package. Not instantly, mind you, but just fast enough not to kill her outright._

_Ranma's mind found another unpleasant topic to dwell on… Like how the hell she was going to get out before she went insane, between the memories and near sensory deprivation. The void had no sound, no real light save the glow of the doors. Nothing to feel, let alone taste. The redhead stared at the Time Gates once again. She knew what they were. Now all she had to do was get them to work before she broke. _

_No, she decided. Ranma Saotome, never loses._

_

* * *

_  
"Three thousand…" Hotaru breathed, sitting on the edge of the sofa as Ranma recounted the tale. Ranma nodded silently from her kneeling position on the floor, Chibi Usa wrapped possessively around her as if the redhead herself were a lifeline.

"I remember everything that she was." Ranma spoke softly. "Hell, I even remember bringing the lil Spore here back in time to you guys." Slight shock registered on Chibi's face as she jerked up to look at Ranma, finding a warm smile. A little smile pierced her cloudy depression and she tightened her grip tightened around the redhead. "Make no mistake however, I am _not_ her. I battled long and hard with those memories. They threatened to swallow me up… I mean, what is eighteen years as you versus three thousand as somebody else? The line blurs."

"I'm sure it does…" Ami whispered. Like Usagi next to her, she had been watching as traces of Setsuna ripple across Ranma's personality. But she was right. There was an undeniable difference. She was neither the Ranma they knew nor the Setsuna of old. This amalgam carried herself with confidence, yet retained the cloak of calm mystery.

"…So you won't have to worry about me sneaking up on you any time soon, Princess." The mischievous smile grew and Usagi readily identified it as Ranma's. "Now 'Ruka and Michi-chan on the other hand…"

"You say that like you know us." Haruka stated flatly while her partner kept her expression neutral.

"That's my point." Ranma offered guilessly. "Everything Setsuna knew about you, I know. Which is why I've tabled any feud we may have had in the past. I… _she_ remembers you both too fondly for me to hold that sort of grudge."

Haruka blinked. It was true… They had all been close friends, but… Uranus further speculation on the matter was cut short by the click of the front door and the entry of a lean woman with long black hair clad in a blue happi and black tights. The leather bandolier and giant combat spatula slung around her back identified her to the Senshi immediately.

"Tell me you saved some snacks for…" Ukyo's voice trailed off as her eyes fell upon Ranma, and her breath seemed sucked away by an invisible force of nature. "…me…" She stood there for several long seconds before her something close to a coherent thought formed in her mind. _"...Ranma!"_

Ranma's eyes widened as she stood up slowly. She had known that her child hood friend had been hanging out with the Senshi, but to have her just suddenly appear… She recovered from her initial shock and Ukyo watched as her face closed up into serene mystery, content, unrevealing in its nature. "Hello, Uccha—OOF!"

A second train of tears ran headlong into her, nearly running over Small Lady in order to get to the red headed Senshi. "You're not dead? How in the hell—no wait! I don't care! I don't give a _damn!_ Just tell me this isn't a dream, Ran-chan!"

Ranma smiled and wrapped her arms around her oldest friend. "If it's a dream, it's pretty sick and perverse. Either way, it's... It's good to see you, Ucchcan."

They held the embrace for several minutes before Ukyo untangled herself from Ranma, looking her over for the first time since his death. Or _her_ death, she revised, taking in her friend and fiancées current fashion. More telling was the hair, which was now an unbound mane of long red hair. She knew the person across from her like the back of her hand, and several key pieces of logic instantly snapped into place. First the hair. Ranma just didn't let it get that long unless it was part of some ruse. Second, the fashion. While it wasn't frilly, it was definitely feminine in nature and the styling left more than enough room for combat mobility, she appraised. Finally, came the way she held herself. Beyond the hair, it was the most striking change of all. The other two elements could have been attributed to Ranma and the games that tended to surround him, but the way she held herself now was totally un-Ranma. She was confident, yet reserved. Even mysterious. It wasn't the cocky stance she had grown so used to seeing, no matter what form he wore.

The red headed Guardian of Time noticed Ukyo's appraisal and nodded. "Yes, there's been a few changes."

"The curse?" It wasn't a question any of the Senshi had bothered to ask given their lack of familiarity with Ranma's daily life, but Ukyo was seeking a reason for the change and it was the first most logical question to ask.

"Unlocked." Ranma kept her expression carefully neutral, knowing what was coming next.

"Whew." Ukyo relaxed. "I thought the change was permanent for a moment there."

"It is." The Okanomiyaki master blinked. "It's been a hard road getting back here, Uuchan…"

Her mind processed the implications and everything that came with it. Ranma's guarded expression helped solidify the conclusion she came to. He was a she and she was staying that way for a reason. It also meant the engagement—all of them –were more than likely dead. Ukyo took a deep breath and sighed, then settled on a smile that was totally at odds with what Ranma had been expecting.

"That's not important now." She decided. "What is, is that you're alive to tell me all about it."

* * *

"_Pan left, eight degrees." Ranma directed, and the image in front of her rotated left at a lethargic pace. It was a rainy day she was watching, and everyone was in black with matching umbrellas. Kinda fitting, she mused. "Wide angle. Give me fifteen meters AGL. Z-minus five." The scene pulled out, allowing the view of the entire scene. She chuckled as Ryoga Hibiki came into view. Ryoga in a suit and tie. It doesn't get much better than that. Shampoo was all decked out, while her grandmother was flanked by an Amazon ceremonial honor guard. Nice touch. Even better was the wary glances they were shooting at the Musk honor guard across the isle, with Herb as their ambassador. Baby Saffron, Kira and the Phoenix were simply icing on the cake after that. The redhead stifled another chuckle, as if they'd somehow be able to hear her through the opened double doors._

_All in all, it was pretty funny considering it was her funeral they were all attending._

_That, and the images she was watching play out were about three months old, now. The martial artist watched for a few minutes longer, noting that it wasn't quite as good as Ceasar's funeral. Now that was a—Ranma paused, grinding her teeth in irritation. Not my memory, not my memory, mot my memory, she clenched a fist, burning the mantra into her head. While it was a small victory to have successfully caught the mental trespass, she knew for every foreign memory she caught, five more normally slid past unnoticed. Of course, unlike Ceasar, she was still alive, so he was welcome to the larger funeral. Ranma shook her head and turned her attention back to the Time Gates. Speaking of Setsuna…_

"_Date, April 11th, 1990. Time: 10:30am. 35 by 40 by 49 point 13 north, 139 by 43 by 43 point 27 east, execute."_

_The scene she had been watching flashed away to a different location thirteen miles south of Nerima, floating high above a small graveyard. "Ten meters AGL at forty-five degrees, z-minus eight." The gates obeyed the command, dropping from aloft and settling in on another funeral, this one much smaller than the last she visited. Eight girls stood around a single plot, their dress varying wildly with each individual. Fortunately they had better weather than the presumed dead martial artist laid to rest three days earlier. Ranma cocked her head, studying the scene for maybe the tenth time since she had stumbled acrossed it. It wasn't the hero's farwell she herself had received, but that wasn't what caused her pause._

"_Six, seven, eight…" Ranma counted of softly as Usagi and the girls began laying single roses on Setsuna Mieou's empty coffin, one by one. "What's wrong with this picture…?" The redhead whispered, leaning forward in her sitting position before the gates. "Y plus thirty two, Z plus three. Give me a tight angle." The gates obeyed and swung her view up and around, affording Ranma a close up of everybody present. She counted the girls off by their planetary names this time and frowned when she got to the last one. "Now where'd the lil' Spore run off to?"_

_The answer was obvious. She simply wasn't there. Ranma put a finger to her lips. The question was why wasn't she there? Puu was one of her best friends, Ranma rationalized, not realizing she had adopted Chibi's title for Setsuna from memories that weren't hers. There's no way she'd miss this event. She didn't know their entire history, but the memories had been flowing steadily. They were connected somehow and for some reason, the fact that she wasn't present filled Ranma with foreboding. In fact, she hadn't been able to find the little pink haired girl anywhere. Setsuna and Chibi… Something to do with time tra—_

_Ranma bolted to her feet suddenly, panic firing through her brain. "Scan timeline. Report last major paradox." The fact that she even knew what a paradox was a trip unto itself, she realized as the funeral faded from view and was replaced by thick blackness. Blue lines began to appear in the darkness, some intersecting while still more branched away. The main blue line continued until it was interrupted by a pulsing red dot. _

"_Last major paradox at 15.3380Z.00001 by 132.900567AX0004.00 time-space." The gates reported in a soft female voice, pausing over the red dot. Ranma Saotome mentally converted the co ordinance with memories that weren't hers and swore. Not only was that the day Pluto sent her to this hell hole, it was the day she died. And if she died, what would have happened to Chibi Usagi? The redhead actively dug through Setsuna's memories now, drawing a blank. They were connected somehow and Chibi had paradoxed out when Setsuna bought it._

"_And I was just starting to like the little trouble-maker…" Ranma frowned unhappily, also unaware that her memories were mixing with Setsuna's own affections for the girl. No, she decided. It wasn't going to go down like that. "Open gates to 15.3380Z.00001 by 132.900567AX0002.00 time space." She was going to fix this little—_

"Operation restricted."_ The gates' disembodied voice chided. _"Your access is insufficient to perform the requested operation. Please contact the Time Gate administrator for further assistance."

_Ranma fumed, glaring at the gates themselves. It wasn't the first time she had heard that message. "The administrator is DEAD, you piece of junk! Let me OUT!"_

_The gates sat passively by, ignoring her orders._

_Ranma began pacing, shooting daggers at the construct. She had been here for three months and still had yet to find a way out. While Setsuna's memories had allowed her to use some of the gate's lower functions, they were still largely incomplete, and whatever magic she used to get the damn things to work was still safely hidden behind the curtain that was leaking the memories into her brain in the first place. If not for the current situation, she would prefer it to remain that way, as they had begun to screw with her gender sense in earnest. That night with Lancelot really stuck out in her mind. It was quite—Ramma scowled, chopping that particular memory down at the source. It had already led to more than enough trouble, taking her down roads she swore she'd never visit in this particular body. Not that it hadn't been entirely unpleasant. In fact…_

"_AAHHHHaaaRR!" Ranma clutched her head with one hand, pounding on it with the other. She stepped away from the gate and launched into a blistering kata, attempting to clear her mind. Focus… focus… It was a devilish situation to be trapped in, she realized. If she wanted out, she had to accept Setsuna's memories to find whatever would unlock the gates. At the same time, they brought with them an unbelievable burden. Not only did they creep in, muddying her own memories, but they were changing her and she woke up every day, fighting for her own identity. If she just accepted those memories outright, it was going to get worse sooner than it got better. Sure, she'd probably find a way out, but at what cost?_

_But that was the price. Ranma fell out of her kata, considering the dilemma. If she wanted out, she had to accept the memories. Not just pieces of them, as the wish hadn't afforded her that particular luxury. All of them. Not only did she have to accept all of them, she had to retain her identity in the process, since the last person she wanted to become was Setsuna Meiou. If it was just her life, the decision would have been much harder for Ranma. But it wasn't. Chibi had paradoxed and the redhead felt an empty, saddening hole where she had existed in her thoughts and memories. The kid deserved better._

_Her course decided, Ranma Saotome settled in for the long haul, none too pleased as to where that road would take her. Even as she accepted her fate, there was one amusing thought that became her ever present companion…_

_The life of a martial artist was, without a doubt, filled with peril._

_

* * *

_  
"So you're completely…" Ukyo asked softly, unable to finish the question that was too alien to her view of Ranma.

"Three thousand years of her versus eighteen of little old me." The long haired redhead replied in an offhanded manner, then smiled. "Overall, I'd say I faired pretty well." She paused and the smile faded slightly. "But there was no avoiding some of the sacrifices I had to make."

Ukyo nodded somewhat solemnly, recognizing exactly what those sacrifices were. Ranma, the man among men was all but gone. His core remained, but a changed person had emerged from the Time Gates to save Chibi and himself… _Herself_, she mentally revised. No man remained in the person named Ranma Saotome, of that she was certain. Somewhere in the void, Ranma had crossed too far over that particular line to return, and she had evidentially made peace with herself concerning it. It was also something the chef would have to---

"Wait a minute…" Ukyo paused abruptly, interrupting her own thoughts. "You made out with _Sir_ Lancelot?"

The redhead didn't even blush. "By proxy." She stated evenly. If Ukyo didn't know better, she could have sworn there was even a slight smile in there somewhere. "After all, it wasn't my body." Ranma didn't feel it necessary to mention the fact that while it hadn't been her body, she remembered every exquisite detail of that encounter quite vividly, let alone the fact that she was probably the Earth's foremost living authority on sex, even if she was still technically a virgin herself.

"I didn't realize that Set-chan got around so much." Haruka muttered to herself, a sentiment that was shared by most of the Senshi present. The woman had been so mysterious that none of them knew anything of the time she spent shepherding history along.

For her part, Ranma simply shrugged off the stares. "She had a lot of time on her hands, go figure." This revelation produced dumb nods from her audience, as it pretty much said it all. Ami, however, was already doing the math.

"Three thousand some years time, one guy per year…" She mentally ticked through the numbers.

"At a minimum." Ranma added off-handedly, causing Ukyo to blush. Others simply gaped.

"And you… remember them all?" The Okanomiyaki master simply couldn't believe Ranma Saotome, manly man of men had fallen so far from that ideal, let alone become so… worldly. It was a sharp contrast from the martial artist she had known a mere six months ago, one that could barely stand to have a girl hang on him let alone discuss matters of intimacy so openly. Ranma simply nodded, keeping her peace on the subject. An uncomfortable silence settled down on the group, while certain others marked Ranma as the go-to person on matters of intimacy, should the matter arise.

Ukyo shifted away from the uncomfortable topic. "So does your family know you're alive?"

Ranma's serene mask slipped noticeably and a hint of fear crept across it. "No. Wasn't planning on letting them know either."

Ukyo Kuonji blinked. Then she blinked again. Usagi took up the next obvious question; the one Ukyo was dying to ask. "But… why?"

"I've had about six months to think on it, and I agree with Setsuna." Ranma began sullenly. "I've taken over the mantle of Pluto. Everyone I know will pass away. I don't need that. They don't need to watch me stay young while they slowly die off…" With those words, it was the first time any of them considered their impact on the world around them, beyond the theme of love and justice. They would all live on even as their family and friends grew old and died around them. "Since I'm already dead, I think I'll let sleeping dogs lie, y'know?"

"Oh no you will not, Ran-chan!" Ranma's head jerked up from her introspection, finding his best friend's eyes locked solidly with hers. "A little bit of Nerima died that day with you. Do you know how many times your mother tried to commit seppuku?"

The answer came softly. "Yes."

"Even the Tendo's suffered after they heard about your death." Ukyo detailed the events of since her absence. "And Akane… She's just not the same. Her spark is _gone_. I never thought I'd say it, but I miss it."

"I don't know…"

"You should." Ranma blinked. The voice came from the diminutive pink haired girl wrapped around her. She stared up at the Princess of Pluto with her big red eyes. "Enjoy them while you can." A tear rolled out of one eye, leaving a glistening trail down her cheek. One from Ranma herself soon followed. Of all people, Small Lady would know, she thought, and given Ranma's unique circumstances, her words carried substantially weight with the martial arts guardian of time, more so than her ex-fiancee. She looked from her, then back to Ukyo, who simply nodded in agreement.

"Okay."

Chibi smiled brightly and tightened her hug around the redhead. Ukyo gave her a pat on the shoulder. "It's gonna be okay, Ran-chan."

The pair sat comforting Ranma for a few more moments until she had recovered enough to field Michiru's question, which was thankfully not along the same vein as the last. She couldn't have known that her particular topic of conversation was a keg of high explosives waiting to be lit. Neptune struck the match.

"So if you're the new Senshi of Time, how is Crystal Tokyo looking?" She forwarded. "Has the change-over disrupted those probabilities?"

"Yes." The reply brought an instant hush over the other Sailors.

"How…?" Usagi asked with trepidation. Was there another big enemy they had to eliminate? "How bad is it?"

"There's a zero point zero chance of Crystal Tokyo coming about." Ranma reported. The silence was deadening for a moment, then chaos reigned.

"ZERO?" Haruka lurched forward in total disbelief.

"How in the world is that possible!" Ami's eyes were wide in similar disbelief. She pulled out the Mercury computer and began tapping in variables.

"If Crystal Tokyo doesn't exist…" Moon let the statement speak for itself. If that future didn't exist, then mankind was totally and completely doomed. Not even the small remnant of man would survive. "It was nearly one-hundred percent before we took the pocket universe out! What the hell happened!"

"_I happened." _

Ranma stood up from her seat and Chibi disentangled herself from the redhead. Ukyo knew the look of ice that resided in the Saotome's eyes and mentally readied herself for what was about to occur. She had no idea what Crystal Tokyo was, but if Ranma was about to lay some smack down, there would be no question as to whose side she'd come down, regardless of how many youma she had slain with the sailors. She stepped off to Ranma's right flank, giving them both combat room. It caused the redhead to smile slightly. Even after so much change, it was nice to know some things never would.

"You _what?_" Haruka hissed, deadly venom leaking from her voice.

"But Setsuna…!" Makoto practically squeeled and Ranma cut her off sharply.

"Maybe I should reintroduce myself." She bit testily. "I'm _Ranma Saotome_, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, Guardian of Time and Last Princess of Pluto. I am _not_ Setsuna Meiou and I _will not_ let over nine billion people die on my watch."

"Are you saying you will deny man its last hope of survival!" Moon bolted upright, totally forgetting the cookies she had been munching on contently.

"No." Ranma burned a hard stare into Moon, who took a step back. "I'm saying that I _will not_ write off ninety-nine percent of the world's population on some idyllic post apocalyptic future. The lines may have blurred while I was trapped in the Time Gates, but one thing that hasn't is that the first duty of a martial artist is to protect those who cannot protect themselves, and I _will_ fight to my last breath before that future comes to pass."

"And what do you think you can do to stop us from pursuing it?" Michiru stepped up to Haruka, flanking Usagi. "In fact, what's to stop us from revoking your status as _substitute_ Guardian of Time?"

Ukyo reached around her back, bringing the combat spatula to bear. She took Ranma's own over-confident grin as her own. "You're welcome to try, Sugar."

Usagi's wide eye stare matched those of the inners, who obviously hadn't been expecting any confrontation, let alone one that would escalate so far out of control so quickly. That, and she couldn't figure out why there was a huge grin plastered across Chibi Usa's face, who had yet to leave the redhead's side. Moon couldn't believe it—One day as a real Senshi and Ranma was staging her own mini rebellion! In that moment, all the sacrifices they had made in the name of Crystal Tokyo came to the forefront and she did the only thing she could.

"No!" She snapped. "I did not let billions die! You can't just come in and destroy everything we've worked so hard for in two hours time! As the Princess of the Moon, I cannot allow that!"

"Two hours?" Ranma scoffed, putting her hand to her hips defiantly. "I've had six months and _three thousand years_ of fucking memories to consider this, little girl. As I see it, you don't have much of a choice."

Moon glared at the redhead. "Hmmf! I can always remove you as a Senshi with this!" There was brief flash of light and the glowing crystalline form of the Ginzuishou formed in her hand.

Ranma's rolled her eyes. "_Pah-lease_. I have every memory of you that Setsuna has. You can barely even use that stupid rock, let alone remove my abilities before I can incapacitate you; and even if you managed to accomplish that feat, I'm still the best martial artist in the world. You wouldn't last five seconds."

Two pink flashes erupted at Moon's side and Michiru and Haruka processed their transformation to from civilian to Senshi, taking up attack stances. "I think you're over-estimating your odds, you redheaded bitch."

"_I don't think so."_

Another flash of light perforated the room once more. Once it faded, the Senshi froze in panic. Even the outers at Usagi's side took a step back. Ukyo simply stared. What had once been the little pink haired girl at Ranma's side was now a lithe, fully developed woman. 'Goth' was the first thing that came to her mind as her eyes fell upon the woman clad in a pitch black evening gown, wrapped in translucent of pink and black streamers. It was all bound by a studded black collar. Her forehead was topped with a golden moon symbol and Ukyo decided that somehow, the clash of cute and gothic worked for the girl. That's also when she noticed it absolutely wasn't working for her former friends.

Usagi was the first to find her voice. _"Black lady!"_

"How the hell did that happen!" Rei screeched and took several steps back, while Haruka let a silent "oh shit" form at her mouth. Everybody present remembered their last encounter with Chibi's Wiseman-born alter ego, as well as the ass-whooping that followed. Every Sailor in the room activated their transformations simultaneously and took defensive positions off Sailor Moon, who was holding the Ginzuishou like it was some warding symbol.

The pink haired woman laughed with contempt as she rejoined Ranma's side as she had in her smaller form, only now it seemed a far more intimate gesture. If Ranma objected, it wasn't written on her face or body language.

"And _what_ do you think you're going to do with _that_?" Her voice sounded like tiny daggers who had found amusement in the girl in front of her.

"I'm going to use its power to return you to normal, Wicked Lady!" Moon proclaimed, and began concentrating. The crystal glowed briefly, flickered and died. She stared at the crystal, then Usa, then back to the crystal and began to shake it as if it were a defective piece of electronics.

Usa sighed, clearly bored with the scene. "The catalyst for that particular change was removed when my timeline was wiped." She turned slightly into the Senshi of Pluto next to her. "I spent nearly 900 years trapped in that silly body …yet another thing I have to thank Ranma-chan for correcting." Even Ukyo arched an eyebrow at how close she had moved to Ranma. She didn't seem to be discouraging the pink haired goth, either.

Sailor Venus peered at the woman formerly known as Chibi Usa, noting the gold moon on her forhead. "She doesn't _seem _evil…"

"If I were evil, I would have blasted you all to glass by now." Usa remarked dryly, taking the others back. "As it is, I'm simply in agreement with my Ranma-chan. I've been through the catastrophe once. I was assured it was the only way then, and now, I will _not_ allow it to happen again."

The fact that she was refering to Ranma as _her_ Ranma-chan didn't go unnoticed by Ukyo, who was already doing her best not to tear the interloper slash ally away from Ranma's personal space.

Sailor Uranus stepped forward in Moon's silence, trying to regain the upper hand in their standoff. "Somehow, I doubt that you can take all of us _and _stand up to Saturn's power as well."

As if that were her cue, Sailor Saturn stepped up from the back and past the Senshi, who immediately began to gape. Uranus cursed to herself as Hotaru's adult form walk past her to confront Ranma. Luscious, floor-length black hair flowed behind her fully developed figure and Uranus swore again. When the hell did _that _happen? It was just a fucking red letter day all the way around. Off to her right, Mercury twitched. She had since recognized the adult form as sort of an armament switch and was not looking forward to the planet buster going live. A beautifully dressed planet bluster, clad in a sleevless silk vest, pearls and a long, elegant dress, but a planet buster none the less with Silence Glaive balanced lightly on he left shoulder.

"Hotaru." Ranma managed the air of serene mystery about her with ease, allowing a slight smile to escape the cloak. Saturn cocked her head, studying the Guardian of Time momentarily before turning to Usa, whose dememor was all but identical. She gave them both a nod and joined their right flank.

"Saturn, what are you _doing!"_ Sailor Uranus hissed, unable to believe the trespass that had just occurred.

The matured Saturn pursed her lips and cast a sidelong glance over to Usa. "Joining my friends. Besides, I think I'd prefer the company of those who haven't been plotting my demise."

The Outers gut turned to solid ice with those words.

Ukyo's mind flew through the startling developments, trying to make sense of the entire situation with only a limited amount of history at her disposal. Somehow, Ranma had just rallied the two most powerful Senshi to her cause. What that cause was, exactly, she wasn't sure, but it was enough to afford her a largely patronizing smile for the remaining Senshi, Uranus in particular. "How are those odds looking now, Sugar?"

Moon stared incredulously at the force now arrayed against her, which easily eclipsed hers in both skill and power, if not numbers. The girl she had considered her little sister for so long had matured into a stunning woman with nearly nine-hundred years of experience her senior. She had joined the side of not only the world's premier martial artist, but the newly anointed Senshi of Time with three thousand years of memories to call her own. If that weren't enough, their presence was now augmented by the recently matured and slightly resentful Sailor Saturn. Words simply could describe the amount of dread that particular bit of knowledge invoked. Finally, there was Ukyo, whose own skill, if not power easily rivaled that of any of the Inners. All in all, it was turning out to be a bad situation for Moon to be in, even with the superiority she had in numbers.

Finally, the inevitable happened. Sailor Moon broke into tears.

"But... but why!" She sobbed with huge eyes. "I'm such a _good_ princess!"

Usa sighed and Ranma stepped forward with an unreadable mask etched on her face. The redhead took the girl's hand and looked into her eyes, and it was as if that serene calm flowed into the blond, stabilizing her emotional state somewhat. "Perhapse, but there is more to being a princess- or a queen for that matter –than waving a crystal around, or a wand or running around it a fuku."

"But… Crystal Tokyo…" Moon sniffled and the Guardian of Time sighed. She just wouldn't let it go.

"The only reason Crystal Tokyo even seems like a remotely good idea is because actually saving the world has far longer odds attached to it." She explained patiently as the rest of the Sailors listened in, never having heard this particular aspect of the mission before. "It all comes down to doing the smart thing or the right thing. The smart thing is to cut your losses and wait for Crystal Tokyo. The _right_ thing is to fight for every last man woman and child on this planet, even if you or every single last one of us go down in the attempt."

"The path of a Magical Girl is fraught with peril." Ukyo quipped as she sheathed her combat spatula, earning a smile from her best friend in the process.

Ranma nodded at the essence of her comment. "Are you a guardian of love and justice?" Moon blinked. Of course I am, she thought as Ranma's stare bore into her. What kind of question—

"Then your path is clear."

Sailor Moon blink at the enigmatic statement and watched as Ranma Saotome, Heir of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, Guardian of Time and Last Princess of Pluto turned on heel and leave the room followed by Dark Usa, heir Primus to the throne of Serenity, Sailor Saturn and Ukyo Kuonji, Okanomiyaki master and Demon hunter extraordinaire.

* * *

"So have you thought about where you're going to stay?" 

Ukyo asked as the four women stepped out into the open air of the dusk sky. For the passers by they were quite a sight, being more than a bit on the exotic side. For once, the chef and her combat spatula weren't the ones drawing the most attention. Of course, it didn't help that all four of them were absolutely gorgeous either. Frankly, Ukyo was having a hard time not staring herself. Not only was her best friend alive… She was _changed._ Granted, coming back from the dead might do that, she acknowledged, but the amount of change was nothing short of staggering. In fact, none of the women currently in her company had left that room unchanged.

Chibi Usa had transformed into a lithe, pink gothic fairy, and held herself entirely too close to the now female Ranma to be construed as anything but intimate. Worse still was the fact that Ranma had done nothing to dissuade her presence. Ukyo took another, discreet glance over at the pair. The way Usa had her arm subtly entwined with Ranma's was nowhere near the glomps of old, but they were infinitely more suggestive.

Then there was Hotaru, who still maintained her quiet, neutral demeanor, but held it with an air of authority now. She too had undergone a startling transformation. Gone was the self-conscious school girl in favor of a full developed woman, with quite possibly the best figure of the four of them. All in all, she was nothing more than a punctuation mark on an already well written sentence concerning the stunning beauty they invoked.

Then there was the _hair._

Ukyo simply couldn't believe it. It wasn't often that her waist length black mane was eclipsed by the women around her, and now all three of them had done exactly that. There was just _so much_ of it. Ranma's bright red hair easily reached her calves, while Usa's pink streamers did likewise. Of course, none of it held a candle to Hotaru's, whose luscious black tresses somehow flowed along the ground, getting neither tangled or dirty.

The Okanomiyaki Master was getting a tad jealous, quite frankly.

Ranma cocked her head thoughtfully. "I think that was enough drama for one night, so Nerima's out." Her best friend silently agreed. The Senshi standoff had been dramatic enough, let alone the chaos Ranma would incite on her return to Nerima. Ranma looked at Hotaru and Usa, frowning slightly. "And I did mange to get us all kicked out of our homes." Usa smiled and gave her arm a light squeeze while Hotaru merely shrugged. "I guess we'll have to find a hotel for the night."

Ukyo smiled. "Come on, Ran-chan, you know my door is always. It'll be a tight fit for all of us, but…"

"I was thinking of the Imperial." Ranma commented, causing Ukyo to choke on her words.

"THE IMPERIAL!" She gasped, staring at her best friend as if she had not only changed genders and become the Guardian of Time, but grown a second head as well. "Uh, don't know how to break it to you, Sugar, but the Imperial rates thirty-thousand a night… _Minimum._"

"No worries, Ucchan." Ranma smiled gently. "It's all taken care of."

"Taken care of…?"

"How do I put this…" The redhead put her finger to her lips, only to have Usa preempt her explanation.

"Setsuna was loaded."

"And now, so am I." Ranma finished, and the two women smiled at each other. There was an unspoken something that passed between them and it was a something that was making Ukyo very uncomfortable. She turned back to the chef. "Setsuna's been collecting wealth for nearly three thousand years now, secreting it in stashes world wide. A few million in a bank here, another couple in a bank there. Priceless works of art. Precious stones from Atlantis. I could _buy_ the Imperial if wanted to out of my play money."

"You could buy every five star hotel in Tokyo out of your play money." Usa teased, causing Ranma to smile.

"True."

"So not only are you alive, a Senshi and retain three thousand years of your predecessor's memories," Ukyo ticked off with her fingers. "You're also filthy, stinkin' rich."

Ranma's smile widened. "That's about right."

The Okanomiyai master demon hunter sighed, totally exasperated. "Even dead, the chaos sticks to you like glue."

The laughter that comment incited lasted them all the way to the Imperial, where upon Ranma checked them in under an account that instantly earned them the staff's undivided attention. Three deluxe suites on the Imperial's 16th floor ensured it stayed that way, and the uneven number of rooms didn't register with Ukyo until they stepped of the elevator. She found her room and watched Ranma and Usa continue down the hall.

"Three rooms?" She asked, hesitantly, to which Ranma nodded with a carefully neutral expression. Usa's proximity was not lost on the chef. "And where will you be sleeping?"

"We'll be sleeping… together."

Ukyo Kuonji's mental process stumbled and plowed into a brick wall with Usa's words, who hadn't so much as batted an eye. The pair was entirely too calm and the implication was too obvious to ignore, especially given the signs she had been seeing all day long. If Ranma was as rich as she claimed, there was no doubt she could afford another suite if she so chose… Which meant… No. No _fucking_ way. There had to be another explanation.

"Um, Ran-chan?" She began tentatively. "Can I have a word with you?" Her eyes flicked to the pink haired woman next to her, frowning. "Alone?"

Ranma nodded to Usa, who took the keycard from the redhead's hand and found the room only a few feet away. Ukyo remained silent until the suite door clicked shut with the woman safely behind it.

"Ranma, what the _hell_ is going on!" Ukyo spat sharply, covering the distance to her friend easily. "Tell me that is _not_ what I think it is!"

"It's exactly what you think it is." Ranma sighed. Ukyo's jaw dropped, her train of thought promptly derailing in a massive wreck of twisted metal. "I told you there were sacrifices. With those sacrifices came changes. Lots of them."

"But… but..!" Ukyo gibbered, desperate to form a coherent thought. "But she's a girl! You're not a…!" Her thought process took another stumble as Ukyo realized she didn't know what the proper sexual orientation for Ranma was anymore. He was a guy who changed into a girl, who preferred girls. So what happens when you start preferring the girl's body? Do you still prefer other girls? How about guys? Did that make Ranma a homosexual or lesbian? Even if the martial arts demon hunting chef had made it past that hurtle, she would then have to consider the effects of three thousand years of female memories being imposed on an eighteen year old male psyche.

The martial arts Senshi waited patiently for the shock to expend itself before continuing. That unnerving aura of calmness surrounding Ranma only served to reinforce Ukyo's growing feelings toward the redhead. She didn't know her friend _at all _anymore.

"I've explained the memories and Setsuna's… pastime." Ranma explained calmly, taking Ukyo's hand. "What I haven't explained is the relationship between Usa and myself. Before the memories, I knew her as a cute little trouble making child. After the memories, that view changed. Radically. I now share quite a history with her, and probably know her better than anybody alive. Likewise, she not only shares those experiences, but those of the future. She has lived what could have been, and apparently both myself and Setsuna featured prominently in that future."

"That's just…. Weird." It was also a vast understatement, but it was the best the shell shocked Ukyo could come up at the moment.

Ranma nodded, sharing the sentiment. "Even if I wanted to, there's no way I could deny the bond. That bond…changed when Chibi cast her childhood form aside."

"So…" Ukyo paused, trying to catch a mental breath. "You're both…" She clutched her head. "Dammit Ran-chan! If I was gonna get beat out, I expected it to be by another fiancée with you as a guy, not _this!_"

Ranma snorted, as laughter cracked her calm façade. "You and me both."

The introspective humor caught Ranma's childhood friend off guard. "What do you mean…?"

"I had no idea Setsuna was such a freak… And now here I am, by proxy." Ranma shook her head. "Men, women, threesomes…" Ukyo simply blinked. "But then, three thousand years is more than enough time for boredom to set in, I guess."

Ukyo continued to blink, and it was a good minute before anything resembling a coherent thought found its way to her mouth. It came out in the form of a weary sigh. "Alright, too much information."

Another nod understanding nod from Ranma. "Tell me about it. Anyway, you'll always be Ucchan to me. See you tomorrow." Ukyo watched as the person that was simultaneously her best friend and perfect stranger disappeared through the door Usa had claimed.

She was certain that wouldn't be the only thing claimed tonight.

* * *

"A limo?" Ukyo arched an eyebrow as the first rays of dawn cracked the skyline. Truth be told, Ukyo Kuonji hadn't woken in the best of moods, a state borne of her incessant dwelling on what was happening in the room next to her last night. It didn't help matters when they emerged from their room by dawns early light, positively glowing. The chef barely suppressed the urge to smash a nearby sculpture into tiny, little pieces. 

The jet black stretch Bently glided up to the curb and Ukyo simply stared. "Don't you think that's a bit much?"

"Nah." Ranma dismissed the missive. "I just spent six months cooped up in the Time Gates. Figure I'm entitled to some pampering." Usa disengaged from her arm, turning to Hotaru.

"How about it, Ru-chan?" The pinked haired women inquired easily. "Shopping?

"Don't mind it I do," A smile cracked Hotaru's neutral mask.

Ukyo watched a chauffer opened the doors of the black monolith on wheels and hesitated as the three women got in. The ground she was transversing with Ranma wasn't just unfamiliar, it was downright treacherous.

"Coming, Ucchcan?"

Ukyo broke from her introspective to find Ranma's bright blue eyes locked on to hers, having paused in the doorway. Ukyo hesitate some more. "Look, I don't know… I have the restaurant to look after, and…"

"The restaurant will take care of itself for one day." Ranma stated, then continued with a smile, "And if it can't, I'll send somebody over who can."

Ukyo favored Ranma with a skeptical look. "And just how would you do that?"

Ranma pulled out a business card and flipped it between her fingers. "Me and the hotel manager are very good friends." Ranma deadpanned, then smiled. "Seriously, Ucchan, I've changed, but I'm still Ranma. We just need time to get adjusted."

"Alright, alright…" Ukyo surrendered, stepping to the curb. "But don't think I approve of your little stunt last night."

"You would have if you had been—OW!" Ukyo scowled once more as her fist bounced off Ranma's head.

"For being the Guardian of Time, you sure as hell didn't see _that one_ coming…"

* * *

Ryoga Hibiki, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts sidestepped the mid-kick that blazed by him, grabbed the offending leg and pulled it through on it's own momentum. The action caused one balding middle aged martial artist to stumble through the maneuver. Ryoga brought his own fist around, ready to pound his attacker, when the elder pivoted impossibly on one foot and onto his hand for balance. The remaining foot that was presumed to be out of position actually was dead on target, and leveled out into Ryoga's chest. 

_WHaaaM! SPALoooSH!_

The bandanna'd martial artist went flying into the only logical place a Jusenkyo cursed person could land, and fell into the Tendo koi pond, sending a geyser of water high into the air. Genma Saotome recovered from is combat stance and folded his arms with satisfaction.

"You're getting sloppy, Hibiki!" He proclaimed as a small black creature emerged from the pond.

"BWeeeeeEE! Bwe Bwee!" The tiny black piglet sputtered, obviously none too pleased with its impromptu bath.

"You're still too damn slow." Genma noted, almost to himself. "Gonna have to hit the speed training harder." With that, he shrugged and walked across the yard and back into the house without a second look at the small swine.

The piglet continued to protest furiously until a steady of shower of warm water found his person. "Bwee bwee Bwee is hell because of you, Genma Saotome!" Ryoga paused, noticing the perspective shift immediately as the curse reversed. "Thanks." He replied to his unknown benefactor absently. The martial artist proceeded to collect his clothing from the koi pond before pausing once more. Warm water didn't often pour from the sky of its own violation to conveniently reverse his cursed state, and a curious Ryoga turned around, finding its source sitting happily on the Tendo property wall mere feet from him. She wore loose red silk pants, a white sports bra and matching red jacket. Long red hair waved in the afternoon summer breeze, framing the bright blue eyes that stared down at him with mischievous intent.

There could be no mistake.

A girl had just seen him completely nude.

"ACK! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Ryoga exclaimed, gathering the crumples of soaked clothing around notable parts of his anatomy.

"Don't be sorry. You're certainly better equipped than most." Her smile widened and Ryoga froze. Now something was wrong. Something beyond a girl seeing him naked. The voice. The young man's head pivoted back up to the girl, processing the details he had already seen for the first time.

"Ieee…eeehh… Impossible…." He whispered, his formerly crimson blush draining completely away into a white mask. It was instantly replaced by a look of outrage. "WHY DO YOU KEEP HAUNTING ME, SAOTOME?"

The girl arched an eyebrow and flipped off the wall gracefully from her sitting position, landing neatly beside the banndanna'd boy. "Put your clothes on, baka. I'm alive."

Ryoga blinked. Alive? He took a step back from the would-be apparition, studying her intently. The last one had said it was alive too. Over, and over, and OVER again. But this one was different. It was… feminine? The lost boy rolled the conundrum around in his head. Ranma never came to him looking feminine. Except for that one time, but she had fangs and two heads then. Of course, there was always one sure fire way to be sure…

"PREPARE TO DIE, SAOTOME!"

* * *

_BOOOooooMMM!_

The thundering crash sent a shockwave through Nabiki Tendo's cup of tea, casuing the rebounding ripples to send a few drops into the air and onto the table, eliciting a frown from her older sister.

"Oh my."

The middle Tendo bit her tongue at the innocuous comment, snatching the hot tea from the table before another rumble shook the house. A small plate of spring rolls hopped across its surface. She snatched a glance at Genma, who seemed all but oblivious to the commotion as he continued to stuff his face. Ok, she thought. If Genma is in here, then who the hell is Ryoga expending that kind of firepower on? Her eyes flicked over to Akane, who was trying to get a better of the courtyard from her position. Couldn't be attributed to her mallet of destruction, either. Nabiki sighed and got to her feet wearily. It was, after all, her obligation to check it out. She'd just have to make certain that he paid for annoying her later on today. Literally.

Nabiki stepped to the arcadia door to the courtyard and watched the impossible.

Two blurs danced across the courtyard, engaged in high intensity martial arts combat. The first figure was obviously Ryoga, who was putting everything he had into hitting the second figure, a red head clad in loose red silk trousers and a white sports bra. Her main of red hair flowed behind her as she launched into a nearly impossible aerial corkscrew, taking the her over a punch that promised to level a building if it connected. Nabiki's breath was caught in her breath as she watched the impossible scene play out. No way. That couldn't be…

"Akane…" She called in a low, reverent voice. It instantly got the girl's attention. "I think I need you to check me on this one."

"Check you?" The chopsticks paused at her mouth. The absolute stillness of her elder sister earned her undivided attention.

"Yeah, because I'm not the one prone to seeing visions of Ranma dancing in my head." Akane blinked, not comprehending the words for a moment before scrambling up from the table. Chopsticks clattered the ground and she was instantly at Nabiki's side, watching the same scene.

"Im…possible!" The sound of a broken dish accompanied Akane's words. If she could have turned around, she would have found Kasumi with an equally shocked look on her face.

"Oh…Oh My…." She studdered in a most un-Kasumi like manner. "Ranma's… back from the dead. I'll have to prepare another setting."

The two traded blows for a few more minutes before separating, as if my mutual consent. Ryoga stared at his opponent, who smiled mysteriously back. It took the banndanna'd martial artist a minute to gather the courage to say his next words.

"R…Ranma?"

Ranma cocked her head with an innocent smile. "Yes?"

"You'e alive?" Ryoga stepped forward, poking the redhead in the shoulder.

"Last I checked." She stepped up to him and took his hand. "It's good to see you, Ryoga-kun." The moment held until Ranma was plowed over by the youngest Tendo sister.

"Oh my God! Ranma! You're alive! It's impossible!" Akane and Ranma hit the ground in fierce embrace, Ranma sputtering laughter.

"Yes! Yes! I'm alive for cryin' out loud!" She protested from the ground half heartedly as a small crowd of close friends gathered around in disbelief. It took another minute for Ranma to pry Akane off and make it to her feet so that the others could acknowledge her existence. The next hug was far more gentle in nature as Kasumi stepped into her.

"It's very good to see you again, Ranma-kun." She smiled warmly and Ranma knew Usa and Ukyo had been right after all. "I was starting to get worried about you."

Ranma blinked. She wasn't even about to touch that one so she settled for a simple nod. "Thanks, Kas-chan. It's good to be home…"

"What gives, Saotome? You're supposed to be dead." Nabiki asked, her voice laden with a mixture of skepticism while fighting to keep the awe from being audible. Of course, none of them should have been surprised, she amended as an after thought. The guy had cheated death so many times it was getting to be old habit.

The Saotome shrugged. "I got better."

Nabiki cast him a dry look and took stock of the martial artist, who was retrieving her red jacket that had been hanging off a nearby kotoji. It didn't take her powers of observation to note the changes in the martial artist's appearance, starting at the leg length hair and ending in the fashionable red ensemble what- to Nabiki's trained eye -looked to have cost a shiny yen or two. Beyond that, if Ranma actually was still alive… "Come on, Ranma, we need to talk."

"Nabikiiii…" Akane growled stepping defensively to Ranma's side, who simply watched the scene play out.

"You know what's going to happen when Genma finds out, A-chan." The middle sister justified, which did nothing to dissuade Akane's glare.

"And you _know_ what happened last time you tried your petty scheming on Ryoga-kun." Now Ranma moved from amusement to genuine curiosity as Nabiki's mask faltered ever so slightly.

"But…"

Akane cracked her knuckles, which popped audibly. Each pop seemed to reinforce her own position on the matter. Nabiki frowned, but remained quiet this time. Seeing that her message had been clearly received, she turned back to Ranma with a smile. "Ranma! You look…" The smile faltered slightly as she took in the redhead's appearance, but was quickly replaced. "…It's good to see you again, Ranma."

"What she means is, 'my you look incredibly feminine'" Nabiki adlibbed with a dry smile, to which Ranma shrugged.

"Being dead will do that to you." She replied cryptically, then turned back to Ryoga. "Your speed needs some work, but you've got a solid grasp on the technique." She paused, as if thinking of something. "Do I even want to ask why Pops is teaching you Anything Goes?"

Ryoga simply shook his head and Akane replied for him. "No. You _really_ don't."

"Two thousand yen." Nabiki held out her hand expectantly and Ranma failed to stifle her chuckle.

"If I wanted to know the future, I'd just go look for myself, Nabs." She replied nonchalantly, then sniffed the air. "Is that lunch I smell?"

"Oh my," Kasumi exclaimed in a slightly alarmed manner. "You must be starved after coming back to life." Ranma didn't have the time or inclination to object as Kasumi led her from the yard and into the house, where a balding old man in white karate gi sat stuffing his face. His portion of food long since depleted, the resource harvester had since moved on to Akane and Nabiki's plates. Kasumi's remained miraculously untouched. The eldest sister sighed. "Mr. Saotome, if you don't behave yourself, I might be forced to put you on another diet."

The blurring chopsticks froze abruptly, hovering millimeters from the last morsel on Akane's plate. "Uh.. heheh heheh.." He turned to give the Tendo an innocent smile, only to have it wither and die off his face as he found the person standing next to her. "Boy? Is that you?"

"Jeez, gone six months and nobody recognize---OOF!." Ranma commented only to have the life squeezed out of him as Genma seemingly teleported from his sitting position to a bear hug around the redheaded girl.

"I knew you couldn't be dead! No stupid puny youma could defeat my son! Not even a universe full of them!" Genma beamed, yanking the girl back and forth. "We've got to tell Nodoka-chan! And Soun! The schools can be--!" Ranma broke the fierce embrace easily and stepped back, with an expression whose temperature had dropped sharply. It wasn't outright hostility or anger, but all the warm familiarity had drained away.

"No."

"--joined?" Genma stood bewildered; his arms suddenly empty of his son. He stared at the girl in front of him, who had donned a mask as unreadable as any Nabiki had ever owned. Beside her, Akane, Nabiki, Kasumi and Ryoga watched the unmistakable change in attitude and swore an entirely different person had just taken over Ranma's body. They weren't too far from the truth. "But, Son, you're alive! We can finally fulfill--"

"What part of 'no' don't you understand?" Ranma replied calmly. "While it's good to see you too, there will be no engagements, Genma Saotome. Period."

Genma was at a loss, torn between the incessant need to fulfill his family honor and the spontaneous resurrection of his son. Of course, that wasn't the only thing to give the aging martial artist pause, as he was noticing the exact same changes the others already had. With indecision waging war in his psyche, Ranma's father opted to take the high road…

…He'd wait for backup.

"Nevermind that now," He brushed past the topic. "Where the hell did you run off to? And why the heck are you dressed in those girly clothes."

"That's what I want to know."

"Same here."

"Ditto."

Ranma looked from her father to Nabiki, Akane and Ryoga, who all waited for the explanation with baited breath. Ranma shook her head. She really wasn't looking forward to explaining everything another five times, so she cut to the chase in an effort to avoid the inevitable. "No, it's not locked."

"Whew." The tension drained from Genma's frame. If the curse wasn't locked, then the clothing was no doubt part of some elaborate stunt the boy was regularly engaged in. "Kasumi, could you bring the boy some hot water?"

Kasumi turned to happily comply with his request only to have it instantly countermanded. "No, Kasumi. Hot water won't be necessary." Now they were staring at the redhead with interest. Ranma's curse wasn't unlocked, but had just turned down the offer to revert to his birth form?

"You didn't…" Nabiki was the first to put two and two together, and she wasn't happy with the answer it came up with.

Ranma shrugged, allowing a slight smile to escape the serene mask. "Afraid so."

Akane, however, was still in the dark. "Didn't what?"

"Dammit, you can't do this to me!" Nabiki protested with outrage, successfully confusing the redhead. "I've seen hell because of you, Saotome!" She stopped her tirade short, putting a shocked hand over her mouth. "My God, I'm even starting to sound like him…"

"Maybe I should have taken you up on that two-thousand yen…" Ranma pursed her lips trying to make sense of the middle sister's outburst when the answer suddenly came to Akane, who could do nothing but produce a malicious grin.

"It's Nabiki's 'business arrangement', Ranma." Nabiki scowled at her sister's words, and Ranma instantly knew it was going to be a great story. "When you, um, disappeared, our parents were left without an heir…"

"Oh, you've got to be kidding…" Ranma's cool mask lapsed for a moment as she too made the connection.

Akane nodded, all smiles. "So your father conned P-chan here into being the heir, while your mom dropped a chunk of money on Nabiki's doorstep to be the fiancée since I… wasn't up to it after… well, you know…"

Ranma was barely suppressing a fit of giggles as he stared at the two red-faced teens. She turned back to her father, who was desperately avoiding eye contact. "You know, for once I totally approve of your stupidity."

Genma's head jerked up suddenly. "But since you're back--"

"Since I'm back, _nothing_, old man." The frosty mask dropped back into place and she took an aggressive step forward. "You have _no idea_ what it took me to get back to this point, and I'll be _damned_ if I'm going to step back into this pile of shit you've created for yourself _again_." Ranma withdrew and turned to Akane, peace flowing back around her like a cloak. "…No offense, Akane-chan."

"Um, none taken?" The youngest daughter was wide eyed and shocked. It hadn't been the first time Ranma had called his father out on the stupidity concerning the engagement, but it was the first time she could remember her outright refusing to play into it since the day they were first introduced.

"We'll see how long that lasts." Ranma turned to find Nabiki cradling the end tables' phone receiver in one hand, her gaze narrowed sharply on the redhead. Something caused her to smile, and she began to speak into the other end, her eyes never leaving Ranma. "Yes, it's Nabiki. Mmm-Hmm. It's good to hear from you too. Well, sit down please because I have some news for you. Sitting? Good. He's alive. No, I swear I'm not. Yes, he's here now. I know. I will. See you in a few." Nabiki lowered the receiver with a light click, and her smile turned positively feral.

"That was your mother, of course. She's _so_ glad to hear you're alive." Nabiki explained effortlessly, as if such a thing occurred everyday. She was, however, slightly disappointed that the news didn't seem to even dent Ranma's serene demeanor. "_You_ may be happy with the way things have turned out, but I'll be damn if I'm going to get the shaft because of it."

"Nabiki…." Akane growled, glaring at her sister fiercely.

"No, Akane." She waved her off. "You're here, he's back and I'm done trying to keep track of the idiot lost boy over there." She opened her mouth for another round of biting commentary only to feel a gust of wind, suddenly finding the redhead in her face, Ranma's nose inches from her own. Nobody had even seen the redhead _move,_ and the intensity flickering in the woman's blue eyes caused her to shiver.

"First of all, we _are not_ your puppets to be played, Nabiki Tendo." Ranma hissed softly, causing the sister to take an involuntary step back. It wasn't rage. It could barely be called anger. But one thing that is was, was displeasure. _Intense_ displeasure. "You screwed yourself by buying into this mess, not I or Akane. Suck it up. _Second_," Nabiki took another step back, drops of sweat bubbling from her forehead. "Akane and Ryoga are my friends. Make them unhappy and you make me _very_ unhappy. Finally, the only reason I'm giving you a pass here is because I don't want to have to explain everything five hundred times. Play with me, my family or my friends again like that and you'll find I can make life _very _difficult for you." Nabiki was now backed up against the dining room wall and Ranma leaned into those remaining inches. "I hope I've made myself _absolutely_ clear."

The middle Tendo stood stunned, unable to tear her eyes away from the radiant blue orbs that had locked onto hers. Of all the incoherent thoughts that demanded her attention, one stood out amongst them all… She _did not _know this woman. She may have been wearing Ranma's body, but this was not the naïve martial artist she knew six months ago. That, and she wasn't lying… She wouldn't simply make her life difficult, she'd make it _hell_. Manipulating her again would be like poking a scorpion, or some similarly venomous animal.

The redhead started to turn away , but stopped halfway through the motion. "And while you're at it, give Cologne and the others a call too."

* * *

_Ranma Saotome stared at the closed Time Gates, contemplating her fate. She had endured the last six months of isolation and memories, somehow retaining her sanity, but not without a price. The line was blurred and after three thousand years worth of Setsuna, Ranma could no longer call herself a man. Ranma knew every aspect of life as a woman intimately from emotion to biological necessity, and after six months all alone on the night, there was no turning back. If she had been in her male form, she might have withstood the flood. Or gone insane. As it was, the memories had left their indelible mark and she had made her peace with them. It was the compromise and sacrifice she had to make for what she was about to do._

_The redhead, whose hair had since grown out of its pigtail took a deep breath and hoped to God those memories hadn't betrayed her._

_"Initiate override sequence alpha-alpha-echo-zero break five." She began, speaking toward the immobile gates. "Authorization, Setsuna Meiou, Princess of Pluto."_

_"Initial override sequence recocognized." The gates replied softly. "Awaiting preliminary identification."_

_Ranma let a dead smile cross her face. She knew what the gates wanted. They wanted a voice print. Maybe some DNA. More codes. Unfortunately, she couldn't provide anything beyond the latter. "Negative. Reincarnation protocols."_

_The gates stood silently for a moment, as if thinking her words over. "Reincarnation Protocals recognized. Awaiting override sequence." Ranma took a deep breath and dug into memories that were all but her own. The Reincarnation Protocals were exactly that—Should Setsuna have died and be reborn, there was no guarantee that her biology would match that of which the time gates knew. For just such an occation, a master reset had been programmed into the gates, one that only Setsuna Meiou with the memories of Sailor Pluto would be able to access._

_And now, those memories were Ranma Saotome's._

_She began stepping lightly to an invisible beat, gracefully executing a derivative form of Bugakuand dance and Silver Millennium ballroom that a scant living few would have been able to recognize, let alone reproduce. Ranma Saotome flowed through the night with the precision only a martial artist could achieve… or somebody who had been practicing dance as a hobby for nearly three millennia. Lucky for Ranma, she was both at the moment, drawing on Setsuna's memories as if they were own and her conditioning in the arts to float through the moment. The tempo in her mind's eye increased and her movements blurred. The martial artists smiled. In some ways, it was like a kata; supremely relaxing while it conditioned both mind and body. It was one of the habits she actually wouldn't mind keeping from the late guardian of time. The mental tempo slowed and she came to a precise stop before the Time Gates and waited._

"_Sequence Accepted. Loading Reincarnation protocols." Ranma relaxed as the voice accepted Setsuna's code. "Caution. Protocol will purge current Time Gate administarator Setsuna Meiou from this system. Current Time Gate administrator will not be recognized henceforth. Proceed with protocol?"_

_Ranma Saotome chewed on her lip, sparing herself a moment of indecisiveness. There really was only one thing to be done, and that was to give the go ahead. But there was more. Once she did so, she- Ranma Saotome –would become the new Guardian of Time. In order to leave this hell hole and save Chibi Usa, she would have to accept the mantle of Pluto. As a temporary gag it had okay. Even fun. But as a permanent post to span a few thousand years, give or take? But then the other side of the issue came forth into her considerations… As the Guardian of Time, she could make a huge difference beyond that of a martial artist. Combined with her innate skill, the power boost was simply enormous. Add on top of that three thousand years of wisdom, and she couldn't help but to consider the possibility._

_Maybe she could even avert the apocalypse._

_There really was no choice._

"_Execute protocol."_

_The Time Gates opened, bathing Ranma in a shaft of soft white light as they scanned their new keeper, finding the pure heart crystal within. The gates pulsed with power and began to transform the girl, causing her to float inside the bath of light, while her wild red hair drifted in the ethereal breeze. Lines of particle light began to drift off the martial artist, who was only aware of the energy coursing through her body. After a few minutes of alterations, the gates pulsed again and clad the redhead in the black and white fuku armor she knew all too well. Ranma floated down on light boots and watched as the time key emerged from the radiant gates, floating into her hand. Once in her grasp, the light faded, leaving a darkened doorway._

"_Reincarnation protocol complete." The gates confirmed. "Register new timegate administrator."_

"_Ranma Saotome."_

"_Confirmed." It replied. "Resetting all keys and protocols to Ranma Saotome, Princess of Pluto."_

_Ranma smiled mischievously, staring at the frilly heart shaped timekey in her grasp. This was the part she had been looking forward to. It was her little bit of payback to the dead Senshi, after having endured three thousand years of her lifetime. The heart-tipped staff was Setsuna's symbol, and now it was hers. The staff. The gate. Everything. The martial artist turned Senshi pulled her Staff of Ascension from weapons space with her free hand and grinned wildly as only Ranma Saotome could. _

"_Gate… fuse the keys."_

_

* * *

_

"So that 's all of it…" Ryoga commented in a hushed voice, and Ranma nodded. Across from the pair, Akane held her silence.

"I almost didn't even come back…" Ranma explained in low voice. "So much has changed. Almost too much." She looked over at Akane, whose eyes were boring a hole into the roof they sat atop. "I was hoping you would understand more than anybody."

The youngest Tendo opened her mouth and closed it, gathering her thoughts. It was another minute before she made the next attempt. "I just don't know… I lost something at the funeral, and now here you are… Part of me wants to grab hold of that missing part of me tight and never let go… The other just wants to move on." She took a deep breath, collecting herself before continuing. "To know you don't even want to be a guy again… Not simply can't but _won't_… it feels like a rejection from the one person…"

Ranma put a soft hand onto Akane's shoulder as tears threatened to overtake the girl. "Not rejection, Akane, just the way of things." Then she paused with a smile. "Besides, you don't know what perverted is until you've met Setsuna Meiou…"

Akane tried her best to stifle her own smile, but failed miserably. "You mean all three thousand years her?"

"Up close and personal." Ranma chuckled. "Hell, it's probably your fault I'm like this now, with all that name calling…"

"MY FAULT?" Akane blustered with mock indignation. "You were a pervert long before me."

"Oh, please." Ranma rolled her eyes. "You were the one who wanted to see me nude in the tub." An evil grin cross spread across her face. "Of course, I'd be happy to arrange--"

_Smack!_

_Bonk!_

"Pervert." Akane and Ryoga managed simultaneously, leaving Ranma to clutch her head in pain.

"Hmmf." Ranma sniffed indignantly. "You violent maniacs still can't take a joke. Besides, it's not as if I'm not already taken."

"Not already…?"

"…Taken?"

Akane and Ryoga finished their own thoughts, and stared at Ranma as if she had grown a second, third and forth head. It was a look Ranma was getting quite used to. Akane shook her head, rubbing her temples while Ryoga twitched a couple of times. "Do we even want to know?"

Ranma considered Akane and her question for a moment before smiling mischievously. "Probably not. I'll save that one for later on this after noon."

"So you can lay waste to your parent's reality as they know it?" Ryoga commented, to which Ranma smiled.

"Sounds like a plan to me." Something caught Ranma's attention and she peered down the roof and over to the Tendo gates as they swung open, revealing a middle aged woman with chestnut hair, cradling a katana. "Speaking of which, Mom's here…"

Akane sighed. "Daddy will be back soon too."

Ryoga shook his head, knowing the inevitable conclusion to all the trouble that was being stirred up. "Let the games begin," he muttered as they all hopped off the rooftop together.

* * *

"Gack!" Many would have mistaken that sound for a migratory water fowl or some small, rodent, though they would have been wrong. It was, in fact, the sound of Ranma Saotome, Senshi of Pluto and Guardian of Time being crushed yet again by a well meaning, but potentially lethal welcome back from the dead hug. This one had been delivered at the hands of Nodoka Saotome, who was throttling her son with every bit the enthusiasm as her husband, if not more. 

The scene was witnessed by Genma and Soun, who were now whispering quietly in the corner. Ranma noted them casting conspiratorial looks her way and mentally smiled, even as her skeletal structure was brutally crushed yet again. It was so pathetically obvious, that she couldn't help _but_ to smile.

"Oh, my manly son is alive!" Nodoka gushed. "Where have you been! We were so worried about you! Are you hurt? OOhhh, it's so good to see you!"

Ranma smiled warmly, finally able to extract herself from her mother's embrace. "I'm fine, Mom, just fine."

"So it would appear, Son in law." The gravelly female voice didn't even surprise Ranma, and she turned around to find Cologne in the hallway, Shampoo and Mousse in tow. Shampoo was dressed in her finest lavender silks and practically jumping out of her skin while Mousse was all white robe and coke bottle glasses. With Ranma returned from the dead, his grumpy expression was, well, understandable.

"Shampoo too-too happy to see Ranma!" The purple haired girl bounded forward, illiciting yet and other "gack!" from the redhead, who had only just recovered from the last. "Shampoo finally be rid of stupid lost boy engagement!"

Ranma's eyes widened, and she homed in on Ryoga, who was now glowering in the corner and Akane was once again snickering. "Engagement, Ryoga?"

"Uh… Um…" The Lost Boy floundered.

"Kiss of Marrige?" Ranma smiled as well, and he visibly deflated.

"Yah."

"BWAHAHAHHahahahhAHAHAh!" The redhead doubled over in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Usa and Ukyo had been right… She wouldn't have missed this for the world.

"Oh, that isn't the best part," Akane pointed out from the side lines, snickering. "Somehow- and I'm _still_ not sure how -he managed to inherit nearly every one of your old fiancées. Nuka. Makato. Heck, even Arisa is chasing him these days."

"Damn you, Saotome…" Ryoga grumbled, grinding his fangs down. "I've--"

"--seen hell because of you, yeah yeah." Ranma rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I'll make it up to you by taking you to lunch at the Poisson Rokusaburo."

"The Poisson…?" Nabiki breathed from her post on the stairwell. "That's about out of your price range Saotome." Of course it was. Had to be. The Poisson Rokusaburo was only the home to one of the most expensive five star restaurants in Tokyo. Rokusaburo Michiba was only one of the best chef in Japan. Only.

"I don't want lunch!" Ryoga bolted upright, lerching forward. "I want you to take your damn fiancées back!"

"And I already told you, I'm already taken." Ranma replied in a matter of fact tone, waving Ryoga's desperate plea aside. All eyes came to bear on the redhead with that statement, and Nodoka Saotome positively glowed.

"I knew my honorable son wouldn't neglect his manly duties to Akane." She smiled with absolute pride, and the Tendo in question watched the neutral mask fall once again over Ranma's features. While this wasn't going to be pretty, it was going to be memorable, of that Akane was certain.

Soun and Genma high-fived one another and cheered for the joining of the schools while Shampoo protest vehemently from Ranma's arm. Cologne's piercing stare provided back up and the cloak of distant mysticism only thicken around Ranma in response. Akane watched as whatever was left of her former fiancée melt away while the group continued to celebrate and argue, and it was only then were the full effects of Ranma's changes revealed to her. The difference was literally night and day.

"The schools may be joined, but not through me." Ranma's quiet voice cut through the din, halting all conversation instantly.

"Aiyaaah! Ranma choose Shampoo!" The Amazon squealed, reestablishing her glomp on the redhead. Her grip closed in and garnered nothing but empty air. Shampoo blinked, finding Ranma repositioned in an empty corner of the room, peaceful amusement trickling from her aura. "Amazon glomp never miss. How Ranma do that?"

"Never mind that!" Genma blustered and step toward the redhead. "The only person you're taken by--"

"--Is me." Ranma smiled. It was an absolutely wicked smile. Akane was sure Ranma had left the body that now stood patiently in the corner. She followed her gaze to the hallway where Kasumi stood with the room's newest guest. She was tall, had long streamers of pink hair and wore a long black evening dress. If not for her slight figure and facial features, she would have easily called her Kodachi's sister, given the attire. Then another thought pierced her observations… Ranma… and her! The... the… PERVERT!

The woman strode confidently through the crowd of family and friends to Ranma's side, where the two flowed into a suggestive embrace that prompted Kasumi to whisper a low "Oh my."

"Son, I am waiting for an explanation." Nodoka's tone chilled to sub zero temperatures, and she begand to thumb the hilt of the family blade like a nervous twitch… or a rattle snake.

"The explanation is simple, and I'm only going to explain it once." Ranma strode forward, glaring at each of the offending parties. "My manhood died six months ago. Born in its place is me."

"Your honor--!" Soun reached for the biggest emotional lever he could grasp, even as Genma attempted to do the same.

"--No, _your_ honor!" Ranma spun around hissing at the Tendo Patriarch. "Which one of my father's engagements am I honor bound to fulfill, hmmmm? Shall I fulfill his pledge to you and stain my own honor by breaking the others?" Soun opened his mouth to speak, only to have his words cut down once more. "No. My honor is my own now and your family promises died six months ago with me." Usa found a seat and sat back, watching the confrontation with a bemused expression on her face. Even as she did, her hand remained in contact with Ranma's at all times. The gesture was obvious.

"There's still hope, old friend," he glanced at Soun, who nodded. "The curse isn't locked yet… NOW!"

_Splash! _

_SpAloosh!_

_SPliioosh!_

Three kettles of hot water hit Ranma simultaneously, causing Genma, Nabiki and Cologne to look at one another and shrug. Akane stood aghast as Ranma took his male form and stood deathly still in it. Whatever emotion wasn't showing on the long, black haired martial artist's face, played across his pink haired partner's easily. She wasn't happy. At all.

After a minute of stillness, Ranma took a deep breath yet maintained eye contact with the ground. "Kasumi…?" The eldest Tendo nodded and disappeared quickly into the kitchen. Ranma took another breath. "I am _not_ pleased." The crack of static electricity accompanied his words, and the occupants of the house looked on in horror as Usa rose to her full height, black lightening crackling in her hands. "I am not comfortable in this body anymore and the next person who does that again will more than likely take a black lightning bolt where the sun doesn't shine."

Nodoka pulled herself together from the shock, retutning to her domineering matricarch persona. "That's not a very manly thing to say. Now you'll stay a boy until--"

Kasumi returned and handed the glass to Ranma without question, and he nodded his thanks before promptly upturning it over his head. The boy vanished, replaced by the curvy readhead who was now re adjusting her sports bra. She cast a questioning look at her mother, cocking her head. "You were saying?" Nodoka's frown turned downright chilling. "Three thousand years of memories and several millennia of sexual conquest as a woman will do that to you, Mom."

Nodoka Saotome's mouth opened, but nothing came out. She tried again. "Three thousand…?"

"Yeah. I keep telling you, it's all changed." Ranma explained softly as his mother's expression cracked. "I have an obligation now and the world isn't going to save itself. This is what I've been given to finish the task I started six months ago."

"But I thought… You already saved…" Her mother stuttered through the explanation, trying to make sense of her son's words, who merely shook her head.

"No. That was just the tip of the iceberg." Ranma frowned. "There's a big storm coming, Mom and I-- we," She pulled Usa close to her, who had sense settled down. "Either stand against the apocalypse or nearly everybody dies. I can't allow that, even if it means not being your manly---"

"MY SON IS SO MANLY!"

"Gack!" The redhead instantly found herself in the tight embrace of her mother once more as she attempted to squeeze the life out of Ranma. "Even as a woman my son is going to save the world again!" She withdrew and considered the prospect in more detail. "And with three thousand years of intimate experience, that makes my daughter a woman among women too!"

Ranma blinked and Usa leaned into Ranma's ear. "That's exactly what I was thinking last night…"

"I don't care if the world is going to fall apart!" Genma stepped forward, another teapot in hand. 'You can do it as our son and join the schools at the same time!" With that proclamation, the kettle was airborn.

It never reached its target.

"Dead Scream."

The room flashed pink and a magical pink burst of power consumed the kettle, flying up at a forty five degree angle where it disappeared into the blue sky. The attendees stared at the perfect circular hole carved through the ceiling as the tiny pink dot faded from sight. Their eyes then fell, finding Ranma in a white on black fuku wielding the modified staff of ascension.

_BZZZZZzzzzAAAP!_

"YowwwWW!"

Everybody turned to Usa who was once again crackling with black lightining… and now so was Genma Saotome, who lay on the ground in a smoldering heap, twitching. Ranma smiled mischievously at Usa, who curtsied for Ranma in turn. The redhead then turned her attention to Cologne.

"I trust I've made myself perfectly clear?" She leaned forward with menace and Cologne simply smiled. The elder could only suspect which Senshi Ranma had become, but suspecting was enough. There was no way she was about to tangle with the persona that had broken her tribe over a millennia ago.

"Are you sure I can't convince you to take Mousse?" The Amazon boy sputtered and backed against the far wall. "Since it would seem your gender preference is quite clear."

"She'll have her hands full with me." Usa replied for Ranma, snuggling closer to the Senshi of Pluto.

"I… see…" Cologne blinked. Such relations within the Amazon were not unfamiliar, but coming from the young Saotome was…

"I must say, as manly as you are, this particular development is quite disturbing." Nodoka commented, fingering her lip.

"Tell me about it," Akane agreed, staring at the pair in disbelief. It was a sentiment mirrored by the remaining family members.

Half an hour found Usa and Ranma on the Tendo rooftop, staring at the bright orange sunset. All in all, it had gone much better for Ranma Saotome, Guardian of Time and the Last Princess of Pluto… After all, any event that ended with her father getting zapped three more times by angry black lightning was a success in her book. She would be sure to visit them all every now and then, but for now, destiny called her, and demanded her undivided attention.

Usa stood up and into the rays of orange-red light, pulling Ranma up with her entwined hand. "Shall we save the world, my love?" Ranma smiled, totally at peace with her decision. This was why she had sacrificed so much and she had long since known there was no turning back. She nodded.

"This time, we _will_." She gave Usa's hand a squeeze. "After all, we can't leave the world in the hands of fuck-ups like NERV again."

_**End.**_

**

* * *

Omake by Yarrow--**

"But Crystal Tokyo looked like such a beautiful place," mourned Usagi, "are you sure there's no way to bring it about without people dying?"

Ranma thought for a moment, then smiled at the sad girl. "Don't worry. I'll see to it that there is a Crystal Tokyo in the future, and no one will have to die."

_--- 100 years later---_

Usagi stared at the towering crystal structures before her and listened to the gleeful laughter of children. It was so beautiful, and everyone was so happy.

"So, what do you think?" asked Ranma.

"It's not what I was expecting at all," gasped Usagi, "but it looks like an incredible place!"

"It is. Would you like to go in?"

"Can we?" asked an excited Usagi.

Ranma nodded and placed a scintillating crystal disk on a cord around the other woman's "You can go in now."

That was all Usagi needed, and grabbing Ranma by the hand, cheered and ran through the turnstile to join the crowds of excited people filling the crystal streets. "I want to go on all the rides! And get Crystal Candy! And get my picture taken with ... Queen Serenity!"

Ranma smirked and said, "Hey, it's part of the 'magic'. Now, stop standing there with your mouth open; if you want to do all that today, you'll have to hurry. Crystal Tokyo closes at midnight, you know."

* * *

**Author's Notes;**

This epilogue is an alternate timeline. Why? Because I liked the idea so darn much that I had to do it, simple :P Which one, therefore, is considered the real ending? You pick. I'm just having fun writing for all yas.

More details in the series ANs.


	11. Series End

**End Series Notes**  
Roll closing credits to _Baba O'Riley_ – The Who

* * *

_**T**he Best of Times originally started out as two aborted attempts at fukufic's original request. With these, I never got more than a few pages in before realizing just how derivative they were, especially after I started checking out the Ranma-Sm Xover scene in depth. First we started out with Standard Fuku Plot #2: Ranma loses memory, fights for love, justice and angst. Second came SFP #6: Ranma meets Setsuna, falls for time bitch therapy session._

_See? The originality was just pouring from them._

_So we tabled them both and went for the prank war, which I'm proud to say you've all made wildly successful. Thank you for the 75K+ ffnet hit traffic, 650+ reviews, 20 c2s, 193 alerts, 203 favs and crashing my homepage by exceeding its 5gb traffic limit. You people rock._

_**I**t should also be noted that I couldn't have done this without a lot of support, or at least not nearly as well. While there are too many people to name, just pop into Fukufics irc. Those people are the series credits right there. Prior to this fic, my knowledge of Sailor Moon was absolutely zero. I am not exaggerating. Without the cast of fukufics (dotcom), this story would have been harder to write and several magnitudes less enjoyable. _

_And since you all rock so much, we're going out with a bang. Outlined below are the first two aborted attempts at this work, along with a preview of Ah My Ranma ½, which I'll be hitting hard now that this is out of the way. They're raw and unedited, but here it is._

_Enjoy._

_Disclaimer- This stuff is rough and incomplete for obvious reasons.

* * *

_

**End All Be All**  
By: Ozzallos  
_Aborted Fukufic Attempt, take one._

**Stage 01**

It was The Plan. The Perfect Plan. The Plan to End All Plans. Shampoo rolled the red capsules around between her fingers with a devious smile. Granted, it had taken a severe stomping of Pink and Link to gain their secrets, but the deed was done and the only thing that remained was its execution. She stared at her newly acquired implements of change. Contained therein was a soporific that when inhaled would dissolve the bonds of friendship within a person's very brain. Not simply dissolve, but annihilate. It would break down those tentative links in the mind, leaving nearly everything else intact. Sure there would be some side effects Shampoo realized, but they were now considered negligible compared to the gains. Among them were dry mouth, nausea and headaches… Oh, and the acute loss of minor details such as ones own name, birthplace and other minutia. For her immediate plan of action, it meant that Ranma would most likely forget her and possibly even his own name, but it was an acceptable risk when balanced with the potential gain of having a completely unbiased Ranma to shape and mold as her friend and eventual lover.

She counted the capsules again. Eight. There was a reason she had made the extras and it was because poisoning Ranma alone would be an exercise in futility. She was going to saturate the entire Tendo compound with the airborne agent in order to ensure nobody remembered or came looking for him after they had gone back to China. First the Tendos then that silly spatula girl. It was a much more elegant solution than Plan B. After all, the amount of bloodletting Plan B involved would undoubtedly attract the kind of attention that she and great grandmother were looking to avoid. Fun? Most definitely. Efficient? Sadly, no. Shampoo rolled the capsules around between her fingers once more before dropping them into a silk pouch.

It was time to kick ass and take memories.

By any measure it had been a good day for Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. Which is to say it had actually been a very _bad_ one. He had come to realize early on that any good day for him meant that there was a woeful imbalance of karma in the universe and that sooner or later his person would be used as the conduit to bring into balance in a most unpleasant manner. Akane was happy today, which was a bad sign. She had even been humming on their way to school, which by Ranma's standard was the herald to the four horsemen of the apocalypse. He had not been splashed once by cold water, which probably meant the seas would be overflowing with blood soon enough and Nabiki even gave him a pass today. Ranma was certain if he looked up into the sky he would not only find a total eclipse of the sun, but a burning two hundred mile wide meteor poised to smite all of mankind for its trespasses. Or maybe it was just all in his head. After all, it's only paranoia if nobody is out to get you.

He was almost relieved to find out Akane was cooking since Kasumi was on a date with Doc Tofu. Ranma would take his punishment like a man and karma would be brought back into alignment for nothing more than a stomachache and a week's worth of indigestion. It was a fair compromise in his opinion. Better him take the karma bullet than watch as all of civilization collapsed around him simply because he couldn't take Akane's cooking. Of course, sometimes it fought back harder than Ryoga, but then the life of a martial artist is fraught with peril, right?

A smiling Akane sat the dish down in front of him and Ranma knew he was in trouble. She had mentioned that she was making chow mein and what was on the plate actually _looked _like chow mein. His sense of dread grew exponentially at the realization that she had actually cooked something that bore a superficial resemblance to its namesake. All eyes were on him of course, being the official Tendo sacrificial lamb. He was their canary in the coalmine, because if he keeled over the food was toxic and not to be touched under any circumstances by the rest of the family. In fact, his fits of agony would probably provide them with the perfect distraction in order to escape the evil daughter's culinary masochism. Ranma steeled himself and took the first bite of noodles. His life flashed before his eyes and he knew it with certainty…

_They were all gonna die_.

It would be a sick and painful death, undoubtedly riddled with screaming torture and anguish. It would be suffering on a magnitude never before seen, unimaginable in its scope. And just how did Ranma Saotome know such a hideous fate awaited him? Quite easily, actually.

The food was _good_.

_AN- This scene was so good that I just had to reuse it in tBoT pt.2_

_CRUuuNCH!_

The wall caved easily and a purple haired SS shock trooper stepped through the improvised doorway and into the Tendo living room. It was almost a hilarious sight for them if it hadn't happened so suddenly and destructively. She was clad in her standard lavender silk attire with rich purple locks hanging around… A gas mask? The device was of World War Two vintage and its rubber and hosed molding contrast sharply with her usual dressed to kill ensemble. One hand held a single festively colored bonbori while the other a silk pouch.

The day's pressure coiled and snapped inside Ranma with instantly realization-- Karma had come home to roost. His body went to high alert and adrenaline poured wholesale through his body in response to the new threat. Normally Shampoo by herself wouldn't have warranted the DEFCON one reaction, but today had been a _good_ day and he somehow had identified the Amazon as the catalyst that would lead to the end of the world as he knew it. Ki discharged into his system and his battle aura snapped to life. Ranma was off the table and sliding into a combat stance before even being consciously aware of the fact. All of this happened within seconds and it gave Shampoo reason to pause. Did he know! She was less than a minute into the operation and it was already in jeopardy!

For his part, Ranma Saotome had no idea, but there was one thing he did know and it was that the karma sledge hammer was on its downward stroke. For everything else Ranma was, he was a genius. It didn't show in his grades. Or his social skills. But it did in battle and the tactical computer that was his brain snapped into place, immediately identifying the silk pouch as the greatest threat in the room. There was a reason the Amazon had forced an entry, just like there was a reason she sacrificed offensive power in favor of the pouch. There was no way of knowing what it contained, but it was important to drop a single bonbori from her normal pair _and_ don a freakin' gasmask. A small part of Ranma couldn't help but to noted the irony. He had been expecting the biological warfare threat from Akane's cooking tonight.

No turning back, Shampoo thought as she steeled herself for the engagement. All she did was have to get one solid hit and the cloud of spores would take care of the rest. Her fingers dug into pouch and drew the first red capsule. Her thumb flipped the capsule and it streaked into Ranma at high speed who realized two things at once—First, a gas mask meant an airborne threat. Second, the family was still at his back and vulnerable. Ranma took a quick step back and kicked the dinner table vertical with the back of his heel while hardening the battle aura around him. The red capsule scored a direct hit, but detonated off the aura instead of his body. A clouds of pink smoke erupted around him and Ranma flashed the aura, vaporizing the atmosphere in his immediate vicinity. The upturned table took the brunt of the flash and scorched the lamination, but kept the family safe.

"Shampoo, you don't--

"Shampoo have Airen, nobody else!" She declared and launched three more capsules simultaneously, each rebounding off his aura, bursting and flash vaporized within seconds. The Amazon scowled. Four more left and her odds of success were dropping with each one spent. Direct strikes against her Airen were out of the question, she realized. He would just keep vaporizing the clouds before they had a chance to infect anybody and she would lose. Not only would she lose, but they would remember who had made the hole in their wall and send the bill to the Neko Han Ten. Maybe even make her pay for the charred table that the rest of the family was hiding behind now. Not good. She would have to hope for proximity strikes then. She'd rather have direct impacts, but her last four capsules should saturate the room with enough spores to do the job against everybody at once. Shampoo's thumb flipped out again and the last four capsules shot out, each aimed at a different part of the room.

She didn't have a chance. Maybe if Ranma had been unprepared or otherwise distracted, the tactic would have worked. Today wasn't that day, if only because he had been expecting karmatic justice to rain from the sky to crush him at any moment. Ki fuel his next movements and his hands flew out at Chestnut Fist speeds to intercept the projectiles. None of the four capsules found their marks as they were snatched out of the air by Ranma's hands and buffered by his aura to prevent their detonation. Ranma took a moment to examine his red capsules before giving Shampoo a long look.

"Don't suppose you want to explain these, huh?"

Shampoo let the bambori fall to the ground in equal parts amazement and disgust. Her mask came off as well. The perfect plan had failed! How? How had he know? She fell to her knees and began to sob. There were few things that could have cracked Ranma's armor at that point. His body was ki fortified. His reflexes were lightening enhanced. He had the offensive firepower of a battalion of tanks. But one thing he didn't have was the stomach to watch a girl suffer a total mental breakdown in front of him, especially one he considered a friend. …Well, most of the time, at least.

"Aw, come on! Don't do that!" Ranma complained and walked over to tearful Amazon. Besides, it wasn't as if she was a threat any longer. If the karmatic sledgehammer was still out there, it wouldn't be coming from Shampoo.

"WHAT ARE DOING!" Akane raged, popping her head up from behind the charred table. She stood up and stomped over to Ranma. "She almost killed us!"

"Look, Akane—"

"Don't 'look Akane' me!" She yelled, her rage building in fine form. "She just tried to assassinate me and here you are playing kiss and make-up!" Ranma's eyes widened as she pulled a familiar shape from behind her back.

"Can you give it a rest for once, Tomboy!" Ranma gasped. He had too much stress, adrenalin and crisis to deal with for one day to even think about checking the more inflammatory words in his vocabulary.

"BAKA PERVERT!"

_WHAaaM!_

With a mighty swing of her mallet-- the very instrument of the Universe's karmatic justice – Ranma was 'go' for liftoff.

**Stage 02**

Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts found his ballistic arc across the Tokyo skyline rudely interrupted by the ground as he proceeded to turn a nice fifteen-foot patch of grassy park into cratered rubble. The sudden plume of dirt and rock had been expected as he braced for impact, maxing out his ki buffering abilities for the sudden stop. What hadn't been expected was the pink fog that erupted with the plume and Ranma choked on both as he struggled to come to his senses. He climbed out of his six-foot deep crater hacking and spitting dirt while a wave of nausea rippled through his body.

Damn, she musta hit me harder than I thought, Ranma thought, finally stepping out on to undisturbed park grass. Wait… She? He struggled to put a name to the memory fragment without success. Another wave of nausea dizzied him. 'She' was how I got here… But how…? Ranma found himself staring at his hands for some reason, watching pieces of four red capsule shells drift away with the evening breeze. That should mean something to me, he thought. How had he gotten here again? A few drops of rain began to patter her and there as he brooded over his fate.

A scream pierced the evening air followed by an unnatural howl. Suddenly the memories took a back seat to the here and now as Ranma's pushed his aura back up through the exaustion. God, I'm tired… A crash echoed across the park and he fought off the darkeness that tried to claim him. He had stumbled to a sidewalk and saw it… The 'It' in question had a slimy pinkish skin and looked vaguely humanoid; Almost like a human female if one were feeling generous with the descriptive. Its arms ended in long foot long razor fingertips and it was using them with startling efficiency, cutting down victims left and right. Another scream cried out but this one was much younger than the others. She couldn't have been more than eight years old. Blackness threatened to claim Ranma again as he watched the pink un-woman lock on to the girl cowering in the park bushes. The beast lumbered over to her and it triggered the one thing Ranma Saotome could remember even as his memories faded from the world—The first duty of a martial artist was to protect those unable to protect themselves.

The price was non-negotiable.

"_Kijin Raishü Dan !"_

The beast suddenly found its groping arm cleaved into a stump as two vacuum blades sliced through the pink appendage that sought out the terrified girl. It wasn't so much pain than shock that cause the female parody to turn away from its intended victim and over to the newcomer. The youma's primitive brain comprehended only two things as it assessed the new threat. First, it was dangerous and thus a priority. Second, it had exactly what the master required. The creature began its stumbling charge and was greeted by a Moko Takabisha , pink bits of flesh burning away from its demonic frame. It staggered, but continued to advance…

Ranma dodge the remaining arm and went hand to hand. Even if his reaction times left something to be desired, he was moving on instinct alone and it kept him one step ahead of the aggressor as he opened up its guard and unleashed a pulverizing combo into the youma's torso. He could feel the hate roil from its being and something clicked. It wasn't heated ki, but it was close enough to satisfy The Dragon. Ranma took a step back to set up the spiral and was treated to another crushing wave of nausea while more of his brain shut down. His guard faltered and the remaining claw plowed in, snapping around his head like a vice. Ranma could feel it sucking down the ki through a link the monster had established. He had once chance. The martial artist activated the Soul of Ice and concentrated the technique into his fist with his last remaining seconds.

"_Hiryu Hyu-Toppa !"_

The whirlwind unleashed.

Then darkness.

Cold.

A sliver of awareness penetrated the darkness as it registered the light concussive patter of rain on the body it was only now dimly aware of. More strands of awareness joined the first more and more complex information began to circulate, such as pain. Pain in every muscle and every bone. A throbbing pain in her head and another in her chest. She cracked an eye open, only to have a droplet run down into it, causing her to blink furiously. She tested her muscles and joints on reflex and was rewarded with pain. Yes it was painful, but everything appeared to be working. Why would she be in pain? She forced both eyes open this time, noticing her view of the world consisting of grass and dirt. A shiver ran down her spine and her limbs wearily obeyed her bidding, propping her up off the cold, wet earth. The blur that was her vision began to clear and she tried to take stock of the situation, even as a migraine racked her brain.

Okay, so it's a park, she thought and scanned her surroundings. Well it feels familiar, but what am I doing here? She plumbed the depths of her brain for the information and found it sorely lacking in its ability to cooperate. The questions beginning with Who, Where and Why also came up empty, and it wasn't long before she began to expand that list of just how much she _didn't_ know. For instance, she knew she was a consummate martial artist but had no idea of who trained her or where that training took place. She could cook. Liked to cook even. Who she actually cooked for was a bit beyond her grasp at the moment. Where was she born? No idea.

My memory is Swiss cheese and all I got to show for it is this massive headache, she complained internally. Hell, I don't even know what my name is. Somehow it was more annoying than anything else and she pushed herself off the wet grass and to her feet. That was when she saw the corpses and the disintegrated remains of the pink youma. I had something to do with that, she realized somewhat calmly. From her view it was obvious that the attack had not only ripped clean through the monster, but a semi truck and the trees beyond, leaving a carved circular pathway through them.

* * *

ANs- _Rejected. I thought by combining so many well use plot concepts together I'd be able to create an original, chaotic read. I'm sure it would have been a good read in retrospect, but not a great one, let alone gain tBoTs stature. The mood is also considerably darker for this fic, which was intentional. I normally do comedies and was purposely aiming for a higher degree of angst this time around. Alas, I already have another fic to fill that role handily.

* * *

_

So next we came up with….

**Just Droppin' In**  
By Ozzallos  
_Aborted Fukufic Attempt, take two._

**Ichi**

"_ARE YOU SAYING MY COOKING SUCKS!"_

Akane was in total meltdown mode now, her favorite hobby having been slighted by yet another poor choice of words on the part of her fiancé. She took a menacing step forward, soupspoon in hand. Why she was wielding a soupspoon at the moment was beyond the comprehension of her current audience since there was nothing spoonable about their meal. That, and they were pretty sure it was burning a hole in their plates, though nobody had been brave enough to point out the fact… Well, nobody but Ranma, God rest his soul. They'd hold his funeral later. After they escaped the evil clutches of one Akane Tendo. Maybe.

"Calm down, Akane! I didn't say it sucks!" Ranma protested, taking a step back. No, it rates much worse than suckage, he thought. His fiancées face suddenly bright red and an angry crimson aura began to flicker around her. Ranma looked over to the rest of the family who all wore masks of abject horror now. He looked back at Akane and small nuclear reactions were flaring in her eyes. Realization finally hit him.

"I just said that last part aloud, didn't I?"

The rest of the family nodded once in unison. The soupspoon snapped in Akane's hand and the other began to pull something out from behind her back. This time it wasn't a mallet, but an honest to God Dwarven War Hammer. Ranma sighed in resignation. Yep, time to take my medicine. He leaned forward with his left cheek and she swung for the fences.

"_**RANMA NO BAKAAAA !"**_

**Ni**

_30mph._

Ranma accelerate sharply through the roof's newest hole and out into open air with a painful crack. Even as he gained altitude, rain drops began to sting against the martial artist's face and seconds later activated his curse. The world was blurring by as the chiseled pigtail boy became a shapely pigtail girl who absently wondered where she would land this time.

_53 mph._

Damn she put a lot of power to that last hit, Ranma mused as more rain streaked by. And where the hell had she gotten that hammer! Don't you need a license for those things or something? She stabilized her uncontrolled tumble with a little influence of ki and absently noted that he was quickly approaching the overcast ceiling. Nothing to worry about there, she thought. The arc should be flattening out any time now.

_71 mph._

Contrails begin to streak off the redhead and she marveled. Akane will be happy to hear that she's setting a new distance malleting record. Hell, I'm clearing the Nermia suburbs right now, Ranma thought darkly. One thing was for certain though… It was going to be a long walk home.

_88 mph._

Ranma felt a tingle along her spine as the ballistic arc began to flatten out. Give me a few more seconds and I'll be able to predict my landing zone, she thought, failing to notice her hair beginning to stand on end. May take two days to get back at this—

ZAP! **_CRAaaACK!_**

Some people would argue that Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts was a lucky guy. After all, what manly man wouldn't want three to twenty fiancées throwing themselves at your feet at any given moment or jump your bones if you so much as look at them wrong? These people, of course failed to notice the details and the devil therein. Drugged food. Rivals. Kidnappings. Extortion. Villains of the Week. Malletings. And of course the lightening bolt that Ranma had just flown into.

1.21 gigawatts of power blasted through the martial artist's body and light flared around him. A loud yip was heard as the bolt interacted with his unusually high levels of ki, which promptly vaporized him in a tempest of chaotic energy. By the time the lightening had spent itself there was nothing was left of Ranma but two flaming shoes falling from the sky.

Sailor Pluto stared at the Gates of Time and affected a labored sigh. It was one of those days, days where she felt as if her all-important station in life was nothing more than that of a glorified data entry clerk. Get up, check the time gates, maximize the probabilities, make some tweaks and go home. It wouldn't be so bad if the job were nine to five, but sometimes her 'shift' would stretch for decades on end as she plotted the surest path to Crystal Tokyo. Of course she had some conveniences in her own private section of hell, but there was one thing she could never escape and it dug into her soul.

Loneliness.

Loneliness that was staggering in its magnitude.

The woman with flowing green hair used the gate key that was her staff and exerted control, switching to another possible reality. All things considered, it was actually a good day for Sailor Pluto. She was at a ninety-five percent probability for Crystal Tokyo's existence and all was quiet on the western front. No Generals. No youma. No daimons stealing crystal hearts. Sure, that would all change in about a month or so, but the girls had earned some rest, herself included.

She was about to alter the gate's view once more when it fuzzed with static. Sailor Pluto squinted into the gate. A malfunction? Impossible! She could see through the interference, but the fact that there was any at all was quite disturbing.

_Thmp! Thmp! **CRACK!**_

Light flashed around her as two dull pressure waves hit, followed immediately by a concussive shock. She flinched and an angry vortex of energy snarled about the gate, disgorging a human figure that went skidding violently across the surface of her part-time prison. The vortex collapsed in upon itself with a small pop! and Pluto was left stunned. She brought the key to bear on what appeared to be a young man whose clothing was smoldering and singed. The boy shook his head and pushed himself into a sitting position.

"Uuuhh… My head…"

Sailor Pluto blinked with surprise and completely for got the standard verbal challenge she would have normally issued. Instead, she opted for something much simpler.

"WHO THE _HELL_ ARE YOU?"

The stranger turned his head, noticing her for the first time and blushed slightly. He stood up wobbly and shook another round of dizziness off.

"Um, I'm Ranma Saotome… Sorry' bout this."

**San**

Ranma waited for the fog to clear from his vision and found himself staring at cute, yet very pissed green haired woman. While there was no doubt as to her attractiveness thanks in no small part to the tiny white and black fuku she wore, that very same fuku looked absolutely ridiculous in his humble opinion. Scratch that, he amended silenly as his eyes were unwillingly drawn up her long, shapely legs. Who am I to complain about her costume?

The woman waved her staff menacingly in his general direction, anger contorting her features. "Look, I want answers and I want them NOW."

The martial artist scratched his head in embarrassment. "Jeez, I don't know… One moment I'm flying above Tokyo and the next I'm here."

Sailor Pluto was practically dancing with fusteration now. "You expect me to believe that POOF you just decided to drop by?"

"Wasn't my choice…" Ranma shrugged then mumbled something about a stupid tomboy.

"Did you just call me a tomboy?"

Ranma slapped himself upside the head. "NoNoNoNo… The person who sent me here. 'Cides… Nobody could confuse _you _for a tomboy." After all, tomboys would NEVER wear something like THAT.

Sailor Pluto flushed a bit before regaining her composure. So somebody HAD sent him here! Well let's just find out who that person is… "So _who_ sent you again?"

"Akane." The pigtailed boy stated flatly. A very sour look crossed his face.

No love lost there, she realized. If he's on a secret mission, maybe I can drive a wedge in their organization and find out why they're trying to infiltrate the gates… "And this Akane is…?"

"Violent." Ranma snorted. "She'll kill me just as soon poison me. Hell, I'd probably be beaten just for talking to you."

Sailor Pluto studied the boy, but allowed her staff to waver. Not exactly the typical happy henchman, is he? Of course, being beaten, poisoned and killed didn't exactly endear one to long term employment. This Akane sounds ruthless enough. A new threat to Crystal Tokyo, then?

* * *

ANs- _Rejected. Again, it could have been a nice, WAFFy love story, but there wasn't enough IMO to really separate it from the rest of the fics already out there. Obviously comedy was the primary focus here_.

* * *

_Yeah, the prank war was a much better choice. After I had written the first two up, I had resolved to create a plot with as much chaos falling out upon Ranma as possible, even to the extent of more curses. One idea (that never moved beyond that stage) was to give Ranma so many curses that the last one he picked up would some how link all the others in harmony and benefit him immensily... After a liberal amount of suffering. Yet another stepping stone to tBoT. Eventially the general frame work for tBoT came into exitance and there were certain elements I was going to insist upon. It would remain somewhat canon. There would be a prank war, but not one that desended into outright death and destruction like too many other fics. Ranma would wear a fuku, but not become be a reincarnated anything, let alone a real sailor (let's count the number of reviews I received on THAT topic). Likewise, Ranma's powers would scale (I don't like uber Ranma, even when making her a Goddess one-one). _

_People will be somewhat sorry to hear that a Setsuna romance was planned from keystroke one, and I can't even begin to take credit for one of the series funniest running jokes; that being Chibi and her incessant laughter at future events. Details like the Staff of Ascension came on the fly in trying to decide which of Saffron's staves to actually use. (duh, let's fuse 'em together!). There was also a definite ending to this series- Epilogue X1. While there was a number of people who really wanted to see the prank war continue, I just couldn't keep it up indefinitely. There would only be so much escalation before pranks became either boring or downright hostile in nature. That, and I like going places with my fics, not kite them indefinitely. _

_Finally, Epilogue X2 was decided at the last moment simply because turning Ranma's brain inside out with Setsuna's memories was just so darn attractive and the key scene could have gone either way. Rather than write an entirely new fic (uhg, got too many of THOSE already), I thought a branching reality would be pretty cool. It wasn't long before I was writing myself into a paradox… We were killing off Pluto before she brought Chibi back, who has a complete set of memories concerning her timeline. Again, I had several of the fine people at fukufics to bounce ideas off of and came to (what I think) was one of the more workable solutions available._

_I probably left out a lot of details, but hopefully the chapter ANs fill in the gaps. _

_Now, the preview of AMR ½ Part 5.

* * *

_

**Oh My Ranma ½!  
No Need for Wishes!**  
Started: 05Aug05

**Forward:** _The Tenchi universe has no less than three alternate timelines to choose from, so be advised I'm going to play fast and loose all of them from here on out. Don't expect strict adherence to any one since you can't make everybody happy all the time. I'll make every attempt to keep the core plot surrounding Tenchi intact, however._

**Chapter 4**

Ranma popped out of the lake with ease and floated lightly onto the property of the Masaki shrine. It really was a beautifully place, she decided. Secluded on a nice hillside with the house and lake below, surrounded by forest. You could get used to it, she thought agreeably and popped her head into one of the structures.

"Anybody home?"

Tenchi Masaki scampered across the wooden floor he had been sweeping with a small start, but recovered his wits when he recognized Ranma. The student gave the floor another swipe and wiped the sweat from his brow. He noticed she was in her casual Chinese attire and Tenchi smiled at the Goddess as she stepped closer.

"So what's up, Tenchi?"

"I don't think that wish thing worked. Not that I need it I guess," He added hastily, "But it would be a shame after all the trouble I put you through."

Ranma shrugged. "Well that's why I'm here. To make sure it _does_ work." …And that you don't get abducted by aliens or something, she amended as an afterthought.

"Really?" Tenchi seemed taken back. "I mean, I don't want to keep you from something important, you know."

Well I'd love to do that, she thought sarcastically, but you had to go and wish that stupid— She stopped her train of thought short and began to examine her attitude very carefully.

This _was_ her job. Granting wishes. It _was_ important. A matter of _honor _even, if she wanted to put it into a martial arts context. Maybe things hadn't turned out the way she would like them to, but it was still her job to make sure it turned out right. Quit yer whining Ranma, she rebuked herself. You knew full well what you were getting into when you signed on the dotted line with kami-sama. This was the sacrifice He was talking about. This was the servant's duty Urd had explained. If you can't perform these duties with the same honor as The Art, you probably shouldn't be teaching it either!

Mentally redressed, Ranma favored Tenchi with her trademark roguish grin.

"Hey, don't worry 'bout it. I'll just stick around here with you and see what we can dig up, kay?" …And _still_ make sure you don't get abducted my space aliens, she smiled quietly. Tenchi nodded with enthusiasm. "So where's your grandfather, anyway?"

"Probably on the other side of the lake…" Tenchi replied, setting aside the broom. Even as he finished, the mischievous gleam of realization gleamed in his eyes. "And that means now's my chance!" Ranma looked at him curiously as he ran over to the desk and began rifling through its contents.

Ranma bent over beside him as he flipped through another folder. "Whatcha looking for?"

He paused momentarily. "Keys. I'm going to finally see what we've been keeping in that old shrine."

"And what's supposed to be in there?"

"A demon slaying blade!" Tenchi replied, pulling open another drawer. "Gramps keeps going on about this old legend about how an ancient warrior named Yosho defeated a demon that could destroy mountains with the thing."

The Goddess of Luck watched him hurry through his search and weighed her options. She could either sit around and watch him do chores all day, waiting for some alien to come along and marry him _or_… She smiled mischeviously. "What do ya need a key for?" Tenchi paused in his search. "I _am_ a Goddess after all."

Tenchi's eyes widened momentarily before the implication set it "Alright! Let's go then!" Tenchi quickly abandoned his chores and the two vacated the room with haste.

Less than ten minutes later Katsuhito Masaki stood in the doorway of the empty room, finding his charge noticeably absent from his duties. He stroked his bearded white chin, absently wondering where he had ran off to. The grandfather knew it wouldn't be the temple since he had the keys, so Tenchi was probably off taking a break somewhere. Suspicions mollified for the moment, Katsuhito went to kitchen to grab a snack.

Ranma watched Tenchi yank the sword out of the ancient shrine with some curiosity. He flipped it around they both examined it carefully. Definitely not a katana, Ranma decided. The strait lines of the scabbard and the oddly designed hilt were evidence enough of that. While the Anything Goes School didn't necessarily emphasis the use of edged weaponry, it didn't neglect it either. The student growled with strain as he attempted to pull the scabbard free. Wasn't Chinese either, she realized. Infact, the entire hilt design was much too exotic to be—The blade finally snapped free and in Tenchi's hands rested the weapon that once slew mighty demons. Both teens frowned.

"Your sword's a piece of junk, Tenchi." The dejected Goddess commented upon seeing the rust eaten stick of metal that was once a blade.

Tenchi wasn't exactly happy either. "Give me a break… This thing is supposed to cut through rock?" He gave it a careless slice and shattered the ancient blade across one of the warding stones, which promptly split clean in two. Ranma only had a moment to be surprised when a small pebble bounced off her head and the entire cave began to rumble. She looked up in time to find a huge boulder in freefall. A quick sidestep saw the stone imbed itself into the earth beside her and she twitched visibly at the thought of becoming a Saotome pancake.

Tenchi abandoned the stone he was attempting to piece back together just as the boulder slammed home. Both looked at one another, then the now broken sword in his hand. A light breeze brushed by them and Ranma's brush with death was forgotten as they sought the source, a wide fissure in the far cave wall that definitely hadn't been there before. The redhead shrugged and Tenchi squeezed through, Ranma following close behind. The only illumination came from a shaft of light that had somehow managed to piece the cave's ceiling, but it wasn't enough to see the standing water the boy promptly stepped in. Or the stalactite that jumped in front of his forehead. Or the slippery section of the finely machined incline he now tried to stand upright on, with little success. The hilt of the ruined sword clattered into the pit as he flailed wildly to maintain his balance, grabbing on to the first object within reach.

Unfortunately that just happened to be Ranma's arm and the two hit the ground, sliding wildly down the dark shaft where they were deposited a hundred feet later in a most compromising position. It would have been a great position had they been lovers. Urd would have approved. Maybe even watched. Tenchi covered the redhead like a blanket and there was no body part not left touching one another. The pair's eyes were locked on to one another as both faces began to progress through multiple shades of pink. Tenchi, being the passive sort simply laid their in shock on top of her while Ranma was still trying to decide exactly why she was letting him do so. The Boy part of her psyche voted to snap his neck. The girl, Ranma noted with some surprise was a bit of a hentai. She voted in favor of pulling the handsome student into something more than just a kiss. The goddess winced and ruthlessly suppressed her before settling for something diplomatic, yet to the point.

"Get off me before I snap yer neck."

_I know it sucks to give you 1kW worth of text when there is 7k's worth here in my hot little hands, but them's the breaks. Catch ya later, and again, my thanks for making this work what is today

* * *

_

**_-The Best of Times-_**

**By Ozzallos**

**A Fukufics** (dotcom) **Production**

**_Camera One_: A**lathon

**_Camera Two_: C**yber Skaarj

**_Sound Effects_: D**CG

**_Boom operator_: E**llf

**_Special FX_: D**elta-Theta

**_Lighting_: H**erb

**_Pilot_: I**nnortal

**_Travel Coordinator_: N**eko

**_Stunt Coordinator_: R**akhal

**_Stunt Double One_: S**tacy

**_Stunt Double Two_: S**tratagemini

**_Trama Unit_:** **S**olara

**_Ferret handler_: T**rimatter

**_Explosives Expert_: S**unny

**_Heavy Weapons Advisor_: Y**arrow

Special Thanks to Furikan High School,  
Mishima Heavy Industries,  
Can-Can Teen Publications,  
Martial Artists local 182nd,  
And the Japanese Dept. of Tourism  
for the use of land and facilities.

**Filmed on location; Nerima, Japan**  
in TechiColor©  
tBoT Copyright 2005-2006


End file.
